Sunday, June 29, 2008

Chilling Out On Sunday

Today has been one of those lazy summer days. This morning I got up went to Sunday School but left right before the sermon. I was still tired so I decieded to go back home. Yeah I know that was wrong... but a lil word beats no word. I finally got my computer back up and running. I reluctantly let someone use my computer and the next thing you know BAM the operationing system crashed, wirless connection was lost and I was off-line. Of course you ask, "what happened, what did you do to my computer?" And the culprit responds " I didn't do anything, as a matter of fact the last time I tried to use it it wouldn't work for me either."

Well the lesson learned from that experience is hands off my damn computer. Go to the library for all I care. But your grimy little fingers will never touch my keyboard....ya dig.

Other than that I am chilling. My locs are growing... thank GOD that transistion part was kinda crazy. I really can't complain about the job too much, it's going well. My only complaint is all the killing going on around here.

Man they are killing people left and right in the Lou. The murder rate is out of control. Times like these will drive a person to their knees. Well I just wanted to check in and let ya'll know I was okay, I hope everything is blessed with ya'll. Until we talk again keep ya head up

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Father's Day Remembrance

Today is Father's day, but you would not know it buy looking in restaurants, the card aisle, or the electronic stores. You see there is not a mad rush to celebrate fathers.. mama gets all the thank yous and appreciation dinners most of the time.

I often think about my own father and what he meant to me. Actually we had a love hate relationship. My father believed in education. With that in mind, he taught me my multiplication in third grade.... all the way to multiples of 12. On the weekend he always wanted us to "play" school and review what we learned that week. I knew very early in life what my daddy expected from me educationally.

However, that is where the expectations ended. My father was a drug dealer but he was very careful not to expose me and my siblings to his life style. I was a teenager before I realized how my dad made his money... and by that time he was dead.

A Dad is a girl's first love. In many cases without a truly involved Dad many girls like myself make many mistakes when it comes to finding love. When my father was alive he ruled the house like a tyrant and often spoke to my mother in a disrespectful way. I think he thought his money and support gave him the right to rule with an iron fist.

Deep down I despised him and made a vow to never let a man disrespect me and rule me with his finances. My dad has been dead for 18 years, but my feelings towards him has affected many of my relationships. I have no desire to have a man take care of me or provide for me. I'm scared to totally depend on a man because I view that as being weak. In my young eyes my mother was weak because for many years of her life she needed my dad to survive.

I often wonder, what type of woman would I be if my Dad was alive today. Would I be as bitter towards men as I am today? Would I've made better choices in life partners?
Would we be estranged? I guess it really doesn't matter now. It is what it is..

But if he were alive I would still wish him a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A Slap In The Face

I remember when hurricane Katrina pummeled the Golf coast region. The government efforts were lackadaisical at best. Most of America felt helpless and sadden as they watched people lose their homes, family, and in the worst case their life. When the government finally decided to help in often cases it was not enough.

To add insult to injury CNN reported FEMA gave away about $85 million in household goods meant for Hurricane Katrina victims. The excuse used by FEMA was it cost 1 million dollars a year to store the material, and it viewed the items has excess. There is a great deal of homeless people in the N.O. who could have used the household goods. This is the government’s way of saying they are done with Katrina victims.

The recent rains have caused several areas in the Midwest to flood. People here are dealing with the same issues as people in the Golf Coast region. I ‘m curious on how the government and insurance companies will respond to white people losing all their belongings. Will the recovery efforts be swifter and involve less red tape.

I bet a dime to a dollar that mid-western white folks will have an easier time getting FEMA to offer assistance. Let’s be real… racism still exist. It’s alive and kicking and the government is the main perpetrator of blatant racist acts.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Heat and Violence

This week has been a very violent week in the city of St. Louis. Yesterday we had four people killed in a 12 hour time span. What makes it worst is the fact that two of the people killed were innocent bystanders. If this is any indication of what the summer will bring, then the city can go ahead an order those extra body bags cuz we gonna need them.

About two weeks ago the city had A Call To Oneness. This is basically hundreds of communities coming together to protest violence. Community organizers asked the community to come out and march against the violence in our city. Man 50,000 men, women, and children showed up with signs like..... stop the violence.... we want our streets back....real men don't kill, crack can go to hell. It was a beautiful thing to see that many people concerned with the safety of others. However, that night was another deadly night and several people were gunned down.

I lost my brother to this city, he was violently murdered and left in the alley like trash. I feel personally invested to help stop the violence. When I hear about a life lost I immediately feel pain for the families. I've often wondered how people who commit such acts of violence sleep at night, do they pray for forgiveness, are they hunted by nightmares of the dead and if they ever think about the heartbreak they left behind.

I know there are many factors that play into violence, such has unemployment, poverty, drugs and lack of education. But it's time we stand up for what is right, people are dying.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Fabulously Broke

I read today that Ed McMahon and Evander Holyfield are facing foreclosures on their homes. Ed states he is $644,000 behind on his 4,000,000 home. Ed ‘s wife stated, “we have less money than people may think and we could have done a better job managing their finances. We didn't keep our eye on the ball. We made mistakes," she said. "It's embarrassing to say the least, and it's sad, because you know, Ed's worked his whole entire life."

Evander’s $10,000,000 home is set to auction off by Washington Mutual bank on
July 1st, and if that was not bad enough he also owes $550,000 in loans used to pay for landscaping on his 95-hectare estate. Just when you thought things couldn’t possibly get worst for good ole Real Deal, his baby mama is taking him to court because missed two payments equaling $6,000.

While both of these men were once considered multi-millionaires, this is a testament that if you are not a good steward over your finances or anything for that matter, you will surely lose it. Ed McMahon has been working all my life. I remember seeing him on television as a child and though many of my adult years. Can you imagine working your whole life to end up broke at the age of 85? This economy is no freaking joke! Being financially prepared is a key component of survival now days. Paying the rent late to cop those House Of Dereon Jeans and those cute shoes out of Nine West is no longer an option. Cutting back is the name of the game, especially when milk is damn near $4.00 a gallon and gas prices are rising so quick if you blink the price will change.

Don’t even get me talking about that damn stimulus check. So the gub’ment wants me to spend that “extra” money on something nice eh. Well I spent mine on my rent, and paid a few bills. Again how the hell can I justify purchasing a $400.00 Coach purse when it takes me$ 65.00 a week to fill up my gas tank, huh. People this is not the time for stunting and fronting. I hate to see so many people losing their homes due to the credit crunch. Unfortunately, people are losing their jobs too. Companies are cutting back and laying people off left and right, leaving many people to rely on unemployment benefits, welfare and food stamps. Although, I am complaining I am blessed to have a job and able to pay my bills in a timely fashion. Believe me chile, it hasn’t always been like that. Embracing the spirit of gratefulness and sustaining my faith it usually gets me through what ever life throws at me.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Road Ends For Hilary

Even after Barack Obama clinched the victory, Hilary will not admit defeat. Believe me, Hilary is a woman after my own heart. I am stubborn, Strong willed and hate to admit defeat, but sometimes you gotta know when to acknowledge defeat. I watched Hilary give her speech on CNN last night and I just knew that she would be pulling out of the race...... but nooooooo not Hil, she gave much props to Obama but she never said anything about giving up. Although she is not my candidate I admire her spirit to keep fighting on, but honestly the fat lady has sang.

I am so excited for Obama and can not wait to see how he will defend himself against the republican machine. This is gonna get very interesting and I will be watching every minute of it.