Living My Life Like It's Golden......

Black Women In America

2012-01-26T12:48:00.001-06:00

Being Black in America has become much easier than it was in my Grandmother and Great-Grandmother days. But it still aint no walk in the park. We have learned to adjust to our surroundings and have made ourselves successful in the direst of situations.

I am the eldest of four children and took on a great deal of the burden in my household by helping raise my siblings. I started babysitting when I was about 9 years old. My mother worked outside the home and on the weekends she needed me to watch the kids. At the time I had two brothers one was 7 and the other was 1. When I was 10 my mother gave birth to my sister so I started watching her too. I was resentful but I knew that this was not an option. I helping my family survive and it simply had to be done. This were I learned that family always comes first. It is expected that sacrifices be made to make things work, no matter how uncomfortable they are.

My father was in and out the home. When he was at home the financial stability her brought to the household was amazing. When daddy was home we had the best of everything. We ate good, we dressed good, we looked good and mama didn’t have to work as hard to make the ends meet. But when daddy left things went back to normal and we back to me and mama co-parenting the kids and keeping the house together. This is where I was taught that as a woman you gotta get your own you can’t depend on a man. Even if a man looks dependable always keep a few dollars hidden so if he leaves you won’t fall off.

I went to college and thought that doors would swing open and people would beg me to work for their organization. Well…..needless to say that didn’t happen. I graduated with my bachelors degree in Business Administration in 1999. I had a few nice jobs but when it lay off time it was like a first in, first out type of deal. I went back to get an Advanced degree because I was drilled that the more educated you were the better your chances of getting that six figure job. Yes I got that degree and got a job after looking for 6 months. However, it took 4 years to make a decent salary.

The Washington Post and Kaiser did research on Black women in America and here are some of the findings.

More than a fifth of black women say being wealthy is very important, one in 20 white women.

Sixty-seven percent of black women describe themselves as having high self-esteem, compared with 43 percent of white women.

Forty percent of black women say they experience frequent stress, compared with 51 percent of white women.

Nearly half of black women fear being a victim of violent crime, compared with about a third of white women.

Forty percent of black women say getting married is very important, compared with 55 percent of white women

63 percent of black women said it is acceptable to have a child without being married, roughly the same percentage as white women.

I can attest to all of those findings I over value being financially sound. My self-esteem is very high because I have trained myself to think that I am beautiful. After years of being down played for my dark skin and kinky hair, I decided f*ck what you heard I am phyne? So yeah I really don’t have a problem with how I look. Stress what can I say about stress.. there is more than enough of it to go around. Its always lurking somewhere. Being a victim of a violent crime is also on my list. I live alone in the city in a pretty big house. It wouldn’t matter if I lived in a tiny apartment. I always feel vulnerable like anyone can just come kick down the door and do whatever if they really wanted to. What can I do to stop them?

As a black woman we have so many titles. Ever heard of them…well here they go
The angry black woman, The strong black woman, The unfeeling black woman, The manless black woman, Welfare Queens, The work horse, The loud and obnoxious black woman, The black bitch and The black woman with an attitude.

I can personally say that people have used a few of those titles to describe me. Strong, bitch, manless and attitude. Normally these titles have been bestowed on me by people who either fear me and my potential to outshine them or they don’t know me.

Finances vs Love

The Post article stated that,
It is an age in which young black women see more options for themselves than ever. They can run a cable network (like Oprah Winfrey), lead a Fortune 500 company (like Xerox’s Ursula Burns), become an international pop icon (like Beyonce). Secretary of State? Condi Rice has been there, done that.
But even in this “age of Michelle Obama,” black women are rethinking the meaning of success and fulfillment. Many are concluding that self-empowerment is the road to happiness, and happiness does not require a mate.
“I can go to school. I can be successful. I can make money. I can have a career. That is in my power to control,” says Towan Isom, 39, who owns a public relations firm in the District. “Finding a husband — that would be great, but that’s not in my power to control.”

I’m going to agree with the sister. Making my coins and building a financially fit and stable life is of great importance to me, finding a soul mate…uh…not so much. Yes I have found someone whom I love and would like to spend the rest of my life with. However, when I met him I was not looking for him and it just never really made a difference to me if I ever got married. Yes there were times when I wanted to have a mate, but I dated pretty frequently and hell getting sexed up was never a problem for me.

As time went on many of my friends started having babies and getting married and I briefly questioned if that was the path the right path, At the time I was 30 unmarried and no children. I was chasing money living from state to state going after the most lucrative job offers. I am 35 now and I am still in the same space. I don’t know if that will change anytime soon.

Some say what is riches without someone to share it with. To that I say now that I found someone who loves me I am happy to grab is hand and walk through life. But I didn’t grow up being told I was a princess and that love would conquer all. All the women in my family worked and obtain financial freedom with the strength of their own minds and hands. I was expected to do the same thing. It’s was laughable to think a man would come along and make my dreams come true and that our love would bring us through the storms. I was taught.. “Girl if you wanna eat steaks, drink fine wines, go on vacation, own a home, drive a nice car and live the life you desire…YOU better make it happen.” And my Grandfather was one of the people that planted those seeds in my head. Did I believe love was possible well….yes. But on a level that I would find a guy he would work and I would work we would build a life together and no one would be 100% for the other person, unless there was a change in circumstances. And that is exactly what I got. However, if he never would have come along I would have been okay with it.
Breaking down stereotypes
Asha Jennings Palmer was quoted in the article said, “black women are too often viewed as flashy, provocative, eye-catching — imagery that makes her cringe. According to the stereotype, African American women — educated women — are b------, and they run men out of their lives

Yes I can most certainly relate to this. Like I said earlier I have been referred to has a bitch and made to feel that my education has cost me the likely hood of marriage. When you are the boss at work and you happen to be black if you ruffle a few feathers you are considered a bitch. Well this concept applies to women in general, However, I think it is just as hard as a black women being educated and salaried in the work place as it is being a regular worker. Some people expect the black woman boss to be an asshole and have an attitude. Of course she is single no man can stand to put up with her. I will call bullshit on that in a minute. I have been playing this corporate game for a minute and I am more educated and knowledgeable than most of my counterparts. Yet I have watch them climb up the ladder with little to no effort.

Interracial Dating

According to a 2010 study by the Pew Research Center that looked at the rates of interracial marriage among newlyweds in 2008, just 9 percent of black women married a spouse of a different race — a rate that was less than half that of black men.
The reasons for the gap between black women’s interest in interracial marriage and their rates of interracial marriage are complex, according to experts who have researched the subject. Studies of online dating, for instance, have shown that black women are less likely than other women to receive messages of interest from men of other races. Researchers attribute that to a social hierarchy that still undervalues them and unflattering stereotypes of black women — loud, aggressive — that remain in the popular culture.

Okay just turn on the television on any music channel and you will see a black beauty shaking and gyrating like her life depended on it. The black music industry idolizes a big black ass. It makes it seems as if all you need to stay laced with the best is big ole fat ass! Black women are more than likely the bread winner in their household. Most of us have babies with no daddy in sight. If you look at VH1 and Bravo and see Basket Ball Wives (most of which are not wives), The Real House Wives of Atlanta (most are not wives), Love and Basketball. If this is your only contact with black women personally ( which for a great deal of white folks it is) your likely to think very low of black women. In the show we come off as putting materialistic possessions before our self respect, our kids and any other value we are suppose to have. Not to mention that it shows that we cannot handle conflict and fight at a drop of a dime.
Okay we have Oprah, Beyonce, Michelle Obama and Condi Rice but they are marketed to the world like a freak accident. Like they some type of exception and a true rarity. Are they rare? The answer to that is HELL NO. Black women have been making things happen and doing amazing things since we graced the earth. No our accomplishments are not spread across the media lines. We normally don’t get kudos for our efforts, but rest assured there are plenty of fabulous black women, some work at the school serving lunches, some work in factories, others are stay at home moms, and plenty work at fortune 500 companies.

Let’s just say being a black woman in American is very complex. I will be glad when people stop analyzing us like we’re some type of abnormal species. We are an ever evolving group of people. It is really hard to categorize us, and I wish they will stop with their (mainstream white America) attempt.

Friends and Your Business.. Does the Two Mix?

2012-01-23T14:57:00.001-06:00

So I’m at my friend house picking a drill I let her borrow. I sit down for a minute and we start talking. I start venting about some issues that I am having with my man. She responds by saying, “ Yeah I was telling Aunt Annie about you and your guy and she says she don’t know why you put up with it.”

First of all I only met her Aunt Annie twice and the lady has to be at least 60+ years old. Of course I’m looking her upside her damn head trying to figure out why the hell is her and her Aunt discussing my personal business. I mean at least why the f*ck you sitting up here telling me that you shared my business with a woman a barely even know? Clearly she doesn’t know when to shut the hell up!

She still sitting up there talking and I’m calling her all kind of four and five letter words in my head. So at the moment I decide that I will be very conscience who I share my issues with. People quick to tell your business and keep their shit extra secret.

So the moral to that story is every friend can’t handle knowing your business. Especially if they think your situation is more messed up than their situation so be careful who you share with….I know I will be.

Same friend different scenario. She is without a vehicle at the time and her boyfriend’s car has broken down. I don’t mind helping out my friend and her kid…. but I do mind helping the guy out because I am not his friend. So the other day we out to dinner and on the way back to her house she ask if I can drop her boyfriend off to work. Mind you he calling all through dinner asking her to ask me to take him to work. Okay so I give her the side eye and I say okay. She paid for dinner so I taking her guy to working was just semi irritating.

A few days later I went back to get the drill and on my way out the door I catch him mumbling something and making gestures with his head towards the door. She comes outside and asked if I have anything planned because her and her guy wanted to go out on a day. I let her know I have plans for the evening so that was not possible. I walked away thinking what the hell is wrong with her. If the ninja wanted to take her out he should have asked one of his friends to borrow their car and NOT told her to hit up one of her friends.

Then yesterday I was going to the store and thought she may need a few things too. I called her up and asked if she wanted to ride to the store while I was going. She said she needed to get a few things. I get to the house to pick her up and who comes to ride with her……you got it the boyfriend. I’m like why is he going I have a small car and he is a big dude he just taking up space and really there was just no need to go. So I’m looking all crazy in the face when he gets in. So I am debating if I should tell her that I do not mind helping getting her where she needs to go until she gets on her feet… but I do not want to be hauling around her man too. I don’t know it just rubs me the wrong way. I doesn’t seem manly to me. What are your thoughts?

Can You Blame Him

2012-01-23T14:37:00.001-06:00

The captain of the Costa Cruises ship that partially sank on Friday after hitting rocks off the coast of Italy had diverted the vessel onto a route not authorized by the company, its CEO says. Foschi suggested that the 10-year veteran of the company wanted to show off the ship to the port area of Giglio that it was passing. He decided to change the course of the ship to go closer to the island and pass in front of the little city that sits on that island," Foschi said. "This is what he wanted to do."

Okay I can understand the captain facing manslaughter charges because he made the decision to take the ship closer to shore. But then there is that abandoning ship charge. I must admit I don’t know what to think about that. The caption claims her fell over board after the ship hit the rocks and ended up in a life raft. He says he asked to be taken back to the ship but he was refused.

I kinda think the caption is lying cuz if it was me I probably would have beat everybody including the children getting off that damn boat. Tell me why is it expected in that profession that the Captain go down with the ship? We don’t expect airline pilots to stay in a burning plane while all the passengers exit first. If a bus or train gets into an accident we don’t expect the drivers to stay on board until every passenger is safely off.
Hell yeah that captain got the f*ck off that ship before he was dead too. Don’t get me wrong it would have been noble for him to stay but at the end of the day he has a family too, not to mention pure survival instincts. My heart goes out to the families that lost loved ones one that boat and yes someone need to pay for their pain and suffering. Maybe it’s the captain or maybe it’s the cruise company.

The last I heard the cruise company was giving back a 100% refund to all passengers and 30% off their next trip. ******blank stare……and crickets******

I almost forgot about HIM

2012-01-08T14:37:00.002-06:00

Today I went to church. Now as much as I would like to claim that I go to church every Sunday....that would be a lie. But today was one of those days that I felt moved to go to the Lord's house. While there I realized how distracted I have become with everyday life.

I'm back in school and fight for every good grade I can get. There there is the fiancee and separation anxiety. Since we live so far apart there are times that I want to be with him so bad that he takes up all of my mind space. Then there is the healthy plan, which requires me to workout at least 4 times a week. I'm not gonna mention my shaky finances and my inability to save as much money as I would like.

Needless to say I have a lot on my mind. There are times when I can go days without thinking about God or thanking him for his blessings and grace. I even have a bible on my nightstand and lately it has turned into a coaster for my cups.

Today I reflected on how I have placed all the temporal things above God. God has been great to me and that is a fact. I have relied on God when there was simply no one or nothing to hold on too. I have confided in him when I was too embarrassed to tell my friends and family the stupid things I had done.

Things loosened up and got better and I forgot about God. Now I think about him from time to time but not as much as I did when I was sinking and I thought my trouble would overtake me. Lord knows I don't want to be in trouble to find God again.

I didn't have a New Years resolution but I think I will make one. I will make time for God. I will make him a priority in my life because after all he gave up his Son so I could have life.

X-mas is finally over

2011-12-26T21:13:00.002-06:00

Christmas if over and I can barely believe that it was ever actually here. I never got into the holiday spirit. Everything seemed so rushed and seemed to come so fast. Not to mention in STL we are unseasonably warm. It was 50 degrees on Christmas! I put up the tree I even cooked dinner and invited guest over but I still never got into the spirit. I guess the holidays dont seem the same as when I was a kid.

I use to love the holidays. I loved everything about the holidays, the cold weather, the lights, the shopping, the trees, the food and the way people are extra nice. Well things just have changed. It all seems about the money and the gifts. The kids just dont seem as appreciative as they used to be.

But I just had to tell myself maybe I forgot the reason for the season. If I would have remembered Jesus maybe I would have felt the holiday spirit. How was your holiday?

Silly Rabbit Tricks Are For Kids

2011-12-01T15:24:00.000-06:00

Today is World AIDS Day. I won’t go into the staggering statistics regarding African American women. We’ve heard the percentages, know the horror stories yet we are still out here raw dogging it and putting our lives on the line.
But the reality of AIDS is so real that you could lose your life behind transmitting AIDS

A District man pleaded guilty to shooting a woman in the head after she jokingly told him she had given him AIDS, officials said.
Lloyd Wilkins, 49, of Northeast Washington, was charged with possession of a firearm during a crime of violence and possession of an unregistered firearm, according to U.S. Attorney Ronald C. Machen, Jr.
On April 23, 2011, a woman came over to Wilkins' home. They began drinking and eventually had sex, authorities said.
Afterward, the woman jokingly told Wilkins that she had given him AIDS.
Wilkins then walked to his closet, got a 12-gauge single-shot shotgun and fired it at the woman's head, striking her, authorities say.

He then called 911 to report he had shot someone.
Despite the injury, the woman was able to call a friend to pick her up and take her to the hospital. She had extensive surgery and remains deaf in her right ear as a result of the shooting.

Medical records were obtained which show she does not have AIDS.
Let’s not forget that this man had consensual unprotected sex with this woman. Yet he damn near lost his mind when she “jokingly” told him she gave him AIDS. First let me just say home girl may wanna work on her comedy routine cause that is not something you want to “joke” around with. Secondly the man should go to jail for a few years, maybe then he will learn to take responsibility for his own actions.

People AIDS is 100% preventable.

Time Flies

2011-11-10T22:53:00.002-06:00

My goodness I cant belive we are already in November. We will be celebrating the New Year before you know it. Have any of you noticed how quickly time seems to be getting away from us?

Yesterday I heard that Heavy D passed away and I thought about the first time I saw him in concert ....which was 1988 by the way. My cousins and I went to see Heavy D, Salt and Pepper, Dougie Fresh, The Fat Boys, LL Cool J and Curtis Blow. It was a great show. We all had a good time and it was my first concert.

Shoot 1988 seem so far away it might as well be 1958. From time to time I just think about how simple things used to be. How all I had to do was go outside and play and do well in school. How I had friends in my neighborhood and riding our bikes was considered fun not exercise!

Times has changed and so have I. I just wish some things could stay the same. All change is not good

So Gone...

2011-10-29T21:09:00.002-05:00

Why does my body ignore what my mind says. I try to keep in tact.... but I'm here in this bed.. I need to listen.

He got that thickness, the kind that make you wake up making biscuits for breakfast, so gone. And I ain't even think about the next chick that he messed with... so reckless.

These are lyrics to Jill Scott's single So Gone. And I can relate so well to these lyrics. Well....not so much now but I've most certainly had some "so gone" moments. Single ladies....y'all get this right?

Meet a guy not interesting in making him your man but some way or another sex enters the game. Damn.... brother got that diamond chip d*ck (that means his sex game is a perfect 10)

So now you contemplating how you wanna handle this. You're not in a relationship and he is not really relationship material... but that bed game aint no joke. Most of these men that have diamond chip d*ck know they are in possession of a true rare gift and their whole intention is to get you sprung!

Next thing you know... brother man at your crib more than a few nights a week and you
acting all boo'ed up like you really got a man. But here is where the game changes. The more you get sprung out on that good sex... the more power he has.

Now we kinda trying to press the brother into a committed relationship. But you don't come and say it right out the gate you drop hints. Of course he ignores the hints. And your mind starts to wonder who is he sharing the goodies with. Which drives you more crazy.

You keep getting that good d*ck but feeling used up and not so special any more. You try to wane yourself off the sex. Promising I'm only going to have sex with him once a week, I'm not staying the night I will leave as soon as it's over.

This goes on for a little while longer and sooner or later it ends.

Wow I remember those days. Guess what I don't miss them....but I know what it's like.

Career Drama

2011-10-12T20:27:00.003-05:00

I feel just like the lady in the picture. Sometimes you just gotta scream and let all the negative emotions out of your body. My main issue is with my job. I have been on my job for 9 years and I am totally bored. My job is no longer fulfilling or fun. I have a new boss that totally get on my last nerve. I am no longer inspired nor do I feel like giving it my best.

I know I should not be complaining about my job when millions of people are without jobs. I am not been ungrateful or unappreciative but I want another job. I tried looking for a job last night and it has been so long since I looked for a job I don't even know where to start.

I am trying to relocate to California but I am not sure if I can. The job market sucks even more there. I have thought about hiring a headhunter, but shoot I am broke. What do you do when you are uninspired and just hate your job? Any suggestions?

Boys Are Stupid

2011-09-28T20:18:00.003-05:00

Okay I absolutely love my man. I really do...why else would I be dating a man on the West Coast and I am living in the Mid-West. It goes without saying that it is very challenging keeping things straight when we are so far apart. So anyway I go out to LA last week and we having a fairly good time and he mention that I put on a little weight. The weight issue is very sensitive to me and I can go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds when I am questioned about my weight. He said, " you need to lose a few pounds because I don't think it is healthy for you to be gaining too much weight." I'm not even going to mention that I lost 10 pounds since the last time I saw him. The last time we saw each other he didn't mention a damn thing about my weight.

Of course I brushed it off but it bugged the hell out of me all night. Next thing I know I am in the bathroom looking at my body and thinking all kinds of negative thoughts. But I know that I have lost 20 pounds in the last 3 months so I snatch those negative thoughts out of my head.

I figure he don't know what the hell he is talking about and quickly go back out and cuss him out. Now he feeling bad says he was only concerned about my health. I look at him hard and roll my eyes.He works out and has wash board abs and damn near no body fat. I feel like punching his ass in the throat.

He says I'm to sensitive...what you think

Stupid Crazy Blue Day

2011-09-14T21:22:00.003-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seems to go right. Well today is the day for me. Lord have mercy! Okay wake up its raining sheets outside and the sky is so dark it still look like it is night time at 7:00am. The lighting is illuminating the entire house as I scramble to find something decent to wear. The temperature dropped 35 degrees overnight....**kanye shrug*** St. Louis weather you don't like it wait until the next day. Tuesday the high was 93 today the high was 65. So I get to work and the first thing I am greeting with is YOU MADE AN ERROR. My boss is telling me I messed something up and I broke protocol and he has to figure out a way to tell the higher ups about my mistake. Never mind he is the one that provided the instructions... now he wants to cover his azz and tell me it was my error. I swallow my anger but I can fill it building up in my stomach.

I had to give a presentation but I was so messed up about this so called error that I couldn't really think about nothing else. Mean while it is still raining cats and dogs outside. I spend the rest of the day trying to fix the error and provide him talking points to give to the higher ups. Then I get an email from my professor telling me to call him. I call him and he tells me I bomb my midterm and suggest I get a tutor. I was feeling really stupid cause I thought I did well on the midterm. I didn't study as hard because I thought I knew the information. I chose to drop the class because there was no way I was going to settle for less than a B. My fiance is in LA and I wanted him to be home with me. I just wanted a good ole fashion hug. I drove home in the rain and just sat in the car in front of the house.

It's times like this that make we ask am I following the right path for me. Am I living out my purpose or am I just living and taking up oxygen. Well I am hopeful that tomorrow will be a little better. The sun does shine eventually.

Happy Labor Day....or NOT

2011-09-03T22:55:00.002-05:00

Labor Day is Monday, and while I appreciate my job and the day off, the celebration means nothing to millions of unemployed Americans.

The Labor Department found that black unemployment — already way above the 9.1 percent national average — had a large one-month jump of 0.8 percent, to 16.7 percent in August from 15.9 percent in July. It’s the highest level of African-American joblessness in 27 years.

The number of African Americans in the labor force numbered at 17,930,000 in August.Of the number reported in the August labor force only 14,941,000 were employed. That means 2,989,000 black people are unemployed. Of course this figure does not take your cousins that stopped looking for a job or your other cousin that just recently got out of jail. These numbers only take into account those people actively looking for a job.

Then to add insult to injury it is being reported that many companies are not hiring unemployed people. This is some ridiculous mess, with such a weak economy how can this be effective. Employers are able to be more choosy in their selections and pay a hell of a lot less for top tier employees. However, this decision by corporate america has a negative effect on non whites, workers over 40 and disabled applicants.
An employer considering an ethnic minority are decreased by one-third if jobless applicants are excluded. The pool of disabled applicants would be reduced nearly 50%.

According to the National Employment Law Project, Sen. Blumenthal of Connecticut introduced legislation this week to ban employers from only hiring those that currently have jobs. “A snapshot sampling of recent online job postings disclosed a large number of ads explicitly limited to those who are ‘currently employed’,” said Christine Owens, executive director of the National Employment Law Project. “This perverse catch-22 requires a worker to have a job in order to get a job, and it means highly qualified, experienced workers who want and need work can’t get past the starting gate in the application process simply because they lost their jobs through no fault of their own. As a business practice, this makes no sense, and as a way to rebuild the economy, it only debilitates workers, particularly the long-term unemployed.”

The talk of a double dip recession has started and many are nervous. I know the crime rate in my city has soared. Every other day I hear on the news that a bank was robbed. Police are working overtime to keep the streets safe. More and people are turning to drugs and alcohol to deal with mounting debt and life challenges. Not to mention the increase of people standing at the highway exits and stop lights with signs asking for money.

It is imperative that we demand out senators and congress people to come up with a plan to create jobs. President Obama will have a job creation speech on Thursday and I hope to God he has something worth saying. I dont blame our Prez for the state of the economy but it is happening on his watch. I personally know so many people who are unemployed that it makes me angry. It's like an un-noticed phenomenon.

Busy as a Bee

2011-08-07T20:33:00.002-05:00

OMG my life as taken a turn and now it is in the super busy lane. It's funny how at one moment it feels like time is going by slowly and boredom is my best buddy..... but now it seems that all I have time for is sleep. What has been keeping Black Doll so busy?

My sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

This has taken my breath away. She found the lump herself and it is in the very early stages but breast cancer can be a beast so being a supportive sister is #1. My sister has decided to remove the breast with the cancerous cells. This is a very bold move and I am so scared for her. She tried chemo first and it made her too weak and too sick. It is so hot in St. Louis right now....just being in the heat for a few minutes made her pass out. Next week she goes in to have the breast removed and she seems perfectly calm about it. I know that she is really nervous as hell.. but she is a master at projecting calmness. Plus I gotta make sure her kids don't drive her bananas while she is trying to get better. Not to mention that she lives about 7 blocks from me and she calls me all the time. Can you go get this, can you help me with that, what chu doing. Yes we talk more than ever now and I'm just happy I can be there for her

I am getting married!

My guy proposed to me last month with a beautiful 3 carat solitaire ring. Yes he aint no joke when it comes to coming correct with the proposal. But seriously I would have married him if he but a band-aid on my finger! Of course I was excited and was planning the ultimate intimate wedding. That got tiring really fast...who to invite who not to invite? The budget keeps growing and growing. I found a venue that I love at a price that I love, need to lose at least 40lbs before the wedding. The wedding is tentatively scheduled for June 2012. I know it seems far away but it is not that far when you are planning a wedding. Actually right now I don't know if I feel like planning a traditional wedding shindig. I may just do a destination wedding. Right now St. Lucia or St. Barts is looking really good to me right now. Of course I ask my man "baby what you wanna do"... he says " which ever is cheaper... or whatever you wanna do". He is no help guess he feels he did his job by asking!

Graduate School

I am in school and I tell you this second masters degree is much harder than the first one. I am up all night working math problems, reading notes and studying. My weekends are filled with homework and wedding planning. It is not unusual for me to go to bed at 3am on a Friday and Saturday. I sleep all day on Sunday and study just a little bit. My professors know I am up all night because I email them questions all the time in the middle of the night. Most of the time I am so tired I feel like I am about to fall over.

I will try to get back to regular postings next week. But if I fall off you know why.

Clubbing.......When Should You Stop?

2011-07-04T22:34:00.003-05:00

When I was in my twenties I loved the club. My girls and I partied from Thursday night to Saturday night. It was really a ritual which consisted of trying to be the baddest chick in the club. This required a lot of time and money. Because most of us were recent college grads with money to burn it was nothing to spend hundred of dollars at the mall, hair salon, and nail salon. Friday after work was spent getting our hair weaved, cut, wrapped, dyed and curled head straight home and get ready for the club. Saturday was spent at the mall getting the perfect outfit and getting our mani-pedi's. Go home relax a few hours and out to the club.

Did I mention that most of the time I didn't stumble into the house until after 7 in the morning. See St. Louis borders on the great state of IL. We would go to STL clubs and party until 2:00 am (all STL clubs close at 3am, some at 1am). Then we head over to East St. Louis (ESL) and party until 6am in the morning. Yes ESL clubs stay open until 6am. Then we would go to Denny's and eat breakfast because all that dranking required a lil food after awhile. Then we would go home and sleep all day.

Of course as I got older and bills started coming in and my responsibility level increased my time at the club started to wane. By the time I was 28 the club was no longer that interesting to me and my money was needed in other places.

Fast forward to last Saturday my friend asked me to join her at a club to support her high school class reunion. All monies collected a the door would be used towards her school high class reunion. I hesitated at first but was like okay, but agreed to only go if she convinced our other friend to go. So eventually we all decided to go to the club. My friend assured us it would only be people our age at the club so it would be very mature.

So the day it was time to go we were all asking each other what to wear. Nobody could agree so we decided to do our on thang. You could tell by our outfits that neither of us spent time at the club....we didn't even know what appropriate club attire was.

Now days all my clothes must be work friendly. I dont have enough money to buy street clothes and work clothes. I had a nice jumpsuit and some comfortable heels and thought that would be casual enough without looking like I tried too hard. My other friend put on some jeans and a silk blouse and heels. She also went for the chic casual look. But my other friend took it to the limit. She went old school, got her hair done, bought an expensive "get'em girl" strapless dress and some red patent leather 5" (come fuck me heels).

We weren't if we were under dressed of if she was overdressed but we soon found out. Friend #1 was most certainly overdressed. It was very relaxed and she stood out like
Al Sharpton and a KKK meeting. She was upset and her feet hurt so bad that she stood up once to get a drink and could not get up again for the rest of the night. She finally decided to go to the bathroom. As she limped across the dance floor she looked like she was in pure pain and the sexy outfit no longer looked sexy but like a facade.

After drinking 2 long island ice teas. I was officially drunk and laughing at all the old folks in the club....including myself. After 20 minutes of waiting my our "sexy" friend to come back from the bathroom I texted her "Where are you" she responded "In The Car". So I grabbed my other friend and we left the club and went back to the car.

I asked sexy what happened she said she could not walk in those heels another minute, plus she was embarrassed that she was sooooo overdressed. We all looked at each other and busted out laughing. We agreed that we had been out the club game too long and that we were now too old to be seen at a club.

My question to you is how old is too old to be clubbing?

Concert Review – R. Kelly Love Letter Tour – St. Louis, MO

2011-06-24T13:28:00.002-05:00

Last Friday The Love Letter tour graced St. Louis with its presence. I had never seen R. Kelly in concert before and never cared to see him either but my co-worker kept suggesting that I go. One of my new years resolutions was to have more fun and get out the house more, so I thought this would be a great opportunity to enjoy some good music and just kick it with my co-worker and her people.

Marsha Ambrosiss (I’m sure I misspelled her last name). But the chick from Floetry that lost a tone of weight, she looks like a different person, she looks good though. I absolutely loved Floetry so I was pretty siked about seeing her perform. Her set up is pretty basic she has a stair case on stage but they are never used she just suddenly appears. No I take that back I was at the concession stand when she came on so I’m not really sure how she made her appearance. Anyway, she had an electric keyboard and DJ and a drummer on stage with her. Like I said she lost a ton of weight and she was rocking her booty shorts and doing some small dance moves. I was very disappointed that she did not sing any of the songs she did when she was with Floetry. If she did she did not sing the original version but some other rendition of the songs. She sounded like herself for the most part but she also sounded slightly out of breath at times. I’m not sure if she is not accustomed to performing by herself or working a huge arena. With time I think she can conquer that issue. She cursed a bit too much for my taste at times, but it was all in fun. She sang a few cuts off her new CD and then began to sing some old school songs from other artist. I would give her performance 2 out of 5 stars. If she is not going to sing the Floetry stuff, she needs a little more material because I was bored towards the end of her performance and started texting my man to see what he was doing at home.

Next was Keisha Cole. They kept the same stair case they had for Marsha show but added a backdrop that looked like a semi professional air brush artist painted. She had 4 dancers, a drummer and guitarist on stage with her. First let me say you may want to take this review with a grain of salt because I am not that crazy about Keisha Cole. She actually used the steps and descended down the steps. She rocked her booty shorts with some thigh high snake skinned boots and a nice shirt. She attempted a few dance moves with the dancers but it was clear that dancing is not really her forte. Her voice sounded just like her CD….not much variation. But let me add that she was lip singing some of the time. Occasionally she would take a break to sip on some water to sooth her singing voice while the taped part of the song continued to sing. She reminded the crowd that she was now a wife and a mother. The audience loved her top hits like Love, Should Have Cheated, Let It Go, ect. I would give her 2.5 out of 5 star. I would have liked to hear her actual singing voice

Finally R Kelly came on the stage. His stage was set up like a bar and a small city. He even had part of the stage go out into the audience. He wore a nice black suit with a silk read scarf. He started his show with a mini movie in black and white. In the movie he was a black Humphry Bogart when the mini movie ended he was on stage sitting at the same bar he was in the movie. He had a full band and four dancers. He was on stage for two hours. Of course he has enough material to do that, but I forgot how much I liked him. He took us back to the 90’s to the new millennium. I suddenly remembered how I used to kick it with my friends with R. Kelly going in the background. He was a great entertainer and engaged the audience at all times. He even spent time out in the thick of the audience; he performed at least 4 songs in the audience. His dancers were no joke, if you didn’t know better you would think you were at the strip club. He was excellent to see live. I give him 4 out of 5 stars.

Next concert review will be Jill Scott, Anthony Hamilton and Mint Condition coming to the Lou 8/4/2011

Happy Birthday Tupac

2011-06-16T15:26:00.006-05:00

I loved him then... I love him now. Oh how I miss your music!

Elmer Gerard “Geronimo” Pratt

2011-06-07T12:14:00.000-05:00

Let us remember one of our own. Elmer Gerard “Geronimo” Pratt. How many men do you know are willing to sacrifice their freedom and live for a cause they believe in? I personally don’t know very many. Geronimo represents the fighter gene in the DNA of African Americans. The fight that was bred in us when were living out our lives in Africa. The fight that has since started to die a slow steady death. Now it has been replaced with sagging pants, misogynistic lyrical content, hood rats, high drop out rates, staggering rates of incarceration, single mothers and serious black on black violence. If was born during the time of the Black Panther movement I would’ve been right in the thick of it.

But like many other political fractions the Black Panther party allowed power and outside influences to be their demise. But for awhile they grabbed the bull by the horn and started to take control of their schools and neighborhoods. Did y’all know that Geronimo was Tupac’s god father………how awesome is that. I would have loved to have all that knowledge and revolutionary spirit around me.

If you want a brief history lesson read about our brother Geronimo below. Trust me it’s worth it. Of course I’ve added my own commentary.

In 1968, five of his siblings were living in Los Angeles, and they convinced Pratt to enroll at UCLA, which had initiated a "High Potential Program" intended to help minorities pursue a college education. That fall, Pratt began to attend classes at the Westwood campus. There, he met Alprentice "Bunchy" Carter, ( Is it me or did you have to have a cool nick name to join the Black Panthers) who had also grown up in Louisiana and was one of the original members of the Black Panther Party--a group that Pratt soon joined. It was Carter who gave Pratt the nickname "Geronimo," to honor his fierce commitment to the party. "Being fresh from Vietnam, plus being from the South, opened my eyes to a lot of things," Pratt was quoted as saying in Race and Class Magazine.

After Carter and another Panther leader were killed by a rival organization, Pratt was quickly promoted in the party hierarchy. By 1969, at age 22, he had become the party's deputy minister of defense--bypassing 36-year-old Panther Julius Butler, and causing a rivalry between them. That rivalry would become important later, when Butler became a key prosecution witness in Pratt's murder trial.
As defense minister, Pratt got into trouble with the law several times over the next few years: he was arrested for possessing a pipe bomb and for assault with a deadly weapon, though neither charge stuck. In late 1969, he was ordered by Huey Newton to "go underground" to build a "revolutionary infrastructure" in the Deep South. Pratt spent the rest of that year travelling around Alabama, Louisiana, and Texas, gathering weapons and fortifications for Newton's latest directive for the party: a separate nation for blacks.
By 1970, Pratt was under surveillance by the Los Angeles Police Department and the Los Angeles Attorney's Office. Although it wasn't known at the time, both offices were in contact with the FBI; according to FBI documents released in the late seventies, Pratt was one of the "key black extremists" that the FBI wanted to "neutralize

On December 8, 1970, Pratt was arrested in Dallas, Texas, and extradited back to California, charged with involvement in a 1969 shootout. Later, he was indicted as one of the two suspects in the unsolved "tennis court murder." Two years earlier, on December 18, 1968, Caroline Olsen and her husband, Kenneth Olsen, were about to begin a game of tennis on a Santa Monica court when two men, described as black and in their twenties, robbed them at gunpoint. During the bungled robbery, which netted just $18, Caroline Olsen was shot to death and Kenneth Olsen was wounded.
"At the time that I was indicted, it was just another charge that they threw in to maintain a no-bail situation...," Pratt told Race and Class Magazine in 1992. "Eventually, it became more and more obvious to us that the murder charge was something that they were really going to try and press."

It was something that they were really going to try and press."
Pratt contended he was at a Black Panther meeting in Oakland, 400 miles away, the night of the shooting; but his alibi was substantially weakened when many high-ranking Panthers refused to confirm it. By 1970, the party was split by a bitter feud which would eventually destroy it. On one side were Huey Newton and Bobby Seale, who renounced violence; on the other were Eldridge Cleaver and his followers--including Pratt--who favored more militant methods. While Eldridge Cleaver's wife, Kathleen Cleaver, and two other Panthers testified in support of Pratt, Huey Newton ordered members of his faction not to testify at the trial. More damaging piece testimony came from Kenneth Olsen, who identified Pratt as the killer.

The final piece of evidence came from Pratt's rival, Julius Butler, who testified that Pratt had confessed the murder to him. Days after Pratt had expelled him from the Panthers in 1969, Butler gave a contact at the Los Angeles Police Department an "insurance letter," to be opened only if he were killed. In the letter, Butler implicated Pratt in the unsolved murder--the first time Pratt had been tied to the crime. Later, allegedly under pressure from the FBI, Butler authorized the LAPD to open the letter.

Between the unconfirmed alibi, positive identification, and alleged confession--which Pratt denied to no avail--the prosecution's case was convincing. At the end of the 1972 trial, Pratt was convicted and sentenced to 25 years to life in prison

In 1976 in November Pratt’s wife Sandra, eight months pregnant, was murdered – shot five times at point blank range and dumped alongside an LA freeway (perhaps by US militants – the murder was never seriously investigated)., he married Asahki Ji Jaga; his first wife, Sandra, had been murdered in 1971 by the Newton faction of the Black Panther Party.

Pratt spent the first eight years of his sentence at San Quentin, in solitary confinement; but after Amnesty International took up his case, a jury determined that keeping him in solitary confinement was illegal. Several years later, he was transferred to Folsom. By the time he was finally released, Pratt was being held in Mule Creek State Prison in Ione, Amador County, California. In his 27 years in prison, Pratt was turned down for parole 16 times, because he refused to admit guilt or renounce his politics.

Shortly after Pratt was jailed, the case against him began to unravel. First, it came to light that Kenneth Olsen had originally chosen another man out of a police line-up. In his sworn testimony, Olsen had claimed that he had positively identified only one suspect--Geronimo Pratt.

Next, the FBI's role in Pratt's conviction came to light. In 1975, a congressional committee released its explosive findings about the FBI's covert counter-intelligence program, COINTELPRO. During the sixties and seventies, the agency deliberately tried to disrupt political groups that it deemed too radical--authorizing illegal phone taps and IRS audits, using informants, and trying to cause dissension within the groups. By 1968, the committee discovered, the Panthers were COINTELPRO's primary target; FBI documents explicitly called for Pratt, along with other leaders, to be "neutralized."
The most significant piece of evidence, however, surfaced in 1980. According to FBI documents, the key prosecution witness, Julius Butler, had acted as an FBI informant--and had denied it under oath during Pratt's original trial. During the trial, neither jurors nor defense attorneys were told of any FBI involvement in the case.
And finally, after Huey Newton's death in 1989, six Panthers came forward to testify that Pratt had indeed been present at the 1968 meeting in Oakland. "It has been on my mind all of these years that I should have testified," Bobby
March 1996 hearing, his case had become a cause drawing support from Amnesty International, the American Civil Liberties Union, several members of Congress, Coretta Scott King, and Nelson Mandela. Even members of the original jury that convicted Pratt had joined his defense

On June 10, 1997, in front of a courtroom packed with 1960s activists, Judge Dickey ordered Pratt to be released on $25,000 bail. He had spent 27 years behind bars. "It's the most satisfying victory in my career," Cochran was quoted as saying in Jet. "I've been fighting for this for 25 years."
Pratt was released in time to watch his son, Hiroji, go through his eighth-grade graduation ceremony. Later, he returned to Louisiana to see his 94-year-old mother, Eunice Petty Pratt, whom he had not seen since 1974.
Pratt's stood completely vindicated when in 2000 the city of Los Angeles agreed to pay $2.75 million and the U.S. Department of Justice $1.75 million to settle a lawsuit for false imprisonment and violations of his civil rights. As Pratt's lawyer, Johnny Cochran, told reporters, "This case shows that you can fight city hall and win."

Geronimo passed away on Thursday, June 3, 20011, at age 63 in Tanzania. Pratt has lived in a small village in the country f

Dark Skinned Blues

2011-06-01T20:14:00.001-05:00

Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.

I originally watched this video on Averagebro.com. Let me just say I was devestaed and hurt as I listened to the women. I am a dark-skinned woman… no I am not mocha brown, light brown I am dark. Today I have no problem with my complexion but I have not always had the self esteem that I have today. Most of the people in my family are of a lighter skin tone and I have been called everything from darkie, African bootie scratcher, blackie packy, black and beautiful, black satin ect…. Really, I have heard it ALL. Yes it was hurtful, but one day it just didn’t matter anymore. One day it just made sense for me to accept me, I’m not sure if people stop making fun of me or if I just didn’t give a damn anymore.

What is so funny is now I date a guy who loves my dark skin. Honey ….he is always saying how beautifully dark my skin is and how it is becoming. At first it was weird to hear a black man telling me how beautiful my skin was. I am well over 30 and this is the first time in my entire life that a man (other that my dad, or other men in my family) told me that part of his attraction to me was my skin tone.

Goodbye Oprah

2011-05-25T09:53:00.002-05:00

Today is the last showing of the Oprah show. I have purposely not watched the last week; it’s like watching a good friend leave on a journey knowing that she will never return. For me it’s a sad moment, but like all things it must come to an end. Let me just say this off top, I adore Oprah. She represents what we can accomplish when we utilize our God given talents. When we do what we are designed to do, when we are led by God and his purpose the out come will always be mind blowing and phenomenal. Oprah is the manifestation of dreaming BIG. Oprah has been my mental mentor for many years. I’ve participated in many phone interviews and I always have my O magazine right there in front of me. That O magazine comforts me while I am on the interview. It reminds me that if God can do it for Oprah, he can do it for me too, he is loves us all the same.

I remember one time I gave a good friend of mine a baby shower at my home. Her family started to arrive and was mingling and talking until the shower officially started. Well some of her older aunts started to discuss Oprah and Gayle and starting talking trash about Oprah and Gayle being lesbians. Of course I zoomed into their conversation and was pissed. I pulled my friend in the kitchen and let her know to advise her aunts that this was not the place to be hating on Oprah, if they continued they would have to leave. Yes honey, they were about to be kicked out on their asses for talking trash about my mental mentor! I don’t play that, she has done too much for people of all races for those heifers to be throwing shade.

Seriously, I just want to say publicly that I admire, respect, and love Ms. Winfrey. Her family is messy, she has no children, and she isn’t married. However, her life is still on purpose and is wonderfully fabulous. Oprah is living proof that a woman can still make a positive change in this world and not follow the traditional or expected path. I feel like I connect with her on a very deep level. I too have chosen my career over the things that society says a women needs to be a complete woman. While nothing is wrong with marriage and children…………..they are not the things that make a woman a woman. This is something that I have struggled with understanding and accepting about my life. But it seems that I can finally make peace with it without any resentment or anger. Today I am not afraid to say that I want to have a high powered career more than I want to get married of have kids. I’m not saying that the later will never happen, I’m just saying that I’m not actively pursuing either. I recently was asked to adopt a child, I thought about it long and hard, in the end I decided I just didn’t have the time. Not to mention that the little time I have for kiddie stuff is taken up by my three handsome nephews.

Anyway Oprah I wish you nothing but the best in your new venture. I know that your OWN network is going to take fabulousness to the next level.

Mommy or Not........ A Very Hard Decision

2011-04-22T08:31:00.002-05:00

I feel so relaxed and refreshed I should go on vacation more often. I spent 5 glorious days in NOLA and I had a blast. It was relaxing, exciting, fun and educational. But even with all that relaxation I still have something laying heavily on my mind.

A few years ago I decided that I wanted a baby and adoption was my best option. Last year I began to look into the process and evaluate different agencies. I found one I liked and decided to explore it further. I looked at adoption DVD’s, read brochures and spoke to several representatives. I was deflated when I found out the adopt cost would run me between 20,000- 30,000. Of course I don’t have that type of “spare” change lying around so I just gave up on the idea of adoption. At the time I wasn’t upset, I just felt that maybe I was made to be a super Auntie.

So I surrendered to the idea of not being a mommy and decided to live MY best life. Then out of now where a family member asked me to adopt their unborn child. She said that she could not take care of it properly and was putting it up for adoption but she knew at one point I really wanted a child. I told her I would think about it and get back with her later. Well that was 3 months ago, last week she called to tell me she was 7 months and she really needed me to make a decision because she could make other arrangements for the child. I asked for another week to think about it. Let me just tell you that this is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made!

Part of me is so scared of being totally responsible for another human being. What if the child turns out be a crack head or serial killer! What if I am not a good parent, what if I can’t afford everything the child needs, what if I work too much? I’m still in school how can I manage that with a new born? Can I really afford a child……what about daycare, isn’t that expensive?

Then I think, a baby would bring so much joy in your life. It would make this house a home. I could really leave my finger print on the life of child. My life would become much broader and my heart will experience a love like no other. These thoughts make me excited.

But then the negative thoughts come up. You are too busy for a baby, you barely have time to sleep now, you don’t make enough money for a baby. I just keep tethering back and forth. I have prayed and I am still unsure what to do. I have to let her know something by this weekend and I just don’t know what to do. I guess I will keep praying and try to make the best decision possible.

I am just so flabbergasted because last year adoption was all I could think about; now that I have a chance to do it I’m acting all scared. I wonder why this is happening. Well I’ll let y”all know my decision either way.

French Ban Muslim Veil

2011-04-12T08:53:00.003-05:00

A controversial new law banning the use of face veils in public places in France went to effect yesterday. The law prevents Muslim women from wearing the niqab, a face veil that leaves a slot for the eyes or the burqa a full body garb which features a mesh cover for the face.

The French government feels that the veils are oppression against women and promote social exclusion and gender segregation. Some feel that the women who choose to wear the burqa and niqab have no choice because men make all the decisions. The French says this is not what their country represents and believes women should be treated as equals and should take their proper place in society. The burqa is not a religious sign,” Mr. Sarkozy said last year, but rather a “sign of subservience, a sign of debasement” of women.

The opposition feels this law is a violation of women rights prevents them from leaving the home and places them under house arrest. Many feel it is their right to wear the burqa and feels the law will criminalize women who choose to wear traditional wear. France is supposed to be a democracy, build on the differences of their national and embracing the religious rights of others. Some feel that this law is meant to stigmatize the Muslim community and is based in politics.

Many Muslim women consider the niqab a form of feminist expression, because it forces people to judge them by their character rather than their looks. No longer a slave to consumerism, niqab liberates women from the need to conform to unrealistic stereotypes and images dictated by the media. A woman wearing hijab have expressed that dressing modestly and covering their hair, minimizes sexual harassment in the workplace. The aura of privacy created by niqab is indicative of the great value Islam places upon women.

My dad was a Muslim and never forced me or my sister to wear the niqab or burqa. I understand Islamic principals and concepts and understand that many women enjoy being covered. Yes, some women are forced to cover, but majorities are not. Europe seems to be equating Muslims in their country with those of Algeria and Saudi Arabia, where women suffer great indignities. However, many of the Islamic fundamentalist detest European values and would not leave their country because they would essentially be out of their element. I say, if France believes in women’s right then let them have a choice. If they choose to wear the veil then let them. No one judges the French woman when she wears Prada and Louboutins! I agree no one should be forcing a woman to do something she does not want to do, not even the French government. Although many won’t admit it, but many people think Islam and terrorist are interchangeable words. With that mindset, laws are being created to subdue the Islamic culture, it is done primarily out of fear. Most Muslims are peace loving, God fearing people. I believe the French should leave this one alone. Many Westerners (including Americans) feel like the sign below.

The Abortion Band-Aid

2011-04-08T12:37:00.003-05:00

The image above hangs on several bill boards in New York. I actually got offended when I saw the bill board. I never thought of abortion and genocide or used to make black children an “endangered species”. The Catholic Church and pro-lifers are responsible for the bill board. Yes I am pro-choice…… in fact I am very pro-choice. As much as I love my nephews and niece I encouraged both of their mothers to abort them as soon as they told me they were pregnant. My sister had her first child when she was 16. However, we didn’t find out she was pregnant until she was almost into her 7 month. The other two came before she was 25, my sister was not emotionally, financially or mentally equipped to take care of 3 kids. Thankfully those last two grew that girl up REAL quick. She is a great mother but her opportunities are very limited, she struggles to put food on the table and relies on government assistance. My niece belongs to my brother. When his baby mama told me she was pregnant I told her that I think my brother would suck as a father and if she decided to have the baby she would truly be a single mother. She was a nice girl, good job and in college. She has dropped out of college and is also struggling to provide for my niece. And as predicted my brother sucks as a father.

I did not recommend abortion because I didn’t want them to have kids. I wanted them to have a chance at life, to do the things they wanted to do. My sister always speaks about going to school to become a fashion designer, a buyer for a boutique or major department chain, she is also good with home décor. Now she talks about it as if it is a fantasy. Her main concern is raising 3 boys into dependable grown men, trust me it’s a full time job.

The pro-lifers feel that Black and Latino babies are being slaughtered by abortions. It is true that a large percent of abortions are performed on Black and Latino women. I know many women that have experienced and abortion and it is not something they do without any thought or emotion…..in most cases it HAS to be done.

By contrast, Alveda King, a niece of Martin Luther King Jr., calls herself a “reformed murderer” for undergoing two abortions when she was young.
Now an outspoken anti-abortion campaigner, King says the best way to reduce abortions among black women is to dissuade more of them from premarital sex.
“We give free sex education, free condoms, free birth control,” she complained. “That’s almost like permission to have free sex, and the higher the rate of sexual activity, the higher the rate of unintended pregnancy.”

However, teenage pregnancy is down 39%. Half of the roughly 1.2 million U.S. women who have abortions each year are 25 or older. Only about 17 percent are teens. About 60 percent have given birth to least one child prior to getting an abortion.

Often the women getting the abortions say they act in the interests of children they already have. In NY two of every five pregnancies in the city end in abortion, a statistic that has barely changed in more than a decade. If you look at the population most affected by abortion you would see economics is directly tied to abortions. A majority of these women are already struggling single mothers, many live below the poverty line and in communities that were stripped of viable job opportunities a long time ago.

I also understand that it is up to the ladies to open their legs and have unprotected sex. Yes they must assume some responsibility for their behavior, but what do you do when a child is in the womb. No one has time to point fingers, either you get an abortion or you take food out of your other kid’s mouth to feed the new kid!

Unemployment statistics for black and brown folks is sad. Take a look at the graph. We are getting our ass kicked in the labor market. According to the Census Bureau, the recession and the housing crisis have most adversely affected African American and Latino families. In 2009, the median income for African American households fell 4.4 percent to just $32,584. That represents just 60 percent of the median income of white households.

In the same period, Latino households saw a roughly similar income gap with white households, though they actually felt a 0.7 percent rise in incomes. More than 21 million people who self-identify as African American or Latino live below the federal poverty line. The federal government also reported that more than 50 million Americans went without health insurance in 2009. Almost half, or nearly 24 million, were African Americans or Latinos. Since the collapse of the housing market in 2007 and 2008, homeownership rates for African Americans fell substantially in 2009. In fact, Census Bureau estimates show that African Americans have fallen to the same rates as 10 years ago. Compared to then, the rate of white homeownership has grown by more than four percentage points.

It seems to me instead of being concerned with the rate of aborted babies that they should focus on the disparities in housing, employment and health care. Abortion is simply a consequence of the economic gap in America. Of course no one wants to address this issue. That would mean pouring federal and private dollars into communities with a low tax base. It would mean investing in two of the most underserved and discriminated minority groups. It would also mean that the people in control of land and dollars would have to admit that they have been vehemently and blatantly unfair to black and brown folks. Do you think they are ready to admit that…………… did I hear a resounding HELL NO!

Instead they choose to focus on abortion, how convenient. Now the GOP would like to stop funding Planned Parenthood. Forty-one senators have pledged to filibuster any bipartisan spending bill that includes an amendment to strip federal funding from Planned Parenthood, threatening an impasse with House conservatives.

Looking to show off its influence over the 2012 field early in the game, the anti-abortion group Susan B. Anthony List sent out an email Monday putting each of the leading GOP presidential contenders on record in support of pulling federal funds for Planned Parenthood. Sarah Palin, Haley Barbour, Mike Huckabee and Tim Pawlenty each provided statements to the group, while the rest of the field was able to point to previous comments making their positions clear.

Planned Parenthood does more than abortion, I’ve used them before. When I didn’t have insurance they provided GYN services on a sliding fee based on my income.

I personally support abortion ( if the women feels like that is what she wants to do….its her choice) and I support Planned Parenthood.

Musings of A Bitter Sistah

2011-04-07T14:03:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I was inside my house with the widows up and I heard, “ Fat bitch, keep doing what you doing and I’mma beat you mutha fucken ass. Yeah tell yo mama that!” Of

Of course I ran to the window to see who was causing all the ruckus and it was the people across the street. The guy was yelling at his girl and calling her every name but the child of God. He was disrespecting her in a major way and not giving a damn who heard him. I could hear her screaming at him out the door but I could not decipher what she was saying.

I wanna know why the bum ass ninjas be the first one to show their ass. This “man” doesn’t work, always outside phucking with his car and entertaining a host of rowdy friends through out the day and just living off the back of his woman.

As you can tell this guy gets my panties in a bunch. I just hate to see men blatantly disrespecting women. It’s the one thing that can take me to 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. To me there is no reason, a couple should be cussing each other out in public………….. and if so it better be the end of the relationship. I’ve noticed that most of the men that act this way are LOSERS and have nothing to offer. They really mad at their self but like to reflect it outwardly. Someone please tell me why the person bring the least to the relationship is always the one causing most of the problems. Well that has been my experience and as you can tell from the bitterness of my musing that I have dealt with this type of ninja before. I guess that is why I got so pissed off when I heard him acting a fool. A friend of mine once told me never let a non working man live in your house because if you try and kick him out you would swear his name is on the lease and he purchased all the furniture. It would be easier to get a brick through the eye of a needle than to get a lazy man out of your house!

In my opinion these types of men rarely change and most had bad relationships with their mothers. Actually any man that vehemently calls a woman a bitch it makes my blood run cold. I just hate that, it is the one thing that would make me dislike a man instantly.

So anyway ole boy continues to yell “fat bitch, stupid hoe” and she is mumbling something out the window. I decided to close my window because I realized I was having a flash back moment from when I was in a similar situation. I stopped painting and made me some tea to relax my mind. Sometimes I gave to remember not to be so bitter because all men are not ninjas and lazy bums. But if one tries to flirt with you……..run like your life depended on it.

DIY'ing ...........Again

2011-03-28T11:21:00.008-05:00

Hey Friends,

I am DIY’ing again! For the last two weeks I have been putting up chair rail and freshen up paint. Let me just say I worked my ass off. I was so exhausted that I literally feel asleep. I feel so empowered when I do things to my house myself. When I look at the projects that I completed I feel more connected with my home. I Things are coming along, but the walls are still bare. Trying to feel a house with décor can be very expensive so I am doing it one piece at a time. Tell me what you think?

The Big C………Classism

2011-03-23T08:40:00.001-05:00

I was over at Danielle Belton’s site (theblacksnob) and I was reading her take on the Jalen Rose/Grant Hill story. Danielle said she could understand both sides of the story because she has faced some issues with classism growing up in St. Louis. She writes…

When we first moved deeper into the county, from my old all-black suburb to a more Tony and white one, all the black kids at my junior high were fascinated by me for the maximum of one week. They all assumed I had to be some tough, hood kid with a thousand yard stare from the horrors I'd seen. But I was so boring to them. I didn't speak slang. I'd never seen a dead body. I'd never seen a police officer beat down anyone. I didn't have any cousins named Pookie strung out on crack.

Coincidentally, I ended up in this weird place where had almost nothing but contempt for my own kind (other suburban black kids). Largely because they made no sense. I was the one raised in the all-black neighborhood who read Alex Haley at 13 and performed in Black History Month plays. But I wasn't black enough because I didn't speak slang or own a Starter coat. Bougie black kids were a world of ghetto suburban contradictions. Just as their weird fascination with bragging about who's parents had the roughest childhoods. Or their obsession with inner city kids who mostly just wanted to be left alone. How they were all obsessed with going to North City to parties and trying to fit in and sometimes getting shot and sometimes getting killed because, again, they had no clue as to what they were doing and learned everything they knew about "the hood" from the movie "Colors."

I grew up in St. Louis too. However, I lived in the City…. the real urban part of the City. My family lived on the Westside off of N. Kingshighway. But imagine living in the heart of the ghetto and having everything you needed, while watching your friends and neighbors struggle. Yes I was an inner city kid straight out the “hood”, but I could speak correct English and Ebonics too! My mom was a single mother but she was college educated and worked for Anheuser Busch. We owned our home and were financially stable. My siblings and I always had what we needed and lots of our wants too. My mother was a cheap skate so we did not have a lot of “overhead” cost. Our house and car was paid for so my mother had a great deal of discretionary income. I remember I had to literally get on my knees and beg her for a pair of Air Jordan’s after about 4 months a new pair came out and I refused to wear the old ones. My mother said “give me those damn shoes, I’ll wear them my muthafucken self, as much money as I spent on those shoes and you talking about they outta style already!” Needless to say she never purchased me another pair of Jordan’s again.

In the summer time our block would burst at the seam with all the people just hanging out. As soon as it got warm music stared pouring out of cars, people started sitting on their porches, drug dealers started selling their products outside instead of inside, and the boosters started going door to door selling their merchandise. From time to time there was fight or someone got shot. In the early 90’s dudes from California started showing up on our block selling crack cocaine for a much cheaper price than what the locals were selling. Plus the dudes from Cali brought their gang affiliations with them. This created a blood bath in my neighborhood. Young boys/men were being killed daily.

My mother refused to move out of the hood because she said her house was paid for and she was not running out to the suburbs to take on a bigger mortgage. Plus she felt that if more people invested in the inner City instead of running to the burbs every time they got a bigger and better job the City would be a better place to live. I remember I dated a guy from the burbs and before he introduced me to his mother he told me to not tell her I was from the City because she really didn’t care for City people. I was so hurt, how did where I live play a role in what type of person I was. Yes I lived in the hood, but I went to excellent schools, was college bound, well read, loved the arts BUT I also was very familiar with city life. Like Jalen I felt that people from the burbs and two parent homes judge me for living in the hood. Yes my mother raised us alone…but she did a great job and she never made any apologies for being single with kids. She made sure that we took pride in our neighborhood by participating in clean up efforts and looking out for our neighbors….even the crack heads. She insisted that we treat the adult crack heads with the same respect we would anyone else. I’ve watch my mother feed and cloth our neighbors for 30 years and everyone in that neighborhood loves her to death. When I went away to college when I came home for the summer my entire block showed nothing but encouragement. The drug dealers and the crack heads alike would ask questions like “when you gone graduate, what you going for and what you gonna do when your done.” Then they would say “stay in school or don’t forget your street smarts while you getting all that knowledge”.

My mother taught me to see people as people and not judge them based on their class or color. I still live in St. Louis and I am very financially stable….but I still choose to live in the City. I own a home in the City and I care about my bad ass neighborhood just as much as the next person. Hell there is probably someone making judgments on me now because I am over 30 and unmarried. In this life everyone will have his/her own unique experience; no two stories are ever the same. People can’t help the situation they were born in…be it good or bad and we can not judge people because of their situation. As the saying go until you walk a mile in someone else shoes, make no comments.

Speak for Yourself

2011-03-08T15:00:00.002-06:00

As my Grandfather once said…. keep stupidity to yourself. No one knows how stupid you really are until you fuck up and say something really stupid. Video Vixen Dollicia Bryan feels that wearing Christian Louboutins, a luxury French made shoe also known as red bottoms will make you a better competitor in life . The shoes range in price from several hundred to several thousand dollars.

Ms Bryan states

Okay, I’m looking at myself..you know I want to be up there. I want to be compared…I want to surpass. When you elevate in your career, you elevated in your fashion. You have a higher competition.

I don’t have to have a guy go out and get them. When I was able to afford it, I went and I started purchasing them. You don’t have to wear them. If I’m capable of purchasing that and still doing my job, I’m going to do that. If you’re not capable but you still want to be competition, I don’t know what to tell you. You just have to step up your game.

Maino got involved; that’s how it all started. He said the same thing. You know, I can’t take you around events I go to with Beyonce if you got Forever 21 shoes. I can’t do that. Don’t think you’re the baddest thing, what can we do?
That’s where it started. There are so many beautiful women out there but what sets you aside from them?

First I like to compliment Ms. Bryan on purchasing her expensive shoes herself and not waiting on a man to upgrade her. I personally believe that if we desire a certain quality of life it is each person responsibility to do everything (within reason) they can to obtain that lifestyle. However, Ms. Bryan e you lost me at buying insanely expensive things is a way to step up your game and set you apart from other people. Spending a huge percentage of your income on shoes is not stepping up your game, it is showing your level of stupidity and immaturity. I know you are a video girl… but do you own your home… have you invested in your retirement or learned another craft. I’m sure your time as a video girl is very limited and you will need that shoe money in a few years.

Yes it is totally with in reason that Beyonce wears Christian Louboutins … she is worth several million dollars and her future is very secure ……even if she doesn’t sing another note. You on the other hand… not so much. And on another note if a REAL man is truly interested in you and he would like to take you around his rich friends, if he feels the desire for you to look the part then he will purchase you the extravagant clothes if you can’t afford them. That is if he really wants to be with you for you!

Also if you are wondering how stand out in a sea of beautiful women…be yourself! Men respect women that know who they are and are not fake. Don’t break yourself trying to fit someone else image of what is acceptable. You can only hold a pose so long before the real you come out anyway. On another note, I think if you want to be a real actress or model you should shut up and stop giving advice.

A Black History Moment

2011-02-24T14:44:00.002-06:00

News Alert For Colored Folks

Libya and Egypt are in AFRICA! I know the mass media keep referring to them as Middle Eastern countries ….but they are really AFRICAN countries. Yes many African nations are Islamic and not all Africans are dark skinned with swollen bellies waiting on Larry with Feed the Children.

If you have been living under a rock both Egypt and Libya want a government that reflects the people, which will consider their wants their needs. The people of Egypt have overcome their President and now the Vice President will step up as the new leader. Now it is Libya’s turn, however their leader Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi has vowed to fight back until the last bullet. He is willing to kill anyone that is willing to protest his leadership. His family has been in charge for 40 years….Egypt leader was in control for 30 years, I can see how one may grow tired of the same leadership!

Let's pray that God's will be done.

Rest Is Needed

2011-02-22T14:51:00.000-06:00

Hey Family and Friends,

I have been really busy and for the last week or so I have been battling a severe cold. Needless to say I am tired. This month has been really taxing on me mentally and physically. Dealing with family issues has left me emotionally spent and I believe stress caused my immune system to break down which lead to the cold.

I have been pushing forward when all I really want to do is lie down and take a loooooong nap. I need a vacation so bad… but no rest for the weary gotta keep it moving and hope for the best. I’ve had to make a lot of hard decisions that many did not agree with, but sometimes that happens. Try as you might it is impossible to please everybody, everyday, every time. Not to say that I am right all the time…trust me I have made many bad decisions and paid a heavy price for those decisions, some came with a price tag or money, ruined friendships and upset family. However, for the most part I am willing to admit when I have acted in way not fitting of a Queen. But honey when I know I am right I am willing to catch hell to prove my point.

I will start posting regularly next week.

When Mental Illness Come Knocking At Your Door

2011-02-06T12:26:00.002-06:00

Calling people crazy in my family is like saying pass the peas please. It is an epithet used to describe a drunken uncle, the auntie with a bad attitude and the cousin who has to smoke a blunt before family event. We call each other crazy so much that it has lost its meaning. However we have two people in our family that suffer from real mental illnesses and we choose to remain silent and call them crazy under our breath. One of my Aunts has suffered from severe paranoia since I was a little kid. I would ask my Mama why Auntie La always says people are out to get the family and insist that we never talk about her or our family to anyone because it could be harm to all of us. My Mama would take a deep puff off her Kool 100’s and say ……girl you know your Auntie elevator don’t go all the way to top, don’t pay her no attention.

For years my family ignored that my Aunt and her extreme paranoia … almost dismissing it like it was a simple cold. But, we all now just because you ignore a problem it does not go away, in many cases the problem manifest itself into another problem, which is exactly what has happened in my family. One day Auntie La daughter (my cousin) Kaye showed up to my house looking frighten to death. She had been driving for two days straight from Arizona to Missouri she was convinced someone was after her and she was scared to death. After she calmed down enough to get a good sleep I asked her to tell me what happened. She told me she lost her job and suffered many indignities because certain people were trying to destroy her and her reputation. Kaye insisted that I watch what I talk about on the telephone and be careful when I am alone because these people would probably be tapping her family member’s phones and following us around. Honestly I just laughed it off and told her she could stay as long as she needed to.

As she began to tell other family members the story she told me they laughed as well and thought nothing more about it. Well that was over six years ago and cousin Kaye is now suffering from what we believe is schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. My cousin has lost over 10 jobs, 4 apartments, 3 cars, her dignity and pride. She hears voices, feels like needles are sticking her all over her body and feels tormented all day and night. Most of my family has accepted the fact that my cousin needs psychiatric help but others still refuse to believe that she is on the verge of a mental break down. I spoke with Aunt La to ask her to help me get her daughter some help; she told me “ain’t nothing wrong with Kaye, she my daughter I should know.” Given the fact that she suffers from paranoia it is very unlikely that she would see that her daughter has a mental illness. My cousin is living with me again because she lost her apartment and job and the other night she slept with a pot on her head to keep the needles from sticking her in the head. She cries a lot because she hears voices that demean her and tell her that her life will never get better, she told me she feels like the voices want her to commit suicide but she won’t do it.

I spoke with my Uncle and he started to get an injunction to have her committed. Her mother and my other aunts went into a raged filled fit and threaten to get an attorney to block him from having her committed. It really pitted family against family, but I watch my cousin suffer daily from this illness. She doesn’t want to stay with her mother for reasons I do not know, she says she only feel halfway calm with me. But I don’t know what do? I am going to try one last effort to get my cousin to help but I feel like I am running out of options. I don’t want my cousin to hurt herself or anyone else.

My question is why do black people seem to deny metal illness? Why do we look at these sort of things as

Education Segregation Still Exist in the US

2011-01-31T10:26:00.002-06:00

My mother for the most part was a single working mother. In the 80’s daycare was a luxury for my family. With that being the case, my grandfather made sure we got to school safely and returned home from school safely. My mom would wake us up at 5:00am get us ready and drop us off at my grandfather house. At the time we did not live in the best neighborhood and my Mom felt that the school in my granddaddy’s neighborhood was superior to the one in our neighborhood. It was decided that we would use our granddaddy address and go to the better school plus he was responsible for our care while our Mom work. I wonder if my mother would be willing to go to jail for her actions?

An Ohio mother did just that. Kelly Williams-Bolar was jailed for sending her children to a better school in her father’s neighborhood. Williams-Bolar used her father's address, where she alleges she lived part-time. Yet the Copely-Fairlawn School District felt she was lying about being a resident, and hired a private eye to follow her, videotaping Williams-Bolar leaving her public housing home and dropping her children off at the suburban school. They confronted Williams-Bolar, demanded that she repay the district $30,000, saying she didn't have the right to have her daughters in the district since she wasn't a taxpayer.

When she refused, Williams-Bolar was indicted on two felony charges, found guilty and sentenced to 10 days in prison. Because of the felonies on her record, the aspiring schoolteacher will never be able to enter the classroom

As a former educator I can tell you that not all schools are fair. The supports for schools are based on the tax base of the community. The more expensive the homes the higher the personal property tax, a great percentage of personal property tax goes directly to the school district. Of course those communities that suffer from high unemployment/underemployment rates, high crime, low percentage of homeownership, and little to no businesses have a very small tax base. It goes without saying that most of the urban (minority) communities find that there children are being cheated out of a fair education.

These circumstances create vast differences in our educational system. While some of the more affluent neighborhoods have schools with great technical advances, new books, new schools, new equipment, advance math and science classes and wonderfully paid teachers. On the other hand, the lower taxed communities have to deal with such nuisances as dilapidated buildings, out of date books, little to no technology, underpaid teachers, overcrowded schools, lack of educational programs…shall I go on? It is a crime that our educational system is still segregated but instead of being based on race it is based on class. Our children are paying the price with their education.

The “No Child Left Behind” act grants parents the permission to remove their child from a failing school and place them into another school district. However, what the law does not say is the other school doesn’t have to accept the child, in many cases they don’t. Schools don’t want to inherit the problems of the failing school so the parent is really left with no choice.

I believe Williams-Bolar did what she had to do for the betterment of her children. I just hate that her teaching certificate may be on the line because of the court decision to give her a felony. I wish her and her children the best.

Inspiration In Strange Places

2011-01-25T07:24:00.001-06:00

This weekend I was vegging on the couching flipping through my limited number of channels (I don’t have cable). It was Sunday and the only thing on was football. Needless to say I don’t care for sports (but I did pick Green bay to win the Super bowl). I was really getting desperate to find something to watch, nothing was on so I decided to watch this animated movie called Meet the Robinsons. I really wasn’t all that excited and was prepared to fall asleep on the couch but Meet the Robinsons was very……………..inspiring.

I didn’t think I could get inspiration from a cartoon but I did. Meet the Robinsons is about a little boy name Lewis who is a genius and has hope of finding his mother. When he was a baby he was left at an orphanage and he is fixated on finding his mother because he believes she did not mean to give him away. He is also passionate about science and inventing new things. He befriends a boy name Wilber who seems way too cool to be friends with Lewis. Wilbur tells Lewis he is from the future and pushes him to keep following his dreams of becoming a famous inventor.

When Lewis could not get his memory scanner to work he gave up on his invention. He said he was tired of failing and trying so hard only to end up with nothing. Wilber kept insisting that he was from the future and was adamant that Lewis not give up his dream. Finally when Wilber had no other choice but to prove he was from the future he took Lewis in his time machine and took him into the future. In the future Lewis found out that Wilber was really his son, that he was a wonderful rich inventor and that he changed the lives of many people with his inventions. Not only was he rich …..he had a wife and a complete family.

The moral of the story was you have to keep pressing forward in the present because a great future is waiting ahead. Yes there will be times when things look bleak and all hope seems to be gone but giving up is not always the answer. How many decisions you made in your life changed the outcome of your future? I sat on the coaching thinking about how I could make better decisions going forward making a positive impact on my future. Although, I already knew this but sometimes you gotta be reminded….. just because something is hard and does not come natural to you does not mean it is impossible for you to do.

Anyway that is how I got my inspiration last weekend.

Are Our Children Over Sexualized?

2011-01-24T10:52:00.002-06:00

Of course the answer to this question is a resounding HELL YEAH! Our children are getting sexed up from the time they are able to understand. We talk about sex in our music, on videos; with our friends and television all while the children are watching and listening. Kids are talking about sex way earlier than we think they are. To prove my point second graders in Oakland experimented with oral sex.

Two second-graders in an Oakland elementary school shocked the country when they were disciplined for performing oral sex on each other in class with a teacher present. The teacher has been placed on administrative leave during the investigation. Reportedly, some children had taken their clothes off in a separate incident as well.

The events took place at Markham Elementary school, but came to the principal's attention just this week when one of the students told a staff member about the events. Oakland school district spokesman Troy Flint said that the teacher was unaware of the incident.

"We believe the substance of the story is true," said Flint.

Who knew about oral sex at 7 years old….certainly not me? I would be embarrassed, pissed off, and embarrassed again if these were my children. We really need to start protecting our children more by monitoring what get pass their little ears and eyes.

Becareful Who You Take Advise From

2011-01-24T10:47:00.002-06:00

Mary Harvey gives her side of the story....straight no chaser!

Like old people say "there are three sides to a story, his side, her side and the truth".

AZZ Whooping Facebook Style

2011-01-21T10:25:00.001-06:00

GO Uncle.... Team Whoop Azz all the way!

Stupid Stuff People Do

2011-01-14T09:01:00.002-06:00

So party promoters in Columbus, OH decided it was a good idea to throw a light skinned vs. dark skinned party. I am not sure how the winner will be named, what the prize consist of, who the judges will be and what are the rules. However I personally think it is a dumb idea that lacks originality and set the black race of Columbus, OH back 200 years.

Is it really that hard to get people to come out and party in that city? And why did they choose to put women on the flyer. The world (including black men) love to pit black women against one another. In the bigger scheme of things people don’t give a f%!k about the variation of black people skin tone. The only people that act like they really care are……. Black people. The country is damn near broke, unemployment is at 10%, young people are coming home in coffins from war everyday, the housing market is still down, the school system sucks and gas prices are too damn high. People have enough stress in their life, they have plenty of REAL reasons to get their drink on they don’t need a frivolous one.

I just wish people would think out their ideas before they make themselves look like a complete and total idiot. I bet the two “models” on the flyer won’t even be at the party, and I seriously doubt it’s the most anticipated party of the year.

Couldn’t they have saved this bullshit until March? They had to do it the month of MLK birthday?

SMH

DIY’ing It Again

2011-01-11T07:20:00.003-06:00

Okay so I took the tiling class and Home Depot and guess what….. I was the only person that showed up to the class. I was super excited and the ladies that taught the class gave me all their attention and gave a lot of details. They taught me how to use the leveler, how to cut the tile, how to measure properly and how to grout. Those ladies truly knew what they were doing and they were happy to share. I did a few experiments and felt very confidant about tiling my kitchen and bathroom. They sent me to the tiling department to select my new backsplash and there were tons of choices. I began to feel overwhelmed with all my options then I hear…” ma’ am do you need any help? My name is Lori if you do.” I told Lori I liked everything and didn’t know what to get. After about 25 minutes Lori help me finally decide on which tile I would take home. While helping me Lori told me she was an out of work architect and she was working at Home Depot to keep the bills paid. Not only did Lori help me pick out the tiles, she also sketched out the design for me! I felt like Super Woman when I left Home Depot.

I pulled everything off the counters and started to measure the walls. I put my groove music on and next thing you know ya girl is tiling. Three hours goes by and I barely notice it. I take a look at the wall and I give myself a pat on the back and remind myself that GIRLS ROCK!

My cousin comes by and asks who did that? I smile brightly with adhesive all over my arms, shirt and pants and say I did it! She looks at the wall and back at me and refuses to believe it. So she sits at the kitchen table and watches start the other backsplash above the sink. She looks amazed by my new talent. I am still in the process of grouting the tile but it is pretty much finished.

Fixer Upper

2011-01-07T10:06:00.006-06:00

As many of you know I purchased a home in 2009 that has been a virtual money pit. I am in the litigation process with the seller and have spent a many a day upset about things that went wrong with my home. But when it is all said and done the home has everything I was looking for. I love older homes that are filled with great architecture and quality materials.

I like to think of myself as a home decorating guru. I am in the process of completing some minor work on my home and I will be documenting it through my blog. First let me say remodeling and decorating ain’t cheap so don’t expect to see updates too often. But when I am all done the house will be a work of art and simply fabulous.

When I originally purchased the home it came with brand new Berber carpet through out. The realtor kept going on and on about the new carpet but all I can think about was ripping it up to expose the hardwood floors. And that is exactly what I did! It was a process removing all that carpet but it was certainly worth it. I paid about 1400.00 to have the floors refinished and restrained. This spring I will be installing crown molding, some textured wall paper, and chair rails. This weekend I am going to a tiling class at Home Depot. I want to install a backsplash in the kitchen and remove the shower liner in the bathrooms and replace it with tiles. I am going to be a busy lady this spring but I am truly looking forward to it. Give me your opinion on the floor.

Resolve to Make 2011 Better Than 2010

2010-12-31T15:49:00.002-06:00

Can you believe that it is almost 2011.....I cant. The year flew by so fast. Honestly I can't say that I will miss 2010 because a lot of messed of stuff happened to me personally and globally. I am hoping that 2011 brings blessings, hope, peace, prosperity, love, joy, happiness, serenity, life, abundance, patience, sisterhood and brotherhood.

I've noticed that I have become my worst enemy. I complain, I get frustrated, I point fingers and blame people for things that I created. Just this week it dawn on me that I need to be a more thankful for my position in life. I have been in worse situations. Also I need to stop letting people take me off my throne. By that, I mean letting actions of others cause me to act outside my character.

I will be making a great deal of personal and charcter changes in 2011. I want to bring peace and happiness with me where ever I go. I want people to feel good when they are in my presence. But in order to have people feel that way... I too must feel that way.

I wish you and your family I wonderful New Year.

Punk Azz Dems

2010-12-14T11:11:00.000-06:00

So it seems some Democrats are not feeling the proposed tax package between President Obama and the Republicans. The package would extend tax cut to the wealthy, extend unemployment benefits for 13 months and cut of two percentage points in the pay roll tax. In addition, the plan extends current tax breaks for students and lower income Americans, and adjusts the estate taxes in a way that the Dems believe will only benefit the wealthy.

The President has been accused of compromising and not keeping his promise to cut taxes for middle class Americans. Republicans would not agree to keep tax cuts for the middle class while letting the tax cuts for the wealthy expire; it was an all or nothing deal. Not to mention, they were willing to let millions of unemployed American benefits expire, unless they got what they wanted.

Needless to say, the Dems slammed Obama for agreeing to such a deal. I seriously want to slap the shit out of the Dems. So now they wanna act like they got a voice… where the hell was the voice during the mid term elections. The Republicans have been kicking ass and taking names since the mid terms, Dems have been acting like scared little ……ahem…..female dogs.

I am so pissed I am thinking about becoming an independent, because the Dems are weak. The President main concern was for the unemployed… the people who are suffering. Yes, we know that primary concern of the Republicans is the wealthy. Many of their constituents are rich and white, that is their focus and their base. The Dems on the on the other hand are going rogue… they are not giving the Prez the support he needs, nor do they stand unified on any one issue.

Pundits and others say we can’t afford to extend unemployment benefits, but there are many things in the budget that we cant afford and we are not giving those things up. I feel the Prez is doing the best he can, with the scraps he was given. He did not create this recession; he came into office under a recession. How can a man fix something in two years, when it took 8 years to create?

Personally, I do not believe that tax breaks for the wealthy and unemployment benefits should even be discussed in the same sentence, let alone together in a bill. However, if that is what is needed to ensure that millions of Americans are able to feed their families and stay in their homes I stand behind the Prez on this one. There will be a time to fight and when the time comes I believe he will be ready. It is not cool to fight over the lives of people who depend on unemployment

World AIDS Day

2010-12-01T12:11:00.000-06:00

Today is World AIDS day and I feel sad. I feel sad because so many people are suffering from a preventable disease. I remember when AIDS first came on the scene in the early 80’s. I don’t know which was more frightening…. AIDS or the crack epidemic. Both had hit at the same time, initially AIDS was thought to be a white gay mans disease. Needless to say many people in the black community ignored the disease and thought it would never be a problem for them. Fast forward 20 years and AIDS are taking many black lives. With all the medical advances with AIDS people don’t feel scared of AIDS… it’s a “livable” illness. But it is also a preventable illness. I will not lie, there have been times when I was irresponsible with my sexual health. I have had unprotected sex more times than I can count…and if I contracted the disease it would have been MY fault, because in the end each person is responsible for protecting their own bodies. In this era the claps is a thing of the past… penicillin is no longer a cure all. AIDS medication is serious and has some horrible side effects. I know some people that take at least 21 pills a day, some lose their hair, have constant yeast infections, kidney damage and a great deal of toxins in their body due to all the medication. Not to mention that the medication is expensive as hell… insurance only covers a portion of the prescription. My plea to you is to get tested at least once a year. Know your status and protect yourself.

Women Controlling The Purse Strings....Bad For The Relationship

2010-11-19T11:55:00.004-06:00

When I was a little girl in the mid 80’s I remember my Mama singing a song from a perfume commercial. It said…

I can bring home the bacon
Fry it in a pan
And never ever let you forget you’re a man
Cause I’m a WOMAN!

I can rub and scrub this old house til its shining like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car and powder my face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing til 4 am and then
Lay down at 5 jump up at 6 and start all over again
Cause I’m a WOMAN!

Mama would be singing this song as she folded the clothes, vacuumed the floor, and moved the furniture around. This little song made me feel like I could do anything. It sent a little subliminal message to my brain saying you can do it all! Pay the mortgage, wash the car, take out the trash, fix the plumbing, change the tire, breast feed the baby, work 9-10 hour days 6days a week. Hell I watched Mama do it all the time, no need to believe I couldn’t do it too.

As I grew up and watch the women of my family be the breadwinners of their households it became very clear that I would run my household the same way. But I was always open to a man being the breadwinner and my income would be used to make the ends meet. My dating life was pretty normal, most of the men I dated held their own. They were financially independent and never looked for me to provide for them financially. Hell, many of them provided for me when I didn’t have a great deal of money.

Then I came across a man that I cared for very deeply….but he did not have a job. He didn’t have an emergency fund, he barely had a place to live and nothing to really offer me at the time. However, I fell in love with the man and felt that he was just going through a rough time and who was I to be judgmental of situation.

As we dated he would find a job here and there but could never seem to keep the job. Even when he did find employment he only made slightly more than minimum wage. We moved in together but he was never able to contribute to the household. He did not have presentable clothes and he needed so many things. I initially tried to help him and build him up as much as I could but it was getting very tiring.

After awhile he seemed to resent that I had a career and he didn’t. Our sex life came to a screeching halt. Each time he told me he couldn’t contribute or he lost another job my respect for him dwindled. It seemed the harder he looked for a job, the less call backs he would get. I started to resent the fact that he stayed home and I had to go to work. I would come home dead tired and he would want to talk all night.

I started to disrespect him by throwing his unemployment situation up as much as I could. He would disrespect me by calling me everything but the child of God. It got to the point where the house was always filled with tension. I was used to taking care of myself and if I was in a relationship my man would throw out a few dollars here and there.

This “man with no job” situation was foreign to me and after about 2 ½ years of it I started to feel like a hoe and my man was my pimp. I realized that a relationship can’t exist on love alone…….at least not for ME! I want to feel protected, I want to feel secure, and I want to feel like my man would do anything (legal) to hold down our household. I don’t want to be the HNIC when I have a man in the house.

Ultimately, the relationship did not work. But it was mostly wrecked because I could not take living with a man that could not offer me financial stability. Whether we like it or not roles are reversing, women are out earning men. It is causing many divorces, unhappy homes and breakups. Although I am a modern chick, I do expect my man to be the provider and head of the household. I expect him to know his role and accept that it is presumed that he will be making spiritual, financial and other decisions for the household. It’s a big responsibility for a man that is ready to take charge.

Now this in no way means that I wouldn’t hold my man down if we happen to fall on bad times. If I know that the man is a go getter and has proven that he will be my rock the I have no problem swinging my feet out the bed and going to work while he get his affairs in order. However, if you just playing around saying, “the man holding a brother down” and bullshitting around…then you may get left standing in the wind. I often wonder if single mothers have ruined the little girls and the little boys of America. Little girls watch Mama work and hold down the house and little boys get accustomed to Mama going to work and being the provider. The kids get all twisted and boys get their roles confused and so do girls.

What are your thoughts on this?

Rick Ross Suffers From Mutiple Personality Disorder

2010-11-05T09:42:00.004-05:00

think I am big Meech

I think I am Larry Hoover

I’m MC Hammer

They call me Rick Ross...

The pseudo dope dealer, money making whose real name is William Leonard Roberts II think he is every body. I am starting to think that Rick Ross has multi personality problems. He aligns his image with those that were heavy in the dope gain or had great success and try to make us believe he is a representation of that group.

His past employer may remember when he looked like this.

But now he looks like this

He cleans up well doesn’t he?

Freeway Ricky Ross' lawsuit against rapper Rick Ross came to an end following the dismissal of the case.

It appears that the battle between former drug dealer Freeway Ricky Ross and rapper Rick Ross over the name “Rick Ross” may have finally come to a close. AllHipHop.com reports that the lawsuit against Rick Ross was dismissed earlier this week on Monday, November 1.

According to a court document the case was dismissed because the plaintiff, Freeway Ricky Ross, was unable to prove that his name was an actual trademark.

This sucks Fat Ricky basically stole the man life and made millions. Y’all know damn well Fat Ricky ain’t sold no kilograms or bricks. I will bet my life that Fat Ricky can’t spell Noriega let alone met the man. Considering that Fat Ricky keeps jacking other people persona only demonstrates how much a scam rap has become. That fool ain’t nothing more than a studio gansta.

Fortunately for him the new generation of hip hop does not require authenticity. Remember when a person found out Vanilla Ice lived a nice cozy life in the suburbs but was portraying to be a hard core street living thug? He got rejected by his audience as a fake and lost all credibility. Not any more….. since have the country is in sever debt because we pretend to be something we are not….we can now accept mirages like Fat Ricky.

My Voting Dilemma

2010-11-02T11:59:00.001-05:00

I DID vote today. But I must admit it was very problematic. I went to my usual voting place only to find that they no longer vote at that location. I kindly asked the teacher “where can I find the new polling station”, she replied
“I’dontkno”.

So I sit out in my car with my friend and try to use my smart phone to find the new polling place. After playing around on the board of election website I finally find the new place. I only have twenty minutes left to vote, so I run inside the place and give them my identification. I see the man with a strange look on his face. He asks me for my address I quickly recite it. He says I don’t see your name in our book. My friend gives his address; he says we don’t see your name either. They send us over to the inactive voter table and another lady check the inactive voter book and don’t find either of our names.

I start to get slightly agitated. I said “ look I have been voting since I was 18, I recently voted in the 2008 elections and I am a register voter so please find out what the problem is so I can leave and go to work.” So one lady hears the commotion and comes over and says I remember them from last time… let them vote. The lady at the inactive desk thought it was best to call the board of election. At this point I am 15 minutes behind the time I should have left for work.

She gets off the phone and tells me that “the system” is down and no one can verify if I am registered to vote and my friend voting poll is across town. Now he is upset, he says how did my polling place move? The lady says , “they say you live on the north side of town.” He replied, “I’ve never lived on the north side!”

Finally they tell me that I can do a provisional vote and my friend has to go across town to vote. I start breathing all heavy and ask, “Is my vote going to count?” The lady assured me that my vote will be counted once the system is up and they verify I am a registered voter. I begrudgingly filled out the “provisional” voter card. It was just a mess!

But don’t let me experience stop you. GET OUT AND VOTE

It's Getting Hard Out Here!

2010-11-01T16:27:00.001-05:00

FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Armed security guards will be on hand at 36 unemployment offices around Indiana in what a state agency says is a step to improve safety and make branch security more consistent.

No specific incidents prompted the action, Department of Workforce Development spokesman Marc Lotter told The Journal Gazette for a story Wednesday.
Lotter said the agency is merely being cautious with the approach of an early-December deadline when thousands of Indiana residents could see their unemployment benefits end after exhausting the maximum 99 weeks provided through multiple federal extension periods.

"Given the upcoming expiration of the federal extensions and the increased stress on some of the unemployed, we thought added security would provide an extra level of protection for our employees and clients," he said.

The overall cost for the security is $1 million, paid for with federal funds designated for administration of the unemployment system, Lotter said.
State employees in the affected offices have also recently gone through stress-management training in which they learn how to respond appropriately to angry clients, he said.

The Republicans Want Your Vote

2010-10-28T15:53:00.004-05:00

These are the billboards hanging in Houston,Tx. Here is one of the comments on the ragingelephant website.

THIS IS AWESOME!! Keep up the good work guy’s. i am proud of you. i hope you don’t mind, I am a white woman but I stand behind this 100% I am sick and tired of the Left telling the Black Community that they can’t make it on their own, that they need the Gov to do it for them. Why Liberals? Do you find them weak? Do you find them stupid? Or is the fact that they are good people who love Family, God and hard work making you Jealous? I can’t take it any more!! Black people are strong, smart, family loving, God loving, hard working and VERY FUN people. I just wish the Left would STOP taking your pride!! I pray everyday that you rise above the leftist hatered toward the good Black people of America! God bless you all and stay strong!! AWESOME!!

Can They Count On Your Vote?

For Colored Girls

2010-10-28T10:52:00.000-05:00

I had to an opportunity to see the theatrical adaptation of Ntozake Shange choreopoem For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf. I have never read the book and only recently took interest when Tyler Perry started to advertise for his film adaptation of the choreopoem. I was blown away by the play; it tapped in to all of my emotions. I was happy, sad, proud, torn, depressed, regretful and enraged. The play took my emotions on a roller coaster ride. Each charter reminded me of something I may have experienced in my past.

To me the play represented the plight of many women. How sometimes we knowing share a man, how we stay with a man that mistreats us and beat us, how we flaunt the perfectness of relationships in the face of other women and how the scars of rape can debilitate a woman to her core.

I cried and laughed during the play. However, I did leave thinking about all the time I wasted with people who meant me no good. How long I stayed in relationships that were worthless. I wonder how Tyler Perry’s adaptation will stand up to the play. Based on his previous movies I must admit I am a little worried. If he pulls this off he may be asked to direct more movies that he did not write himself. If it is a failure he can count on writing some more Madea movies.

The play was beautiful; I hope the movie is too. Have you ever read the book or seen the play? If so what was your thoughts?

Target and Plus Size

2010-10-28T10:41:00.003-05:00

I was recently emailed a petition to sign. It was petitioning Target to increase the selection of plus sized women clothing. The petition stated the following…

To: Target Corporation
Dear Target,

Each season, you skillfully and beautifully execute exclusive designer collaborations and partnerships with leading fashion designers. As plus size women, we are oft neglected, overlooked and always sized out of your collections.

Why?

We have money to spend as much as our straight sized sisters do. We love to look just as fabulous as the other Fashionistas, yet you neglect to even think of us in the equation. We fawn over the Zac Posen for Target, and strategically finagle through the cuts that could pass on our curves; salaciously we look as each fantastic and highly coveted collaboration passes us along- due to you ignoring our thirst and hunger for fashion.

Why?

Therefore, I, Marie Denee of The Curvy Fashionista, Patrice of Afrobella, and Sarah of Style It Online have come together with our followers and the fa(t)shionistas within the plus size community to request, demand, and call for an inclusion of and/or special designer collaborations for the plus size fa(t)shionistas.
Sincerely,

The Undersigned

Of course I signed the petition because I love Target ……….but the plus size collection sucks! ¾ of the floor is filled with misses and “regular” sized clothes. ¼ of the sales floor is split between maternity and plus sized clothing. Actually it hard to tell the difference between maternity and plus size because they all look hideous. The “regular” sized clothing represents all the latest fashion trends and sometimes they get high end designers to actually design a line. Waymart has a better plus size section than Target. Could it be that increasing plus size clothing options would ruin Target’s branding? We all know they are the priciest big box retail store. Some folks call them Tar΄ jhet (Tarjay) very French and fo-fo store. But I love Target. I love the accessories for my home and the fact that it is always clean, well lit and have the latest trendy stuff. As a matter of fact I have loved Target since I was a little girl. We rarely shopped at Target but when we did I would run around the store saying “I want this, I want that and this too”. Now as an adult I can’t get any good clothes from Target. They tease me as I walk pass the misses section and see skinny jeans, fitted tees, beautiful cardigans, professional work wear and the most beautiful dresses. I walk over to the plus size and I see a bunch moo-moo’s and very unstylish items. Considered there is only 4-5 racks the options are very limited. If you feel the same way please sign the petition.

http://www.petitiononline.com/plus9231/petition.html

Another Beyonce Story

2010-10-21T12:03:00.003-05:00

Yesterday the television and the internet was on fire with rumors about Beyonce being pregnant. US Weekly confirmed it, ABC had some white lady on their saying how surprised and happy the couple was about their baby news. All the black blogs had it posted. Really it was like the next Messiah was in Beyonce’s womb! I just don’t get it, why is the world waiting on this woman and man to procreate? Both of them are rich and decent looking folks but I just don’t get the hoopla, surely Will and Jada did not have the public pushing for pregnancy, Russell and Kimora didn’t have this problem, Alicia and Swizz (okay bad example), I wonder if Ruby Dee and Ossie had this problem. I’m just trying to figure it all out.

Maybe people are infatuated with this couple because they guard their privacy. Some may be looking for any morsel of information. But imagine being Beyonce, it must be very tiring to hear you are pregnant all the damn time. Not to mention the minute you get pregnant people are going to be watching to see just how fat you get and the minute you have the baby people want you to lose all the baby fat. I’m sure her husband wants a baby, but obviously he loves her enough to let her peacefully pursue her career dreams and ambitions and when/if THEY are ready THEY will have a baby.

My heart does out to you Jay and Bey. It must seems be hard to breathe under all the pressures of the people. To have to live up to an illusionary contrived state of being must really suck! Having to be perfect ALL the time, seeming like you never have a bad day or problems. Can’t even enjoy a damn big mac and fries without people assuming you’re knocked up. It seems to be really hard to be considered as super human.

BTW, Beyonce’s Mom confirmed to Ellen DeGeneres that Beyonce is NOT pregnant

On Guard… Attack Is Imminent

2010-10-21T11:04:00.006-05:00

I was reading an article titled Why Do Big Girls Get a Bad Rap? (Big Is Beautiful) over at freshexpress.com. The blogger wanted to know why some men have severe hang ups when it comes to plus size women. Which led me to another article titled “Do Blank Men Prefer their Women Larger?”

Let me be perfectly clear when I say that black women come in all sizes, all shades and all hair types. Truly God broke the mold when he made a black woman. Some of us have creamy white skin, some look like God used a bit of red clay in the design, many of us look like we have golden essence of the sun in our skin, while others look like God put a dash of cinnamon in our complexions, and some of us look like God used the finest, darkest coca bean when he made our skin.

We posse a great deal of strength and beauty yet it is constantly under attack. Our asses are too big , our boobs are too full, our lips were once considered too plump, our hair too kinky and our hips too wide. Imagine being constantly picked apart and told we like the full lips and the big ass. Shit even white women have accepted the lips and ass, just look and Kim Kardashian and Meg Ryan.! The other traits are deemed unacceptable, but not only by the majority, but by some of our own brothers!

Now there is nothing wrong with having preferences… they are simply measures that we use to determine what is attractive. I have preferences and hopefully you do too. However, preference does not mean this feature is better than that feature. It does not give men or women for that matter the right to say skinny is better than fat, long straight hair is better than short kinky hair ….ect. If anything we as black folk should have a broader understanding of beauty because our race is filled with a diverse look.

Check out this wig being sold at Kohls for Halloween. It’s a kinky afro wig named “The Ghetto Fab Wig”. I guess the white woman in the picture seems to think she looks ghetto fabulous! But I see many non-ghetto women rocking their real natural hair in this style. This is just another example of the world saying “This is another thing we don’t like black woman, your nappy afro hair”. It is a subtle subliminal message…but trust me I get it. I never seen a long blonde wig called the “Po White Trash Wig”.

I am so sick and tired of the world telling the black women she is not good enough. I just wanna throw up the middle finger and let them know I am not buying into your lies. You can brainwash whomever you like but you will never brain wash me. Yes I could stand to lose about 40lbs, but for health reasons not to fit inside some model thin dress. My hair is nappily natural and I love it, it’s not ghetto or any other demeaning name you can think of. Real beauty, true beauty is something on the inside, it doesn’t get old, it doesn’t need make up, it doesn’t require name brand shoes or clothing, it is unmistaken ably something divine, something that has been nurtured and purposefully hidden for only the true seekers to find.

Are You Serious?

2010-10-21T09:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday while getting ready for work I was stopped dead in my tracks when the Today show announced a segment about Anita Hill and Justice Clarence Thomas wife Virginia “ Ginny” Thomas. Ginny wanted Anita to apologize for accusing her husband of sexual harassment 19 years ago. I remember the case very well, during that time they were holding senate hearings to vote in Clarence as the new judicial Supreme Court justice.

When vetting a candidate it is not unusual for the FBI to do a complete back ground check on the perspective contender. They speak with past co-workers and other people who can relay professional and personal information about the candidate. Well in Clarence case they stumbled upon Anita and she told them about her experience with Clarence. She was led to believe that her interview would never be made public and this was simply a fact finding mission. However, the senate requested to view all information pertaining to Clarence during his confirmation hearings. Well that is when all hell broke loose.

On the tapes Anita claimed that Clarence sexually harassed her at their place of employment for about 3 years. She referred to specific incidents of Clarence’s behavior, including repeated requests for dates and references to pornographic material. On other occasions she testified he referred to the size of his own penis as being larger than normal and he also spoke on some occasions of the pleasures he had given to women with oral sex. Anita stated she was so stressed out a work, she decided it was better for her mental health to take a job teaching at Oral Roberts University.

Anita was called before the Senate to testify about what happened. I remember watching her on the screen and she looked completely embarrassed most of the time. Meanwhile Clarence simply looked angry, he stated the hearings "a national disgrace...a high-tech lynching for uppity blacks who in any way deign to think for themselves, to do for themselves." I agree that it seemed that the Senate wanted to expose every little nasty detail about his life. It is very rare that the FBI tapes are made public and I am sure a bit of racism was the reason behind it.

Needless to say the Republicans voted Clarence in and he became a Supreme Court Justice and Anita Hill went on with her life. However, many women of all nationalities believed (as I do), that she was telling the truth. In an effort to protect her career decided just to leave her job and keep quiet about the harassment. From that point going forward Clarence had lost all credibility in the black community, he was not considered an ally.

Now 19 years later here comes Ginny (come lately)Thomas calling Anita hill demanding an apology on behalf of her husband. Ginny left a voice message on Anita’s work phone saying…

Good morning, Anita Hill, it's Ginny Thomas,” said the voice. “I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband. So give it some thought and certainly pray about this and come to understand why you did what you did. OK, have a good day.”

When Ginny was asked to confirm if she really left the voice mail she said…

I did place a call to Ms. Hill at her office extending an olive branch to her after all these years, in hopes that we could ultimately get past what happened so long ago. That offer still stands, I would be very happy to meet and talk with her if she would be willing to do the same. Certainly no offense was ever intended.”

Anita responded by saying, “I don’t apologize. I have no intention of apologizing, and I stand by my testimony in 1991.”

Anita kept it classy and gave a simple statement. But Mrs. Ginny I’ma say what Anita wanted to say but couldn’t say. Here it goes…

You extending me an olive branch? I don’t give two rat’s azzes about you! Who the f*ck do you think you are ! I ain’t thought about you in 19 years what the f*ck made you believe that I wanted to befriend you! And further more, b*tch don’t call me that that bullshit. I said what I said and I ain’t changing my story. It ain’t my fault that yo man came on to me. You need to check that nigga…not me. And just so you know… hell naw I ain’t sorry nor will I ever apologize. Hoe you got some nerve calling me talking about a muthaf*cking apology, are you f*cking retarded, crazy, outta yo rabbit as mind! See in a minute you gone make me step off this throne and beat yo azz. So you and yo boot licking, uncle tomming azz husband betta leave me the f*ck alone cuz this the last time I’ma speak to you about this. Next time b*tch it’s yo azz. Now run tell that!

Halloween Is Around the Corner... I have the perfect costume for ya

2010-10-12T16:43:00.003-05:00

INTRODUCING THE BED INTRUDER COSTUME

TOLL FREE: 888-557-5459

(Costume Ships: October 20th)

Obvvioouuusllyyyy, this is the Official Antoine Dodson Costume!
So first hide ya kids, hide ya wife and order it today!

Costume includes:
• Antoine Dodson Custom Hair Wig
• Red Bandana
• Black Tank Top
• Antoine's Autographed rolled up paper

The New Definition of Swagger

2010-10-08T15:06:00.003-05:00

Roland is now selling ascots. He says on his website that this is the new definition of swagger. Honestly Roland, you look kinda of gay-ish in the picture. I am in no way implying that homosexuals do not have swagger, cuz trust me they do! But I think even they would agree that swagger is not the word we will use for you in the picture above. For god sake’s you have a bloom of a flower in your hand, showing all 32 of yo teef, with a come-hither look in yo eyes. Please talk to your advertising folks cuz this pic doesn’t make a grown ass man purchase an ascot nor does it boost up his swagger.

Simply Magnificent

2010-10-08T13:08:00.003-05:00

On my way to sleep last night I heard some fabulous news concerning our Fist Lady Mrs. Michelle Obama. I was drifting off to sleep when the anchor woman said that Michelle Obama had been named by Forbes Magazine as the most influential/powerful woman in the WORLD! It brought a huge smile to my face. I felt very proud and wished I could drop by the white house so I could give her a fist bump.

It made me feel like some one in my family had pushed passed the glass ceiling. Like my big sister had just broken a barrier that left the path wide open for the rest of us. I feel the same way about my other homie Oprah. They both make me want to press harder, go further, reach wider, be uncompromising, and stay the course until I succeed.

I love them both because they are not your typical success story. Both came from blue collar backgrounds and worked hard to succeed in their chosen fields. Neither climbed the letter of success by using their sexuality and both are smart as a whip. Oprah nor Michelle is considered drop dead gorgeous by today’s standards, but they both have a beauty that is so amazing, deep and profound that you can’t help but find them exquisite and admire their loveliness and splendor.

What can I say they are my idols and in my head they are my mentors. I remember interviewing for a job over the phone and I wanted to sound powerful, concise and basically impress the interviewer. I sat down at the kitchen table and put Oprah’s magazine in front of me. I just stared at her cover and said “ Lord if you can do it for her, you can do it for me”. Guess what… I got the job. That is how inspired these women make me feel.

I just want to congratulate First Lady Chelle and say great job. You are a wonderful shining exemplary example of what we all can be if we stay focused and put ourselves in the driver’s seat of our own lives.

35... Are You Serious?

2010-10-04T16:00:00.002-05:00

Do I look like I am about to turn 35! I am having the birthday blues and my birthday is less than two months away. Turning 35 should be a reason to celebrate but I feel old. Part of me is happy to see 35 because so many people don’t get a chance, but the other part of me ask what the hell have you been doing for 35 years. I am not happy with my job, I would like to be on more solid ground financially, I am still working on self esteem issues, and I am always working on losing weight. Basically I am not satisfied with myself and I am always finding some way to improve myself. I wonder if this is a lifetime thing.

On a positive note, I got my Essence magazine a few weeks ago and they listed tips on how to further your career. Normally I would look at these things and think how I could integrate them into my life. This time I just glanced at the tips and grunted. I did not create a list of things to buy, ways to improve or even equate it with my life. For me this is a HUGE accomplishment, I use to always look for ways to reinvent myself like the black successful women in the magazine. Well guess what world…. I am not the frigging woman in the magazine….. I am me. Trust me there is no lack of ambition in my life…however if I am going to succeed it will be because of me, not some stupid tip I got out of a magazine.

By now I thought I would have a husband and a few kids. I have neither; I must admit I want the kids more than the husband. I have not found someone that I want to spend the REST of my life with. I am not ashamed of that, I feel it is better to live happily with yourself than to get tied down with someone you don’t really care for. Better yet someone you are trying to create into a better man for you, this seems to be more of the case for me.

But this 35 thing is so bothersome. Hell I remember being 17, 21 and 25 so vividly. Actually it seemed like yesterday and now I feel like the old lady. Since when did I get so concerned about investments, 401k, life insurance and other old folks things.

Now my body requires sleep and will take it if I don’t give it. Just last week I was up studying later than normal, I got about 3.5 hours of sleep. Mannnnnnn I fell asleep at work. I was looking at the computer and the next thing I know my co-worker was shaking me telling me to wake up before I get in trouble.

Things hurt when I get out of bed. To lessen the hurt I am required to stretch. People get on my nerves so quick, my patience is completely gone. I hate to argue it gives me a headache, but I can not tolerance for disrespect. I have gotten into more arguments in the last few years about men disrespecting women then ever.

Oh by the way when did I become a feminist and practice philanthropy. Your priorities sure change with age, don’t they. I just hope I don’t have the blues on December 5th like I did when I turned 30. I sure hope this is just a passing fad

I Won't Give My Opinion,,,,,,, But What A Difference A Toupee Makes

2010-09-28T16:29:00.004-05:00

Funny As Hell

2010-08-30T15:50:00.003-05:00

Lauren recently performed at Rock The Bells. Celebs and their spouses sat on the side of the stage to check out her set. I swear Chris Rock and Kendu look like Lauren let off a huge nasty wet fart. Their look is classic... it made my day!

Songs That Make My Skin Crawl

2010-08-26T15:45:00.000-05:00

I am shocked by the things that are played on the urban radio stations today. It absolutely alarms me the things that are said or implied in the songs the programmers decide to play. What really pisses me off is they don’t even try to play certain songs during school hours or late at night to avoid the ears of young listeners.

One of the songs on my top hated list right now is Ciera’s new song called Ride. Here are a few of the lyrics.

I can do it big
I can do it long
I can do whenever or however
You want

I can do it up and down
I can do it circles
To him I'm a gymnast
This ring is my circus

I market it so good
They can't wait to try I I I I
Me e e a a
I work it so good
Man, these nigga's
Trying to buy I I I I me

They love they way I ride it (x3)
They love the way I ride the beat
How I ride the beat, I ride it

Just imagine your 8 year old daughter/niece/cousin singing this song. Then ask you what is Ciera riding mommy?

Although the next song is a great song I don’t think it should be played during the hours children are listening to the radio. Neighbors Know My Name.

Soon as we get started makin love goin harder hear a... (knock knock) knocking on the wall,
And as soon as I go deep getting it in then again there's a... (knock knock) knocking on the wall,
Girl your legs keep shakin I swear we breakin our new headboard headboard
And the love we make it feels so good girl you know I'm proud lookin in your lovley face scream my name you do it so loud

I bet the neighbors know my name
Way you screamin scratchin yellin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
They be stressin while we sexin,
I bet the neighbors know my name
My name my name
I bet the neighbors know my name

Again this is adult situations and it I just think it’s too much. I do believe in the first amendment and those artists have a right to create the best music they can. However, the PUBLIC radio station may not be the best place to exhibit some of the racier songs.

Janet Jackson has not had a #1 hit since her nipple made an appearance at Super bowl. We are not allowed to see explicit nudity scenes on public television, why then are we allowed to hear them on the radio.

I guess I am just old fashion in some

Pride Before The Fall

2010-08-23T16:00:00.002-05:00

Michelle Fonville, an overweight woman who went to get a manicure, pedicure and eyebrow arch at Natural Nails in DeKalb, Georgia, was charged $5 extra because of her weight, reports WSBTV.com.

Fonville shares with the news station: "I was humiliated. I almost cried. Tears were forming in my eyes."

She realized the charges after looking over her bill. Fonville says she thought it was a mistake, until the manager told her she was charged $5 because of her weight.

Salon manager Kim Tran told reporter Eric Philips that the surcharge was due to costly repairs of broken chairs by overweight customers, reports WSBTV.com. Tran explained "the chairs have a weight capacity of 200 pounds and cost $2,500 to fix."

Tran says she shared this message with Fonville. "I didn't want to argue with her about $5. I wanted to make her pleased with her service," Tran said. "I whispered ... I said, 'I'm sorry, next time I cannot take you.'"

All I could think when I read this article is……………Are you serious?

This is pure bullsh*t. There would be no way on God’s green earth that I would ever patronize this business again. Then I would have contacted the news and had that business splashed all over the 10 o’clock. Then I would have got some more of my “fat” homies to help me picket the place and had leaflets to their entire customer on the way in advising them of their discriminatory practices. The store was found on essence.com but this need to get out to more people so fat and skinny chicks alike can let this business know how to properly treat their customer’s.

Read more: http://www.essence.com/news/hot_topics_4/nail_salon_charges_extra_for_overweight.php#ixzz0xS8jXDVC

Michelle's Vacation Scandal

2010-08-16T12:41:00.002-05:00

I am running late but I wanted to address an issue concerning our First Lady, Mrs. Obama and her decision to take her daughter Sasha on summer trip to Spain. Before I speak on this issue please read the article below that was printed in the NY Daily News.

From New York Daily News:
Michelle Obama seems more like a modern-day Marie Antoinette – the French queen who spent extravagantly on clothes and jewels without a thought for her subjects’ plight – than an average mother of two … I don’t begrudge anyone rest and relaxation when they work hard. We all need downtime – the First Family included. It’s the extravagance of Michelle Obama’s trip and glitzy destination contrasted with President Obama’s demonization of the rich that smacks of hypocrisy and perpetuates a disconnect between the country and its leaders.

Do you smell that….it seems like someone is preparing a plate of hateration to service the American people. I am sure that the President and his wife are very concerned with the plight of our economic situation. I am certain that they are acutely aware of the financial issues many people in our nation are facing. However, the President and his wife have worked very hard to obtain the financial blessing they enjoy today. Let’s not forget that Lady O was a six figure sistah… out earning her husband for many years of their marriage. This is no run of the mill family that just haphazardly run the presidency. No they are not billionaires but according to their 2009 taxes they are millionaires. Guess what….millionaires take glitzy, expensive and sometimes extravagant vacations. I know I would be sitting in Fiji enjoying some coconut rum and getting a deep tissue massage at this very moment if I was a millionaire. Not to mention that the Obama’s paid for their vacation out of their own pocket. Mrs. Obama took this time to spend with her girlfriends and her girlfriends bought their daughter’s too. I think it’s their money to do what they want to do with it. I don’t see anyone getting upset when Jay-Z and Beyonce travel around the Mediterranean in their yacht or when Warren Buffet decides he wants to spend millions of dollars on purchasing more stock not to mention how many vacations were taken by the previous president. George Busch was the vacation kang (king for you proper folks). In his first 18 months in office, Obama has taken 65 days off. At this point in Bush's first term, he'd taken 120 days off – almost double Obama's total.
Bush was on vacation during the 911 attacks and during Katrina. He did not leave his vacation when Katrina hit N.O.. He also refused to leave his vacation when Palestinians attacked towns in southern Israel in December 2008.

It’s also been stated that the taxpayers had to pay for the secret service to travel with the First Lady and that should not come at the tax payers expense. That’s a joke because all previous presidents have secret service accommodations and I am sure they travel out the country from time to time. Not to mention there is a budget that congress approves for the travel expenses that the POTUS and his family may incur.
I wrote all that to say to all those complaining people, get a life and if you unemployed worry about paying your own damn bills and keep your eyes off of other people’s funds.

Growing Up Too Soon

2010-08-12T14:16:00.003-05:00

I remember going through puberty with both dread and excitement. I was super excited when I started getting hair up under my arms. I would show off that I had hair under my arm pits. My cousins were so jealous that I had hair and they did not. Then my boobs started to develop as strangely as it sounds it didn’t even notice. My dad told my mom that he think it was time I started wearing a bra. Without explanation was wearing a sports bra that flatten my chest even more. Then around 12 I started my cycle and was given a pad and shown what to do and that was it. No one spoke to me about sex, womanhood or pregnancy. Then again I was still playing with dolls and watching cartoons every chance I could get, boys were not even on my radar. It was 1987 and things were quite different then compared to now.

However, scientists are reporting that girls are going through puberty at a much earlier age than the girls before their generation. Nearly half of African-American girls start showing signs of puberty by 8 years old, and some American girls are developing as young as 5, even 4 years old, experts say.

As reported by MSNBC News:

The changes in Kiera’s body scared her parents. Though the 8-year-old seemed her usual chipper self, she’d started to develop headaches and acne. More alarming to her mom, Sharon, were the budding breasts on Kiera’s thin little chest.

“I thought, she’s too young,” remembers the Pittsburgh mom. “She’s still fearful about sleeping by herself. An 8-year-old just isn’t mature enough to handle this.”
For Kiera, whose last name is being withheld to protect her privacy, it was all so embarrassing. None of her friends seemed to be experiencing what she was. When they asked about the acne and her expanding chest, Kiera was evasive. “I didn’t want to tell them what was going on,” says the Pittsburgh girl, now age 9. “So I had to kind of lie to them.”

When Kiera’s parents took their daughter to the doctor, he assured them that nothing was wrong with the girl. Kiera was simply starting puberty early.
As it turns out, puberty at age 7 or 8 isn’t so unusual these days. A new study, published Monday in the journal Pediatrics, shows that more American g
The changes in Kiera’s body scared her parents. Though the 8-year-old seemed her usual chipper self, she’d started to develop headaches and acne. More alarming to her mom, Sharon, were the budding breasts on Kiera’s thin little chest.

“I thought, she’s too young,” remembers the Pittsburgh mom. “She’s still fearful about sleeping by herself. An 8-year-old just isn’t mature enough to handle this.”
For Kiera, whose last name is being withheld to protect her privacy, it was all so embarrassing. None of her friends seemed to be experiencing what she was. When they asked about the acne and her expanding chest, Kiera was evasive. “I didn’t want to tell them what was going on,” says the Pittsburgh girl, now age 9. “So I had to kind of lie to them.”

When Kiera’s parents took their daughter to the doctor, he assured them that nothing was wrong with the girl. Kiera was simply starting puberty early.
Personally I feel the exposure to different chemicals in the air and inside our food has girls to mature faster. Back in the 1700s, girls didn’t start to menstruate till they were 17 or 18, Garibaldi says. That had a lot to do with malnutrition. The assumption is that the steady decline in age since then has to do with more abundant food. Now we are shooting our meats up with hormones and dye, we pollute out air and use dangerous chemicals in household products that would kill if used in larger dosages.

Studies have linked an early start to menstruation with an elevated risk of breast cancer. And other research has shown that girls who go through puberty early tend to have lower self-esteem and a poor body image. They are also more likely to engage in risky behaviors which can result in unplanned pregnancies.

I could not imagine having a daughter and trying to tell her about the changing in her body at the age of 8. I also wonder if this will lead to menopause occurring at a younger age. We all know that women are given a set amount of eggs and the sooner we start using them…the sooner they are gone. I think this is something that must be investigated and taken seriously.

.

Need A Mental Health Day

2010-08-09T15:38:00.001-05:00

Today I am mentally exhausted. My brain is just not connecting with the work. As a matter of fact I feel like I am miles away from work……actually work is the last thing on my mind. I wish I could go back home get in the bed, cover my head and fall into a deep sleep.

I am starting to really detest my job. I really hate saying that because so many people are without jobs and I do not want to sound ungrateful. But I found that it worse to make good money at a job you hate, than making less at a job you love.

It’s crazy when your young you focus solely on the money and as you get older and wiser other things become more important. Today I am struggling liking my job…it’s too easy and I want to use my brain. Don’t worry I am not complaining out loud at the job, and I damn sure not submitting my walking papers. I guess I will just focus on school and chill out until other doors of opportunity swing open.

Today has been one of those crazy days…. my heel broke on my shoe. I needed more “always” and had to stop and Wal-Mart because I only had one in my purse. I wonder if I am just going through hormonal issues our something. Lately I get upset so easily….the slightest thing send me into a fit of rage. Sometimes I have to tell my self “it’s not that serious, calm down”. Not to mention I have been cussing like a sailor.

School is about to start in two weeks and I have to get my mind back in school mode. I guess I am just full of complaints today. I’m sure things will get better soon.

Being A Black Man

2010-08-06T17:29:00.002-05:00

Check out this series about being a black man in America. I thought it was thought provoking an and a good read. Let me know your thoughts

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/interactives/blackmen/blackmen.html

Chase Bank Can Kiss My AZZ

2010-08-04T07:06:00.002-05:00

If you have read this blog for any length of time you would know that I used to be fiscally irresponsible and this lead to my bankruptcy. Bankruptcy was a very hard and very personal decision of me. Trust me I lost a great deal of material things when I decided to file Chapter 13, but it made me a better more responsible adult. I now understand that a person’s credit is tied directly to their character. However, I do understand that things in life do not always go as planned and even if your intentions are to pay the funds back….. if it’s choosing between eating and paying a bill, let’s face it we EATING!

About two years after my bankruptcy Washington Mutual ( WaMu) was nice enough to give me an unsecured credit card with a decent line of credit. I was so happy to have this credit card that I made a promise to myself to always make the payment. WaMu was the first bank to trust me and give me an opportunity to rebuild my credit. A few years later Chase purchased WaMu and they sent me a bunch of literature promising nothing would change.

This year I made a promise to myself to pay off all my credit card to a zero balance and only use one card as needed. I decided to make that card my Travelocity card because it offered air miles, so it is benefits me. I paid the rest of the credit cards off and was feeling really good about building my credit back to an acceptable score. I am also very thankful of the institutions that helped me get over the bankruptcy blues.

So imagine my surprise when I checked my Chase account (which was paid in FULL and has not had a transaction since April) and the credit line had been reduced to $300.00 ! WTF…. I was livid and confused. The account had never had a late payment and I always paid the bill so I was fit to be tied when I saw the line of credit had decreased.

I promptly called the credit card company and was told by a very RUDE “portfolio manager” that because I filed bankruptcy 4 years ago that I did not fit the standard set by Chase. She stated that Experian was showing a negative account on my bureau and between that and my bankruptcy I did not qualify to have such a high credit limit. I nicely explained to her that I got the card after I filed bankruptcy; she said we have different criteria than WaMu. I then told her that I have been faithfully paying this account on time for three years and have proven that I can handle having a substantial credit line. She nastily told me that the decision was final and I could accept the line of credit or close the account. I then said how the hell JP Morgan Chase get a bail out for 25 BILLION dollars from my tax dollars and say that I am not worth a line of credit. Not to mention the bail out was not used to make new loans….but to purchase more companies! I asked her who I could complain to because this was not acceptable to me. She smugly said, “ the decision in final.” I then said what could be done to increase my credit line, she told me to send in a copy of my pay check stub and proceeded to give me a PO Box in Delaware. Really…. Have you ever heard of anyone sending in a copy of a check stub to a credit card company? I then told her that I did not like the way she was speaking to me. She said I am not speaking to you any kind of way. I told her to close my account because I did not have to be mistreated by the person I pay to give me a line of credit and if I was not deserving of a substantial credit line, they were not deserving of my business. She closed the account and ended the call with a “you have a great day”. You know she said it in way like, I hope I ruined your day and this is my way of giving you the final jab before I let you off the phone.

I was more pissed when I hung up the phone. But I decided to calm down and call back. I called back and I reached a person that sounded delightful as soon as she answer the phone. I told her that I had just been treated rudely by one of her co-workers and I wanted the person’s name so I could include it in my complaint to the company. She said she could not give the person name out but would like to hear what happened so she could elevate to a supervisor. I explained the situation and she was apologetic and asked me some questions about my credit and took my gross pay over the PHONE…. in under 15 minutes my line of credit was restored!

It seems that credit can be given and taken at the discretion of company workers……….NOT your FICO score….NOT your payment history. It makes me really wonder what the underlying reasons could be. Yes I know the country is in a credit crunch but then again Black people have always been in a credit crunch.

Statistic show we pay more to borrow money even when our credit scores are comparable to white people. Lending institutions make more money off of selling black people cars, houses, boats and basically anything we finance because 9 times out of 10 the APR is higher.

Now that my credit line is restored…. I have vowed not to use that credit card. Chase should really watch whom they employ to speak with their customers. It’s sad to see people abuse power, especially when that power has such broad repercussions on others

The Cry Heard Around The World

2010-08-03T13:57:00.001-05:00

I’ve finally completed my Chemistry class only to find out that I got a D in the class. Trust me when I tell you I cried like a new born baby when I found out that I had a D. I worked so hard in that class that it felt like I was giving it my call and I deserved at least a C. But honestly I could not remember and regurgitate all the things I learned when it came time for the test. There were times when I would literally have brain freeze. Most of my summer was spent at work, class, and studying. I haven’t attended a chemistry class since 1991, I don’t know what the hell made me think I could take an accelerated chemistry class and pass! I guess I was overconfident, but I really thought I could do it.

Tests were every Tuesday and we covered 2-3 chapters a day. So the test could easily cover 8 chapters and went on for 6 weeks. My problem was I never had time to really let the stuff sink in my brain. The class was Mon-Thurs, 6:00pm-9:20pm and because the class was only 6 weeks the teacher could not spend a great deal of time finely explaining every concept. I tried I really did. But a D was all I could muster.

I cried and even thought about reconsidering going back to school, heck I do have a master’s degree in Human Resources! I called myself dumb, stupid, comprehension smart and conceptually illiterate! Yes I beat myself up.

Then it happened………..God intervened. I went to do some job shadowing at a water treatment facility and was introduced “by chance” to the environmental compliance manager was introduced to me. We chatted pretty easily and I told him I was interested in becoming a civil engineer with an emphasis in environmental sciences. His face lit up and he told me he just finished up his master’s degree with that exact degree. Then I told him about the D situation and how I was starting to question if that was the path for me. He said, “Don’t sweat it……the classes are very hard, and I was no straight A student myself.” He admitted that he really struggled with it because he had no experience with science but he got through it and eventually began to understand it. And as a matter of fact he would be teaching chemistry at one of the junior colleges next year.

He made me feel…normal. I did not feel so stupid anymore, not all scientists were geniuses! With a little patience, studying and non accelerated pace I had a chance at success. So needless to say I will be back in chemistry this fall.

Staying Strong For Granny

2010-07-19T11:19:00.000-05:00

My grandmother had a stroke recently and it really has left me in a daze. It seems like I am having a hard time accepting that she is getting older, weaker and more dependant on her children and grandchildren. My grandmother never seemed to age….she is 78 and still does not have one wrinkle! Not even crow’s feet under her eyes. In my eyes she has always been strong, sassy, independent and a fierce fighter for her family.

My Granny does not believe in letting grass grow under her feet. She still worked full time until she had her stroke. She said retirement was not for her…old folks retire and activity was good for the body and brain. So as long as she felt up to it her children (as if they had any say) continued to let her work.

Granny is a country woman born in Yazoo, Mississippi did not believe in going to the doctor. Shoot I’ve seen my grandma “cure” ailments a million times. Got a cold, granny can take some lemon, herbs, cognac and other ingredients and make some “cough syrup” we called a hot toddie. Man… that toddie had you feeling better in within a matter of hours. I’ll never forget the time she “cured” my cousin Lil Mike of asthma! Lil Mike kept having asthma attacks and she was tired of seeing those doctors push large does of medicines and steroids on her great- grandbaby. She called down to Yazoo, got the recipe from her Auntie and she was giving Lil Mike her version of a breathing treatment. It has been years since Lil Mike (who is not so little any more)

But now that Granny is sick who can “cure” the effects of her strokes. Could it be the doctors at the hospital, the pharmaceutical companies, the rehabilitation therapist or her magic herbs and potions? I’m not really sure but I am praying that we find a way to get her back to her old self as soon as possible.

Having to watch my Granny try to talk with slurred speech was heart breaking. It was painful to ask her to repeat herself so many time before my brain finally picked up on what she was trying to say. Her speech pattern is very abnormal and it frustrates her that people have to lean in close to her and really concentrate on what she is trying to say. It has gotten to the point that Granny does not like to talk because she hates that her family and friends can’t always understand what she is trying to say.

I was asked by the nurse if I would like to feed my Granny lunch! The nurse had so much enthusiasm in her voice when she asked me that question, but to be it was just another sign that my Granny was losing more of her independency. Part of me wanted to say no….my Granny is capable of feeding herself she is not a damn baby. But then I looked at her in the bed looking frailer and weaker than I’ve ever seen her in my life and gave the nurse a faint smile while nodding yes.

Shortly after her meal Granny feel asleep and I just kept looking at her praying and hoping that this was not the beginning of the end. I know that if my Granny does not get better anytime soon she will stop fighting for her recovery, she detest being an invalid that much. She is used to being the caretaker not the ill person.

But as difficult as it is to watch her deal with her health problems, I consider it an honor to feed her and help her through these trying moments. I am just having a hard time dealing with the fact that she may not ever be as strong as she used to be.

No Rest For The Weary

2010-07-08T16:33:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to take a moment and say hey. Whew my life seems like a complete whirlwind right now. So many things to do and so little time. Like tomorrow I am taking a day off of work….but don’t get too excited because I for sure won’t be vacationing.

Lets see…. the grass needs to be cut in the front and back of the house. The weeds need to be pulled up along the fence and all that 4th of July trash need to picked up from in front of the house. Not that I popped any fire works or had a cook out at me house…but magically all the fireworks end up in front of my house.

Then I have to study for a test and a final! I cant tell you the last time I watched television. My day is jammed packed and if I could add a few extra hours to the day I most definitely would.

I few things have been going on in STL that has me scratching my head. There seems to be a war between the thugs and the police. Police have been getting shot and thugs have been getting killed, and the police cant always tell the difference between thugs and regular black men.

Seems like every time I get to hear the news the police have killed somebody or somebody tried to kill the police!

Then there is the VA clinic that could have possible infected over a thousand veterans to HIV and Hepatitis . These fools were hand washing their dental equipment instead of placing them inside the mandated cleaning devices. I am sure that there will be a class action suit regarding this foolery. I hope the person in charge gets fired and they person who thought they were doing their job hand washing the tools, they need to get fired too.

So I will post again really soon, until then stay prayerful and safe

2.54cm=1inch

2010-06-18T14:55:00.002-05:00

OMG I’ve started school and I must tell you it’s HARD!! Yeah I knew it would be hard but I thought I would slide into the groove of school my taking Fundamentals of Chemistry (FOC). FOC is a 6 week course and man is there a lot to learn in 6 weeks.

I am determined to pass this class even if it is by the skin of my teeth. I really want this engineering degree and know that it will take every brain cell I have to accomplish this goal. Please keep me in your prayers, cause I am going to need it. I am studying like a fool and it takes me longer to get it than some of my classmates.. but I eventually get it. Man sometimes I feel like I've been smoking ganja all my life, because my memory is crappy. Then again I have not used my brain in this capacity for a few years. I just gotta know th cob webbs off my brain.

Jill Scott and Maxwell Concert Review

2010-06-03T15:57:00.002-05:00

If you have been reading this blog for any length of time you would know that Jill Scott is one of my closest friends (in my head). Last Saturday Jill and Maxwell graced the city of STL with their great presence. It was a absolutely fabulous show. I enjoyed myself and could not stay in my seat.

The ticket prices were 150.00 for floor seats, 85.00 the next level, 65.00 a little higher up, 45.00 for the slightly elevated seats, and 35.00 for the nose bleed seats.

Guy Torrey opened the show with a lil comedy. He was only on for 15 minutes and I was still looking for my seat and missed him completed. But he got a few laughs from the concert goers so I guess he was acceptable.

After Torrey exited stage right, the stage hands began to set up the stage for Jilly from Philly. Finally her stage was revealed and a REAL band began to play. Jill’s band is called Fat Back Taffy and it is baaaaaaaad! There were horns, guitars, pianos, shadow dancers and background singers. The crowd was on the edge of their seats waiting for Ms. Scott to hit the stage.

Finally Jill came out rocking her fro, oversized glasses, silver sequenced mini dress and silver liquid leggings and wedged heels. Jill took the audience on a journey of emotions; she took us back 10 years ago to her 1st album to her newest stuff. She then showed off the range of her vocal skills by doing a wee bit of opera-ish type sounds. It definitely left me feeling like her voice was an instrument and she was capable tackling the upper ranges.

Babyyyyyy Jill let the STL have it! She had some shadow dancers that left the men (and some women) with their mouths agape and she sang sweet melodies that had people grooving.

Then came Maxwell. First let me start by saying I am not a Maxwell fan. It’s not like I don’t like him, it’s just I never go into his music. But he has awesome showmanship. He elicited audience participation and the ladies were throwing panties at him all night. I soon realized that I did like a few of those Maxwell cuts.

Max had an awesome band too. He had on one of them “skinny” suits and was rocking the stage. Needless to say I was there primarily for Jill, but I thoroughly enjoyed Maxwell as well. He did his thang.

If you get an opportunity to see these two in concert………….GO! I give this event 4 out of 5 stars. Pure showmanship and great quality. If you’re mature enough to remember the Budweiser Superfest then you would love this concert experience.

Sex and the City 2 Review

2010-06-02T12:52:00.002-05:00

Last Thursday night my homie Alicia and I went to see Sex and the City 2. It was truly an event and we had a great time. We decided to go to the best theater in STL…..The Moolah. The Moolah has stadium seating and comfy leather love seats and a bar! It also boast the largest screen in the metropolitan area. Needless to say, we had a few cocktails and popcorn and sat back to watch the movie.

In case you’re wondering my fave Sex and the City chick is Miranda. This character reminds me so much of myself. Miranda over thinks everything, very independent and attempts to use logic at all times.

Sex in the City 1 was better than 2, but if you are a cult follower you will absolutely love them both. I wont spoil it for those of you that haven’t seen it yet, but there were some key points that stood out.

1. Miranda and Charlotte coming to the conclusion that being a Mom is not the end all be all of a woman. Both women felt like being a Mom was great….but it was not enough. Miranda quit her job to spend more time with her son and quickly realized that she missed working. Charlotte felt like being a Mom left no time for herself, and she really wanted her me time back. I would probably feel the same way if I were a mother. Being a mother is not the complete sum of every woman. Some of us want our careers, our hobbies, our “me” time and just time to unwind. Mothers should not be made to feel like they are less than a great caregiver because they still want to enjoy their lives and go after their dreams.

2. Carrie and Big decided that they needed time away from each other to keep their marriage healthy. They agreed to spend two days a week away from each other so they can keep the relationship fresh and new. These two days would give Carrie time to hang out with her friends, write her book, shop, stay up late, and do the things she used to do when she was single (outside of cheating). It also have Big time to watch all the television he liked, and all the ESPN and black and white movies he could stand. He could lay on the coach all day in his boxers and smoke as many cigars as he liked. Although this may sound crazy to some, this was what they needed to make it work. Why do we always have to go the conventional traditional way……even when it does not work! What about doing what work for the people in the marriage. Who’s marriage is it anyway and who says that people have to follow tradition?

I give Sex in the City 3.5 stars out of five. This is worth seeing.

I'm Just Saying

2010-05-20T15:52:00.006-05:00

Is it me or does Beyonce look a little pale in the photo on the top. This photo was taken yesterday of her at the Obama’s state dinner. I cant tell you when the other photo was taken. Look likes she called Sammy Sosa and borrowed some of the moisturizer. It makes me think of that quote by Audre Lorde’s, “The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.”

I’m just saying………..

Please Don’t Test….. That Teacher’s Gansta

2010-05-20T14:00:00.000-05:00

I know you have probably seen the video of the teacher Sherri Davis whooping the ass of her student Isaiah Regan. When I saw the video I could tell that the teacher had snapped and had enough of this particular student’s bullshit. Davis appeared on Good Morning America and stated that the day had been "utter chaos." Just moments before the incident where she beat student Isaiah Reagan on video, she had to break up a fight in the hallway between a 16-year-old boy and a 13-year-old girl. She said that people there are not protecting the students or the staff at the school. Ms. Davis said that while her adrenaline was still building from stopping the student fight in the hallway, she heard the door to the classroom slam shut and the door lock. A white girl who was a special needs student who had just enrolled in the school was in the room, surrounded by mostly African-American male students who were "mimicking her." Isaiah Reagins, who she says has assaulted teachers and other students, "was bouncing around in a threatening, bullying position."

Obviously lil Isaiah has been a problem for sometime and still had not learned that school is not a place to act a fool. You may ask yourself how can a teacher go from being teacher of the year (twice) to beating the hell out of one of her students? Well let me answer that for you ….. bad ass kids with poor excuses for parents. If you think your job gets on your nerves try going into the classroom. Oh teaching is not how it use to be when kids respected grown folks and at the threat of calling the parents and/or grandparents was enough to make a child break down into a soggy pile of tears.

I hate to say it…… but we are witnessing what happens when crack babies have children. Yessssss……most of the children causing problems today grandmothers are/were crack heads in the 80’s. Of course this is just my opinion but I really believe that it is true.

I used to be a long term substitute teacher and I had to lay hand on a student too! I remember it like it was yesterday. My student name was Charles and he was very short and little for his age (14). Charles also had sickle cell but he was mad as a muth%$#@!!. One afternoon Charles clowned and talked and gave me the blues so when the end of day bell rang I told Charles he was to stay seated until he could be quiet for a full five minutes. The other children left to catch their buses and Charles was instructed to stay in seat and be quiet. Charles said, “If I miss my bus, it’s gonna be all your fault.” I told Charles every time he spoke his five minutes would start over again, so if he missed the bus it would be his fault. I got up from my desk and stood in front of the door. Needless to say Charles kept talking and I refused to let him leave. At some point he starting cussing and talking about what he was going to do if missed his bus. Then out of no where Charles picked up a desk and threw it at me.

I lost it on his ass! I grabbed that lil muth%$#@!!. by his throat and pushed him against the wall and lifted him off the ground by this throat. I told him, “Let’s get one damn thing clear here….. I ain’t the one to play with and if you ever attempt to hurt me again I will make you wish you ever laid eyes on me. Little did I know the principle saw the entire episode and calmly asked me to release the child. I let him go and he ran out the room. The principle left and went on about his business.

But I tell you what….. Charles was one of my best students after that. I never had a problem out of him again and guess what………he passed my class. We joked, smiled and continued on like what happen that afternoon never took place. Teachers I people too and if tested they make open a can of whoop ass on ya.

Many teachers are put in the position to be security. They have to protect kids from bullies as well as protect themselves. Schools with hundreds of students often have very little security …if any. It gets frustrating constantly trying to deal with behavioral issues and not doing what you were hired and educated to do…..TEACH! The government and states are trying to hold the teachers responsible for the children lack of learning…..but what about all the behavior and external issues that find their way into the classroom and must be dealt with before learning can take place. Now Isaiah mama is filing a law suit against the school and Ms. Davis. My question is…….where the hell was his mama when he was acting a plum damn fool! What was she doing to address her child behavioral issues? Had she ever sought professional help for her child, was there discipline in the home?

Please don’t judge Ms. Davis too hard. I’m sure she regrets ever placing her hand on that child, regardless how bad he was he is still a child. But, if she is to remember he is still a child he needs to remember that she is still an adult. We all make bad judgment calls and decisions in our life. I just hope that Ms. Davis can recover from this professionally and financially. I also hope that Isaiah understands that his behavior was inappropriate and his mother addresses h

Illinois sheriff using food stamps to track fugitives

2010-05-12T18:11:00.001-05:00

CHICAGO -- Fugitives in Cook County are learning that there really is no such thing as a free lunch.

More than 100 people wanted for crimes ranging from kidnapping to marijuana possession were arrested late last month after police tracked their food stamp applications, Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart said Monday.

When people are arrested, they often give authorities addresses that turn out to be vacant lots or abandoned buildings _ but they're more honest when they want food stamps.

"We were able to clear a lot of people off of our wanted list and at the same time get them off of the public dole," Dart said while announcing that 168 fugitives had been arrested during the investigation, most through food stamp tracking. Many applicants had listed their real addresses.

The investigation dubbed "Operation Talon" included Dart's office, the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the U.S. Marshals Service's Great Lakes Regional Fugitive Task Force.

The key was the roster of food stamp recipients contained in the USDA's computers.

After giving the USDA a list of 41,000 people who having arrest warrants pending in Cook County, the agency's computer spit out between 700 and 800 names.

"By working together with them we were able to take data that we normally don't have," said Dart, adding that it's illegal for fugitives to collect food stamps.

It isn't the first time Dart has used creative tactics. His office once lured fugitives to an "event" with a promise of free Super Bowl tickets.

While tracking food stamps, investigators found addresses for people across Cook County, some wanted for violations as minor as failing to appear in traffic court. Some were sound asleep, and none gave police any trouble, authorities said.

"We know where they're at because they're actually collecting checks at those addresses," Dart said.

Some arrests led to other arrests and the seizure of weapons, cocaine, marijuana and ecstasy in the homes they were searching, authorities said.

Among those arrested was a Chicago woman accused of aggravated kidnapping for allegedly locking a woman in a room, wrapping her belt around the woman's neck and forcing her to crawl until she gave her $300 in September 2008.

Other arrests included a Chicago man wanted for allegedly beating a man with his shoe, and a woman accused in January of scratching her name and a man's name into "The Bean," the huge stainless steel sculpture at Millennium Park.

Dart said it's unclear how much food stamp money was going to fugitives, but said some people arrested during the recent sting were wanted on charges from two years ago.

Finding A New Church Home

2010-04-28T17:45:00.000-05:00

In 2008 when I returned to St Louis I rejoined my old church. I did everything that I did not do the first time I joined. I attended all the new membership classes and even got re-baptized. My guy loved the church and I enjoyed the church too. One of the reasons that I enjoyed the church so much was the pastor. The pastor was great; he seemed in tune with the struggles of his congregation and was very relatable. At first, I was going pretty regularly. I was going to bible study and Sunday service….then things changed.

My guy kept asking me to go back and I just really did not want to go. People would ask me what was wrong and I could not put my finger on it. In addition to feeling a little put off by the church, my relationship with God was slipping as well. We all know that this could’ve been a combustible combination. I spoke with a few people about how I was feeling about my relationship with God and how I was worried that I could not feel his presence as strong as I once did.

People kept telling to go to church, but I did not feel that attending church was the answer. It took awhile but finally I started to feel my connection with God grow stronger. I then was faced with the task of going back to church. However, I did not want to go to the church I joined. I visited a few churches but still did not feel compelled to go back to my home church.

It has been well over a year since I been back to my home church and just the other day it hit me like a ton of bricks why I did not want to go back. I literally just got an answer this weekend and I finally feel like a burden as been lifted from my shoulders.

The reason I felt so strongly about not attending was related to the people in the church. Again, I absolutely love the pastor and believe that he is a God sent….. but many others are not ( to me that is). I remember when I first started going to that church I was tore up on the inside. I was spiritually dead and desperately needed reviving. I am an extremely private person and did not feel comfortable sharing my problems with the ministers at the church. I would pray every time I entered the church that someone could see into my spirit and pray for me, touch me, hold my hand …something. My brother and nephew had died and I was suicidal…but no one knew it. I just prayed that someone would see my pain. Needless to say no one ever noticed me or my pain. But I survived.

I’ve since grown a little wiser and had the opportunity to attend other churches. When I lived in Cali I attended a multi-racial church and loved it. It was wonderful seeing different races praise God with one voice and being treated like a sister in Christ by everyone was a feeling I’ll never forget.

There were ministries to fit every need a person could have, and there were many ministries to my personal need. I joined a small group of women (no more than 8 women) and we did a series of bible studies. These women were from all income levels and racial backgrounds. They prayed for me and allowed me to vent if I wanted. I never felt like I was a traitor of God because my faith was not always as strong and I did not always stay on path. But I always knew if I kept coming I would eventually get the spiritual feeding I needed. The leader of the group even gave me her number in case I need to talk to her over the phone or I just wanted someone to pray with.

When I came home to STL I went back to my old church. I was familiar with a few members and I always loved the pastor so it was a no brainer. However, this time I felt that the word was flat. There was a great deal of story telling and a lil bit of word and yall know when the devil is on the back of your heels you need some word….stories won’t due!

I wasn’t spiritually broken this time but it still felt like some (not all) the arm bearers of the church did not have spiritual eyes. I just did not feel connected to the church anymore. I kept going and each time I could not wait to get out of the building. I just not sure what I am going to do at this point, but I really desire to settle back into the groove of going to church to get fed and worship with other believers.

I don’t know if I’ve just evolved or if I need to just move on and pray for the best.

Pressing My Way Through

2010-04-28T16:09:00.000-05:00

Hey Friends and Family,

Yesterday I was in one of those fucked up moods. I tried to fight it all day, but the urge to slap the shit out of someone just keep coming up to the surface. I admit it I am a woman filled with contradictions one minute I can be cussing and the next minute you may catch me in the corner with my eyes closed saying a lil prayer. I’ve tried to change but what can I say…it is what it is.

Anyhow this urge to slap the shit outta someone started last Saturday. Man it rained like cats and dogs and the tornado horns when off and directed everyone to go to the basement. I went to the basement as directed and once I felt it was safe I came back up to find that water was leaking from the light fixtures of my home.

My pisstivity level went up a notch or two. Let me refresh y’all memory, the seller of my home told me I had a new roof and all the supporting documents I have on the home says the roof is new. Long story short I filed a claim to sue the seller. Once she realized that I was in the process of suing her she decided to call me. This heifer begged me to work it outside the courtroom. Me….being the nice, considerate, compassionate and down to earth sistah that I am was cool with handling this issue like grown women. Home girl kept saying she was getting estimates and that someone would call me. Then she would say that she would have some one over to deliver the bid to me so I can go over it. I would press her more then she would say that the contractor would start on the house next week. Well that bullshit when on for over a month. Once the court date went by I never heard from that heifer again.

See when some people look at me or speak to me they think I am one polished and refined lady. What they don’t know is underneath that sophistication is straight hood! I’m like Colt 45…..Don’t let the smooth taste fool ya!

I decided that I needed to take care of my roof and handle old girl later. Needless to say I will be short a few grand so I can get my roof replaced. For her sake I hope she don’t think this is over, if anything this is just the beginning. I am done talking and playing Mrs. Nice Girl, the gloves are coming off.

Today I feel a little better but not by much. Then the job situation is getting on my last nerve. The entire department is sitting around looking at each other all day wondering when something is going to go down. But, the boss is still saying everything is going to be okay and no job losses will occur, work should start to pick up next week. So until then I guess I have to keep sharing natural hair tips with my co-workers and surfing the internet for gossip.

My life seems so complicated right now… I am just trying to stay focus and concentrate only on the things I can fix. I try to ignore the rest but it is extremely hard to do. This is one of those times I need to remember the serenity prayer and it keep pushing.

African American Genocide.....So They Say

2010-04-21T17:53:00.000-05:00

Have you every heard of the term “Womb Lynching”…..me either until I ran across the National Pro Black Life Union insist Planned Parenthood (PP). Apparently this group feels that PP is committing genocide against black people by offering abortion services.

They complain that PP provides a disproportionate amount of abortions to black women. African Americans make up only 14 percent of the U.S. population, we account for a staggering 59 percent of abortions. For PP that means while Blacks make up 25 percent of their clientele, they account for 47 percent of abortions performed through their clinic.

It is noted that many of the PP clinics are located in predominately low income neighborhoods and offers grants to women who can not afford to pay the full price of abortions.

The history of PP with African Americans is a pretty bad one. The founder of PP is Margaret Sanger. She came up with the idea for the “Negro Project” in the late 1930’s. She believed that, by convincing Black people to limit the size of their families, they would prevent the Black population’s numbers from overwhelming those of the white population. And so began an effort to prevent Black women from getting pregnant by birth control, sterilization and abortion.
Let me first start by saying I am pro-choice. It is my belief that the government should stay out of a woman’s bedroom and not involve themselves with decisions women make about their bodies. The choice is between that woman and God.

I often visited PP as a teen. I was provided with birth control pills and a well woman’s exam for a very, very small fee. I never felt pressured to take birth control pills and they always made me feel like I was doing the right thing. I felt like I was in the drivers’ seat making decisions about my body and being responsible about my sexual behavior. There was no other place like PP in my neighborhood and I was trying to stay out of the abortion line so I felt that birth control pills were the best option.

Let’s face it; many women that have abortions are not in a position to have a baby. We can’t complain about high taxes and welfare moms with one voice and want to outlaw abortion at the same time. And to be real honest some of these women don’t need to be nobody’s mama. I have never had an abortion, but I know many women that had to make that choice. Some are haunted by the decision, but most have gotten over it and gone on with their lives. Having an abortion is one of the hardest decisions that a woman has to make. And trust me it affects every last woman that has to lie on that table and hear the whirl of that machine. It is unfortunate that some women use abortion like a form of birth control by getting several abortions throughout their life…….but again, their body, their choice.
Yes, it is sad that PP started with such a horrible objective in mind. However, women of all colors have a choice and if 47% of their black clientele is choosing their services then so be it.

If you ask me we should be focusing on why the women are choosing abortion as an option instead of why PP is providing the service. No one is taking about the dead beat dads, the high cost of daycare, the failing school systems, the fact that black women get paid less than other ethnicities for doing the same job. All these reasons (and more) make some women hightail it to the abortion clinic.

News: Confessed Assassin Of Malcolm X Granted Parole

2010-04-16T15:48:00.002-05:00

Thomas Hagan has been held since moments after shots rang out in the Audubon Ballroom in 1965. He has been on work release for more than two decades, but he still spends two days a week locked up at the Lincoln Correctional Facility on West 110th Street in Manhattan.
On March 3, however, on his 17th try, Mr. Hagan was granted parole, the State Division of Parole said. His final release date is tentatively scheduled for April 28. The news was reported Thursday on The Village Voice’s Runnin’ Scared blog.
Mr. Hagan, who turned 69 in jail on Tuesday, was a militant member of the Nation of Islam on Feb. 21, 1965, when Malcolm X was shot while giving a speech at the Audubon, in Washington Heights. Mr. Hagan, then known as Talmadge X. Hayer, was captured by the crowd and shot at and beaten before being rescued by the police.
Two other men, Muhammad Abdul Aziz (then known as Norman 3X Butler) and Kahlil Islam (then Thomas 15X Johnson), were also charged with the murder. They maintained their innocence. Mr. Hagan did not, testifying at his trial in 1966 that he was responsible for the murder and that his co-defendants were innocent.
All 3 men were sentenced to 20 to life. For Hagan apparently, his time is done- his debt to society has been paid- has it?

Mr. Hagan, who earned a master’s degree while in prison, according to a 2008 profile in The New York Post, was placed on work release in 1988. In 2008, he was spending his free days with his wife and children in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, and working in a fast food restaurant.
“I’ve been incarcerated for 40 years, and I’ve had a good record all around,” he told The Post. “I don’t see any reason for holding me.”
He…doesn’t see a reason?! How about the fact that he murdered Malcolm X?

********** Disclaimer: This post was jacked from the NY Times and Fresh Express.

Change Is The Only Thing That Is Constant

2010-04-16T13:39:00.000-05:00

My life is headed in so many directions I don’t know what to do. It’s funny that as I get older, I get more controlling. If I had it my way I could be in control of every aspect of my life. But who am I kidding………. I simply do not have the power to control everything that directly affects me.

My job is becoming a major issue in my life. My department was told in late February that our job duties were being reassigned. However, we were told not worry because there would be no loss in jobs. My co-workers and I were reassured that we would be given other duties and we could rest assured that our jobs were not in jeopardy. I was asked to write the training manual the employees that would be taking over my department. My other co-workers created other training materials to assist with the transition of work. The transition took affect on Monday, April 5, 2010. That week my department helped with any questions and hiccups that came along. Although we were pissed off, we plastered smiles on our face and threw ourselves into the transition. Once the transition was completed our phones stop ringing, emails stopped coming in, and work pretty much dried up. The “new” project that we were promised never came in. Now it is April 16, 2010 and this is the second week of total boredom at the job. Imagine coming into work and doing absolutely nothing, searching the gossip sites, taking on the phone with family and friends and talking to your co-workers. It’s cool for the first 2-3 days then after that it’s like WTF. My co-workers and I are now afraid that something negative my happen. Who wants an entire department coming to work and twiddling their thumbs? We are afraid of for our jobs, my boss assures me that there will be no loss of jobs. Is this supposed to make me feel secure?

I start school in June and I am looking forward to it. But I did not realize what a hassle it is to register. My God I wanted to scream in the advising office. I added my name it the list to see an advisor and it took forever! Once an Advisor called my name she wanted to discuss my issue while standing up in the front lobby. The lady seemed really rushed and never invited me back to her office. I told her that I needed her to override something in the system so I can register for Chemistry. She told me she would enroll me in the class and would print me out a schedule. She went into her office and came back with a schedule for me. I took it and went on about my merry way. Chile…. I was almost home, while waiting at the stop light my excitement about school got the best of me and I looked at my schedule with a feeling of pride. Then I noticed that I was enrolled in the wrong class, my blood pressure shot through the roof! This lady was in such a rush that she placed me in the wrong class. The next day I called the school with fire in my voice; thankfully a wonderful lady was able to calm me down and was very helpful.

I decided that I was not comfortable with the rates of pregnancy with IVF, so I would like to adopt. This can be a tedious process and a long process too, but this is something that I am willing to endure. I’ve selected an agency and have begun the process. I figure if it’s God’s will it will all work out.

When I was in high school I had my life planned out.

By age 25 have a masters degree…………… Check
By age 26 own a home……………………….Check
By age 30 own my own consulting business……….Fail
By age 32 get married……………………………….Fail
By age 33 me and my husband will have a combined income of over 1mil………..Epic Fail
By age 34 have a baby……………………………….Fail
By age 40 own several rental properties……………………..Jury Still Out
By age 50 retire and purchase the newest Jaguar………………………………………………..Based on current economic situation this may be a fail too

I recall hearing nothing is constant in life except change. Well guess what y’all, life has taught me to be very flexible. Life can come at you hard and fast but its best just to keep prayerful and keep it moving. Change what you can and accept what you can’t

Who Needs Cable?

2010-04-14T14:03:00.001-05:00

A lot of people are surprised when I tell them I only have one television and I don’t have cable. I have never understood why people feel the need to have a television in every room in their house. Do you really need to fry your chicken and watch television at the same time?

I also feel that the cable company prices are too high…. and personally I can not afford them. In most cases you need HD, broad band and the good movie and sports channels, this will run you about 120.00-150.00 per month. I am at work at least 40 hours a week plus the 45 minutes it takes me to get back and forth. Needless, to say I spend more time at work than I do at home so I can not financially justify spending money on cable.

Now back in the day when the rates were affordable and I actually looked forward to the shows coming on HBO ( Def Comedy Jam) things were fine. But now days they show the same thing over and over and over again. I do use Netflix for times when there is absolutely nothing to be found on regular television. But honestly I do not miss cable, I thought I would but I do not. Trust me………there is some great shows that come on regular television. But I am not the only one giving up on cable.

According to an article on yahoo.com thousand are cutting the cable cord

Nearly 800,000 households in the U.S. have "cut the cord," dumping their cable, satellite, or telco TV providers (such as AT&T U-verse or Verizon FiOS) and turning instead to Web-based videos (like Hulu), downloadable shows (iTunes), by-mail subscription services (Netflix), or even good ol' over-the-air antennas for their favorite shows, according to the report.

Now, as TechCrunch points out, the estimated 800,000 cord cutters represent less than 1 percent of the 100 million U.S. households (give or take) currently subscribing to a cable/satellite/telco TV carrier, so it's not like we're talking a mass exodus here. But by the end of 2011, the report guesstimates, the number of cord-cutting households in the U.S. will double to about 1.6 million, and if the trend continues, well...

Even more trouble for the big carriers is the report's assertion that U.S. TV watchers are getting a taste for online video, with an estimated 17 percent of the U.S. TV audience watching at least one or two shows online in a given week last year, up from just 12 percent in 2008, and set to rise to 21 percent this year.

Calling All Nice White Couples: My Neighborhood Needs You

2010-04-14T14:00:00.002-05:00

This summer is going to a mess, I can feel it. Well St. Louis is no stranger to violence but every summer I hope that peace will come. So far, peace is absent and the ruckus is about to start. Two weeks ago a lovely white couple rented the home next door to me. I made sure I met the wife and took the time to introduce myself. The wife seemed happy with the home and said she was accustomed to living in an urban area. I was just happy to have a nice couple living next door to me. Things were going well and the neighbors seemed to be happy with the surroundings, then it happened. Three nights after they moved in there was gun fire. I am not sure if someone got hit or not, but I am certain that I heard 5-6 gun shots. I immediately called the police and prayed that the neighbors would not be discouraged by the idiots in the neighborhood.

Unfortunately, the couple next door was unable to hang, they moved out the next week. I was so upset, the losers won. The neighborhood lost two productive citizens to the threat of violence. I knew that I was not moving to suburbia when I decided to move in the city, but I do not want to live among gang violence and shoot outs. I plan to do everything I can to curb the violence and keep the police on the block. I live in a very racially mixed area and we all seem to get along, but we can not allow a few assholes to ruin our neighborhoods.

Last week there was a car parked in front of my house. The first day I was okay with it and went on about my business. Then the second day I came home the same car was parked outside and I started to get a bit agitated. The third day a car was parked in front of my home I was totally pissed. I called the police and told them that a car with expired temporary tags had been sitting in front of my home for three days. Next thing I knew the car had been towed…..much to my delight.

We have to start fighting for our neighborhoods instead of moving away all the time. The reason the suburbs are so nice is because they do not tolerate things that make the neighborhood appeal and value go down. Why can’t it be that way in the city too?

It’s sad to say but I need a few more white people in my neighborhood. It seems like when they come in the mayor notice and suddenly it feels like magic pixie dust has been sprinkled on the streets. You’ll start to see more police patrolling the area, littering will come to a complete halt, loiters will no longer be tolerated and bad tenants will not be able to renew their leases. The best part would be the rise in my property value. I need to find a few more white folks to move on my street ASAP.

Failure Does Not Look Good On Me 2

2010-04-08T17:11:00.000-05:00

I admit my attendance was not the greatest but when I was in history classes I always shinned. One day I came to history class after missing several days and there was a quiz. Although I did not study and did not know we had a quiz I passed the quiz with flying colors. The teacher pulled a friend of mine (who happened to be an honor roll student) and told her that if she let me cheat off her paper again that he would give her an F. She started panicking with tears in her eyes saying she did not give me the answers. Contrary to her pleas he did not believe her and told her if I continued to succeed he would not pass her. So to challenge him I asked to be moved to the front of the class near his desk to prove to him that I was not cheating. My junior year I was in another history class that bored me to death. I would take my daily naps in this class because the teacher had a speech impediment and it was hard to listen to him talk. One day he woke me up from my nap and asked me “What year did the civil war start?” I sleepily responded, “1861, dang is that all you woke me up for?” I plopped my head down and went back to sleep. I never had another problem with that teacher again.

Finally in my senior year the board of education decided to combine our school with another school to save money. Although we were in a new building and a few new teachers, the separatist education continued. My advisor suggested that I join the military because she highly doubted that I would be accepted into any college with my low grade point average. I wanted to spit in that heifers face, instead I just looked her in the eye and said, “No thank you, I will be attending college.” I went to college and obtained my degree but I was scared of failure. I was ruled by this fear and it caused me to pick a major that I knew that I could easily pass. Business classes were easy to me and did not require me to use a great deal of brain power. So without little thought I choose business administration as my major. No I did not get all straight A’s but I did well enough to walk across the stage. Shortly after getting my BA I decided that I wanted a master’s degree. I started out wanting a degree in procurement, this proved to be more challenging than I initially thought. I got scared that I would fail and changed my major to human resources. Again ruled by fear, I made a decision that was not based on logic and good thinking. But guess what… I passed all my classes and obtained another degree.

While I am happy that I was able to go against what some people thought of me and obtain two degrees, most of the time the degrees feel worthless. It did not feel like a major accomplishment. I guess anything done in ignorance and fear will produce less than desirable results.

Although I appreciate my job and I am fairly compensated I want something that is more challenging. I want something that requires me to use brain power and to really think. Going back to school was not an easy decision for me, but a necessary one. After careful thought and consideration I decided I wanted to be a civil engineer. I know that it requires a lot of math and science but I am putting fear aside and trying something that requires me to think!

This time I am saying to myself ‘No more doubt, no more just getting by, you can do it”.

I read a quote by Rachel Carson that said:

“The road we have long been traveling is deceptively easy, a smooth superhighway on which we progress with great speed, but at its end lies disaster. The other fork of the road / the one less traveled / offers our last, our only chance to reach a destination that assures preservation.”

This is the way I feel about what I am trying to accomplish. It will certainly be hard, but it will be a well fought victory and the prize will be sweet.

I just want to take a moment and say fight for your children education. Make sure that the staff is giving them a equal shot at success. If you find that your child is not getting the education they deserve make your thoughts known and keep raising hell until someone listens.

Failure Does Not Look Good On Me 1

2010-04-08T17:08:00.000-05:00

This summer I start school, I will be taking my pre-engineering classes in hopes of one day becoming a civil engineer. This is my 3rd time going back to school, but this time is different. This time it feels like a challenge, this time I know I will have to fight tooth and nail to accomplish this goal. Although I have a master’s degree, this degree will mean more to me than the first two.

Let me explain. I did not do exceptionally well in high school. I did enough to pass and get by, but I certainly did not win any accolades for being a great student. I accepted D’s, was happy with a C, excited with a B, elated with an A, but the A’s were few and far between. I lived with my aunt and she worked a lot and did not really focus too much on me academically. As long as I went to school and did not become pregnant she thought I was a wonderful kid, talk about low expectations.

Then there was the school I attended, it focused solely on academics. The name of my high school was Center for Management, Law and Public Policy. The school focused on grooming the managers, lawyers and politicians of the future. The school was small….very small, we had about 500 students. There was little to no pressure to fit in, the teachers and administration knew all the students personally and all the students were expected to go to college.

Of course it is very rare that 100% of students at any given school would get into college, but that was the expectation. If students did not show a high aptitude in learning they were left behind. The tutoring programs were directed at students that were at risk losing their 4.0-3.0 grade point average. Yes tutoring was only for the smart kids; you had to have a high enough GPA to qualify for tutoring! Although we did not offer special education classes if students GPA dropped below a 3.0, they were placed in “slower paced” classes. I was placed in two “slower paced/less intense” classes, the first was Civics and the second was English. I loved both teachers, Ms. Smith and Ms Parker were both awesome teachers, they made their students feel wanted and often offered great advise. However, they did not demand much from me. I was able to talk as much as I wanted and lectures were short and to the point. The work was easy and required only that you could read with comprehension. Needless to say I did not feel challenged but I was passing.

I spent two years of my four year high school years going to summer school. Because I did not qualify for tutoring I had to go to summer school for the classes that I did not pass. All of my high school friends were honor roll students and were treated like royalty by the teachers. Me…..I was accepted but looked down on. I always excelled in history due to my love for reading. This was my secret passion I loved history and loved to read anything that kept my attention. I could excel in history without trying.

My Infertility Dilemma

2010-04-08T17:07:00.001-05:00

My struggle with infertility as been a quite struggle. At times I’m aggravated and upset with my inability to naturally conceive. There are times when I feel alone and like a leper. Women were placed on this earth to be fruitful…..right? When I initially found out I was infertile I felt robbed. I felt like my choice had been made for me and I no say so about it. I felt I had all the time in the world to think about starting a family, until I was told that I could not have children the traditional way. Initially I was ashamed; I did not want people to know. I had accomplished so much yet I could not do this basic thing. My crack head cousin has birth 7 children and I can have one! It was very traumatic and I refused to believe it was true. By the time the third doctor informed me that I was unable to conceive naturally, I had no choice but to believe it was true. I joined support groups, cried for days and felt like staying in bed all day. Then like decided the world was not gonna end because I could not have a baby. I picked myself up and decided to keep pushing. Aint no point in crying over spilled milk.

And honestly, there are times that I am thankful that I do not have any children. I love to travel, I love to jump up and leave when I get ready, I love to spend money on frivolous things and at times I can be pretty selfish. I am pretty sure these are not favorable motherly traits.

I don’t concentrate on my inability to have children very much, but every time I hear that some one is pregnant it reminds me I am unable to bear children. I often wonder who will take care of me when I am older. Will I be an old lady with a million cats? LOL. Seriously… I doubt it!

The word no is a foreign concept to me. I am the type of person that looks for answers. If no answers can be found… then so be it, but you won’t be able to say I did not try. Currently I am looking into in vitro fertilization (IVF) or adoption. My sister agreed to be a surrogate for me if I needed it and two of my girlfriends agreed to give me eggs. What love my sister and friends must have for me to help me have a baby! I am carefully considering IFV, but the cost is no joke. It takes some serious dough to have a test tube baby.

The average IVF cost is $12,000, but it can be as much as $15,000. It may be as low as $10,000, but it’s rarely lower than that. These prices are for one cycle of IVF. The prices are enough to make me scratch me head and ask myself is this something you really want. I am amazed that the procedure is so costly and 99.9% is not covered by my insurance company.

I’ve decided to get as much information as I can and to speak to as many good doctors that will give me their time and pray on it. I’ve been a firm believer of what will be….will be. This is an issue that I must consult with God. He has to give me the go ahead, because without his blessing this could be a big waste of time and money. And let’s face it baby or no baby a sistah needs all the money she can get…for real.

Right now I am purely just seeking information. I am trying to understand if I really want kids, or do I want kids because I can not have kids. I am young right now and at times I feel that children are not necessary but what about when I am old, will I regret that I never made an attempt to have children? I don’t know the answer to that question just yet.

Poor Body Image or Pure Bullshit...You Decide

2010-04-06T18:22:00.004-05:00

I am a magazine freak. Beauty magazines, design magazines, financial magazines and career magazines are all piled up in my bathroom. Regardless of the magazine type there are always advertisements that tell women what they can do or use to improve/enhance our beauty. The models are beautiful and flawless, their hair looks healthy and shiny, not an once of fat on their body and their skin is poreless like pure silk. Yes we know most of the models are digitally enhanced and the advertisers are selling us a dream….but we want to look like the lady in the picture. Look what Kimora is selling… slim, sexy, and beautiful after birthing three babies. Oh yeah, she is hocking her new fragrance, but I barley notice the perfume bottle, all I see is her long hair and perfect skin. We all know that Kimora is a knock out without air brushing, but why did she feel compelled to present her audience with a fake body image. What about the young women that desire to look like the Kimora on the magazine…never mind that Kimora doesn’t even look like that in real life. What is wrong with promoting realness and accepting the fact that we all come in different sizes? There is nothing wrong with promoting healthiness and proper body image, but sadly this is not the case. Advertisers ,Hollywood and fashion designers want to sell us an unattainable dream, armed with airbrushing , photoshop and suggestions of diets. They believe our self esteem is so low and we are so stupid that we would believe that a bottle perfume would make us look/feel like the photo shopped Kimora. I can’t help it this aggravates me.

The statics show that the average size of the American women is a size 14 and weighs 162.9 lbs. Since I have gained a few pounds I no longer can shop in my favorite stores like The Limited, The Loft, Ann Taylor, White House/Black Market, H&M, Victoria Secret, BeBe, J. Crew, Hollister, Banana Republic, Express and The Gap. I would also like to include Macy’s and Dillards in this list because when you do find clothes that fit a larger frame, it is not fashionable, full of sparkles and look like a HAM. People I wear a size 16 and finding clothes in these store that fit me is damn near mission impossible. If you are over a size 10 (as a woman) you are damn near invisible to the fashion world and beauty world. Of course there are stores that cater to women size 14+, but there are only a small number and do all the plus size women in the USA want to shop at the same 5 stores? Did you know that Wal-Mart is the number one seller of plus size clothing, outside of internet sites? There are a few sites dedicated to plus size women but lets face it, we want to be able to touch and feel the merchandise before we purchase it.

I want to ask designers whom I love like Tracy Reese, Isaac Mizrahi, Donna Karan, Stella McCartney, Marc Jacobs, Vera Wang, and Diane von Furstenberg why don’t you make designs for women over the size of 14. Isn’t our money green like the skinny girls, aren’t we worthy of great design styles and great fashion? Although the market is ripe for plus sizes many designers feel that producing a plus size line will cheapen their brand. Despite the possibility for making tons of money, designers seem to fill as if women past a size 14 (really size 10) is unworthy to rock their clothes. Prada designer Miuccia Prada stated that she would not sell clothes over a size 10. In 2009 Karl Lagerfeld was quoted as saying “What I designed was fashion for slender and slim people," he said. And in an interview in the March 2009 issue of Harper's Bazaar, he sniffed, "The body has to be impeccable . . . if it's not, buy small sizes and less food." The perception in the fashion industry is that full figured women have less disposable income and are less concerned with new styles and trends.

Because some design houses fail to recognize the beauty and profit in the plus size industry is not reason for a full figured girl to look a mess. If they don’t want our money….cool. I just hope that someone sees the need and create a trendy and dynamic plus size line. In the mean time I would like to recommend Rachel Pally for plus size ladies. Pally's full-figured collection is one of the top-selling vendors for Nordstrom. Another great place to find wonderful plus size clothing is Kiyonna, this brand is find mostly online. Old Navy has a nice selection of plus size online. Target plus size section is ify but if you find something it’s usually nice. Then of course you have the good ole stand bys….Torrid, Lane Bryant and Ashley Stewart. My personal choice is to find a tailor, a great pattern with luxurious fabrics and have pieces made to fit my body.

Prayer Warriors

2010-04-06T18:20:00.000-05:00

I was reading a story at washingtonpost.com and it was a write up about the prayer warriors at Refreshing Spring Church of God in Christ in Riverdale New York. These prayer warriors prepare for service by coming to church two hours before the congregants and pray that the spirit of the Lord abides and the church. They pray before morning services, and during the week they pray on behalf of those in need, excusing themselves to a quiet room at their jobs, gathering around hospital beds, or bowing heads on a conference call. If you are unfamiliar with the term or concept of a prayer warrior imagine someone who is going into battle. That is also true of prayer warriors, except their weapons are prayers not weapons. We are also called intercessory prayers because they pray to God for others. Have you ever felt a nudge in your spirit to pray for another person or a complete stranger? There are times when I pray I see the faces of people I know and I am led to pray for them. How wonderful God must be to have his people praying you those of us who need it.

My intention was not to make this a churchy but a spiritual post. To me prayer is simply communicating with God spirit to spirit. It’s solving problems and addressing issues spiritually. It can be like salve on a painful sore. There is nothing more beautiful and unselfish than to pray on behalf of another person, to put your own wants and needs aside and go to the Father on behalf of another person. I believe God has millions of prayer warriors and you never know when he has assigned one to pray specifically for you.

Thankfully I am past the stage of feeling like I have to be a saint devoid of sin to pray for others. I can’t count the times God has grabbed me in the spiritual collar and told me that regardless of my stage in life his love for me was boundless, immeasurable, infallible, justified, impenetrable by other forces, uninfluenced, pure and the highest form of love one could be blessed enough to obtain. So even if I am knee deep in trouble or sin I still feel confidant enough to pray for other people. And yes……….I believe God hears my prayer.

Now back to our regular scheduled programming.

Post Racial American My AZZ

2010-03-25T17:56:00.000-05:00

Ex-Ladue police chief: City made me stop blacks

The Associated Press

Thursday, March 25, 2010 | 10:43 a.m.

A lawsuit filed by the former police chief of the posh St. Louis suburb of Ladue claims he was pressured to pull over blacks and set ticket quotas for out-of-towners, but be lenient with the town's residents, even those who drove drunk.

When he refused to go along, he was fired, Larry White said. His suit filed Monday in St. Louis County Circuit Court seeks unspecified damages. It names the city, Mayor Irene Holmes and members of the city council.

Holmes declined comment. Her assistant, Mike Wooldridge, speaking on behalf of the city, said Ladue denies any wrongdoing and believes White's firing was justified.

"We feel confident that we acted appropriately and in the city's best interest," Wooldridge said.

Ladue is among the wealthiest communities in the Midwest. The town of 8,500 residents 10 miles west of St. Louis had a median household income of $161,613 in 2008. That's the most of any town of more than 1,000 residents in Missouri. About 96 percent of Ladue residents are white, and about 1 percent are black.

The city hired White as police chief in 2007. His suit said soon after his hiring, Holmes encouraged him to pull over "those people" and pull them from their cars "so that others would see what was going on and avoid the city of Ladue." White understood "those people" to be blacks who were driving through the city.

But White said he refused to go along. The lawsuit cited racial profiling statistics showing the percentage of black drivers who were stopped, searched and arrested declined under his leadership of the police department.

The suit said that after White eliminated his predecessor's ticket quota system, Holmes told him she wanted a lot of traffic tickets written _ but not against Ladue residents.

White said Holmes also pressured him to vigorously enforce driving while intoxicated laws, except against Ladue residents. The suit said White was told that in the past, Ladue police did not arrest residents suspected of DWI but instead took them home.

White was fired in August.

His attorney, Chet Pleban, did not respond to a phone message seeking comment.

Get A Clue

2010-03-24T16:15:00.001-05:00

I was over at necolebitchie.com and I was reading a recent interview by Lisa Raye aka Diamond from Players Club. Here is what Ms. Raye had to say for herself and her choice of men:

“My whole life has been a fairytale. Every man that I have ever dated has always been powerful, had money and been generous to me. He (Michael Musicik) was just the next in line. It was like this is how I am supposed to treated. My father was my first introduction to power. I am attracted to power. So when people always ask me why you always date a man with money, why in the hell wouldn’t I? I have my own lifestyle, it’s like, I’m not going for less than what I have. If I can’t be spoiled because he is not that generous, loving and caring, I don’t want you. Go to the next one. I can wait. I don’t know what it is not to be pampered and spoiled. I don’t even want to try it. That’s like saying to me, I’ma be broke. What do you mean? What? No. That don’t work for me. That’s not an option for me. I’ve never been that.”

The more I read, the more knots appeared in my stomach. This seemed wrong on so many levels, where do I start? Well first let me say there is nothing wrong with expecting YOUR man to support you. So that we are clear lets define support.

Support= To uphold by aid or countenance; to aid; to help; to back up; as, to support a friend or a party; to support the present administration

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man aiding his woman financially. However, unless otherwise stated, I feel that no man is indebted to a woman to be her sole financial care taker. In this modern day and age we should be able to take care of ourselves. I understand once you obtain a certain level of living and a higher financial bracket your crowd may change. No one lives in Bel-Air and goes to Compton looking for their soul mate, at least not on purpose.

But expecting your mate to be rich and powerful may leave a very limited amount of men at your disposal. This mentality has contributed to the profound lonely black woman syndrome. Today Black women are more likely to have a college degree, decent paying job and many other wonderful accolades than her male counterpart. However, it seems like we all are chasing the same group of wealthy powerful brothers. Could this be the reason that the rich and power men have their prime choice of women and women wait their turn to be with these men? Is this the reason that we are hearing so many married rich and powerful men are involved in extramarital affairs with several women?

Men are not stupid creatures. No one wants to feel used or looked at as an open check book. Most men are attracted to women that can fully support themselves. Independence is a sign of confidence and control.

If we only limit our search for love to the rich and power we might miss the man that posses the characteristics that money can’t buy.

History Making Health Reform

2010-03-22T16:08:00.003-05:00

It looks like our Prez pulled out the big guns and got those fools in Congress to pass a bill that will reform our health care system. It baffled me that people that made at least 5-6 figures a year would deny health insurance to people who are living pay check to pay check. I am sure it is easy to scrutinize, procrastinate and simply shit on your fellow Americans when you are millionaire but try living week to week on a small paycheck and rent take up 65% of your take home pay and making simply enough to take care of your daily needs. When I say daily needs that means food, water, shelter and clothing.

I know some Republicans are quite salty behind this landmark decision but *****in my best Sam Cook voice…it’s been a looooooong, long time coming, but I know change gone come…Oh yes it will*****

Now there are somethings that I do not agree with in the bill, like in 2014, everyone must purchase health insurance or face a $695 annual fine. There are some exceptions for low-income people.

Here are the highlights of the bill

Cost:
• $940 billion over ten years.

Deficit:
• Would reduce the deficit by $143 billion over the first ten years. That is an updated CBO estimate. Their first preliminary estimate said it would reduce the deficit by $130 billion over ten years. Would reduce the deficit by $1.2 billion dollars in the second ten years.

Coverage:
• Would expand coverage to 32 million Americans who are currently uninsured.
Health Insurance Exchanges:
• The uninsured and self-employed would be able to purchase insurance through state-based exchanges with subsidies available to individuals and families with income between the 133 percent and 400 percent of poverty level.
• Separate exchanges would be created for small businesses to purchase coverage -- effective 2014.

• Funding available to states to establish exchanges within one year of enactment and until January 1, 2015.
Subsidies:

• Individuals and families who make between 100 percent - 400 percent of the Federal Poverty Level (FPL) and want to purchase their own health insurance on an exchange are eligible for subsidies. They cannot be eligible for Medicare, Medicaid and cannot be covered by an employer. Eligible buyers receive premium credits and there is a cap for how much they have to contribute to their premiums on a sliding scale.
Federal Poverty Level for family of four is $22,050

Paying for the Plan:
• Medicare Payroll tax on investment income -- Starting in 2012, the Medicare Payroll Tax will be expanded to include unearned income. That will be a 3.8 percent tax on investment income for families making more than $250,000 per year ($200,000 for individuals).

• Excise Tax -- Beginning in 2018, insurance companies will pay a 40 percent excise tax on so-called "Cadillac" high-end insurance plans worth over $27,500 for families ($10,200 for individuals). Dental and vision plans are exempt and will not be counted in the total cost of a family's plan.

• Tanning Tax -- 10 percent excise tax on indoor tanning services.
Medicare:
• Closes the Medicare prescription drug "donut hole" by 2020. Seniors who hit the donut hole by 2010 will receive a $250 rebate.

• Beginning in 2011, seniors in the gap will receive a 50 percent discount on brand name drugs. The bill also includes $500 billion in Medicare cuts over the next decade.
Medicaid:

• Expands Medicaid to include 133 percent of federal poverty level which is $29,327 for a family of four.

• Requires states to expand Medicaid to include childless adults starting in 2014.
• Federal Government pays 100 percent of costs for covering newly eligible individuals through 2016.

• Illegal immigrants are not eligible for Medicaid.
Insurance Reforms:

• Six months after enactment, insurance companies could no longer denying children coverage based on a preexisting condition.

• Starting in 2014, insurance companies cannot deny coverage to anyone with preexisting conditions.

• Insurance companies must allow children to stay on their parent's insurance plans until their 26th birthday.
Abortion:

• The bill segregates private insurance premium funds from taxpayer funds. Individuals would have to pay for abortion coverage by making two separate payments, private funds would have to be kept in a separate account from federal and taxpayer funds.

• No health care plan would be required to offer abortion coverage. States could pass legislation choosing to opt out of offering abortion coverage through the exchange.
**Separately, anti-abortion Democrats worked out language with the White House on an executive order that would state that no federal funds can be used to pay for abortions except in the case of rape, incest or health of the mother.
Individual Mandate:

• In 2014, everyone must purchase health insurance or face a $695 annual fine. There are some exceptions for low-income people.
Employer Mandate:

• Technically, there is no employer mandate. Employers with more than 50 employees must provide health insurance or pay a fine of $2000 per worker each year if any worker receives federal subsidies to purchase health insurance. Fines applied to entire number of employees minus some allowances.
Immigration:

• Illegal immigrants will not be allowed to buy health insurance in the exchanges -- even if they pay completely with their own money.

2010-03-17T16:22:00.001-05:00

Hey friends and fam,

Sorry for the delay in post but life has been coming at me full force! It has been raining like crazy here in the Midwest and guess what…………..MY ROOF IS LEAKING! Yes you read it right…my damn roof is leaking and I am seething with anger. I have not been in the house a year and my roof is leaking. When I purchased my home I was told that I had a new roof…before you ask yes I got the home inspected and every document I have on the home indicates that I have a new roof.

Well I asked a roofer to go on top of the roof and what do you know he comes down saying I NEED a new roof and he snapped a few pics for proof. Well of course I did not believe him so I called two more roofing companies and they both say “you need a new roof”. Oh by the way a new roof is about 5,000.00 to 8,000.00. My eyes popped out my mf’ing head.

I felt just like 50 cent when he said..................

I got the sickest vendetta when it come to the chedda
And if you play with my paper, you gotta meet my berretta

Chile there was all kind of neck rolling, tongue popping, eyes rolling and hand on hip action when I contacted my realtor. After several attempts of trying to contact the buyer and getting no response…what did you think a sistah did?

You damn right marched my ass straight to the civil court to file me a good ole law suite. I could not wait to hand the clerk my petition and 125.00 filing fee. I was on a mission and ready to take the entire real estate system down! Last weekend was nothing but rain so I had to pay 245.00 to have tarps placed on the roof. Ya know yo girl was ready to go straight hood. That was my damn electric bill money…aint nobody got an extra 245.00 just laying around looking for something to do. So after I spend 245.00 on the tarp and 125.00 on the filing fee here comes the buyer talking about working something out.

Oh now the bish can return a call! Are you freaking kidding me? I will keep y’all posted but if this chick try to play me, I swear I will be posting to this site from St. Louis City Medium Correction Center AKA The Justice Center AKA The Jerk House.

Keep me in your prayers.

Peace, Love and Light

Who Cares?

2010-02-10T15:09:00.001-06:00

I admit it …. I read gossip blogs daily. And lately one issue has my panties in a bunch. Please tell me why people care so much that Reggie Bush is dating Kim Kardashian? Why do so many black women have a problem with the choice REGGIE has made? There were even reports that Essence magazine received backlash for having Reggie on the cover of their February (black love) issue. Some people felt that since he did not date a black woman he was in no position to be on the cover promoting black love. Even Reggie’s jump-offs are non-black, and guess what……….I don’t give a damn.

And sistah neither should you. First and foremost we all have preferences. Me, I like mine with broad shoulders, bald, goatee, and chocolate. Brother man may like his from other ethnicities and that is cool too. Who wants someone that does not want them? If black women feel that he only dates “others” then why would we even give him the time of the day? Why get pissed off about something you can not control? Do you boo. *Rocko song Imma do me is playing in my head**

Yes, we know that Kim is not squeaky clean and has an unscrupulous past. But she is human and prone to mistakes. Would Reggie date a black woman who had sex tapes that were being sold on the internet.............probably not.

I know some people would go so far as to say he doesn’t think black women are good enough. Well I can’t say what he thinks because I don’t know him personally. But in my opinion his thoughts does not have enough power to dictate the state of an entire race of women. Not to mention, if Kimmy makes Reggie happy then he deserves to be happy.

Let’s not base the values in ourselves on the thoughts of one jock. He is doing what makes him happy; I suggest you do the same.

So I’m going to file this issue under, I don’t give a damn!

Images From Haiti Continue to Stir Controversy

2010-02-08T18:47:00.002-06:00

"I'd like to draw your attention to a photo that ran with an NYT story from Haiti. In my opinion, it's a beautiful shot of a mother who's given birth," a reader wrote Journal-isms.

"But it's also remarkable because you'd never see its like from a place such as Austin or Des Moines or Boston if a white woman were on the table. This photo feeds the debate over whether major newspaper editors at the Times and the Washington Post are willing to publish pictures of death and nudity where black foreigners are involved.

"I've never seen a photo like this in a family newspaper. I'd be willing to bet that if this quake had hit Armenia, Bosnia or any predominantly white nation this picture would not have run. And it begs the question of whether there's a racial double standard at play here."

The question of the graphic images from Haiti continues to be controversial. In a Jan. 16 piece, the Washington Post's Philip Kennicott wrote, "with devastating hurricanes, a failed political system, corruption, coups and riots, Haiti became the very definition of a failed state. To be blunt: It came to seem as if the people of Haiti had no status.

"If you believe that, then it is impossible to violate their privacy."

The Times and the chairman of the Visual Task Force of the National Association of Black Journalists defended the photo, however.

"There was some discussion about running these pictures and ultimately we were very comfortable with the choice," Times spokeswoman Diane C. McNulty told Journal-isms. "We have run similar photos of women from various ethnic backgrounds in the past; race did not enter into it."

What you think?

Disclaimer: This article was Jacked from Journal-ism website. Blk Doll did not writ this it was writtin by Richard Price.

Starting My Journey

2010-02-07T17:03:00.002-06:00

I am a 30-ish woman that is in a weird place in my life. Have you ever been in that place were you are suppose to be grown but sometimes you wish there was a parent around to take care of some of the issues in your life. No really… I wish I can say, “ Hey Mom, the mortgage is due, how much you got on it” or , “ Daddy the car note, life insurance, car insurance, and utility bills are do….can you handle it for me.”

Oh to be a child again, when worries were few. Well it’s not like I can go chill back at Mom’s because I don’t feel like being a grown up…so I guess I will face the music. *eye rolls*

For me clarity is essential and this year it has been my main focus. So with much thought I came up with a 5 year plan that I am happy with.

1. Obtain civil engineering degree.

I know this is going to be a challenge but getting a business degree was very easy for me. This is not to say that there were no challenging classes…believe me there were. But I did feel it was relatively easier than most degrees. But it is a very valuable degree to have. However, the engineering degree is outside the box for me. Its very math and science focused and I want to challenge myself to do something that requires me to go outside my realm of education and knowledge. Plus my job will pay for a majority of the classes.

2. Sell my home

I love my home but I don’t plan on living in STL forever so it may not be a good idea to keep the home. I plan to make some upgrades. But in 5 years I want to sell it for a decent profit.

3. Move back to California

Yes…. I’m going back to Cali. I did not realize how much I loved California until I moved back to STL. I actually yearn for the ocean. So I want to be back in Ventura County.

I’ve already been accepted into college and start my pre-engineering classes this summer. I just have to get myself back into school mode. I am going to start light at first then by fall hit it hard. I will be so proud of myself when I get this degree the classes for pre-engineering is enough to my me cringe

I’ll be required to take

Pre-Engineering Requirements
Math 1800 (80): Calculus I
Math 1900 (175): Calculus II
Math 2000 (180): Calculus III
Math 2020 (202): Differential Equations
Chemistry 1111 (11): Chemistry I
Chemistry 1121 (12): Chemistry II
Physics 2111(111): Physics I
Physics 2112 (112): Physics II
Engineering 2310 (144): Statics
Engineering 2320 (145): Dynamics

As you can see this ish is no punk. I may need a tutor but that’s cool too. So I ask for your prayers as I start this new journey. It’s time to start (in best Jill Scott Voice) Living my life like it’s golden, living my life like it’s golden, living my life like it’s golden.

It's Tax Time.....Did You Get Screwed?

2010-02-07T13:08:00.001-06:00

It’s that time again…..that’s right tax time. I for one will be glad when this mess is OVA. If you are still going over to H&R (Ova Charge) Block, Jackson (making money off yo azz) Hewitt or any other instant tax refund place you are already screwed.

You see these people job is to sell you everything but the kitchen sink. I feel that these places exploit people that make low wages. Truthfully, how many instant tax places do you see in the nice part of your city? Noooooooooooo they make their money in the hood. I know that it has been a hard you so to get an “instant” refund sounds very tempting. But honestly folks, you are giving away a percentage of your tax return. You deserve every penny of that return so why give it away to some vulture? Then they are willing to give you $25.00 if you refer friends that will give his/her money away too.

If you ask me these refund loans is nothing more but predatory lending practices. Tax preparers, both independent operations and major chains, charge interest rates that can run on an annualized basis well into triple figures, all for the privilege of getting money a few days earlier. The IRS further mitigates the risk to lenders with its Debt Indicator service, alerting them to any claims (child support, unpaid federal student loan) against refund-loan applicants' refunds. I am sure the tax preparers pay the IRS for the information they provide, making it even more ridiculous to even consider taking out an instant refund loan.

Consumer Federation of America released their first major report on refund loans and customers in 2002. The organizations' 2006 report, based on data complete through 2004, shows that 12.38 million taxpayers got refund loans during that filing season, a slight increase from the 12.15 million such loans in 2003. To obtain the loans, the report says, consumers paid almost $1.24 billion in loan fees, "essentially borrowing their own money at extremely high interest rates." They paid another $360 million in administrative, electronic filing and application fees. Based on national averages, an Eared Income Tax Credit ( EIC) borrower could expect to pay $900 in fees for refund loan, electronic filing, check cashing and tax preparation fees to obtain a $2,150 refund. This is the only federal poverty program where the cost of distribution is imposed on the recipients," says Jean Ann Fox, CFA director of consumer protection. "It's very cheap for the government to distribute the EITC because they have put the applicants in the position of having to pay a commercial entity to help them apply for it."

Refund Anticipation Loans (RAL) are big business and everybody wants in. Tax prepares have formed “partnerships” with car dealerships, rent-to-own stores, and furniture stores to offer programs that allow you to use your tax refund as a payment toward high end products.
Some tax prepares have stooped to a new low, preying on the those with little to no patience. Pay-stub or "holiday" RAL's, offered before the taxpayer receives a W-2, are based on the latest pay. Yes some people are foolish enough to take their last pay check stub and get a “instant refund”.

The estimated amount, however, may not reflect pre-tax retirement deductions, or money withheld for child support or taxes and the taxpayer will have to pay the full amount estimated on the pay stub whether or not the refund is large enough to cover the cost of the loan and fees.

What really piss me off is once they get people to sign up for the instant loan, they try to sell them more crap. “Ms. Single Mom, for another 100.00 we can offer you platinum protection on your tax return” or “Would you like to place your refund into a IRA account with us for 70.00 more” .
I know times are extremely hard and many people are without jobs, but unless it is a dire unavoidable emergency I would urge you to file online and get your money in 10-14 days. And people please get a savings or checking account, paying someone to cash your income tax check is stupid.
Businesses are out to get every dime they can during tax season. Everything is on sale and they are counting on you and me to be reckless spenders. Don’t fall for it, get what you need and put that money up for a rainy day. Most of those businesses mean the consumer no good and sells inferior products specifically for tax season.

Don’t get played this year.

Haiti...My Take On It

2010-01-27T12:13:00.001-06:00

When I started to research the history of Haiti I found out some things I did not know. I was surprised that the native people of Haiti were Indian. However, like many un/underdeveloped nations at the time, Europeans sought to destroy them, rediscover their land, change their culture and annihilate the inhabitants of the land. It sickens me that in this day and age people still celebrate Christopher Columbus. Do they still our children that Columbus “discovered” America? I sure hope not. That is brain washing …pure and simple. In my mind Columbus was murderous thief. Native Americans are still not given the respect that is due to them. They are called Indians. Now is it me or is it a fact that Indians are from India. But it is known that Mr. Columbus was lost when he “found” America and thought he was in India so he called the Native Americans Indians and they name has stuck with them for hundreds of years.

I was also appalled that black people (they were mixed) owned slaves in Haiti. They like their white counterparts did not want slavery to end. Yes their mothers were slaves and because their father was white and rich they were born free but still mistreated. It is amazing how we as black people can allow outside forces to manipulate our minds and turn us against our own kind. But it has been going on since our ancestors arrived on this land.

So much has happen to the people of Haiti and they managed to survive each time. They are strong people and they will get though this. The world is coming to their aid and I am sure the Haitian Diaspora will not let their homeland down. The hairs stand up on the back of my neck each time someone is found in the rubble. Yesterday they found a little girl that had been buried 13 days but she managed to survive! Keep Haiti in your prayers and if you are able to contribute or donate please do so

Peace and Love

History of Haiti - Part 5

2010-01-21T10:21:00.000-06:00

Part 5

On May 20, 1802, Napoleon signed a law to maintain slavery where it had not disappeared, Martinique, Tobago, and Saint Lucia. A confidential copy of this decree was sent to Leclerc, who was authorized to restore slavery when the time was opportune. At the same time, further edicts stripped the gens de couleur of their newly won civil rights. None of these decrees were published or executed in St. Domingue, but, by midsummer, word began to reach the colony of the French intention to restore slavery. Convinced that the same fate lay in store for Saint-Domingue, these commanders and others once again battled Leclerc. Intent on re-conquest and re-enslavement of the colony's black population, the war became a bloody struggle of atrocity and attrition. The rainy season brought yellow fever and malaria, which took a heavy toll on the invaders. By November, when Leclerc died of yellow fever, 24,000 French soldiers were dead and 8,000 were hospitalized, the majority from disease.

Afterwards, Leclerc was replaced by Donatien-Marie-Joseph de Vimeur, vicomte de Rochambeau. Rochambeau wrote to Napoleon that, in order to reclaim Saint-Domingue, France must 'declare the negroes slaves, and destroy at least 30,000 negroes and negresses.'[9] In his desperation, he turned to increasingly wanton acts of brutality; the French burned alive, hanged, drowned, and tortured black prisoners, reviving such practices as burying blacks in piles of insects and boiling them in cauldrons of molasses. One night, at Port-Républican, he held a ball to which he invited the most prominent mulatto ladies and, at midnight, announced the death of their husbands. However, each act of brutality was repaid by the Haitian rebels. After one battle, Rochambeau buried 500 prisoners alive; Dessalines responded by hanging 500 French prisoners.[10] Rochambeau's brutal tactics helped unite black, mulatto, and mestizo soldiers against the French.

As the tide of the war turned toward the former slaves, Napoleon abandoned his dreams of restoring France's New World empire. In 1803, war resumed between France and Britain, and with the Royal Navy firmly in control of the seas, reinforcements and supplies for Rochambeau never arrived in sufficient numbers. In order to concentrate on the war in Europe, Napoleon signed the Louisiana Purchase in April, selling France's North American possessions to the United States. The indigenous army, now led by Dessalines, devastated Rochembeau and the French army at the Battle of Vertières on November 18, 1803.

Jean Jacques Dessalines became Haiti's first emperor in 1804.
On January 1, 1804 Dessalines then declared independence, reclaiming the indigenous Taíno name of Haiti ("Land of Mountains") for the new nation. Most of the remaining French colonists fled ahead of the defeated French army, many migrating to Louisiana or Cuba. Unlike Toussaint, Dessalines showed little mercy with regard to the whites. In a final act of retribution, the remaining French were slaughtered by Haitian military forces. Some 2,000 Frenchmen were massacred at Cap-Français, 800 in Port-au-Prince, and 400 at Jérémie. He issued a proclamation declaring, "we have repaid these cannibals, war for war, crime for crime, outrage for outrage."[11]
Despite the Haitian victory, France refused to recognize the newly independent country's sovereignty until 1825, in exchange for 150 million gold francs. This fee, demanded as retribution for the "lost property"--ie, slaves--of the former colonialists, was later reduced to 90 million. Haiti agreed to pay the price so that a crippling embargo imposed by France, Britain and the United States would be lifted. But in order to do so, the Haitian government had to take out high interest loans. The debt was not repaid in full until 1947.[12

Upon assuming power, General Dessalines authorized the Constitution of 1804. This constitution, in terms of social freedoms, called for:
1. Freedom of Religion (Under Toussaint, Catholicism had been declared the official state religion);
2. All citizens of Haiti, regardless of skin color, to be known as "Black" (this was an attempt to eliminate the multi-tiered racial hierarchy which had developed in Haiti, with full-blooded Europeans at the top, various levels of light to brown skin in the middle, and dark skinned "Kongo" from Africa at the bottom).
3. White men were forbidden from possessing property or domain on Haitian soil. Should the French return to reimpose slavery, Article 5 of the constitution declared: "At the first shot of the warning gun, the towns shall be destroyed and the nation will rise in arms."[13]

History of Haiti Part 4

2010-01-19T15:33:00.000-06:00

Part 4

The outbreak of revolution in France (radical change to based on Enlightenment principles of citizenship and inalienable rights) in the summer of 1789 had a powerful effect on the colony. While the French settlers debated how new revolutionary laws would apply to Saint-Domingue, outright civil war broke out in 1790 when the free men of color claimed they too were French citizens under the terms of the Declaration of the Rights of Man (was a fundamental document that established fundamental rights for French citizens and all men without exception, it addresses neither the status of women nor slavery;)

In Paris, a group of wealthy mulattoes, unsuccessfully petitioned the white planter delegates to support mulatto claims for full civil and political rights. Through the efforts of a group called Société d'Amis des Noirs,. In March 1790 the National Assembly granted full civic rights to the gens de couleur.

Vincent Ogé traveled to St. Domingue to secure the promulgation and implementation of this decree, landing near Cap-Français (now Cap-Haïtien) in October 1790 and petitioning the royal governor, the Comte de Peynier. After his demands were refused, he attempted to incite the gens de couleur to revolt. They attempted to attack Cap-Français. However, the mulatto rebels refused to arm or free their slaves, or to challenge the status of slavery, and their attack was defeated by a force of white militia and black volunteers .Afterwards, they fled across the frontier to Hinche, at the time in the Spanish part of the island. However, they were captured, returned to the French authorities, and were executed in February 1791

On August 22, 1791, slaves in the northern region of the colony staged a revolt that began the Haitian Revolution. The call to arms was issued by a Houngan (Vodou priest) named Dutty Boukman. Within hours, the northern plantations were in flames. The rebellion spread through the entire colony. Boukman was captured and executed, but the rebellion continued to spread rapidly.

In 1792, Léger-Félicité Sonthonax was sent to the colony by the French Legislative Assembly as part of the Revolutionary Commission. His main goal was to maintain French control of Saint-Domingue, stabilize the colony, and enforce the social equality recently granted to free people of color by the National Convention of France.
On August 29, 1793, Sonthonax took the radical step of proclaiming the freedom of the slaves in the north province (with severe limits on their freedom). In September and October, emancipation was extended throughout the colony. On February 4, 1794 the French National Convention ratified this act, applying it to all French colonies

The slaves did not immediately flock to Sonthonax's banner, however. White colonists continued to fight Sonthonax, with assistance from the British. They were joined by many of the free men of color who opposed the abolition of slavery. It was not until word of France's ratification of emancipation arrived back in the colony that Toussaint Louverture and his corps of well-disciplined, battle-hardened former slaves came over to the French Republican side in early May 1794.

Toussaint led enslaved Africans and Afro-Haitians to victory over French colonisers,, abolished slavery, and secured "native" control over the colony, Haiti, in 1797 while nominally governor of the colony, he expelled the French commissioner Léger-Félicité Sonthonax, as well as the British armies; invaded Santo Domingo to free the slaves there; and wrote a Constitution naming himself governor-for-life that established a new polity for the colony.

In 1802, Napoleon Bonaparte sent a massive invasion force under his brother-in-law Charles Leclerc. For a time, Leclerc met with some success. With a large expedition that eventually included 40,000 European troops, and receiving help from white colonists and mulatto forces, the French won several victories after severe fighting. Two of Toussaint's chief lieutenants, Dessalines and Christophe, recognizing their untenable situation, held separate parleys with the invaders, and agreed to transfer their allegiance. At this point, Leclerc invited Toussaint to negotiate a settlement. It was a deception; Toussaint was seized and deported to France, where he died of pneumonia while imprisoned

History of Haiti - Part 3

2010-01-18T17:28:00.000-06:00

Part 3

Spanish interest in Espanola began to wane in the 1520s, as more lucrative gold and silver deposits were found in Mexico and South America. Thereafter, the population of Spanish Espanola grew slowly. Fearful of pirate (buccaneers) attacks, the king of Spain in 1606 ordered all colonists on Espanola to move closer to the capital city, Santo Domingo. The decision backfired, as British, Dutch, and French pirates then established bases on the island's abandoned northern and western coasts

In 1664, the newly established French West India Company took control over the colony, which it named Saint-Domingue, and France formally claimed control of the western portion of the island of Espanola. In 1670 they established the first permanent French settlement on the mainland of Espanola, Cap François (later Cap Français, now Cap-Haïtien).

Under the 1697 Treaty of Ryswick, Spain officially ceded the western third of Espanola to France. By that time, planters outnumbered buccaneers and, with the encouragement of Louis XIV, they had begun to grow tobacco, indigo, cotton, and cacao on the fertile northern plain, thus prompting the importation of African slaves. Slave insurrections were frequent and some slaves escaped to the mountains where they were met by what would be one of the last generations of Taíno natives. After the last Taíno died, the full-blooded Arawakan population on the island was extinct.

Prior to the Seven Years' War (The Seven Years' War was a major military conflict that lasted from 1756, as a result of the French and Indian War that erupted in North America in 1754, ), the economy of Saint-Domingue gradually expanded, with sugar and, later, coffee becoming important export crops. Saint-Domingue became known as the "Pearl of the Antilles" – one of the richest colonies in the 18th century French empire. By the 1780s, Saint-Domingue produced about 40 percent of all the sugar and 60 percent of all the coffee consumed in Europe. This single colony, roughly the size of Maryland or Belgium, produced more sugar and coffee than all of Britain's West Indian colonies combined

However, the inability to maintain slave numbers without constant resupply from Africa meant the slave population, by 1789, totaled 500,000, ruled over by a white population that, by 1789, numbered only 32,000.[3] At all times, a majority of slaves in the colony were African-born, as the brutal conditions of slavery prevented the population from experiencing growth through natural increase[4]. African culture thus remained strong among slaves to the end of French rule, in particular the folk-religion of Vodou, which commingled Catholic liturgy and ritual with the beliefs and practices of Guinea, Congo, and Dahomey.[

To regularize slavery, in 1685 Louis XIV enacted the Code Noir, which accorded certain human rights to slaves and responsibilities to the master, who was obliged to feed, clothe, and provide for the general well-being of their slaves. The code noir also sanctioned corporal punishment, allowing masters to employ brutal methods to instill in their slaves the necessary docility, while ignoring provisions intended to regulate the administration of punishments.

Saint-Domingue also had the largest and wealthiest free population of color in the Caribbean, the gens de couleur (French, "people of color"). The mixed-race community in Saint-Domingue numbered 25,000 in 1789. First-generation gens de couleur were typically the offspring of a male, French slaveowner and an African slave chosen as a concubine

As numbers of gens de couleur grew, the French rulers enacted discriminatory laws. Statutes forbade gens de couleur from taking up certain professions, marrying whites, wearing European clothing, carrying swords or firearms in public, or attending social functions where whites were present. However, these regulations did not restrict their purchase of land, and many accumulated substantial holdings and became slave-owners. By 1789, they owned one-third of the plantation property and one-quarter of the slaves of Saint-Domingue

History of Haiti - Part 2

2010-01-18T11:35:00.001-06:00

The Crown (Spanish Government) thought it was best to sent over Nicholas Ovando in to pick up where Columbus left off. He brought with him 2500 Spaniards, who rushed to the gold mines no sooner than they had arrived. The close contact between large number of Europeans and native workers provided a propitious environment for diseases to set in Europeans brought with them chronic infectious diseases that were new to the Caribbean, to which the indigenous population lacked immunity. These new diseases were the chief cause of the dying off of the Taíno,[5] but ill treatment, malnutrition, and a drastic drop in the birthrate as a result of societal disruption also contributed. The boom in the mining of gold in Espanola was short-lived. The decline in the supply of gold paralleled the decline in population. The Spaniards soon left the island for the richer lands of Puerto Rico, Jamaica and Cuba. Upon Ovando’s retirement in 1509, Columbus’s son Diego Columbus became governor of Espanola.

One of the main consequences of the invasion of the New World was the genocide of the Taino on Espanola. Indeed, the introduction of small pox, measles, whooping cough, bubonic plague, typhoid, influenza, Malaria, and yellow fever wiped out an important section of the Taino population whose immune system was not accustomed to those diseases The main factor in the Taino population reduction directly results from Spanish obsession for gold and the establishment of the Encomienda and the Repartimiento, which destroyed the rhythm of their lives, and their social structure. The Taino family structure was broken up as the men were sent to work on gold mines all over the island. They suddenly faced the obligation to spend most of their day working for a master whose cruelty and punishments were swift and justified by greed. Malnutrition quickly developed and the Taino suffered from protein deficiency and overwork. Another factor was the deliberate cruelty the Spaniards displayed towards the Indians. In their inexorable march for conquest in the island, the Spanish destroyed and burned entire villages

The treacherous massacre of the Taino of Xaragua was one of the most cruel and complete mass killings of Taino on the island.
An Indian chief who was being executed was about to be baptized. The priest promised him that if he did get baptized, he would go to paradise. He asked the priest:Are there any Spaniards in your heaven?. The priest responded that only good ones go to heaven. At those words, the chief refused the baptism retorting that even the best one of them is worth nothing; I do not want to go to any heaven where I stand to meet one

The population timidly surged upward between 1510 and 1520 due to the importation of Indians from the Bahamas by the Spaniards in a desperate attempt to palliate the inexorable loss of the original Haitians. The Taino population thus increased from 61,600 in 1509 to 65,800 in 1510 and again, from 26,700 in 1512 to 27,800 in 1514.

History of Haiti- Part 1

2010-01-15T12:57:00.000-06:00

When I heard about the earth quake in Haiti I must admit I did not think much about it. I was not drawn to the television nor did it ever occur to me to give a donation. Once I saw the pictures of the people rising out of the rubble, dead bodies on the street and the immense suffering the human side of me was jolted. I wondered how a nation full of black people could be suffering so much and it takes a catastrophic situation like an earthquake for the rest of the world to pay attention. So I’ve set out to learn as much about Haiti as I can. I would like you to go on this journey with me. Surely if we can indulge our brains into the latest gossip we can actually learn about a people so closely tied to our (African Americans) story.

The orginal natives of Haiti were the Arawak/Taino Indians. On December 5 or 6 1492 a fateful wind led Christopher Columbus to the island of Haiti that he renamed Espanola thinking that it looked like Spain. The head chief welcomed Columbus. But of course Columbus took the natives kindness for weakness and knew he had to come back. The purpose of Columbus’s second voyage was to colonize, control and exploit the island. His goal was to bring to the Spaniards as much gold as they need...and as many slaves as they ask. His fleet thus comprised 17 ships and 1,300 men as well as 20 horsemen to terrorize the native people.

When Columbus returned to Espanola (Haiti), he found that the thirty men he had left on the Navidad (one of his ships) were all dead, killed by the Indians (original natives of Haiti). The men were killed because they chose to use the native women for their sexual pleasure.

Columbus built many forts and once he discovered gold he launched a war against the natives. During that time thousands of Indians were killed while protecting their land. By the end of 1494 the Taino were in open revolt. Columbus had hoped to put down the resistance by kidnapping Caonabo the chief of the Cibao region and making an exemplary spectacle of him.

Columbus sent troops to occupy the north east of the island and had more forts built in the Cibao region. He immediately instituted a system requiring a quarterly tribute in gold from the Taino, which was calculated according to the number of people over the age of fourteen. He introduced Indian slavery suggesting that it would be lucrative enough to compensate for the meager supply of gold found. In 1495, he and his men went on a raid in the interior of Espanola (Haiti) capturing as many as fifteen hundred Taino, men, women and children. Columbus picked the 500 best specimens and sent them to Spain. Two hundred of these five hundreds Taino died en route to Spain. Columbus’s reaction was to exclaim: Let us in the name of the Holy Trinity go on sending all the slaves that can be sold.

Villages that could not pay the tribute imposed on the Taino were brutally repressed. On July 22, 1497 the Crown (Spanish government) authorized the distribution of lands to the Spanish colonists (Repartimiento) to sow grain and plant gardens. This land was designed to encourage permanent Spanish settlers in Espanola who were expected to establish small farms with Spanish labor. Columbus on the contrary instituted a Repartimiento where native communities were allocated to Spaniards for their own use. This system was the first concrete measure to colonize and annihilate the Taino population of Espanola (Haiti).

Foot In Mouth Disease

2010-01-13T14:26:00.003-06:00

I was reading the Chicago Tribune online and came across the article with the headline Blagojevich: 'I'm blacker than Obama'. Of course I was intrigued and read the article.

In the article Blagojevich states “I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up”

OOOOOOOOOOOkay and that makes you black? Why does this man consider living a hard life makes him black? Many ethnic groups …including whites have lived through hard times. Blagojevich only need to travel to "Little Arizona," home of Chicago's trailer park, if he needs an example of poor white people. It disturbs me that the former Governor identification of black is living in a cramped house in a bad neighborhood. If this statement represents his theory on what it means to be black, I can only assume that to be white would mean working high paying jobs, living in an affluent community and a low level exposure to violence.

I guess it was the black side of him that made him attempt to sell the Senate seat huh. No it was the black side that made him do illegal things to hook his wife up with a job. GTFOH…..

Blagojevich .......please do not confuse your diluted, uneducated, low level thoughts of black culture with the reality of what being black really means. And trust and believe you will never be blacker than Obama, his skin still requires him to work twice as hard to get half the recognition it takes for a white man doing the same job, and he is the PRESIDENT! Imagine what your average Tyone Davis must face everyday.

Tip…. Blagojevich go some where and sit down. Try to stay out of jail and live a low key life. The more you talk the stupider you

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2010-01-12T14:31:00.002-06:00

Happy New Year! Wow this year came in like a lion and brought plenty of cold weather. But I am happy to see 2009 end because it had truly been a bumpy year. Have you thought about what you would like to enhance or change this New Year? I love that the New Year brings thoughts of change, renewal, refreshing and revitalization. Of course I have a resolution but I am hoping that it translates into a lifestyle change. One of the things I would like to do is think more positively. I don’t know when I became such a pessimistic person. It is so unattractive…literally and physically. It has been said that you are what you say and if I keep focusing on the negative side of life I can expect more unnecessary drama.

People life is too short and too hard to invite unwanted drama into our space. 2009 brought many challenges and difficulties and sadly I played a huge role in my own stress. This is the year that I am letting it all go. If it works fine…if not then it will be vanquished from my life. There are going some team cuts and others will be told how I appreciate the value they add to my life. If you know me personally and I did not bring value to your life please cut me loose…because I will be doing the same! There will be no love lost and no hard feelings. It’s best to know when your season is up than to stay too long and suffer the consequences.

I won’t be changing too much but I will be listening to God and will be listening to the direction that he wants me to take in my life. People and their opinions of me will no longer give credence to my own personal beliefs or feelings. I hope to open myself up more to give love and become a recipient of love. I want peace, joy and happiness to surround me. Yes I will still be sassy and offer thought provoking outlooks on pop culture and other crazy things. But please don’t take my word as the final word and use what you need and throw away what you don’t.

I hope that 2010 be a year of abundance, many opportunities, renewed thoughts, new love, new friendships, spiritual awaking and forgiveness.