My goodness I cant belive we are already in November. We will be celebrating the New Year before you know it. Have any of you noticed how quickly time seems to be getting away from us?
Yesterday I heard that Heavy D passed away and I thought about the first time I saw him in concert ....which was 1988 by the way. My cousins and I went to see Heavy D, Salt and Pepper, Dougie Fresh, The Fat Boys, LL Cool J and Curtis Blow. It was a great show. We all had a good time and it was my first concert.
Shoot 1988 seem so far away it might as well be 1958. From time to time I just think about how simple things used to be. How all I had to do was go outside and play and do well in school. How I had friends in my neighborhood and riding our bikes was considered fun not exercise!
Times has changed and so have I. I just wish some things could stay the same. All change is not good
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
So Gone...
Why does my body ignore what my mind says. I try to keep in tact.... but I'm here in this bed.. I need to listen.
He got that thickness, the kind that make you wake up making biscuits for breakfast, so gone. And I ain't even think about the next chick that he messed with... so reckless.
These are lyrics to Jill Scott's single So Gone. And I can relate so well to these lyrics. Well....not so much now but I've most certainly had some "so gone" moments. Single ladies....y'all get this right?
Meet a guy not interesting in making him your man but some way or another sex enters the game. Damn.... brother got that diamond chip d*ck (that means his sex game is a perfect 10)
So now you contemplating how you wanna handle this. You're not in a relationship and he is not really relationship material... but that bed game aint no joke. Most of these men that have diamond chip d*ck know they are in possession of a true rare gift and their whole intention is to get you sprung!
Next thing you know... brother man at your crib more than a few nights a week and you
acting all boo'ed up like you really got a man. But here is where the game changes. The more you get sprung out on that good sex... the more power he has.
Now we kinda trying to press the brother into a committed relationship. But you don't come and say it right out the gate you drop hints. Of course he ignores the hints. And your mind starts to wonder who is he sharing the goodies with. Which drives you more crazy.
You keep getting that good d*ck but feeling used up and not so special any more. You try to wane yourself off the sex. Promising I'm only going to have sex with him once a week, I'm not staying the night I will leave as soon as it's over.
This goes on for a little while longer and sooner or later it ends.
Wow I remember those days. Guess what I don't miss them....but I know what it's like.
He got that thickness, the kind that make you wake up making biscuits for breakfast, so gone. And I ain't even think about the next chick that he messed with... so reckless.
These are lyrics to Jill Scott's single So Gone. And I can relate so well to these lyrics. Well....not so much now but I've most certainly had some "so gone" moments. Single ladies....y'all get this right?
Meet a guy not interesting in making him your man but some way or another sex enters the game. Damn.... brother got that diamond chip d*ck (that means his sex game is a perfect 10)
So now you contemplating how you wanna handle this. You're not in a relationship and he is not really relationship material... but that bed game aint no joke. Most of these men that have diamond chip d*ck know they are in possession of a true rare gift and their whole intention is to get you sprung!
Next thing you know... brother man at your crib more than a few nights a week and you
acting all boo'ed up like you really got a man. But here is where the game changes. The more you get sprung out on that good sex... the more power he has.
Now we kinda trying to press the brother into a committed relationship. But you don't come and say it right out the gate you drop hints. Of course he ignores the hints. And your mind starts to wonder who is he sharing the goodies with. Which drives you more crazy.
You keep getting that good d*ck but feeling used up and not so special any more. You try to wane yourself off the sex. Promising I'm only going to have sex with him once a week, I'm not staying the night I will leave as soon as it's over.
This goes on for a little while longer and sooner or later it ends.
Wow I remember those days. Guess what I don't miss them....but I know what it's like.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Career Drama
I feel just like the lady in the picture. Sometimes you just gotta scream and let all the negative emotions out of your body. My main issue is with my job. I have been on my job for 9 years and I am totally bored. My job is no longer fulfilling or fun. I have a new boss that totally get on my last nerve. I am no longer inspired nor do I feel like giving it my best.
I know I should not be complaining about my job when millions of people are without jobs. I am not been ungrateful or unappreciative but I want another job. I tried looking for a job last night and it has been so long since I looked for a job I don't even know where to start.
I am trying to relocate to California but I am not sure if I can. The job market sucks even more there. I have thought about hiring a headhunter, but shoot I am broke. What do you do when you are uninspired and just hate your job? Any suggestions?
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Boys Are Stupid
Okay I absolutely love my man. I really do...why else would I be dating a man on the West Coast and I am living in the Mid-West. It goes without saying that it is very challenging keeping things straight when we are so far apart. So anyway I go out to LA last week and we having a fairly good time and he mention that I put on a little weight. The weight issue is very sensitive to me and I can go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds when I am questioned about my weight. He said, " you need to lose a few pounds because I don't think it is healthy for you to be gaining too much weight." I'm not even going to mention that I lost 10 pounds since the last time I saw him. The last time we saw each other he didn't mention a damn thing about my weight.
Of course I brushed it off but it bugged the hell out of me all night. Next thing I know I am in the bathroom looking at my body and thinking all kinds of negative thoughts. But I know that I have lost 20 pounds in the last 3 months so I snatch those negative thoughts out of my head.
I figure he don't know what the hell he is talking about and quickly go back out and cuss him out. Now he feeling bad says he was only concerned about my health. I look at him hard and roll my eyes.He works out and has wash board abs and damn near no body fat. I feel like punching his ass in the throat.
He says I'm to sensitive...what you think
Of course I brushed it off but it bugged the hell out of me all night. Next thing I know I am in the bathroom looking at my body and thinking all kinds of negative thoughts. But I know that I have lost 20 pounds in the last 3 months so I snatch those negative thoughts out of my head.
I figure he don't know what the hell he is talking about and quickly go back out and cuss him out. Now he feeling bad says he was only concerned about my health. I look at him hard and roll my eyes.He works out and has wash board abs and damn near no body fat. I feel like punching his ass in the throat.
He says I'm to sensitive...what you think
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Stupid Crazy Blue Day
Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seems to go right. Well today is the day for me. Lord have mercy! Okay wake up its raining sheets outside and the sky is so dark it still look like it is night time at 7:00am. The lighting is illuminating the entire house as I scramble to find something decent to wear. The temperature dropped 35 degrees overnight....**kanye shrug*** St. Louis weather you don't like it wait until the next day. Tuesday the high was 93 today the high was 65. So I get to work and the first thing I am greeting with is YOU MADE AN ERROR. My boss is telling me I messed something up and I broke protocol and he has to figure out a way to tell the higher ups about my mistake. Never mind he is the one that provided the instructions... now he wants to cover his azz and tell me it was my error. I swallow my anger but I can fill it building up in my stomach.
I had to give a presentation but I was so messed up about this so called error that I couldn't really think about nothing else. Mean while it is still raining cats and dogs outside. I spend the rest of the day trying to fix the error and provide him talking points to give to the higher ups. Then I get an email from my professor telling me to call him. I call him and he tells me I bomb my midterm and suggest I get a tutor. I was feeling really stupid cause I thought I did well on the midterm. I didn't study as hard because I thought I knew the information. I chose to drop the class because there was no way I was going to settle for less than a B. My fiance is in LA and I wanted him to be home with me. I just wanted a good ole fashion hug. I drove home in the rain and just sat in the car in front of the house.
It's times like this that make we ask am I following the right path for me. Am I living out my purpose or am I just living and taking up oxygen. Well I am hopeful that tomorrow will be a little better. The sun does shine eventually.
I had to give a presentation but I was so messed up about this so called error that I couldn't really think about nothing else. Mean while it is still raining cats and dogs outside. I spend the rest of the day trying to fix the error and provide him talking points to give to the higher ups. Then I get an email from my professor telling me to call him. I call him and he tells me I bomb my midterm and suggest I get a tutor. I was feeling really stupid cause I thought I did well on the midterm. I didn't study as hard because I thought I knew the information. I chose to drop the class because there was no way I was going to settle for less than a B. My fiance is in LA and I wanted him to be home with me. I just wanted a good ole fashion hug. I drove home in the rain and just sat in the car in front of the house.
It's times like this that make we ask am I following the right path for me. Am I living out my purpose or am I just living and taking up oxygen. Well I am hopeful that tomorrow will be a little better. The sun does shine eventually.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Happy Labor Day....or NOT
Labor Day is Monday, and while I appreciate my job and the day off, the celebration means nothing to millions of unemployed Americans.
The Labor Department found that black unemployment — already way above the 9.1 percent national average — had a large one-month jump of 0.8 percent, to 16.7 percent in August from 15.9 percent in July. It’s the highest level of African-American joblessness in 27 years.
The number of African Americans in the labor force numbered at 17,930,000 in August.Of the number reported in the August labor force only 14,941,000 were employed. That means 2,989,000 black people are unemployed. Of course this figure does not take your cousins that stopped looking for a job or your other cousin that just recently got out of jail. These numbers only take into account those people actively looking for a job.
Then to add insult to injury it is being reported that many companies are not hiring unemployed people. This is some ridiculous mess, with such a weak economy how can this be effective. Employers are able to be more choosy in their selections and pay a hell of a lot less for top tier employees. However, this decision by corporate america has a negative effect on non whites, workers over 40 and disabled applicants.
An employer considering an ethnic minority are decreased by one-third if jobless applicants are excluded. The pool of disabled applicants would be reduced nearly 50%.
According to the National Employment Law Project, Sen. Blumenthal of Connecticut introduced legislation this week to ban employers from only hiring those that currently have jobs. “A snapshot sampling of recent online job postings disclosed a large number of ads explicitly limited to those who are ‘currently employed’,” said Christine Owens, executive director of the National Employment Law Project. “This perverse catch-22 requires a worker to have a job in order to get a job, and it means highly qualified, experienced workers who want and need work can’t get past the starting gate in the application process simply because they lost their jobs through no fault of their own. As a business practice, this makes no sense, and as a way to rebuild the economy, it only debilitates workers, particularly the long-term unemployed.”
The talk of a double dip recession has started and many are nervous. I know the crime rate in my city has soared. Every other day I hear on the news that a bank was robbed. Police are working overtime to keep the streets safe. More and people are turning to drugs and alcohol to deal with mounting debt and life challenges. Not to mention the increase of people standing at the highway exits and stop lights with signs asking for money.
It is imperative that we demand out senators and congress people to come up with a plan to create jobs. President Obama will have a job creation speech on Thursday and I hope to God he has something worth saying. I dont blame our Prez for the state of the economy but it is happening on his watch. I personally know so many people who are unemployed that it makes me angry. It's like an un-noticed phenomenon.
The Labor Department found that black unemployment — already way above the 9.1 percent national average — had a large one-month jump of 0.8 percent, to 16.7 percent in August from 15.9 percent in July. It’s the highest level of African-American joblessness in 27 years.
The number of African Americans in the labor force numbered at 17,930,000 in August.Of the number reported in the August labor force only 14,941,000 were employed. That means 2,989,000 black people are unemployed. Of course this figure does not take your cousins that stopped looking for a job or your other cousin that just recently got out of jail. These numbers only take into account those people actively looking for a job.
Then to add insult to injury it is being reported that many companies are not hiring unemployed people. This is some ridiculous mess, with such a weak economy how can this be effective. Employers are able to be more choosy in their selections and pay a hell of a lot less for top tier employees. However, this decision by corporate america has a negative effect on non whites, workers over 40 and disabled applicants.
An employer considering an ethnic minority are decreased by one-third if jobless applicants are excluded. The pool of disabled applicants would be reduced nearly 50%.
According to the National Employment Law Project, Sen. Blumenthal of Connecticut introduced legislation this week to ban employers from only hiring those that currently have jobs. “A snapshot sampling of recent online job postings disclosed a large number of ads explicitly limited to those who are ‘currently employed’,” said Christine Owens, executive director of the National Employment Law Project. “This perverse catch-22 requires a worker to have a job in order to get a job, and it means highly qualified, experienced workers who want and need work can’t get past the starting gate in the application process simply because they lost their jobs through no fault of their own. As a business practice, this makes no sense, and as a way to rebuild the economy, it only debilitates workers, particularly the long-term unemployed.”
The talk of a double dip recession has started and many are nervous. I know the crime rate in my city has soared. Every other day I hear on the news that a bank was robbed. Police are working overtime to keep the streets safe. More and people are turning to drugs and alcohol to deal with mounting debt and life challenges. Not to mention the increase of people standing at the highway exits and stop lights with signs asking for money.
It is imperative that we demand out senators and congress people to come up with a plan to create jobs. President Obama will have a job creation speech on Thursday and I hope to God he has something worth saying. I dont blame our Prez for the state of the economy but it is happening on his watch. I personally know so many people who are unemployed that it makes me angry. It's like an un-noticed phenomenon.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Busy as a Bee
OMG my life as taken a turn and now it is in the super busy lane. It's funny how at one moment it feels like time is going by slowly and boredom is my best buddy..... but now it seems that all I have time for is sleep. What has been keeping Black Doll so busy?
My sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
This has taken my breath away. She found the lump herself and it is in the very early stages but breast cancer can be a beast so being a supportive sister is #1. My sister has decided to remove the breast with the cancerous cells. This is a very bold move and I am so scared for her. She tried chemo first and it made her too weak and too sick. It is so hot in St. Louis right now....just being in the heat for a few minutes made her pass out. Next week she goes in to have the breast removed and she seems perfectly calm about it. I know that she is really nervous as hell.. but she is a master at projecting calmness. Plus I gotta make sure her kids don't drive her bananas while she is trying to get better. Not to mention that she lives about 7 blocks from me and she calls me all the time. Can you go get this, can you help me with that, what chu doing. Yes we talk more than ever now and I'm just happy I can be there for her
I am getting married!
My guy proposed to me last month with a beautiful 3 carat solitaire ring. Yes he aint no joke when it comes to coming correct with the proposal. But seriously I would have married him if he but a band-aid on my finger! Of course I was excited and was planning the ultimate intimate wedding. That got tiring really fast...who to invite who not to invite? The budget keeps growing and growing. I found a venue that I love at a price that I love, need to lose at least 40lbs before the wedding. The wedding is tentatively scheduled for June 2012. I know it seems far away but it is not that far when you are planning a wedding. Actually right now I don't know if I feel like planning a traditional wedding shindig. I may just do a destination wedding. Right now St. Lucia or St. Barts is looking really good to me right now. Of course I ask my man "baby what you wanna do"... he says " which ever is cheaper... or whatever you wanna do". He is no help guess he feels he did his job by asking!
Graduate School
I am in school and I tell you this second masters degree is much harder than the first one. I am up all night working math problems, reading notes and studying. My weekends are filled with homework and wedding planning. It is not unusual for me to go to bed at 3am on a Friday and Saturday. I sleep all day on Sunday and study just a little bit. My professors know I am up all night because I email them questions all the time in the middle of the night. Most of the time I am so tired I feel like I am about to fall over.
I will try to get back to regular postings next week. But if I fall off you know why.
My sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
This has taken my breath away. She found the lump herself and it is in the very early stages but breast cancer can be a beast so being a supportive sister is #1. My sister has decided to remove the breast with the cancerous cells. This is a very bold move and I am so scared for her. She tried chemo first and it made her too weak and too sick. It is so hot in St. Louis right now....just being in the heat for a few minutes made her pass out. Next week she goes in to have the breast removed and she seems perfectly calm about it. I know that she is really nervous as hell.. but she is a master at projecting calmness. Plus I gotta make sure her kids don't drive her bananas while she is trying to get better. Not to mention that she lives about 7 blocks from me and she calls me all the time. Can you go get this, can you help me with that, what chu doing. Yes we talk more than ever now and I'm just happy I can be there for her
I am getting married!
My guy proposed to me last month with a beautiful 3 carat solitaire ring. Yes he aint no joke when it comes to coming correct with the proposal. But seriously I would have married him if he but a band-aid on my finger! Of course I was excited and was planning the ultimate intimate wedding. That got tiring really fast...who to invite who not to invite? The budget keeps growing and growing. I found a venue that I love at a price that I love, need to lose at least 40lbs before the wedding. The wedding is tentatively scheduled for June 2012. I know it seems far away but it is not that far when you are planning a wedding. Actually right now I don't know if I feel like planning a traditional wedding shindig. I may just do a destination wedding. Right now St. Lucia or St. Barts is looking really good to me right now. Of course I ask my man "baby what you wanna do"... he says " which ever is cheaper... or whatever you wanna do". He is no help guess he feels he did his job by asking!
Graduate School
I am in school and I tell you this second masters degree is much harder than the first one. I am up all night working math problems, reading notes and studying. My weekends are filled with homework and wedding planning. It is not unusual for me to go to bed at 3am on a Friday and Saturday. I sleep all day on Sunday and study just a little bit. My professors know I am up all night because I email them questions all the time in the middle of the night. Most of the time I am so tired I feel like I am about to fall over.
I will try to get back to regular postings next week. But if I fall off you know why.
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