Get A Clue

I was over at necolebitchie.com and I was reading a recent interview by Lisa Raye aka Diamond from Players Club. Here is what Ms. Raye had to say for herself and her choice of men:


“My whole life has been a fairytale. Every man that I have ever dated has always been powerful, had money and been generous to me. He (Michael Musicik) was just the next in line. It was like this is how I am supposed to treated. My father was my first introduction to power. I am attracted to power. So when people always ask me why you always date a man with money, why in the hell wouldn’t I? I have my own lifestyle, it’s like, I’m not going for less than what I have. If I can’t be spoiled because he is not that generous, loving and caring, I don’t want you. Go to the next one. I can wait. I don’t know what it is not to be pampered and spoiled. I don’t even want to try it. That’s like saying to me, I’ma be broke. What do you mean? What? No. That don’t work for me. That’s not an option for me. I’ve never been that.”

The more I read, the more knots appeared in my stomach. This seemed wrong on so many levels, where do I start? Well first let me say there is nothing wrong with expecting YOUR man to support you. So that we are clear lets define support.

Support= To uphold by aid or countenance; to aid; to help; to back up; as, to support a friend or a party; to support the present administration

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man aiding his woman financially. However, unless otherwise stated, I feel that no man is indebted to a woman to be her sole financial care taker. In this modern day and age we should be able to take care of ourselves. I understand once you obtain a certain level of living and a higher financial bracket your crowd may change. No one lives in Bel-Air and goes to Compton looking for their soul mate, at least not on purpose.

But expecting your mate to be rich and powerful may leave a very limited amount of men at your disposal. This mentality has contributed to the profound lonely black woman syndrome. Today Black women are more likely to have a college degree, decent paying job and many other wonderful accolades than her male counterpart. However, it seems like we all are chasing the same group of wealthy powerful brothers. Could this be the reason that the rich and power men have their prime choice of women and women wait their turn to be with these men? Is this the reason that we are hearing so many married rich and powerful men are involved in extramarital affairs with several women?

Men are not stupid creatures. No one wants to feel used or looked at as an open check book. Most men are attracted to women that can fully support themselves. Independence is a sign of confidence and control.

If we only limit our search for love to the rich and power we might miss the man that posses the characteristics that money can’t buy.