Focus on Something That Matters

Kim leaves Diddy…..

Usher marries Tameka……

Brittany flops at the VMA’s…..

Foxy to spend 1 year in jail….

Jay-Z is the cash king of hip-hop…

Halle Berry finally preggers…..


The previous headlines have been the topic of discussion for the last two weeks. While it is fun to hear interesting tid-bits regarding our favorite entertainers, as a society we focus way too much on the lives of celebrities. As I’ve stated in a previous post I love gossip (trying to break the habit), but there are times when I could care less about people with multi-millions and what they do in their past time. Besides, there are real situations around the world that could use our attention and focus, possibly changing the way things are dealt with in the United States.


We all know that when a black child goes missing there is very little, if any attention provided in the media. When was the last time you saw an Amber Alert for a black child. Unfortunately, when a black child is missing based on statistics police will have a harder time recovering the child compared to their white counter parts. Each year, there are 58,000 non-family child abductions and of those 42 percent are African-American, according to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. In many cases when white children go missing their families have the money to hire private investigators, open up tip lines, and the power to hold press conferences. Sadly, when our black babies go missing we do not have the resources or the influence to generate massive attention to help bring our children home. When the police have given up and the case goes cold black families are often left alone to find their own children. Please visit the following URL and actually look at these kids. They deserve our attention as much as Diddy or Ms. Berry, you never know you may able to reunite a child with their family. http://www.essence.com/essence/lifestyle/voices/0,16109,1648448,00.html


Jena 6


I know many bloggers have dedicated time to the Jena 6 plight. However, if you’ve been living under a rock and not familiar with the case please visit http://www.countercurrents.org/woodward120707.htm this site will provide you with background information on the issue. For those of you in the know, I want to know what, if anything are you gonna do about this? Will you continue to read about unfair treatment and circumstances of others and think “ Damn, I can’t believe that is stilling happening in this day and age” or will you actively participate in causing a change. Yes I know that we are all glad that Halle finally got her a baby, but guess what real people just don’t give a damn about Halle or her baby. How about paying attention to some kids that’s about to lose their life to the system based on pure bullsh*t. How about evoking some action instead of careless head shakes, or thinking it could never happen in your city. Because guess what, it’s already happened in your city. How many black young men you know are locked up an extensive amount of time for crimes that white people commit and receive lesser or suspended sentences? If you can not make it to the rally please at least wear black on September 20th,



On September 20, 2007 more than 1 million people will wear BLACK as we unite in one voice with one message to declare that UN-EQUAL JUSTICE is just not acceptable. The world will be watching when not just African Americans but people of all races take a stand for something that we all believe in. Mychal Bell and the Jena Six should be free. If you have not heard about their case and why these average teenagers, good students, great athletes and are now fighting for their lives (one student Mychal Bell has been in jail since Dec. 2006) please CLICK HERE NOW to view this video for the shock of your life and on any of the links below for more information. This is clearly a case of racism, but Michael Baisden reminds us the protest in Jena, LA, the US and around the world is not an attack on white people but against a system that has failed us all. It is not about black and white but about what is wrong and what is right!
Enough is Enough...Un-Equal Justice is just not acceptable! ..Wear Black on September 20th to show your support!


RALLY & MARCH FOR PEACE AND JUSTICE

DATE: SEPTEMBER 20, 2007 LOCATION: JENA, LAWHAT TO WEAR: BLACKSCHEDULE:* --- 7:00am Protesters assemble at Ward 10 Recreation Park---
7:30am March to the steps of the LaSalle Parish Courthouse---
8:00am Prayers / Speakers front of the Courthouse--- 9:00am Sentencing for Mychal Bell--- 11:00am March to Park / Rally in Support of Mychal Bell & the Jena 6---
2:00pm Adjournment --- 4:00pm Town Hall Meeting on "Quality Education without Fear or Intimidation" C-Span* Schedule is tentative and subject to change based on sentencing time

Remembering 9/11

Today marks the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks and for me it’s still a bit sad. That day in 2001 was a very very bad day for me to begin with because I got laid off that morning. I had just purchased my first house and bought a new car. My boss called me to his office and told me today would be my last day. This was one of my first jobs out of college and I enjoyed my new lifestyle. I spent money like it was growing on trees, thinking I would have plenty of time to start my savings account. I left work early because I needed to go home to thank and drank. I needed to figure out how I was gonna make the next mortgage and car payment, cause I was living check to check. I kept a bottle of cognac in the freezer for those days that required de-stressing and an altered state of reality. After sitting on my couch getting smashed I went into my bedroom to lie down and turned on the television as background noise. As I drifted off to sleep I heard that planes hit the World Trade Center and the planes had been hijacked. Due to excessive amounts of alcohol consumption when I woke up I thought it was all a bad dream. Oh how I wish it just a bad dream, when I discovered that I had not dreamt the attacks but it really happened I was glued to the TV for three days straight (remember no job) and I kept crying and praying, praying and crying (with occasional trips to the liquor store, because I was not ready to accept the attack on America AND my job loss). I was an emotional wreck yet I could not stop watching the news coverage. Watching those people searching for family members, people jumping out of the tower windows, survivors covered in ash I felt like I was right there suffering with them. It felt like my family had been personally attacked and my heart was heavy with grief. In three days I had become a drunk who was depressed over the loss of my job and 9/11. On the fourth day my cousin thought it was best to come over and pry the Courvoisier out of my hands and get me out the house. I was so happy when Busch said we were going after the terrorists that attacked our country. At the time I thought it was a good decision, because I was ready to open a can of whoop ass on them mofos. In spite of this, I never thought in a million years that we would still be fighting this war, in a country that did not attack us, and killing a man that had nothing to do with the attack on American lives. (I’ll save that rant for another day)

I would like this whole 9/11 situation to come full circle, I got a new job and gave up drinking Courvoisier, now all we gotta do is bring the troops home. Let’s never forget the brave people that lost their lives on 9/11.

My Secret Addiction

I have a confession to make. I am a person that loves to gossip. When my girlfriends tell me that they have some juicy news I get really excited and often interject my opinions before they are through with the story. Gossip is my heroin, other people’s business is my crack and spreading gossip is my meth. Recently, I started gossiping about “family business” with my cousin and it really went too far. Have you ever gossiped with someone and they took it to another level? For example just straight dogging the person like they ain’t sh*t and that was really not what you were going for. I mean it just got real nasty and I really didn’t like how she talked so grimy about my people. But, like a coward I didn’t say anything. Now that she found religion when we gossip she cloth it in the disguise of “genuine concern” and add I’ll pray for them at the end of every damn sentence. Here I am trying to get the dirt or spread the word and she talking about praying for them and she is spreading the gossip worse than me! Long story short, I am getting pretty tired of gossiping about people. I know it is a very unattractive thing to do in the first place but I often find myself in the mist of gossiping before I really know it. After dealing with my cousin she make a sistah want to stop talking about people all together. I try to keep my sin and my GOD completely and totally separated but when I see her combining the two it makes me feel really low and forces me to acknowledge that gossiping can get out of hand and it is just wrong. Not to mention the person that we were gossiping about is good people and would do anything in the world for anybody (most of the time), and she would be so hurt if she heard some of the things we said about her. I actually hate I said anything at all and would take it back if I could, but since I can not undo what has been done I am no longer going to entertain gossip. I can tell that the whole situation is putting a drain on my spirit and maybe stopping my blessings as well. I can not promise I will stop cold turkey, but I will be slowing my roll when it comes to wagging my tongue about other people’s business, not to mention it is just a spineless thing to do. I have been trying to become a person of good integrity and great character. This may be God is using my addiction to gossip to turn me towards the path of truth. I can not stress to you how bad I feel about our last gossiping session, heck I may just have to cut her off for awhile. But in my defense I come from a lineage of gossipers. My grandma would know everybody’s business in the neighborhood and could give dates and times. By the time I came home from school she would give the dirt that happened on the block, like who was cheating with who, who was tricking for crack and what time the booster was coming on the block with the stuff she stole from the mall. My mama knew all her co-workers business and would tell it to anybody that would listen. Even my brother gossip, but he is the Ms. Jenkins type of gossiper (I’ma tell you about this, but if somebody ask you how you found out, you ain’t heard it from me) he could tell you who the homo thugs were and who was snitching to the cops. Anybody know of a good 12 step program in the LA area for me to join? Because this is going to be a serious fight and I know by tonight I will be jonesing for some gossip, please do not call, write, email, or text me anything that is gossip. If I start gossiping simply hang up on me or tell me to shut the hell up.

Fall Fashion Trends (part ll)

Now that we have our key pieces for fall, we must get our shoe game together. I hate seeing a sistah looking fresh to death from the ankles up, but looking a H.A.M from the ankles down. So if you think you looking fly look all the way fly. You can't half do it, if you gonna come, come correct! Here is a preview of what you will see all the fly chicks rocking this fall.

I will remind you once again, it may not be necessary to spend a fortune on shoes. These styles can be found at Payless, Target, Ross, or T.J. Maxx. However, if you are spending a great deal of time standing or you want the shoes to last more than 1 season then it may be a good idea to shell out a few more buck-o-roos. Just do like I do, which is shop to fit your budget. Shopping on a budget does not have to look like you got your whole wardrobe from the Salvation Army, if you know what you're doing (this will be addressed in a later post). Have a safe weekend everyone and happy shopping.

Fall Fashion Trends

Soon the temperatures will start to drop, the leaves will start to change colors and summer will be but a distant memory. With fall fast approaching we must get prepared for the seasons newest trends. Fall is one of my favorite seasons and shopping brings me pleasure. With that in mind, I have complied a list of fall’s (must have) key pieces. These pieces will enhance what you already have in your wardrobe and ensure that you are on point this season.

Dress Shirts with Bows

Pleated Trousers

School Boy Chic

Motorcross Jackets

Statement Coats

Metallic Totes and Purses

Chunky Knits

Hourglass Silhouette

Capes

Don't think that spending a great deal of money on clothes is the only way to enhance your fall wardrobe. You can find these trends at Kohls, H&M, Old Navy, Forever 21 and other affordable stores. However, be advised that some " key pieces" are worth the price you pay. When you lay down some serious cash for key pieces make sure they are timeless garments and not anything that is simply trendy. You'll know when you hit the jackpot because you should be able to wear them for several seasons and they should never go out of style a great example is a trench coat. Now that you have your key pieces in place tomorrow we will check out the shoe game.

The Starter Husband

In America, based on statistics a married couple has a 50% chance of staying married longer that 7 years. Now if you are a black couple your chances decrease to a 30% chance to making it to that 7 year anniversary. Heck that is not even enough time to make a dent in a 30 year mortgage or other debts married couples may accumulate. I was reading an article in Marie Claire titled “The Starter Husband” and it gave insight to why many young marriages may be failing. According to the article many young women have a casual disregard for the institution of marriage, something that can be slipped in and out of very easily. That is especially the case when there are no children involved. One woman in the article is quoted as saying, “Today marriage is the new dating and having children is the new marriage. I would have never gotten married if I didn’t think I could get out of it.” For some a starter husband is like a starter home- a semi commitment where you’re willing to do some of the surface work, like painting the walls, but not heavy lifting, like gutting the whole foundation; he’s just not a long term investment. Others compare starter husbands to a first job, where you learn some skills and polish your resume before going after the position you really want. We live in an H&M culture, where you can go out and by 10 cheap items for the season, then toss them, rather than investing in one beautiful coat you’ll wear another 10 seasons. More and more women have that throwaway mentality with their first marriage. Most of us find ourselves married and we don’t know what a real marriage is or what it is suppose to feel like. Pressure is coming from every angle to get married and start a family especially if you are 25 or older. We want to do the respectable thing and get married right ? However, women today are making new rules to divorce. Unlike their mothers and grandmothers who stayed in failed marriages for financial reasons, today’s woman can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. There is no longer a need to stay put in an empty shell of a marriage---an agreement on paper only, instead young women are divorcing in record numbers and remarrying within 5 years. Tell me your thoughts on this do you think women between the ages of 18-35 are looking for starter husbands’ not permanent life partners.

* orginal article found in Marie Claire, written by Gretchen Voss

Life After A Three Day Weekend

Coming back to work after a three day weekend always sucks! Today is really slow and boring; the guy in the next cubicle keeps quoting Seinfeld and old Lucy and Ricardo lines. Yes, this is the type of crap I have to put up with while working in a diverse environment. I am convinced that ole boy is going to do a Timothy McVey and blow us all up when he can no longer take it anymore. He is very sensitive, fidgety, and always thinks people are out to get em. I tried to tell my boss that ole dude was crazy but she didn’t pay me any attention (they never do, until they are facing the wrong end of a 9mm). At this very moment he is singing that old 80’s song A-E-I-O, and sometimes Y. Then if that was not enough I gotta deal with my other co-worker that talks about her baby 24/7. Hell she has built a shrine to the chile on her desk and the shared file cabinets. There are literally photos everywhere and we are subjected to nonstop talk about what’s new with the baby. I have heard everything from the first words to the bowel movement schedule. Most of the time I want to tell them both to shut the hell up. Then as if I was not aggravated enough they have the air on blast and it’s very cold up in here. Needless to say I got my heater on and the window open to warm up my corner of the office. Those people (Caucasians) are always hot regardless of how cool it is outside. Then last but not least, one of the directors is always walking around here speaking Spanish to the Hispanic co-workers. He comes into the office and says Hi in English to all the English speaking people and then immediately goes into Spanish with his fellow immigrants. Now this type of sh*t pisses me off. I don’t give a damn what you speak at home or in private but to blatantly only speak in Spanish consistently at work is just wrong. Before everyone gets their panties in a bunch I have no problems with Hispanics. I just feel that if you must have a conversation in Spanish (with people that are actually bi-lingual) in front of people that don’t speak Spanish then maybe its best just to talk with that person in private.

I believe in dressing professional regardless of the work I perform. I have always been taught to dress towards your goal not your situation. So when I first started in customer service I would dress like I was the damn CEO. I believe people must be able to visualize you in key positions before you can be promoted. With all that in mind I can count on someone asking me at least once a week “why are you so dressed up”. I look crazy all weekend, but I try to look professional going to work. Professional dress adds to a person’s credibility, which can lead to advancement. I won’t complain too much because this job pays good money and I really don’t have to work too hard and I really appreciate the promotion but damn I didn’t think I would be working with the two most irritating and aggravating co-workers in my history of co-workers. But I aint no fool, I’ma get this good money, get another promotion and keep it moving. Hopefully, my next assignment will include better co-workers.