Waiting to Exhale

I’m not sure if it’s TBN or USA but they keep playing Waiting to Exhale at least once a week. Let me just say that I absolutely positively love this movie. When it first came out I was about 19 or 20. I liked the movie then but did not have enough experience in the field of love to really get it…. know what I mean. Yeah, I had my feeling hurt a time or two or three but nothing that made me evaluate who and how I love. So now that I’m a Full grown woman and had plenty experience in the area of relationships and love, I now see things in the movie that I can relate to more than I could in my early twenties. For example, when Savannah had sex with her date from the New Year’s Eve party, she really was not into him but she just needed some sexual relief. Come on ladies raise your hand if you ever had sex with a man knowing darn well you wouldn’t want to be caught dead with him outside the DARK bedroom . And as soon as he leaves you say, “I don’t know why I keep f*cking with that n*gga.” I could defiantly relate, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Then when Gloria was interested in her next door neighbor she had to make sure he was into fat women so invites him to dinner after telling him all the good food she planned to cook. After the neighbor declines she says, “To be honest, I don't have no business eating any of it as big as I am. “ Now my friend Rashida who is a phaty girl uses this type of action all the time. She says she has to know if the man can handle all of her thickness so she throws a few innuendos his way and if he can handle it, it’s on and popping.


Oh lets not forget Bernie. Y’all remember how her husband left her for the white girl and she was on the verge of a nervous break down. Then she says the infamous, “I give you 11 fucking years of my life and you're telling me you're leaving me for a white woman?” I loved how she was initially angry but with the help of friends did what was best and just kept it moving. After getting over the shock, selling some of his shit, slapping his bitch, and burning up his clothes she did some self reflection and realized she had put him and his needs before her needs. Now this taught me a valuable lesson such as, don’t get so busy taking care of someone else that you forget to take care of yourself. A real man wants his woman to live out her dreams too. Then remember at the birthday party she got so mad that she was gonna call the girlfriend and cuss her out. Thankfully she had some true women friends that let her know that sh*t was childish and to handle it like a grown woman. Lesson in this: Never let em see you sweat. Don’t let em see you break down crying and acting a fool, keep yo cool girl we gone get’em later.


Then we got Robin the typical woman. She was just looking for Mr. Right and kept finding Mr. Right Now. First she was in love with Russell who was a married man that kept saying he was gonna leave his wife. She let him come in and out of her life as he pleased and of course he never left his wife. Then she started messing with ole dude Michael from the office, again not really her type but he was worth a try. When she got’em home he was a horrible lay with a small member (if you know what I mean). He got on top started grunted and moaning and she looking like where’s the beef? They start talking after sex and he told her that he thought she was beautiful and smart and would love to offer her the world. So she was like okay, but just like most women who feel like they are settling she didn’t take no sh*t off of him, and dumped him after an altercation at work. How many of us have passed up on a perfectly good man that could make all our relationship dreams come true, but because he either didn’t look, act, or have the same cash as our last loser boyfriend we pass the good brotha on up. Then she gets with dope fiend Troy and he ready for her to meet his mama on the 3rd date. Not to mention he stole her wallet. This mess reminds me of my girl Gina she is notorious for finding the craziest men that keep stalking her all the time.

How many of y’all single sistahs can relate to Savannah’s mama. She kept telling Savannah to keep dating Kenneth because he was a “good” man. Let’s not bring up the fact the “good” man was married with kids and his wife was pregnant. Savannah mama was acting like if she did not get with Kenneth she would never find another man in her life. Finally Savannah told her mama that she was a single, successful, beautiful woman and she is okay with the fact that she may never get married. That is how I feel at this very moment! If the man comes great, if he doesn’t that’s great too. Life doesn’t stop because your single and I do not have the time or the patience to concentrate on such things for too long anyway.


Last but certainly not least is when Gloria was trying to convince Tarik to spend time with his daddy. Tarik got mad and told her why don’t she spend time with him since she sleeps with him every time he comes. See ladies I am convinced that most men still sleep with their baby’s mamas. The more they say they hate them, the more likely it is they are sleeping with em. Ask any baby mama and I bet 85% percent of them will tell you that she slept with her baby daddy this year. Even though she has a man and he has a woman, that’s why I prefer to date men without children.

I just love this movie because every woman can identify with one of the sistahs in the movie. I see a little of myself in every one of the characters. Unfortunately I have been in many of the same situations that the ladies in the movie encounter. Check TBN or USA and see when the next time it’s coming on, make you a drink, get you some popcorn, lay on the couch and have you a good ole time. Not to mention this sound track is slamming. Every song is a great one.

Just Another Manic Monday

Hey Everybody,


Well it’s Monday and work is ……well work. Looks like our computer system is going down, which means that we will have to do everything manually and that means I’ma really hafta work today…. damn. Nothing extraordinary happened this weekend, but I did see the locktian so she could see the condition of my hair. Now the locktian is in Inglewood and I am in Ventura which is about 45mins to an hour apart. Well wouldn’t cha know that on a Saturday afternoon the 101 and 405 freeways were packed to FULL capacity? It took me 2 hours to get to the locktian. Of course I was full of anxiety and pissed when I got there, but she was very nice, showed me a video of the process and everythang. I even have some sample locks in my hair. I finally set a date of Nov 9th to get the locks put in. I’m kinda excited but scared at the same time. My friends keep asking me if I am ready to look crazy and hafta explain my hair to my predominately hispanic and white co-workers.

I am aware I may look a little different once the locks are in, but I really have wanted locks for about 5 years. However, I kept worrying about what people would think, if I would be seen as pretty and dateable, if my job will see my hair as acceptable, and the undeniable “crazy” looking stage during the initial process of locks. Well finally I have gotten to a point in my life where I really don’t give a damn about what other people think. As my Mama use to say “Opinions are like a$$holes, everybody got one.” So with that said I am very confidant about getting my sisterlocks and will wear them with confidence and pride. As far as the co-workers I will have to educate them on my hair, BUT there will only be one speech given, then I will refer them to google. I hate explaining my hair choices to other ethnicities. Every human being has the same hair makeup. Hair is made of protein… peorid; the only difference is texture and thickness. Sorry about the hair thing and talking about it so much, it’s just that people place so much value on the hair and how it affects how other people see you it just makes me mad sometimes.


Anyways, my friend called me a racist. I was shocked but even more dismayed when she said that I was racist toward BLACK people! She says that calling them coons, buffoons, and ignorant is a form of discrimination. Ms Lady says that because I personally don’t like something doesn’t classify it as stupid or coonery. I really agree with her. However, there are people who are ignorant, stupid coons and do nothing with their power but make black people; no I take that back, make themselves look like buffoons to the world. Do I think people like Flavor Flav, New York, T.I, Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Dave Banner( just to name a few) are pillars of the black community………………. HELL NAW. But these people are in the spotlight and are subjected to my commentary be it good or bad. And if they do things that cause me to give them the sideways glance then ya know I’ma talk about it.

Too Bad You Can’t Buy Common Sense

It ceases to amaze me the behaviors displayed by black rappers and athletes. One would think when one amasses a great amount of wealth they would adjust their behavior to reflect their new status. This is especially true for those who started off poor and destitute. Why is it that you never hear about Bill Gates slapping a waitress upside the head or Donald Trump getting pulled over and massive amounts of marijuana found in his possession? Have you ever heard of billionaire investor Warren Buffett shooting one of his partners over an unpaid debt? The answer to all of these questions is a resounding NO. You see white folks (most of them anyway) know how to at least act civilized when they get a little dough. This is not to insinuate that all black people that go from rags to riches act a got-damn fool; however it seems that many of these rappers and athletes get a god complex and actually start to believe they are untouchable. They start to live out the things they rap about. Many tend to forget that at the end of the day they are black and subjected to the same bias laws as “Raheem” who stands on the block all day. The only difference is the system knows they ain’t gon get too much money outta “Raheem”. “Raheem” may drop a few stacks (which he probably got from his baby mama’s income tax return and his mama’s 401K plan) to pay for a defense team. On the other hand, when people like Vick commit crimes the judicial system smiles because they know he may have to part with hundreds of thousands of dollars maybe millions to put on a proper defense. This does not include any financial compensation given to the victim or restitution ordered by the court. The courts system will straight break a black “rich” person down to their pre millionaire status. A great example of this is Michael Jackson if he’s not broke he’s damn near broke, the same goes for Ms Foxy Brown, what lil money she had from shaking her ill na na is now in the hands of lawyers and the judicial system.

I just shook my head when I heard about the T.I. situation. Here this man made 18 million dollars last year, self proclaimed King of the South, and overall great performer busted buying a machine gun. That sound like an oxymoron doesn’t? What the hell was this man thinking, what was running through his mind, why would he even be involved with something like this? People say, Oh he is a gun collector. However, he is also a convicted felon who is NOT supposed to have guns let alone be a gun collector! That’s equivalent to letting a child molester open a string of daycares because they love children. Rumors are saying that in order to be considered for house arrest he will need to give the courts 3.7 million dollars and some property. Before hitting it big I bet Mr. T.I. could not even image what 3.7 million dollars look like let alone spending it on something as frivolous as bail. If and when he gets out of this you can bet he will be a few million lighter, as a matter of fact he may be heading back to College Park to his old four family flat with Tamika and the kids in tow. The system is gonna make sure they bleed him dry before they let him go. It kills me how all these people still wanna remain gansta and let everyone know they still hood. My question to that is why? If I made 18 million last year do you think I will still be going to the hood hanging on the block just chilling? I would do my best to help revitalize the hood with things like community centers, scholarships, first time home buyer assistance, ect. But with that type of money you have nothing to prove to anyone but God. So as y’all can tell I do not, in any shape form or fashion for T.I., Claude Terrell, Mike Vick, Adam “Pacman” Jones or Foxy Brown.

Very few people get to really live their dreams. Not many people get to become multi-millionaires in their life time. So it is imperative that when one goes from rags to riches they protect themselves by displaying the appropriate behavior. The people that love you, love you for you and would never ask you to do something to jeopardize your career just to prove you are still down. Also try to humble yourself (Claude Terrell and Foxy Brown) you are not above the law; you are not God you will be held accountable for your actions. Last but not least get you some wisdom, (Mike Vick, Adam “Pacman” Jones) if you feel that you can not make good decisions and your judgment is a bit off, surround yourself with wise intelligent people and LISTEN to what they are telling you. Because Mike Vick, Adam “Pacman” Jones are the laughing stock of the sports industry at this moment, over some pure foolishness.

Burn Baby Burn

I am really getting the California experience. I happen to live in Southern California and Tony Tone Toni was right (almost) when they said that it never rains in Southern California. I love the rain and believe it or not I got more rain when I lived in Phoenix. I can honestly tell you that it has only rained 3 times this year, maybe 6 if you wanna count those times in rained overnight for a few minutes. And when it does rain, it only rains for a few hours then its back to baby blue skies.


On top of that we have the Santa Ana winds to deal with. If you are not from California you probably never heard of the Santa Ana winds. The Santa Ana winds are hot, dry, strong gusts of winds born near the Rocky Mountains. The air is then pushed westward out through the deserts where it warms at a rate of 5 degrees per 1,000 feet. These winds are very, very hot and very very strong. While at church yesterday the winds were blowing so hard that the minister had to stop his sermon and pray for the winds and protection of the parishioners vehicles. No lie, people were concerned that the winds would blow their cars over. Yesterday the winds were at 70mph in Ventura County. Y’all know I was holding on to my drawstring ponytail hoping that it did not fly off.


Then to add fuel to the fire so to speak, a power line was blown down by the wind and caused this huge fire in Malibu. I live fairly close to Malibu and was very concerned when I heard that it was burning. I personally never experienced fires until I moved to California. People here are so laid back and calm, me I got my bags packed and ready to roll if the fire marshal says its time to evacuate. Y’all know I ain’t leaving my clothes and shoes for nobody. I use to do the same thing when they would do a fire escape practice at school. I would go to the coat room and grab my coat before I left the room. The teacher would chastise me for getting my coat, but my mama would not be happy if I left my London Fog coat in the coat room and someone stole it while we were practicing the fire plan. Hell even if there was a fire you can betcha last dollar that I will be getting my purse and London Fog coat.


Yesterday my neighborhood resembled what I imagine Armageddon would look like. First there was thick black smoke everywhere. The smoke was so thick that it covered the sun and it look like it was mid night at 3o’clock in the afternoon. Thick ash was floating around the sky coating the trees, grass, and cars. It was very hard to breathe because the soot would stick to your nasal passages, and when you do the hock spit it is really black due to all the soot in lungs. The smell of burnt grass permeated throughout the house and started to give me a severe headache. Not to mention that the smoke down my street was so thick that people were unable to see the cars in front of them. I just kept looking out the window like a kid watching her first snow storm. I was strangely fascinated and scared at the same time. Please keep the people directly affected by the fires in your prayer because this is a very serious thing for them, and they could possibly lose their homes.

Enough Is Enough

Damn I don’t know when it happened or how it happened but I think I am a grown ass woman now. Last night I was watching TV and I saw that the BET Hip Hop Awards were coming on in 5 minutes .For the first time I had no desire to see those ignorant, over paid, under educated, Negros perform. I was very surprised to find that my views regarding hip hop has changed so drastically. I think when I started hearing lyrics like “back that ass up”, “ shake it like a dog” “Ooh Na Na Naa Naa I'm so horny”, or the very latest “ “shawty, shawty, shawty wadsyaname is, wadsyaname iz, wadsyaname iz”…. Really….. Is this something a grown ass woman wants to listen to and call entertainment? For me the answer is no. My hip hop collection is shrinking radically, because I can’t get with what these brothers (and in some cases sistahs) are saying.


I decided to watch Law and Order, but when that went to commercial I flicked over to BET and Kanye is on the stage with pink pants on. I caught about 15 minutes of the show and many times I felt a twinge inside, similar to the one I use to feel for contestants on Show Time at the Apollo, when the contestant really could not sing. You know that feeling of being embarrassed on behalf of the contestant. That’s the way I felt watching those measly 15 minutes of the BET Hip Hop Awards.

My friends make fun of me all the time because I really do not listen to song with lyrics that are offensive to women. What really burns me up is when a song (using term loosely) calls women bitches, whores, or speak of supermanning that hoe and women be the first on the dance floor, snapping our fingers and shaking our asses. One time I was in the car with my friend and Mystical’s song “shake it like a dog” came on and I told her to turn it off, because I did not want to hear that crap. My friend thought I was taking it too far, but I did not feel like hearing garbage.

I look at rappers like Jay-Z and shake my head. I can not believe we (the consumer, no I take that back, white suburban kids) have made this man a multi-millionaire. We have provided this man with the means to sail around France in his yacht, buy a basketball team, and open up several restaurants. In the meantime our schools are failing, HIV is on the rise, black kids are dropping out of school like crazy, black men are going to jail at an increasing rate and good jobs are becoming harder to find than a needle in a haystack. All that buying power going astray, as the black community suffers power economic blows. I guess hard times makes for good rap material for the future rappers of America. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on the man but when people rap about selling drugs and they ain’t seen a piece of crack since at least 1997 need to find something new to talk about, the same with Lil Wayne and many other rappers. But their massive fortunes and spending habits really doesn’t concern me. I personally buy most of the hip hop that I do have from the boot leg man. I rather see the man on the corner make a come up than the rapper reminding me about how much weight he used to push or how many hoes he f*cks.



So BET, MTV. and VH1 can have as many award shows as they like, I’m no longer anxiously awaiting to see who will win best rapper of the year. To show you how crazy VH1 is they gave a tribute to the Wu-Tang Clan. How the hell you gone jump from MC Lyte ( a real raptress) to the Wu-Tang Clan. What about Dougie Fresh, LL Cool J, Roxanne Shante, hell even Cool Moe Dee.

Well that’s my rant for today, y’all folks have a great Thursday and I’ll talk to y’all later.

A Night With Jill

I am still feeling good from last night. In my venture to create a life in LA I decided that I would go see Ms Jilly from Philly live at the House of Blues. And what a divine, decadent treat it was. I was so close to Jill I could see her sweat, and the show was sold out, so you know the house was packed to full capacity. Y’all know I go everywhere alone so another sistah that came alone became my friend for the night. My new friend told me I was in for a sho nuff good a$$ show. Jill looked and sounded great, she exuded love and confidence, and her aura was simply glowing. I’m glad Jill decided to take off the wig she wore to the Why did I get Married premiere and rock her fro. Her band was on point them boys were cutting up, especially the one on the guitar. Jill sang most of her new cuts, and a few of the all time favorites. One lady up front kept asking Jill to sing different songs, she was actually screaming at Jill while she was on stage: sing this, sing that. Jill gave the woman the side eye the first time, and then she gave her the ice grill. Neither of this deterred the woman from making requesting. Finally Jill just said, “Shut the fuck up, if you do not shut up I will have you escorted up outta here and give you your money back.” The crowd started to clap and the woman got so embarrassed she left early. Which is a shame because this same woman came in late, and pushed her way to the front of the stage, bypassing all those that waited in line before her so they could have a great view. I guess kama is a b*tch. The concert continued and she rocked the house for close to two hours. I must admit I was very satisfied with this concert and would love to see her again soon.

I was really concerned with what I was gonna wear to the concert. I try to look diva-lious when I go out but my diva senses was advising me to leave the stilettos at home and wear something more comfortable. I was conflicted because as a single eligible woman looking for “Mr. Right” I try to keep my style game on point because ya never know who you might meet. Plus I did not want to be the only one in the crowd dressed casually and everyone else would be as my grandma use to say, cleaner than the board of health. Thankfully I trusted the diva senses because not only was there a line to get in but the House of Blues is a standing room only type of venue. Yes, I was on my feet for at least 2 hours. Don’t get it twisted I still looked great but I opted for a more relaxed look. As usual I had to pay for parking which was an additional $15.00; you may ask why I did not park on the streets. Well I am glad you asked, the meters in LA run until 2:00AM. Believe me the meter maids are working all night long, and will give you a ticket in a minute. Plus you can only be in the same parking spot for a maximum of two hours, if you are there longer your than two hours you will be ticketed. So basically you are forced to pay for parking. Another funny thing that cracked me up was all the stunners in LA. It may have been 65 degrees last night and I can not tell you how many people had on their faux fur and mink coats, it was crazy. But, I must admit that most of them were on their style game.




All I can say is if you get the chance to see Ms Jill, go see her. It was worth all the trouble I endured from ticketmaster.

Good Times

Hello Beautiful Ones,


Saturday I went to the Taste of Soul in LA and had a blast. I was really hesitant because I thought I would not have a good time but man I am so glad that I decided to go. First of all, there was so many beautiful black people there (75,000 to be exact, no kidding) and everyone was getting along and having a good time. I just kept looking around at the crowd and feeling like I was at home. To be honest with y’all I have not seen more than 15 black folks at one time since I left St. Louis. When I lived in AZ the only time I saw a group of black people was when I went to church, other than that I generally only saw 2-3 black people a week. Now that I live in Ventura I still see only 2-3 black people a week. My roommates are white and that my co-workers are either hispanic or white so I have grown accustomed to being the only black girl in many situations. Well the Taste of Soul provided me with my much needed fix of black folks. I wanted to personally hug every black person that day, all 75,000 of them! The Taste of Soul was on Crenshaw in Liemert Park so I knew that it would be in the hood, and personally I miss the hood. The food was great; I ate fried catfish, fries, and blackberry cobbler to my hearts content (restarted my diet today) . Y’all know those greasy spoons in the hood have the best food. That damn catfish was fried to perfection, and the old lady in the restaurant put her foot in the cobbler. I was smiling all day. There were plenty of black vendors to suite everyone’s taste. I was amazed that there was a Macy’s on Crenshaw. Macy’s could never exist in my old neighborhood, my people would have robbed poor Macy’s blind, and there were several Starbucks which I also found astonishing. People in my old hood would not pay $3.65 for a cup of coffee, plus my Aunt insists that White Castles coffee is much better than Starbucks anyway. I guess LA has classy ghetto folks.


Towards the end of the evening there was a concert and I had the pleasure of sitting with a few ladies that was about my momma’s age ( around 48) and boy did those ladies know how to party. The performers were Evelyn Champaign –King, Angie Stone, The Mary Jane Girls, Bobby Brown and Angela Windbush. I was glad that my momma kept those records playing when I was a little kid because I knew all the words to most of the songs. That concert took me back to when I was a kid, on Saturdays my momma would get her albums out put the records on the component set. She would make sure the needle was good, then she would place a penny on the top of the needle and we would be grooving all afternoon ( sorry nostalgic took over). Man Evelyn Champaign –King did her thang. I know that lady has to be in her middle 50’s and she looked like she was at least 35. I was grooving with my crew when the Mary Jane Girls began singing In My House, Candy Man, and All Night Long, we lost our minds. It was straight ole school, we were waving our hands in the air, chanting “Go Mary Jane, Go Mary Jane, Go.” Me and my crew were dancing, lip syncing, and having a good ole time. Speaking of looking good, Angie Windbush was looking fabulous. She told the crowd that she has been fighting cancer for the last 4 years and is now cancer free, but while fighting cancer she was also in the mist of a divorce from Ron “Mr. Big” Isley. I must say it looked like she recovered nicely and her voice is still very soulful. I was pleasantly surprised by Bobby Brown. He appeared to be sober, clean, and ready to rock the house. Bobby actually did a good job and gave a great performance; he worked the stage and came with plenty of energy too. I used to love the old Bobby Brown, he could sing, slow grind, and make you wish you were his tender roni. Finally Angie Stone came on the stage and tore it completely down. I just had a great time and went home full and happy.