DIY'ing ...........Again

Hey Friends,


I am DIY’ing again! For the last two weeks I have been putting up chair rail and freshen up paint. Let me just say I worked my ass off. I was so exhausted that I literally feel asleep. I feel so empowered when I do things to my house myself. When I look at the projects that I completed I feel more connected with my home. I Things are coming along, but the walls are still bare. Trying to feel a house with décor can be very expensive so I am doing it one piece at a time. Tell me what you think?

The Big C………Classism

I was over at Danielle Belton’s site (theblacksnob) and I was reading her take on the Jalen Rose/Grant Hill story. Danielle said she could understand both sides of the story because she has faced some issues with classism growing up in St. Louis. She writes…


When we first moved deeper into the county, from my old all-black suburb to a more Tony and white one, all the black kids at my junior high were fascinated by me for the maximum of one week. They all assumed I had to be some tough, hood kid with a thousand yard stare from the horrors I'd seen. But I was so boring to them. I didn't speak slang. I'd never seen a dead body. I'd never seen a police officer beat down anyone. I didn't have any cousins named Pookie strung out on crack.

Coincidentally, I ended up in this weird place where had almost nothing but contempt for my own kind (other suburban black kids). Largely because they made no sense. I was the one raised in the all-black neighborhood who read Alex Haley at 13 and performed in Black History Month plays. But I wasn't black enough because I didn't speak slang or own a Starter coat. Bougie black kids were a world of ghetto suburban contradictions. Just as their weird fascination with bragging about who's parents had the roughest childhoods. Or their obsession with inner city kids who mostly just wanted to be left alone. How they were all obsessed with going to North City to parties and trying to fit in and sometimes getting shot and sometimes getting killed because, again, they had no clue as to what they were doing and learned everything they knew about "the hood" from the movie "Colors."

I grew up in St. Louis too. However, I lived in the City…. the real urban part of the City. My family lived on the Westside off of N. Kingshighway. But imagine living in the heart of the ghetto and having everything you needed, while watching your friends and neighbors struggle. Yes I was an inner city kid straight out the “hood”, but I could speak correct English and Ebonics too! My mom was a single mother but she was college educated and worked for Anheuser Busch. We owned our home and were financially stable. My siblings and I always had what we needed and lots of our wants too. My mother was a cheap skate so we did not have a lot of “overhead” cost. Our house and car was paid for so my mother had a great deal of discretionary income. I remember I had to literally get on my knees and beg her for a pair of Air Jordan’s after about 4 months a new pair came out and I refused to wear the old ones. My mother said “give me those damn shoes, I’ll wear them my muthafucken self, as much money as I spent on those shoes and you talking about they outta style already!” Needless to say she never purchased me another pair of Jordan’s again.


In the summer time our block would burst at the seam with all the people just hanging out. As soon as it got warm music stared pouring out of cars, people started sitting on their porches, drug dealers started selling their products outside instead of inside, and the boosters started going door to door selling their merchandise. From time to time there was fight or someone got shot. In the early 90’s dudes from California started showing up on our block selling crack cocaine for a much cheaper price than what the locals were selling. Plus the dudes from Cali brought their gang affiliations with them. This created a blood bath in my neighborhood. Young boys/men were being killed daily.


My mother refused to move out of the hood because she said her house was paid for and she was not running out to the suburbs to take on a bigger mortgage. Plus she felt that if more people invested in the inner City instead of running to the burbs every time they got a bigger and better job the City would be a better place to live. I remember I dated a guy from the burbs and before he introduced me to his mother he told me to not tell her I was from the City because she really didn’t care for City people. I was so hurt, how did where I live play a role in what type of person I was. Yes I lived in the hood, but I went to excellent schools, was college bound, well read, loved the arts BUT I also was very familiar with city life. Like Jalen I felt that people from the burbs and two parent homes judge me for living in the hood. Yes my mother raised us alone…but she did a great job and she never made any apologies for being single with kids. She made sure that we took pride in our neighborhood by participating in clean up efforts and looking out for our neighbors….even the crack heads. She insisted that we treat the adult crack heads with the same respect we would anyone else. I’ve watch my mother feed and cloth our neighbors for 30 years and everyone in that neighborhood loves her to death. When I went away to college when I came home for the summer my entire block showed nothing but encouragement. The drug dealers and the crack heads alike would ask questions like “when you gone graduate, what you going for and what you gonna do when your done.” Then they would say “stay in school or don’t forget your street smarts while you getting all that knowledge”.

My mother taught me to see people as people and not judge them based on their class or color. I still live in St. Louis and I am very financially stable….but I still choose to live in the City. I own a home in the City and I care about my bad ass neighborhood just as much as the next person. Hell there is probably someone making judgments on me now because I am over 30 and unmarried. In this life everyone will have his/her own unique experience; no two stories are ever the same. People can’t help the situation they were born in…be it good or bad and we can not judge people because of their situation. As the saying go until you walk a mile in someone else shoes, make no comments.

Speak for Yourself

As my Grandfather once said…. keep stupidity to yourself. No one knows how stupid you really are until you fuck up and say something really stupid. Video Vixen Dollicia Bryan feels that wearing Christian Louboutins, a luxury French made shoe also known as red bottoms will make you a better competitor in life . The shoes range in price from several hundred to several thousand dollars.

Ms Bryan states

Okay, I’m looking at myself..you know I want to be up there. I want to be compared…I want to surpass. When you elevate in your career, you elevated in your fashion. You have a higher competition.

I don’t have to have a guy go out and get them. When I was able to afford it, I went and I started purchasing them. You don’t have to wear them. If I’m capable of purchasing that and still doing my job, I’m going to do that. If you’re not capable but you still want to be competition, I don’t know what to tell you. You just have to step up your game.

Maino got involved; that’s how it all started. He said the same thing. You know, I can’t take you around events I go to with Beyonce if you got Forever 21 shoes. I can’t do that. Don’t think you’re the baddest thing, what can we do?
That’s where it started. There are so many beautiful women out there but what sets you aside from them?

First I like to compliment Ms. Bryan on purchasing her expensive shoes herself and not waiting on a man to upgrade her. I personally believe that if we desire a certain quality of life it is each person responsibility to do everything (within reason) they can to obtain that lifestyle. However, Ms. Bryan e you lost me at buying insanely expensive things is a way to step up your game and set you apart from other people. Spending a huge percentage of your income on shoes is not stepping up your game, it is showing your level of stupidity and immaturity. I know you are a video girl… but do you own your home… have you invested in your retirement or learned another craft. I’m sure your time as a video girl is very limited and you will need that shoe money in a few years.

Yes it is totally with in reason that Beyonce wears Christian Louboutins … she is worth several million dollars and her future is very secure ……even if she doesn’t sing another note. You on the other hand… not so much. And on another note if a REAL man is truly interested in you and he would like to take you around his rich friends, if he feels the desire for you to look the part then he will purchase you the extravagant clothes if you can’t afford them. That is if he really wants to be with you for you!


Also if you are wondering how stand out in a sea of beautiful women…be yourself! Men respect women that know who they are and are not fake. Don’t break yourself trying to fit someone else image of what is acceptable. You can only hold a pose so long before the real you come out anyway. On another note, I think if you want to be a real actress or model you should shut up and stop giving advice.

A Black History Moment

News Alert For Colored Folks

Libya and Egypt are in AFRICA! I know the mass media keep referring to them as Middle Eastern countries ….but they are really AFRICAN countries. Yes many African nations are Islamic and not all Africans are dark skinned with swollen bellies waiting on Larry with Feed the Children.


If you have been living under a rock both Egypt and Libya want a government that reflects the people, which will consider their wants their needs. The people of Egypt have overcome their President and now the Vice President will step up as the new leader. Now it is Libya’s turn, however their leader Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi has vowed to fight back until the last bullet. He is willing to kill anyone that is willing to protest his leadership. His family has been in charge for 40 years….Egypt leader was in control for 30 years, I can see how one may grow tired of the same leadership!

Let's pray that God's will be done.

Rest Is Needed

Hey Family and Friends,


I have been really busy and for the last week or so I have been battling a severe cold. Needless to say I am tired. This month has been really taxing on me mentally and physically. Dealing with family issues has left me emotionally spent and I believe stress caused my immune system to break down which lead to the cold.

I have been pushing forward when all I really want to do is lie down and take a loooooong nap. I need a vacation so bad… but no rest for the weary gotta keep it moving and hope for the best. I’ve had to make a lot of hard decisions that many did not agree with, but sometimes that happens. Try as you might it is impossible to please everybody, everyday, every time. Not to say that I am right all the time…trust me I have made many bad decisions and paid a heavy price for those decisions, some came with a price tag or money, ruined friendships and upset family. However, for the most part I am willing to admit when I have acted in way not fitting of a Queen. But honey when I know I am right I am willing to catch hell to prove my point.

I will start posting regularly next week.

When Mental Illness Come Knocking At Your Door

Calling people crazy in my family is like saying pass the peas please. It is an epithet used to describe a drunken uncle, the auntie with a bad attitude and the cousin who has to smoke a blunt before family event. We call each other crazy so much that it has lost its meaning. However we have two people in our family that suffer from real mental illnesses and we choose to remain silent and call them crazy under our breath. One of my Aunts has suffered from severe paranoia since I was a little kid. I would ask my Mama why Auntie La always says people are out to get the family and insist that we never talk about her or our family to anyone because it could be harm to all of us. My Mama would take a deep puff off her Kool 100’s and say ……girl you know your Auntie elevator don’t go all the way to top, don’t pay her no attention.

For years my family ignored that my Aunt and her extreme paranoia … almost dismissing it like it was a simple cold. But, we all now just because you ignore a problem it does not go away, in many cases the problem manifest itself into another problem, which is exactly what has happened in my family. One day Auntie La daughter (my cousin) Kaye showed up to my house looking frighten to death. She had been driving for two days straight from Arizona to Missouri she was convinced someone was after her and she was scared to death. After she calmed down enough to get a good sleep I asked her to tell me what happened. She told me she lost her job and suffered many indignities because certain people were trying to destroy her and her reputation. Kaye insisted that I watch what I talk about on the telephone and be careful when I am alone because these people would probably be tapping her family member’s phones and following us around. Honestly I just laughed it off and told her she could stay as long as she needed to.

As she began to tell other family members the story she told me they laughed as well and thought nothing more about it. Well that was over six years ago and cousin Kaye is now suffering from what we believe is schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. My cousin has lost over 10 jobs, 4 apartments, 3 cars, her dignity and pride. She hears voices, feels like needles are sticking her all over her body and feels tormented all day and night. Most of my family has accepted the fact that my cousin needs psychiatric help but others still refuse to believe that she is on the verge of a mental break down. I spoke with Aunt La to ask her to help me get her daughter some help; she told me “ain’t nothing wrong with Kaye, she my daughter I should know.” Given the fact that she suffers from paranoia it is very unlikely that she would see that her daughter has a mental illness. My cousin is living with me again because she lost her apartment and job and the other night she slept with a pot on her head to keep the needles from sticking her in the head. She cries a lot because she hears voices that demean her and tell her that her life will never get better, she told me she feels like the voices want her to commit suicide but she won’t do it.


I spoke with my Uncle and he started to get an injunction to have her committed. Her mother and my other aunts went into a raged filled fit and threaten to get an attorney to block him from having her committed. It really pitted family against family, but I watch my cousin suffer daily from this illness. She doesn’t want to stay with her mother for reasons I do not know, she says she only feel halfway calm with me. But I don’t know what do? I am going to try one last effort to get my cousin to help but I feel like I am running out of options. I don’t want my cousin to hurt herself or anyone else.

My question is why do black people seem to deny metal illness? Why do we look at these sort of things as

Education Segregation Still Exist in the US

My mother for the most part was a single working mother. In the 80’s daycare was a luxury for my family. With that being the case, my grandfather made sure we got to school safely and returned home from school safely. My mom would wake us up at 5:00am get us ready and drop us off at my grandfather house. At the time we did not live in the best neighborhood and my Mom felt that the school in my granddaddy’s neighborhood was superior to the one in our neighborhood. It was decided that we would use our granddaddy address and go to the better school plus he was responsible for our care while our Mom work. I wonder if my mother would be willing to go to jail for her actions?

An Ohio mother did just that. Kelly Williams-Bolar was jailed for sending her children to a better school in her father’s neighborhood. Williams-Bolar used her father's address, where she alleges she lived part-time. Yet the Copely-Fairlawn School District felt she was lying about being a resident, and hired a private eye to follow her, videotaping Williams-Bolar leaving her public housing home and dropping her children off at the suburban school. They confronted Williams-Bolar, demanded that she repay the district $30,000, saying she didn't have the right to have her daughters in the district since she wasn't a taxpayer.

When she refused, Williams-Bolar was indicted on two felony charges, found guilty and sentenced to 10 days in prison. Because of the felonies on her record, the aspiring schoolteacher will never be able to enter the classroom

As a former educator I can tell you that not all schools are fair. The supports for schools are based on the tax base of the community. The more expensive the homes the higher the personal property tax, a great percentage of personal property tax goes directly to the school district. Of course those communities that suffer from high unemployment/underemployment rates, high crime, low percentage of homeownership, and little to no businesses have a very small tax base. It goes without saying that most of the urban (minority) communities find that there children are being cheated out of a fair education.

These circumstances create vast differences in our educational system. While some of the more affluent neighborhoods have schools with great technical advances, new books, new schools, new equipment, advance math and science classes and wonderfully paid teachers. On the other hand, the lower taxed communities have to deal with such nuisances as dilapidated buildings, out of date books, little to no technology, underpaid teachers, overcrowded schools, lack of educational programs…shall I go on? It is a crime that our educational system is still segregated but instead of being based on race it is based on class. Our children are paying the price with their education.


The “No Child Left Behind” act grants parents the permission to remove their child from a failing school and place them into another school district. However, what the law does not say is the other school doesn’t have to accept the child, in many cases they don’t. Schools don’t want to inherit the problems of the failing school so the parent is really left with no choice.

I believe Williams-Bolar did what she had to do for the betterment of her children. I just hate that her teaching certificate may be on the line because of the court decision to give her a felony. I wish her and her children the best.