Failure Does Not Look Good On Me 2

I admit my attendance was not the greatest but when I was in history classes I always shinned. One day I came to history class after missing several days and there was a quiz. Although I did not study and did not know we had a quiz I passed the quiz with flying colors. The teacher pulled a friend of mine (who happened to be an honor roll student) and told her that if she let me cheat off her paper again that he would give her an F. She started panicking with tears in her eyes saying she did not give me the answers. Contrary to her pleas he did not believe her and told her if I continued to succeed he would not pass her. So to challenge him I asked to be moved to the front of the class near his desk to prove to him that I was not cheating. My junior year I was in another history class that bored me to death. I would take my daily naps in this class because the teacher had a speech impediment and it was hard to listen to him talk. One day he woke me up from my nap and asked me “What year did the civil war start?” I sleepily responded, “1861, dang is that all you woke me up for?” I plopped my head down and went back to sleep. I never had another problem with that teacher again.


Finally in my senior year the board of education decided to combine our school with another school to save money. Although we were in a new building and a few new teachers, the separatist education continued. My advisor suggested that I join the military because she highly doubted that I would be accepted into any college with my low grade point average. I wanted to spit in that heifers face, instead I just looked her in the eye and said, “No thank you, I will be attending college.” I went to college and obtained my degree but I was scared of failure. I was ruled by this fear and it caused me to pick a major that I knew that I could easily pass. Business classes were easy to me and did not require me to use a great deal of brain power. So without little thought I choose business administration as my major. No I did not get all straight A’s but I did well enough to walk across the stage. Shortly after getting my BA I decided that I wanted a master’s degree. I started out wanting a degree in procurement, this proved to be more challenging than I initially thought. I got scared that I would fail and changed my major to human resources. Again ruled by fear, I made a decision that was not based on logic and good thinking. But guess what… I passed all my classes and obtained another degree.


While I am happy that I was able to go against what some people thought of me and obtain two degrees, most of the time the degrees feel worthless. It did not feel like a major accomplishment. I guess anything done in ignorance and fear will produce less than desirable results.

Although I appreciate my job and I am fairly compensated I want something that is more challenging. I want something that requires me to use brain power and to really think. Going back to school was not an easy decision for me, but a necessary one. After careful thought and consideration I decided I wanted to be a civil engineer. I know that it requires a lot of math and science but I am putting fear aside and trying something that requires me to think!

This time I am saying to myself ‘No more doubt, no more just getting by, you can do it”.

I read a quote by Rachel Carson that said:

“The road we have long been traveling is deceptively easy, a smooth superhighway on which we progress with great speed, but at its end lies disaster. The other fork of the road / the one less traveled / offers our last, our only chance to reach a destination that assures preservation.”

This is the way I feel about what I am trying to accomplish. It will certainly be hard, but it will be a well fought victory and the prize will be sweet.


I just want to take a moment and say fight for your children education. Make sure that the staff is giving them a equal shot at success. If you find that your child is not getting the education they deserve make your thoughts known and keep raising hell until someone listens.