Losing a loved one to a homicide is different that losing someone to regular death. See a homicide seems personal it feels like a direct attack against you personally. After reading about the little boy named Derrion Albert that was beaten to death in Chicago, it brought up feelings I had about my own brother. My brother name was John and he was murdered July 16th 2003.
As I look at the picture of Derrion sister crying because the death of her brother that familiar pain rises to the surface. It’s a pain that is almost indescribable… imagine having open heart surgery with no anesthesia, now multiply that pain times 10. Yeah that is about it that is exactly how it feels. My brother was shot in the head and left dead in his vehicle. That day my Aunt kept calling me saying that a detective kept calling her saying she needed to get to the police station because John was in trouble. My Aunt asked if I would go get him but I told her that I had to visit my nephew in the hospital and since they called her she should go. When my Aunt got downtown to speak with the detective he told her that John was found shot in the head and he needed her to identify his body.
Shortly after she came from the corners office I stopped by her house to see what kind of trouble my brother had got into. As soon as I got into the door she said “John is dead” I could tell by her tone she was telling the truth. I lost it… I felt a numerous emotions hit me all at the same time. I was so hurt I could not talk for days. I just kept waiting for someone to tell me that they were playing a joke on me. I was grieving so hard yet I could not share what was going on with my closest friends because I could not talk about it. I just slept for 6 days until the day of the funeral.
The day of the funeral was really hard for me and I tried not to go but my family insisted that I attend. I felt like I was slowly going crazy and seeing his stiff dead body lying in a coffin would send me right over the edge. I never looked at my brother in the coffin. I left before the viewing for the sake of my sanity. At night I would cry because my brother died alone with no one he loved around him.
The grieving process for homicide victims can be hard. It took me almost 3 years before I did not cry everyday. I was close to my brother and it felt like half of me died when he left and I could not imagine living in this world without him being in it.
As I read Derrion story my heart broke. I immediately recognized the lost look in his sister’s eyes and the pain in his grandfather’s voice. As I watched the video of the gang members hitting him in the head with a rail road tie and jumping up and down on his skull I cringed. This honor roll student was being beat to death because he was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was not a gang member just an innocent bystander walking down the street when violence erupts and he gets caught in the crossfire.
The police have captured his killers and they are four young men between the ages of 16 and 19. They are being charged with 1st degree murder. Because the crime was captured on video I am sure they will be given lengthy sentences. When they took Derrion’s life they took their own as well. Life as they know it will never be the same. Some will be lucky if they get out by the time they are 36 years old.
Y’all I am so affected by homicide I cant even watch too much of shows like The First 48 or Crime 360. That type of stuff just gets into my spirit and I become overwhelmed. I feel like murder is being sensationalized and I don’t want be apart of that. I’ll save that topic for later.
The greatest commandment of all is to LOVE one another, we humans seem to have a hard time fulfilling that one.
No comments:
Post a Comment