Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Waiting to Exhale

I’m not sure if it’s TBN or USA but they keep playing Waiting to Exhale at least once a week. Let me just say that I absolutely positively love this movie. When it first came out I was about 19 or 20. I liked the movie then but did not have enough experience in the field of love to really get it…. know what I mean. Yeah, I had my feeling hurt a time or two or three but nothing that made me evaluate who and how I love. So now that I’m a Full grown woman and had plenty experience in the area of relationships and love, I now see things in the movie that I can relate to more than I could in my early twenties. For example, when Savannah had sex with her date from the New Year’s Eve party, she really was not into him but she just needed some sexual relief. Come on ladies raise your hand if you ever had sex with a man knowing darn well you wouldn’t want to be caught dead with him outside the DARK bedroom . And as soon as he leaves you say, “I don’t know why I keep f*cking with that n*gga.” I could defiantly relate, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Then when Gloria was interested in her next door neighbor she had to make sure he was into fat women so invites him to dinner after telling him all the good food she planned to cook. After the neighbor declines she says, “To be honest, I don't have no business eating any of it as big as I am. “ Now my friend Rashida who is a phaty girl uses this type of action all the time. She says she has to know if the man can handle all of her thickness so she throws a few innuendos his way and if he can handle it, it’s on and popping.

Oh lets not forget Bernie. Y’all remember how her husband left her for the white girl and she was on the verge of a nervous break down. Then she says the infamous, “I give you 11 fucking years of my life and you're telling me you're leaving me for a white woman?” I loved how she was initially angry but with the help of friends did what was best and just kept it moving. After getting over the shock, selling some of his shit, slapping his bitch, and burning up his clothes she did some self reflection and realized she had put him and his needs before her needs. Now this taught me a valuable lesson such as, don’t get so busy taking care of someone else that you forget to take care of yourself. A real man wants his woman to live out her dreams too. Then remember at the birthday party she got so mad that she was gonna call the girlfriend and cuss her out. Thankfully she had some true women friends that let her know that sh*t was childish and to handle it like a grown woman. Lesson in this: Never let em see you sweat. Don’t let em see you break down crying and acting a fool, keep yo cool girl we gone get’em later.

Then we got Robin the typical woman. She was just looking for Mr. Right and kept finding Mr. Right Now. First she was in love with Russell who was a married man that kept saying he was gonna leave his wife. She let him come in and out of her life as he pleased and of course he never left his wife. Then she started messing with ole dude Michael from the office, again not really her type but he was worth a try. When she got’em home he was a horrible lay with a small member (if you know what I mean). He got on top started grunted and moaning and she looking like where’s the beef? They start talking after sex and he told her that he thought she was beautiful and smart and would love to offer her the world. So she was like okay, but just like most women who feel like they are settling she didn’t take no sh*t off of him, and dumped him after an altercation at work. How many of us have passed up on a perfectly good man that could make all our relationship dreams come true, but because he either didn’t look, act, or have the same cash as our last loser boyfriend we pass the good brotha on up. Then she gets with dope fiend Troy and he ready for her to meet his mama on the 3rd date. Not to mention he stole her wallet. This mess reminds me of my girl Gina she is notorious for finding the craziest men that keep stalking her all the time.

How many of y’all single sistahs can relate to Savannah’s mama. She kept telling Savannah to keep dating Kenneth because he was a “good” man. Let’s not bring up the fact the “good” man was married with kids and his wife was pregnant. Savannah mama was acting like if she did not get with Kenneth she would never find another man in her life. Finally Savannah told her mama that she was a single, successful, beautiful woman and she is okay with the fact that she may never get married. That is how I feel at this very moment! If the man comes great, if he doesn’t that’s great too. Life doesn’t stop because your single and I do not have the time or the patience to concentrate on such things for too long anyway.

Last but certainly not least is when Gloria was trying to convince Tarik to spend time with his daddy. Tarik got mad and told her why don’t she spend time with him since she sleeps with him every time he comes. See ladies I am convinced that most men still sleep with their baby’s mamas. The more they say they hate them, the more likely it is they are sleeping with em. Ask any baby mama and I bet 85% percent of them will tell you that she slept with her baby daddy this year. Even though she has a man and he has a woman, that’s why I prefer to date men without children.

I just love this movie because every woman can identify with one of the sistahs in the movie. I see a little of myself in every one of the characters. Unfortunately I have been in many of the same situations that the ladies in the movie encounter. Check TBN or USA and see when the next time it’s coming on, make you a drink, get you some popcorn, lay on the couch and have you a good ole time. Not to mention this sound track is slamming. Every song is a great one.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Just Another Manic Monday

Hey Everybody,

Well it’s Monday and work is ……well work. Looks like our computer system is going down, which means that we will have to do everything manually and that means I’ma really hafta work today…. damn. Nothing extraordinary happened this weekend, but I did see the locktian so she could see the condition of my hair. Now the locktian is in Inglewood and I am in Ventura which is about 45mins to an hour apart. Well wouldn’t cha know that on a Saturday afternoon the 101 and 405 freeways were packed to FULL capacity? It took me 2 hours to get to the locktian. Of course I was full of anxiety and pissed when I got there, but she was very nice, showed me a video of the process and everythang. I even have some sample locks in my hair. I finally set a date of Nov 9th to get the locks put in. I’m kinda excited but scared at the same time. My friends keep asking me if I am ready to look crazy and hafta explain my hair to my predominately hispanic and white co-workers.

I am aware I may look a little different once the locks are in, but I really have wanted locks for about 5 years. However, I kept worrying about what people would think, if I would be seen as pretty and dateable, if my job will see my hair as acceptable, and the undeniable “crazy” looking stage during the initial process of locks. Well finally I have gotten to a point in my life where I really don’t give a damn about what other people think. As my Mama use to say “Opinions are like a$$holes, everybody got one.” So with that said I am very confidant about getting my sisterlocks and will wear them with confidence and pride. As far as the co-workers I will have to educate them on my hair, BUT there will only be one speech given, then I will refer them to google. I hate explaining my hair choices to other ethnicities. Every human being has the same hair makeup. Hair is made of protein… peorid; the only difference is texture and thickness. Sorry about the hair thing and talking about it so much, it’s just that people place so much value on the hair and how it affects how other people see you it just makes me mad sometimes.

Anyways, my friend called me a racist. I was shocked but even more dismayed when she said that I was racist toward BLACK people! She says that calling them coons, buffoons, and ignorant is a form of discrimination. Ms Lady says that because I personally don’t like something doesn’t classify it as stupid or coonery. I really agree with her. However, there are people who are ignorant, stupid coons and do nothing with their power but make black people; no I take that back, make themselves look like buffoons to the world. Do I think people like Flavor Flav, New York, T.I, Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Dave Banner( just to name a few) are pillars of the black community………………. HELL NAW. But these people are in the spotlight and are subjected to my commentary be it good or bad. And if they do things that cause me to give them the sideways glance then ya know I’ma talk about it.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Too Bad You Can’t Buy Common Sense

It ceases to amaze me the behaviors displayed by black rappers and athletes. One would think when one amasses a great amount of wealth they would adjust their behavior to reflect their new status. This is especially true for those who started off poor and destitute. Why is it that you never hear about Bill Gates slapping a waitress upside the head or Donald Trump getting pulled over and massive amounts of marijuana found in his possession? Have you ever heard of billionaire investor Warren Buffett shooting one of his partners over an unpaid debt? The answer to all of these questions is a resounding NO. You see white folks (most of them anyway) know how to at least act civilized when they get a little dough. This is not to insinuate that all black people that go from rags to riches act a got-damn fool; however it seems that many of these rappers and athletes get a god complex and actually start to believe they are untouchable. They start to live out the things they rap about. Many tend to forget that at the end of the day they are black and subjected to the same bias laws as “Raheem” who stands on the block all day. The only difference is the system knows they ain’t gon get too much money outta “Raheem”. “Raheem” may drop a few stacks (which he probably got from his baby mama’s income tax return and his mama’s 401K plan) to pay for a defense team. On the other hand, when people like Vick commit crimes the judicial system smiles because they know he may have to part with hundreds of thousands of dollars maybe millions to put on a proper defense. This does not include any financial compensation given to the victim or restitution ordered by the court. The courts system will straight break a black “rich” person down to their pre millionaire status. A great example of this is Michael Jackson if he’s not broke he’s damn near broke, the same goes for Ms Foxy Brown, what lil money she had from shaking her ill na na is now in the hands of lawyers and the judicial system.

I just shook my head when I heard about the T.I. situation. Here this man made 18 million dollars last year, self proclaimed King of the South, and overall great performer busted buying a machine gun. That sound like an oxymoron doesn’t? What the hell was this man thinking, what was running through his mind, why would he even be involved with something like this? People say, Oh he is a gun collector. However, he is also a convicted felon who is NOT supposed to have guns let alone be a gun collector! That’s equivalent to letting a child molester open a string of daycares because they love children. Rumors are saying that in order to be considered for house arrest he will need to give the courts 3.7 million dollars and some property. Before hitting it big I bet Mr. T.I. could not even image what 3.7 million dollars look like let alone spending it on something as frivolous as bail. If and when he gets out of this you can bet he will be a few million lighter, as a matter of fact he may be heading back to College Park to his old four family flat with Tamika and the kids in tow. The system is gonna make sure they bleed him dry before they let him go. It kills me how all these people still wanna remain gansta and let everyone know they still hood. My question to that is why? If I made 18 million last year do you think I will still be going to the hood hanging on the block just chilling? I would do my best to help revitalize the hood with things like community centers, scholarships, first time home buyer assistance, ect. But with that type of money you have nothing to prove to anyone but God. So as y’all can tell I do not, in any shape form or fashion for T.I., Claude Terrell, Mike Vick, Adam “Pacman” Jones or Foxy Brown.

Very few people get to really live their dreams. Not many people get to become multi-millionaires in their life time. So it is imperative that when one goes from rags to riches they protect themselves by displaying the appropriate behavior. The people that love you, love you for you and would never ask you to do something to jeopardize your career just to prove you are still down. Also try to humble yourself (Claude Terrell and Foxy Brown) you are not above the law; you are not God you will be held accountable for your actions. Last but not least get you some wisdom, (Mike Vick, Adam “Pacman” Jones) if you feel that you can not make good decisions and your judgment is a bit off, surround yourself with wise intelligent people and LISTEN to what they are telling you. Because Mike Vick, Adam “Pacman” Jones are the laughing stock of the sports industry at this moment, over some pure foolishness.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Burn Baby Burn

I am really getting the California experience. I happen to live in Southern California and Tony Tone Toni was right (almost) when they said that it never rains in Southern California. I love the rain and believe it or not I got more rain when I lived in Phoenix. I can honestly tell you that it has only rained 3 times this year, maybe 6 if you wanna count those times in rained overnight for a few minutes. And when it does rain, it only rains for a few hours then its back to baby blue skies.

On top of that we have the Santa Ana winds to deal with. If you are not from California you probably never heard of the Santa Ana winds. The Santa Ana winds are hot, dry, strong gusts of winds born near the Rocky Mountains. The air is then pushed westward out through the deserts where it warms at a rate of 5 degrees per 1,000 feet. These winds are very, very hot and very very strong. While at church yesterday the winds were blowing so hard that the minister had to stop his sermon and pray for the winds and protection of the parishioners vehicles. No lie, people were concerned that the winds would blow their cars over. Yesterday the winds were at 70mph in Ventura County. Y’all know I was holding on to my drawstring ponytail hoping that it did not fly off.

Then to add fuel to the fire so to speak, a power line was blown down by the wind and caused this huge fire in Malibu. I live fairly close to Malibu and was very concerned when I heard that it was burning. I personally never experienced fires until I moved to California. People here are so laid back and calm, me I got my bags packed and ready to roll if the fire marshal says its time to evacuate. Y’all know I ain’t leaving my clothes and shoes for nobody. I use to do the same thing when they would do a fire escape practice at school. I would go to the coat room and grab my coat before I left the room. The teacher would chastise me for getting my coat, but my mama would not be happy if I left my London Fog coat in the coat room and someone stole it while we were practicing the fire plan. Hell even if there was a fire you can betcha last dollar that I will be getting my purse and London Fog coat.

Yesterday my neighborhood resembled what I imagine Armageddon would look like. First there was thick black smoke everywhere. The smoke was so thick that it covered the sun and it look like it was mid night at 3o’clock in the afternoon. Thick ash was floating around the sky coating the trees, grass, and cars. It was very hard to breathe because the soot would stick to your nasal passages, and when you do the hock spit it is really black due to all the soot in lungs. The smell of burnt grass permeated throughout the house and started to give me a severe headache. Not to mention that the smoke down my street was so thick that people were unable to see the cars in front of them. I just kept looking out the window like a kid watching her first snow storm. I was strangely fascinated and scared at the same time. Please keep the people directly affected by the fires in your prayer because this is a very serious thing for them, and they could possibly lose their homes.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Enough Is Enough

Damn I don’t know when it happened or how it happened but I think I am a grown ass woman now. Last night I was watching TV and I saw that the BET Hip Hop Awards were coming on in 5 minutes .For the first time I had no desire to see those ignorant, over paid, under educated, Negros perform. I was very surprised to find that my views regarding hip hop has changed so drastically. I think when I started hearing lyrics like “back that ass up”, “ shake it like a dog” “Ooh Na Na Naa Naa I'm so horny”, or the very latest “ “shawty, shawty, shawty wadsyaname is, wadsyaname iz, wadsyaname iz”…. Really….. Is this something a grown ass woman wants to listen to and call entertainment? For me the answer is no. My hip hop collection is shrinking radically, because I can’t get with what these brothers (and in some cases sistahs) are saying.

I decided to watch Law and Order, but when that went to commercial I flicked over to BET and Kanye is on the stage with pink pants on. I caught about 15 minutes of the show and many times I felt a twinge inside, similar to the one I use to feel for contestants on Show Time at the Apollo, when the contestant really could not sing. You know that feeling of being embarrassed on behalf of the contestant. That’s the way I felt watching those measly 15 minutes of the BET Hip Hop Awards.

My friends make fun of me all the time because I really do not listen to song with lyrics that are offensive to women. What really burns me up is when a song (using term loosely) calls women bitches, whores, or speak of supermanning that hoe and women be the first on the dance floor, snapping our fingers and shaking our asses. One time I was in the car with my friend and Mystical’s song “shake it like a dog” came on and I told her to turn it off, because I did not want to hear that crap. My friend thought I was taking it too far, but I did not feel like hearing garbage.

I look at rappers like Jay-Z and shake my head. I can not believe we (the consumer, no I take that back, white suburban kids) have made this man a multi-millionaire. We have provided this man with the means to sail around France in his yacht, buy a basketball team, and open up several restaurants. In the meantime our schools are failing, HIV is on the rise, black kids are dropping out of school like crazy, black men are going to jail at an increasing rate and good jobs are becoming harder to find than a needle in a haystack. All that buying power going astray, as the black community suffers power economic blows. I guess hard times makes for good rap material for the future rappers of America. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on the man but when people rap about selling drugs and they ain’t seen a piece of crack since at least 1997 need to find something new to talk about, the same with Lil Wayne and many other rappers. But their massive fortunes and spending habits really doesn’t concern me. I personally buy most of the hip hop that I do have from the boot leg man. I rather see the man on the corner make a come up than the rapper reminding me about how much weight he used to push or how many hoes he f*cks.

So BET, MTV. and VH1 can have as many award shows as they like, I’m no longer anxiously awaiting to see who will win best rapper of the year. To show you how crazy VH1 is they gave a tribute to the Wu-Tang Clan. How the hell you gone jump from MC Lyte ( a real raptress) to the Wu-Tang Clan. What about Dougie Fresh, LL Cool J, Roxanne Shante, hell even Cool Moe Dee.

Well that’s my rant for today, y’all folks have a great Thursday and I’ll talk to y’all later.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A Night With Jill

I am still feeling good from last night. In my venture to create a life in LA I decided that I would go see Ms Jilly from Philly live at the House of Blues. And what a divine, decadent treat it was. I was so close to Jill I could see her sweat, and the show was sold out, so you know the house was packed to full capacity. Y’all know I go everywhere alone so another sistah that came alone became my friend for the night. My new friend told me I was in for a sho nuff good a$$ show. Jill looked and sounded great, she exuded love and confidence, and her aura was simply glowing. I’m glad Jill decided to take off the wig she wore to the Why did I get Married premiere and rock her fro. Her band was on point them boys were cutting up, especially the one on the guitar. Jill sang most of her new cuts, and a few of the all time favorites. One lady up front kept asking Jill to sing different songs, she was actually screaming at Jill while she was on stage: sing this, sing that. Jill gave the woman the side eye the first time, and then she gave her the ice grill. Neither of this deterred the woman from making requesting. Finally Jill just said, “Shut the fuck up, if you do not shut up I will have you escorted up outta here and give you your money back.” The crowd started to clap and the woman got so embarrassed she left early. Which is a shame because this same woman came in late, and pushed her way to the front of the stage, bypassing all those that waited in line before her so they could have a great view. I guess kama is a b*tch. The concert continued and she rocked the house for close to two hours. I must admit I was very satisfied with this concert and would love to see her again soon.

I was really concerned with what I was gonna wear to the concert. I try to look diva-lious when I go out but my diva senses was advising me to leave the stilettos at home and wear something more comfortable. I was conflicted because as a single eligible woman looking for “Mr. Right” I try to keep my style game on point because ya never know who you might meet. Plus I did not want to be the only one in the crowd dressed casually and everyone else would be as my grandma use to say, cleaner than the board of health. Thankfully I trusted the diva senses because not only was there a line to get in but the House of Blues is a standing room only type of venue. Yes, I was on my feet for at least 2 hours. Don’t get it twisted I still looked great but I opted for a more relaxed look. As usual I had to pay for parking which was an additional $15.00; you may ask why I did not park on the streets. Well I am glad you asked, the meters in LA run until 2:00AM. Believe me the meter maids are working all night long, and will give you a ticket in a minute. Plus you can only be in the same parking spot for a maximum of two hours, if you are there longer your than two hours you will be ticketed. So basically you are forced to pay for parking. Another funny thing that cracked me up was all the stunners in LA. It may have been 65 degrees last night and I can not tell you how many people had on their faux fur and mink coats, it was crazy. But, I must admit that most of them were on their style game.

All I can say is if you get the chance to see Ms Jill, go see her. It was worth all the trouble I endured from ticketmaster.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Good Times

Hello Beautiful Ones,

Saturday I went to the Taste of Soul in LA and had a blast. I was really hesitant because I thought I would not have a good time but man I am so glad that I decided to go. First of all, there was so many beautiful black people there (75,000 to be exact, no kidding) and everyone was getting along and having a good time. I just kept looking around at the crowd and feeling like I was at home. To be honest with y’all I have not seen more than 15 black folks at one time since I left St. Louis. When I lived in AZ the only time I saw a group of black people was when I went to church, other than that I generally only saw 2-3 black people a week. Now that I live in Ventura I still see only 2-3 black people a week. My roommates are white and that my co-workers are either hispanic or white so I have grown accustomed to being the only black girl in many situations. Well the Taste of Soul provided me with my much needed fix of black folks. I wanted to personally hug every black person that day, all 75,000 of them! The Taste of Soul was on Crenshaw in Liemert Park so I knew that it would be in the hood, and personally I miss the hood. The food was great; I ate fried catfish, fries, and blackberry cobbler to my hearts content (restarted my diet today) . Y’all know those greasy spoons in the hood have the best food. That damn catfish was fried to perfection, and the old lady in the restaurant put her foot in the cobbler. I was smiling all day. There were plenty of black vendors to suite everyone’s taste. I was amazed that there was a Macy’s on Crenshaw. Macy’s could never exist in my old neighborhood, my people would have robbed poor Macy’s blind, and there were several Starbucks which I also found astonishing. People in my old hood would not pay $3.65 for a cup of coffee, plus my Aunt insists that White Castles coffee is much better than Starbucks anyway. I guess LA has classy ghetto folks.

Towards the end of the evening there was a concert and I had the pleasure of sitting with a few ladies that was about my momma’s age ( around 48) and boy did those ladies know how to party. The performers were Evelyn Champaign –King, Angie Stone, The Mary Jane Girls, Bobby Brown and Angela Windbush. I was glad that my momma kept those records playing when I was a little kid because I knew all the words to most of the songs. That concert took me back to when I was a kid, on Saturdays my momma would get her albums out put the records on the component set. She would make sure the needle was good, then she would place a penny on the top of the needle and we would be grooving all afternoon ( sorry nostalgic took over). Man Evelyn Champaign –King did her thang. I know that lady has to be in her middle 50’s and she looked like she was at least 35. I was grooving with my crew when the Mary Jane Girls began singing In My House, Candy Man, and All Night Long, we lost our minds. It was straight ole school, we were waving our hands in the air, chanting “Go Mary Jane, Go Mary Jane, Go.” Me and my crew were dancing, lip syncing, and having a good ole time. Speaking of looking good, Angie Windbush was looking fabulous. She told the crowd that she has been fighting cancer for the last 4 years and is now cancer free, but while fighting cancer she was also in the mist of a divorce from Ron “Mr. Big” Isley. I must say it looked like she recovered nicely and her voice is still very soulful. I was pleasantly surprised by Bobby Brown. He appeared to be sober, clean, and ready to rock the house. Bobby actually did a good job and gave a great performance; he worked the stage and came with plenty of energy too. I used to love the old Bobby Brown, he could sing, slow grind, and make you wish you were his tender roni. Finally Angie Stone came on the stage and tore it completely down. I just had a great time and went home full and happy.

Friday, October 12, 2007

If My Chocolaty-ness Offends.. Oh Well.

Last night one of my very good friends pissed me off so bad I considered telling her to kiss my ass and get a life. Don’t get me wrong I love my friend and she has been there for me through some really rough times in my life, however even the people we love can have very foolish opinions.

I was telling my friend that I am cutting all the relaxed hair off because I was tired of dealing with two textures of hair. She then asked me how long my hair would be when I cut off the relaxed portion of hair. I told her that I would be left with about 3” of hair and I may wear a small afro or twists. She got really, really quiet, then she said I think you are gonna look crazy with that nappy hair on your head, especially if you wear it in an afro. I asked her what she means when she says crazy. She said I just think you won’t look right with short natural hair because you are dark skinned. Now I’m getting pissed but strangely I’m interested in what she has to say. So I press her further. “What does my skin color hafta do with me wearing my hair short and in its natural state?” She replied, “Dark skinned people that have short nappy hair, look like they are from Africa, and they just don’t look right.” Then she went on to say that she needed a photo of me after I cut my hair to make sure that I looked okay because she has some very important people she wants me to meet and she does not want me to be looking all crazy when I meet them.

You may ask is this b*tch really a friend. I would hafta still say yes, she just may be a bit ill informed and suffer from what I call “white is right syndrome.” My friend is black but like many blacks she thinks that dark skin is not all that beautiful and nappy hair is certainly not an accepted practice. Most people would probably have told her a few choice words and never spoken to her again. Then again, this is something that I am unfortunately used too. I have grown accustomed to people “making fun” of my skin, being thought of as less attractive or undesirable all due to the hue of skin. Many of my family members tried to instill high self esteem and self worth but they could only shelter me so much because at some point we all have to deal with the real world. It took years for me to realize that I am not damaged and that God made me this way, and in his eyes I am perfection at its best!

Even with that said I am still amazed that some black people still trip so hard off of skin tones. We have been so brain washed to believe that beauty comes in the form of light skin (the lighter the better), narrow noses, light eyes and thin bodies. Hell, until Angelina Jolie full lips were a big no-no, but since it’s been socially accepted by white folks we can start to feel good about our naturally full lips again. And as far as hair is concerned I am still trying to figure out why nappy is considered a four letter word that should never be used in association with a well groomed, pretty black woman. Is it that “pretty” girls don’t have nappy hair and dark skin? Why are we so afraid of our natural hair, it’s the way we were made. Do you see other ethnicities using permanent chemicals to make their hair look like black folks hair? Then why must we all conform to making our hair resemble the hair of our European counterparts. Once again I have no problem with the way anyone, black or white wears their hair, but please do not tell me I am not beautiful if I do not look like the prescribed perception of beauty. I have learned that beauty is really in the eye of the beholder and beauty is different things to different people. But in my mind India Arie is just as beautiful as Rhianna and Me'Shell Ndegéocello is just as radiant as Alicia Keys. So many black people have allowed white folks to shape their views, perceptions and opinions of their own race. Some of us have no idea of what real beauty is because we have become comfortable with main stream (white) America telling us what is acceptable and like ” good black folks” we believe what massa says. And if you go against the grain you will be punished with people questioning your authentic God given beauty. Expect name calling, elitist behavior and superiority issues.

As I’ve grown older thankfully wisdom as followed and I know inevitably self love is the most important asset a person can possess. When a person has a good level of confidence people are immediately drawn to them. Most people can’t even explain why they like confidant people normally they say “it’s just something about them.” I like to call it swagger and recently, my swagger increased about ten folds. My new swagger lets people know I think I am beautiful, radiant, lovely, personable, and divine. If my chocolaty hue offends, oh well, I am what I am. Like Mary says, “Take me as I am, or have nothing at all, I can only be me.” So I guess I won’t be meeting my friend’s people anytime soon, and to be honest I really don’t give a damn what she thinks either. Oh and don’t look forward to receiving that photo because I don’t need approval. I love my life, and I try to live each day like it’s golden.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Fallen Shero

Friday I watched as Marion Jones broke down on the court house steps admitting that she used performance enhancing drugs during the 2000 Sydney Olympics. Marion looked ashamed, guilty, and very tormented as she FINALLY admitted to her wrong doing. I acknowledge that what she did was wrong but watching that women stand there crying her eyes out made me feel like giving Marion a big hug. We all know how it feels to get busted in lie now magnify that times 100 and I imagine that’s how Marion felt.

If you are wondering how all this went down, I will give you some insight on this issue

2003, federal law enforcement officials conducted a raid on the Bay Area Laboratory Cooperative, or Balco, a California lab that specialized in nutritional supplements and that had ties to dozens of professional athletes. Records from Balco indicated that Jones was also a client, and its founder, Victor Conte Jr., said publicly that Jones used performance-enhancing drugs. Conte eventually pleaded guilty to federal charges of steroid distribution and money laundering. He served four months in prison for steroid distribution and money laundering

Now to make matters worst in June 2004, Hunter, Marion ‘s ex-husband told federal investigators looking into Balco that he witnessed his former wife use illegal substances during the Sydney Olympics (fucking snitch). Then to further complicate the matter the following year, Jones’s boyfriend, the sprinter Tim Montgomery, with whom she has a son, was barred from competition for two years by an international sports court after it accepted evidence that he had taken THG, a banned steroid.

When the men you have in your life are on drugs chances are very strong that the spouse shares the same addiction. You gotta know those men were encouraging her to up her game by taking performance enhancing drugs. I am not blaming the men for her behavior but it seems like taking drugs was an accepted practice in this camp.

Although Marion admits using performance-enhancing drugs she denies knowing that she was actually taking the drugs. Marion says "By November 2003, I realized that (then-trainer Trevor) Graham had given me a performance-enhancing drug," Jones said in a court hearing Friday where she pleaded guilty two felony counts of lying to federal investigators. He (Graham) began providing me with a substance he referred to as flaxseed oil," Jones said. "At Graham's direction, I took it orally. I put it under my tongue for a few seconds and then swallowed." ……. Really, now this sounds like some straight bullsh*t. You a grown ass woman and you just gone trust your coach to place a substance in yo mouth without asking what you are taking? I feel bad for this sistah, but even I don’t believe this lie.

And if you thought it could not get any worse that being humiliated in front of the entire United States, the poor girl is broke too. In June, The Los Angeles Times reported that she had only about $2,000 to her name and a bank had foreclosed on her $2.5-million house near in Chapel Hill, N.C. Well needless to say that the two stacks is probably gone by now and I bet she was thinking about taking some of that gold and bronze to her local pawn shop, too late now.
I wonder what the rest of Marion’s life will consist of, what will she do next, how will she make a comeback. It’s not like she could just go down to the local mall and get a job at Sears. I am not sure how she is going to bounce back; I am just hoping she does.

People if you have a natural ability or talent count on that to see you through, anything more than that is not of you. It is unfair to others that are crafting their skill while you are pill popping and looking swoller than ever (Dr. Dre, Frankie Andreu Mack McGuire, Chris Benoit, Berry Bonds, ect.) Plus when you start to shine too much “ those people” start to wonder how you get all that super human strength and start snooping around trying to find out your secret, then the next thing you know you’re on national television sobbing looking confused and sorry. Not to mention the sh*t could drive you crazy, remember Chris Benoit anyone? So Marion I feel for you, I am sorry you had to suffer this humiliation in front of the entire world and wish you all the best. However, I hope this discourages other dopers to stop using and to those to thought about to rethink your decision.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Happily Nappy..... Thank You Very Much

As y’all know I am in the process of trying to go natural with my hair. I stopped relaxing my hair about 4 months ago because of all the damage and I really hated all the products and heat that was required for my hair become straight. Not to mention that after exercising in the morning I really don’t have the time or the patience to curl my hair, style my hair, spritz it down, ect. Plus I already get up at 5:30am I really don’t have it in me to get up any earlier. Also I look better with more natural hair styles, so I thought it would be best to do what works for me. Now I do not have a problem with relaxers or women who choose to relax their hair, everyone is entitled to their choice. Not to mention I have had it all: the Jheri Curl, Wave Nuevo (it still was a curl but for people who wanted to believe they had an elite curl), relaxers, weaves, braids, extensions, and wigs. So you see, I’ve tried it all, and most of they time my hair just breaks off and feels really brittle. Of course I can solve this by going to the salon every week or two and plopping down $75.00-$85.00 (that does not including a relaxer, if you want a relaxer make that $120.00, oh now you need a cut and a relaxer make that $145.00). So you see it can easily get out of hand and I simply can not allow myself to be spending massive amounts of money on something as simple as my hair. Don’t get me twisted I don’t want to walk around looking like boo-boo the fool, but I also don’t want my stylist planning on purchasing her new pair of Jimmy Choo’s at my expense. So I decided it would be best to take a sabbatical from relaxing. I can’t lie it has been a hard journey for a sistah. A few weeks back I even had to miss a day of work because my hair would not cooperate. But most days I look great and love my pretty afro puff. My hair routine is so easy, I just use 100% shea butter, a brush and a little Optimal Care moisturizer and I’m good. You would not believe how soft my hair is, I love touching it because it really feels so different. So today at work my co-worker asked me if I planned on strengthening my hair, I told her no. She then went on to tell me that her mom and brother has hair similar to mine and she is glad she did not inherit that type of hair because it is very resistant and she would not know what to do with kinky hair. In cause y’all wondering my co-worker is Mexican. I was a bit offended but not much because as a black woman I’ve dealt with these issues all my life. People please tell me what is good hair? Is long straight hair good hair? Is wavy hair good hair? What constitutes good hair and who makes the determination on whether the hair is good or not? Because to be honest with you my hair is in the best condition its ever been in in my life. So my kinky natural hair is good to me, I don’t give a damn what other people say is good. And I hate hearing people say “I got good hair”. Let me be clear here, I am not saying that I will never put another relaxer in my hair, but I do want to see how my hair grows without a relaxer. I do want a chance to experience my hair in its natural state and I do not want to be judged while doing so. If you haven’t guessed I like to challenge people and their thoughts. I do not want to be considered good or pretty because I possess qualities that people have predetermined are pretty and good. Do I look like Beyonce or have an ass like Buffie the Body, no and no again. But am I phyne, hell yeah. I am in a stage in my life that what other people thoughts does not matter, what I think of myself matters more than what others think. Black women are beautiful. We come in every color of the rainbow and our bodies come in different sizes and shapes, we are a very diverse group. Instead of celebrating our diverse looks we try to fit everyone into a mold and sometimes that mold gets very boring and tiring. I for one am tired of trying to look like mainstream America; for once I just want to look like me.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Beware of Ticketmaster Scam

I am pissed to the highest level of pisstivety right now. I got played, jacked and bamboozled by a Customer Service Representative (CSR) at Ticketmaster. I recently purchased the new Jill Scott CD (which is fire, I’ve played it like a million times since I bought it.) and thought I would really love to see her in concert. I went online and discovered she was coming to LA on Oct 16th and the tickets were $45.00. I was excited that I would get a chance to see Jill so soon and quickly called Ticketmaster to purchase my ticket. I get the CSR on the phone and he gets all my information and tells me that there will be a service fee, a convenience fee, taxes, and a facility fee. With all the fees the ticket price increased to $61.20. I’m like hell naw, I don’t want to pay all those damn fees. F*ck it, I will catch Jill later cause I’m not trying to pay that much money to go to the House of Blues. So I told the CSR that I was not interested and he advised me that Ticketmaster has a program that would save me $20.00 off my current ticket. I asked him if the program cost and he said it was around $1.00 a month for the program. Of course I was like sign me up then, cause getting $20.00 off the $61.20 was right up my alley. So the CSR took all my information and told me at this time the ticket price is still $61.20 but he would transfer me to the department that handles the discounts. Suddenly, I am transferred to an Asian woman doing her best English impression trying to sell me a frequent traveler’s discount program. Okay, now I am totally confused. I told her I was transferred from Ticketmaster and he obviously transferred me to the wrong place. She then told me I was at the right location and that they give $ 20.00 off a Ticketmaster future purchase with the purchase of the frequent traveler’s discount program. Now by this time I am starting to get mad. I let her know that I am not interested in a future ticket purchase I wanted money off my current purchase, she let me know that the program she was offering did not allow that and that I was given misinformation and by the way the travelers program will cost $132.00 . By this point I ready to go completely and totally off on these people. So I hung up on the lady and immediately called Ticketmaster back to see why that CSR lied to me. I got a really nice guy on the phone and of course I was not in the mood to act civilized. I basically told him is mutha f*cking co-worker lied to me to get me to purchase a ticket and I think it was unethical and I wanted his ass reprimanded. The nice guy apologized vigorously and said that they are paid on commission and that many of the CSR’s use that program as a selling point. I advised him it would be in his best interest to place a supervisor on the line. So the supervisor gets on the line and I told her that I was reporting Ticketmaster to the Better Business Bureau for misrepresenting a service and for unethical practices. I told her that I did not appreciate her CSR lying to me to get his commission for the sale. The poor supervisor had to listen to me threaten rant and rave about how I planned on bring down Ticketmaster. Again all I got was a bunch of apologies but this time I was told that the employee would be reprimanded for his actions. If you think I believe that bullsh*t, then you better think another thought!!!!! So all I can say is Jilly from Philly better bring it. I want to hear all my jams and I aint playing. I do not want another repent performance of the Raheem DeVaughn situation ( cause that was horrid. But then again I might have some fun and Jill is one of my favorite artists so it may all work out in the end, I just don’t like the way home boy went about it.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Things People Say

Did any of y’all tune into the View yesterday. I know most of y’all got jobs but I was watching Access Hollywood and they were showing a clip of a fight between Whoopi and Elizabeth. Actually they had two disagreements the first one was about having babies out of wedlock and the second issue was abortion. First I must give a shout out to Whoopi cause this sistah keeps it real. I never actually met Ms. Goldberg but she always came across as the crazy aunt with money in the family, and very relatable. She seems to be a person that will be professional and nice but if you piss her off she will give it to you like a real sistah. And that is what she did to poor Lizzy.

Everyone knows that Elizabeth is very annoying and tries to push her beliefs and political views onto other people. They were on the subject of Halle Berry getting pregnant and how she seemed to be very happy about the pregnancy when she appeared on Oprah. Here is Elizabeth’s thought on the situation

During the debate, Elisabeth suggested having children out of wedlock was tough and potentially offensive to at least one segment of the population.
“Here’s the problem with it though . . . this is a big trend now – you have people who are cohabitating and bringing children into the world,” Hasselbeck said. “If you owned a car company for instance, you wouldn’t rent somebody a car without a contract and you wouldn’t sign up for a phone without a lease.”

Hasselbeck then began quoting literature she said she obtained from the Urban Institute in reference to children of parents who cohabitate, suggesting they are “more likely to experience marital hardships such as poverty and food security.” Before reading those stats however, Hasselbeck made sure to note the organization was non-partisan.

There are people in the gay community who wanna be married to be able to protect their children and have insurance rights and if I were them I’d be pissed right now because people who have the right [to marry] are choosing not to,” Elisabeth later said.
Hasselbeck then seemed to flip-flop, suggesting Halle and Gabriel couldn’t be offensive for not marrying because they are “rich.”

Also, you have to remove Halle Berry and whoever she’s with out of the circumstance because they’re in the ‘because I’m rich’ category and can do this. If they didn’t have the money that they have, you have issues when it comes to not being married with children.”

Whoopi quickly jumped in as Elisabeth wrapped up her point, saying she previously was part of the population Elisabeth referred to – those with little money and unwed.

“I was not married with children,” she stated. “I totally disagree and I think you are very young to have such a strong idea.”
Hasselbeck quickly responded noting she is “30-years-old.”
The conversation then continued about raising children without money.
“I didn’t have any money,” Whoopi continued.
Elisabeth retorted suggesting it was probably easier on the former “Ghost” actress when she found herself with plenty of funds.
“It wasn’t easy with money,” Whoopi stated. “It’s not easy raising kids.”

Then Lizzy went on to talk about abortion and how it is offensive and truly not a good thing to do. Man if you would have seen Whoopi’s face you would know she had to hold back to keep from slapping the sh*t out of Lizzy. Whoopi said, “Most women that get abortions are in undesirable circumstances and wish that having an abortion was not a decision they had to make.” She then told Lizzy “You probably have had money all your life, and never had to worry about things like food, clothes and things like that, so you don’t have any idea what a woman who is considering an abortion is thinking.”

I was like get-em Whoop. This woman gets on my last nerve with her views and opinions. Don’t get me wrong everyone is entitled to their opinion, like my mama used to say, opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one. You don’t have to agree but at lease agree to disagree. And in case any of y’all give a damn I believe in abortion and I also believe that if a grown ass woman wants to have a baby out of wedlock its fine and dandy with me. As long as you are not on welfare and sucking up MY tax dollars, have as many babies as you want. Now once you start popping out kids like yo name Char Jackson and you on welfare, married or not I got a problem wit it. But hey, that’s an augment for another day

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Conflict Between the Black and Brown

Until moving to Arizona and California I had no idea or interest in immigration and illegal aliens. I was totally unaware of the “conflict” between African Americans and Latinos. To be quite honest I had never met a Latino while living in St. Louis, and I spent over 20 years of my life in the Midwest. When I moved to Arizona I was naïve to the fact that some black people actually thought they were better than Latinos. For example, I was eating lunch at Taco Bell when this lovely sistah with beautiful locks ask me if she could sit at my table. I said “sure” and continued to enjoy my lunch. Then the sistah let something completely stupid fall out her mouth, she said “I sat with you because I didn’t want to sit next to no stanking Mexican.” I raised my eyebrow and the sistah took that as I interest in what she was saying. Then she went on to say that she goes to Home Depot and picks up a few illegal immigrants to clean her house and do her gardening. She said she worked the sh*t out of them all day and only gave them $25.00 a piece. I told her that was unfair and not the market rate. She laughed and said what they gone do call the police and continued to laugh like she was an audience member of Last Comic Standing. I was totally sickened by this sistah attitude and could not believe how racist this woman was and how she seemed happy about the way she acted.

But if you think this is a one way street you would be wrong. There have been times when I have seen Latinos mistreat black people. I worked for a utility company in AZ and had to help customers with billing questions or other concerns they may have had, and was completely face to face contact. I can not tell you how many times Latinos came into the office and refused to speak with me. A few of them only wanted to speak with another Latino. They would wait for my Latino co-worker to become available, it didn’t matter if she had a line wrapped around the corner they only wanted to speak with her. I found this to be very amusing and she found it very frustrating because she had to work twice as hard as anyone else.

This issue was also addressed by CNN columnist Ruben Navarrette Jr., here is a brief excerpt.

Welcome to the black-brown thing. That's what my African-American friends and I called it back in college. It's shorthand for the uneasy relationship between the nation's largest minority and the group that formerly held the title. In college, Latinos and African-Americans got along well. Ours was a small and prestigious school in the Northeast where neither group was in large supply.
As I walked through campus, if I passed a black classmate -- even one I didn't know -- he'd acknowledge me with a smile and a nod. And I'd do the same.
These days, the groups trade elbows. It's wasted energy. I like a good fight as much as the next columnist, but I won't fight for crumbs with people who -- like my own -- had to scratch and claw for everything they have, only to be told that they don't deserve it.

My opinion on the matter is that African Americans and Latinos need to GET OVER IT. We are in a very similar situation and could be a louder voice of change if we united instead of acting like one group is more elite than the other. Both groups deal with a high rate of poverty, high drop out rates, increase in gang activity, a large number of men in jail, teenage pregnancy, HIV, inapt school districts, shall I continue. Blacks and Latinos want a better life and the best way to do that is to join forces and put the pettiness aside.

ps.... For you people that do not know the flags for Mexico and South Africa

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Me And These Dreaming Eyes Of Mine

Today I feel grrrrrrrrreat. I got a massage before coming to working this morning and I left the masseuse walking on cloud nine, feeling very groovy. I slept like a baby last night and felt absolutely fabulous this morning. Today is one of those days that feel like the Archangel Michael is hovering above me waiting to slay any negative thoughts or any depressing, angry, hating, unloving, demon that may try to attack me today. I’m having a great day at work (co-workers are staying the hell away). I wish I could feel like this everyday. Actually life is too short to be consumed with bullsh*t. With that in mind, last night I started working on my Life Plan. I plan to be a thousand-aire next year so this requires me to get my financial house in order and think about career moves. The photo above is my goal board, I actually have two but this is the one I created when I was really in a funk. My dream board keeps me in touch with my ultimate goals. The boards are comprised of more than just material possessions; it also has words, emotions, and spiritual goals. My board is the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep, it keeps me grounded and focused on my future. There are times when I get off track and get stuck in everyday life and let my dream slip momentarily, it rarely happens, but be advised it can happen. If you do not have a life plan I suggest you get one real quick. Focus on what makes you happy and go from there. Please, as hard as it maybe, don’t let money be your motivator. What would you do if money was not an object? What brings you joy? When do you feel on purpose? These are the questions you should consider when drafting your goals. Having goals is just a step to bring your dream into fruition. The next step is getting education or training and/ or surrounding yourself with people who are doing what you want to do. I am on this step now, I completed graduate school a few years back. However, school can not teach you what experience or training can. It took me awhile to understand this concept (yes I was a fool and thought an education guaranteed a great paying job) but it is part of the success journey. My goal is to open two businesses. One will be a real estate development firm and the other a non profit. Because I do not know anyone in these business fields I am joining Ladies Who Launch ( which is a business organization that help women launch their businesses. This group will surround me with women that are actively excelling in my area business. I also plan to volunteer at a non profit business so I can get a better understanding at how they are ran, and some of the challenges they face. When I dream, I dream big. That’s the only way I know how to do it! Cause I’m not trying to stay a thousand-aire forever.