Sunday, December 28, 2008

Is This A Joke

I sincerely hope this is McDonald's version of a joke. Because if it's not then I may take offense to this stupid attempt of R&B. Not that R&B is so great these days.. but not all black people listen to such crappy music. When I look at some commercials I wonder who are they trying to attract...who is their demographic audience, what are they trying to do. Seriously....when you look at this video do you think they want you to laugh or start dancing down to McDonald's singing their "catchy" tune?

Can you imagine a boardroom full of white people attempting to come up with a concept that will attract young black people to McDonald's. I can envision them turning on their local R&B station for inspiration. They hear Lil Wayne asking a woman to lick him like a lollipop.....then they hear T-Pain get frustrated when a stripper will not cuddle up with him and he feels chopped and screwed...then Beyonce lets them know that a diva is a female version of a hustler and finally they listen to Jamie Fox explain how is girlfriend is just like him......popping bottles in the club and giving all the dudes hugs.

With all that inspiration they came up with the wonderful mcnugget song. By favorite line is "girl you got a ten piece don't be stinggaaaay"

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

You Are NOT the Father

Imagine the mail man asking you to sign for a letter addressed to your cousin. You like many others would sign without second guessing your actions. Well this is where all hell broke loose on poor Walter Sharpe.

You see Walter signed for a certified letter addressed to Andre Sharpe. The letter ordered Andre Sharpe to attend a child support conference in Dauphin County, where Andre’s baby mother lived at the time. Shortly after signing for the letter for his cousin, several letters began showing up in Walters mail box ordering him to come to child support court for Andre’s daughter. Walter believed it was a mistake and ignored all the letters sent to him by the courts.

When Andre nor Walter showed to the child support hearing the judge ruled Walter as the father of Andre’s child. Although Walter was paying child support for his own four children: the county family welfare agency began garnishing wages from his job to support Andre’s daughter. Walter paid 12,000 towards the care of his cousin’s child between 2002-2005

To make matters worse Walter served four six-month jail terms for not keeping up with support payments and lost his job. Petitions he filed for DNA testing were opposed by the court’s domestic relations officials and denied by the judge.

In May 2007, the paternity order against Walter Sharpe was overturned after the girl’s mother and grandmother failed to show up to a court hearing. But the judge ruled in October that Walter Sharpe was not entitled to compensation. The judge claimed that Walter brought this whole tragedy on himself when he ignored the letters urging him to come to court.

And to add further salt to the wound, Andre had been taking care of the child financially from birth. Andre obtained legal custody of the child in late 2006. The baby mama took advantage of the system… she knew full well that Walter was not the child ‘s father. I’m not sure of the mother circumstances but I hope she is looking forward to the big ole kick in the ass from karma. But this crap does not lay solely on the shoulders of baby mama…where the hell was Andre when his cousin was going through this drama? Why didn’t he show up to court with his cousin and claim the child? Then there is the system… they are quick to pull people in and slow on rectifying the problem.

I truly hope this guy gets compensated and if possible the baby mama prosecuted and the judge kicked off the bench for incompetency. Yeah I know I am dreaming but that’s what they deserve.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Why Your White Neighbors Are Moving

I was browsing the web and came across a study done by Du Bois Review: Social Science Research on Race. Researchers at the University of Illinois, Chicago and the University of Michigan surveyed a large representative sample of households in Chicago and Detroit. As part of this highly innovative study, every participant was handed a laptop and was asked to view a series of video clips showing different neighborhoods. The set of neighborhoods remained constant. But the video was altered to manipulate their make up, to show either whites populating the neighborhood, or blacks or a mixed-race population.

The study sought to determine was "whether whites are colorblind in their evaluations of neighborhoods or whether racial composition still matters—even when holding constant the quality of the neighborhood." The results clearly show that whites rated the neighborhood much more favorably when whites dominated the make-up. And the more negative the stereotypes a white individual held of African Americans generally, the more likely they were to negatively rate the identical neighborhood with a visible black presence.

I am not surprised by the results, although in many cities gentrification is taking place everyday. St. Louis is a very segregated town and many of the best areas are populated with a majority of white people. The sad thing to me is when black people get a little money they follow the white people. The study found that blacks did judge schools to be of higher quality in mixed-race and all-white neighborhoods. I often wondered if black people could imagine a beautiful, safe and productive all black neighborhood. Would my people still value an all black neighborhood if there were no white folks in site or would it been seen as another ghetto, regardless of class or income.

What aggravates me even further is “white flight”. When too many black people move in a neighborhood white people begin to slowly but surely move out . Yet some of us continue to chase them…hoping to happily co-exist. Personally I would love to live in a productive all black neighborhood. I would love my kids to attend an all black school, with great funding and teachers that care. But I know this can never happen until blacks have a change of mind set, black home ownership increase, and we begin demanding a better education for our kids. Just for the record I am not a segregationist , but I would like to see black people place value in one another. White is not always right ya know.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Holiday Dress Debacle

I think I am having a mental breakdown relating to weight issues. Over the last 4-5 years I have gain some serious weight. Most of the weight was put on due to depression, not to mention I love rich chocolaty deserts. Any who, over the 4-5 years I've managed to pack on 60 additional pounds. I know it did not happen over night but now that it has happened I really feel upset about the whole situation.

For the first time in my life I feel like I was discriminated for being overweight. Now I am a bit insecure with my weight so I may be over reacting, but we all know in most cases what we perceive and feel become real....regardless if it's true or not. So last week my job had it's annual holiday bash and I wanted to look as cute as possible. I went to Macy's to find a semi-formal holiday/cocktail dress. I went up to the first sales lady and asked her where I could find a semi-formal cocktail dress, she looked at me briefly and said, "You need to go down stairs". Now I came in down stairs and I did not see any clothes on that floor. I figured the lady was confused so I asked another sales lady the same question. She said, "What size are you looking for", feeling a bit embarrassed I replied, " Um.... size 16 will be fine" she said, "You'll find what you are looking for down stairs."

So I decided I would go back down the escalator because maybe I missed something coming in. I got a panoramic view of the floor coming down the escalator and all I see is stoves, refrigerators, Christmas trees, power tools and washing machines. I wonder around and in a small dimly lit section next to the refrigerator section there appear to be an area with clothes. I ask the sales lady, " Where are your semi-formal dresses", again she ask, "what size do you wear?" With a tinge of frustration I let her know that I wear a size 16. She then says, "All the dresses we have in that size are on the back wall." I turn around and see about 6 dresses on the wall, of course they were all ugly, frumpy and down right horrible looking.

I was pissed. I yelled this is Macy's damn it...all y'all got in the whole fucking Macy's in a size 16 is six dresses. You gotta be kidding, not to mention the plus size section is in the basement next to a damn Frigidaire. Needless, to say I stormed off feeling less than beautiful...fat and did I say pissed off.

Not to worry I found a dress but I had to look at quite a few dress,at quite a few stores before I found it. I just don't understand why people seem to think that overweight people are less than human, like we don't have any money to spend. Or worst than that, if we spend our money we will take whatever we can get. The design or fit doesn't matter.

I will be doing a few post of my weight loss mission so expect a few more posting regarding this issue. Because as much as I love to eat I have to lose the weight. It won't be easy.....but yall gonna hear all about it

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Pre Turkey Day Ramblings

Hello Internet friends and family. I hope everyone is gearing up to have a fabulous turkey day. Today I enjoyed a day off from work that was truly needed. I relaxed at the beauty salon and toured a gym today, otherwise I just chilled. I love days when I have time to relax, I don’t feel rushed, I can drive like a normal person and just take my time…..loves it.

I have not spent thanksgiving with my family in a few years so I am kind of excited. My grandma is baking me a 7-up (my fav) and I can’t wait to get into her kitchen and throw down! Yeah I know I am suppose to be on a diet ……but one day of good eating won’t kill me.

Let’s not forget this a time for thanksgiving… be thankful. Yes times are rough, but if you are healthy, have friends and family that love you, you have something to be thankful for. Remember someone out there has it worst than you, so it could always be worst.

I wish you and your family a wonderful, fabulous and outstanding thanksgiving. Peace and blessings to you and yours.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Gays Mad As Hell At Black Folks

In my mind California has always represented a place where anything goes. A place where full of liberal minded people that accepted folks they way they were.
Well it seems that prop 8 has shown a different side of Cali. Instead of the state making a firm decision on gay marriage they place the burden on the people. Prop 8 represents a ban on gay marriage. The voters had an opportunity to decide if gay marriage had a home in California. Surprisingly , the people decided to ban gay marriage in California.


There seem to be a big fat finger pointing at black people. According to the Washington Post:

Seven in 10 African Americans who went to the polls voted yes on Proposition 8, the ballot measure overruling a state Supreme Court judgment that legalized same-sex marriage and brought 18,000 gay and lesbian couples to Golden State courthouses in the past six months.

It is believed that blacks voted for the ban on gay marriage due to religious beliefs and homophobic reactions. It is not a secret that the black community is not accepting of gay people and as a black person I feel this may have played a critical part in the decision of black voters.

However , there is another component that could have swayed the black vote. The gay community says the ban on gay marriage is comparable to the civil right violations that blacks endured. This may have angered some black people…. Cuz it sure as hell angers me. Gay marriage is a issue but I would not place it in the same category as blacks and the civil rights. I’m not going to say that a person chooses to be gay because some feel they were born gay. People can hide their sexual preference, people can not hide their skin color.

What I find disturbing is the racism shown towards black when prop 8 did not past. There was a protest in West Hollywood , many blacks were referred to as niggers and blamed for the banning of gay marriage. Rod 2.0 reported the following

Geoffrey, a student at UCLA joined the massive protest outside the Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Westwood. Geoffrey was called the n-word at least twice.

“It was like being at a klan rally except the klansmen were wearing Abercrombie polos and Birkenstocks. YOU NIGGER, one man shouted at men. If your people want to call me a FAGGOT, I will call you a nigger. Someone else said same thing to me on the next block near the and my friend were walking, he is also gay but Korean, and a young WeHo clone said after last night the niggers better not come to West Hollywood if they knew what was BEST for them.”

Los Angeles resident Ronald says he and his boyfriend, who are both black, were carrying NO ON PROP 8 signs and still subjected to racial abuse.
Three older men accosted my friend and shouted, "Black people did this, I hope you people are happy!" A young lesbian couple with mohawks and Obama buttons joined the shouting and said there were "very disappointed with black people" and "how could we" after the Obama victory.

Gays and lesbians if you listening blacks did not cause your community to lose out on prop 8. Let’s face it…it’s not enough black people in the state of California to swing an ENTIRE vote. There has to be some participation from other races. And for all the white gay folks…chill out with all the name calling. It’s not necessary to get throw racial blows, especially when the gay community fights against being called names like bull dagger, dikes and faggots.

Personally I believe that gays should be allowed the right to marry. I’m not concened with the religious side. God is the only one who can judge. Gay and lesbian people are not hurting anyone by loving one another. But I no longer live in California so my opinion or vote don’t count. But I can see this issue going to the Supreme Court.

What’s your opinion is gay marriage a civil rights issue?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Meet the New First Family

The people have spoken and they have chosen Barack H. Obama to be their fierce leader. To that I shout, "Thank You Lord, This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Seriously folks, my heart is so full of pride it could bust. This is history and I feel honored to be apart of it. Many black people were overwhelmed with emotions, tears flowed like the Mississippi River. I know the ancestors were in heaven dancing.

To me the emotions shown by many blacks represented the pinned up aggression that we all have learned to live with. The silent non spoken of glass ceiling was shattered last night. Yes we've always been told that we can be whatever we wanted.. but we never dared believe we can hold the highest position in the land.

But today is a new day. Yea I know racism and other injustices will not end today, but I feel this is the bridge to change. Also I feel confidant in telling my nephews with hard work, determination, character and integrity you can do and be ANYTHING.

Did y'all see when Michelle and the girls came on stage... it was pure magic. I love the way this man loves his wife and kids. It's a love so deep, it's more of a thing than an emotion. You can almost see the love this man has for his family. I desire to obtain a love similar to what Barack and Michelle have.

Anyway..... I partied until 3am. I was feeling good last night and when I went to work this morning I was all smiles. Many of my co-workers were smiling and laughing and talking about where they were when they heard the news.

However, there was some people who was still sour about McCain losing. They really did not want to talk about it and for the first time in two years did not want to talk about politics. Last week I could not get these same folks to shut up, oh well.

Did ya'll see all those people in Grant Park last night. The people in Chi Town represented last night didn't they. They said it was at least a million people there to hear Obama speak last night. There were people of all ages, shades and backgrounds. I especially got tickled when I saw about a thousand people dancing and celebrating in front of the white house. I bet George was a lil pissed to see people outside his door celebrating the end of his term. Not to mention the people all over the United States blaming him for this mess and voting in record numbers to make sure that the republicans did not stand a chance. The republicans probably hate George and Sarah Palin right about now

Please keep Obama and his family in your prayers. I do worry that someone may try to harm him. I may be over cautious but we are still in Amerikkka, and a total change has not taken place.

In the words of Sam....It's been a long, long time coming but I know change gon come...oh yes it will

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Making History Tonight

Oh my Gosh Obama may actually win. May we are having a watch party at my house and we are partying like it's 1999. The faces about are the faces of voters that will hopefully help Obama become the First Black President of the United States Of America.

I went to vote at 5:30am this morning and I was full of energy and hyped. I never felt so on purpose. I felt like for the first time in a long time the world would hear my voice and the voice of many other Americans as we screamed "we want change" with our votes.

I've never seen so many people pumped up about an election. This election brought everybody out. While in line to vote there was so much love generating from the people in line. People were sharing chairs,food and making the best out of what could have possibly been a long wait.

I am so excited for our country. This time I think we can really do it. This time I think we are gonna take. The word says "Take it by force" and I believe that is exactly what is gonna happen tonight. John McCain might as well get ready to go back to the Senate because the Obamas got 1600 Pennsylvania street decorated already.

So far McCain is winning in Missouri but only 49% of the polls are reporting. But lets face it some people will never vote for Obama regardless of how qualifed he is.


Saturday, October 25, 2008

A Deadly Cocktail....Red Neck and Ignorance

Can you believe this lady feels that black people will take over America? Well I guess I would be scared too if I felt that way. Scared that I would have to pay for 400+ years of mental and physical slavery, abuse in every form of discrimination.

People get out and vote. This is our chance to silence ignorance, let your voice be heard. The lines will be long, there will be some problems, but whatever you do, do not leave the poll without voting.

Don't wake up on Nov 5th saying...damn he didn't win I should have voted. People died for your right to vote, don't let their blood be shed in vain.


Friday, October 24, 2008

Celebrities Are People Too!

Often I see celebrities and think wow they got it made. The lead such wonderful lives. Most of them are drop dead gorgeous ( Beyonce), young black and famous with money hanging out the anus ( Lil Wayne… anyone). Many seem to have more money than they know what to do with and can say fuck the world because I’m a millionaire ( Kimora). Lets not forget, be over the age of 40 and chosen as one of the most beautifulest people ( Halle).

While it’s easy to get envious, most of us are intelligent enough to know all that glitters aint gold. Behind the money, make-up and materialistic things lays a real person, with real feelings and real issues.

Today I learned of the tragic deaths of Jennifer Hudson’s mother and brother and thought I would hate to be famous under that condition. Wouldn’t you find it hard to grieve when all the world is watching, waiting on your response. Imagine a million cameras going off, when you are in the middle of the worse experience of your life. My heart and prayers goes out to the Hudson family as they deal with the death of their loved ones.

I imagine being a celebrity is a curse and a blessing. Most of these people had lives before they were famous and most of their lives were not so great. As a matter of fact, most of them came from nothing. But being a celebrity is about creating an illusion of perfection, something so untouchable that it can become a breeding ground of envy.

For instance, many women in the black community have a love/hate relationship with Beyonce Knowles-Carter. We love her because for the most part she is a positive self respecting black woman. But some people envy her because it seems like this woman never makes a mistake and everything she touches turns to pure gold. She seems to have it all; the looks, the career, the multi-millionaire husband, a multi-millionaire herself and to top it all off she is drop dead gorgeous.

Well I must admit her life does seems nice. But the woman cant go outside without being all glammed up or she is on the front page of some magazine. When was the last time you heard about her going out kicking it with her girlfriends? As a matter of fact, when was the last time you saw an A – list celebrity doing anything normal, like going to church, drinking a cup of coffee on the porch, taking the kids to the park, grocery shopping… ya know normal everyday stuff. They give up part of themselves to be celebrities.

Not to mention, being perfect is ( or thought of as perfect) is overrated. Life is lived not in the details but in the quirks and ups and downs of living. The next time you read something about a celebrity that is embarassing, funny or stupid… give’em a break. We do the same things without a million or so people watching, deciphering and judging.

Remember all that glitters aint gold and you never know what a person gave up to get what they got.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Gateway to the White House

This Saturday I attended the Obama rally held in St. Louis and man was it a sight. First of all I've never seen so many people in one place. Usually I avoid crowed places like the plague, but this was different I had to be there. This was history in the making and I wanted to witness it with my own eyes.

St. Louis is one of they most racially segregated cites in the United States. There has always been a black side of town and a white side of town. Of course there are sections that are mixed but even those mixed sections only have a small number of black families. Well it seemed that racism and other issues were placed on the side lines at the Obama rally.

It felt like post 911. You know that we are all American feelings people had during that time. Yeah it was totally that vibe going on. Which I can understand because everyone is feeling the pinch in this economy, regardless of race, creed or color.

What surprised me was they said a prayer before the rally began. I did not think they would interject prayer into the rally but they did. I was just praying that nothing negative popped off at the rally. Can you believe it was 100,000 people at the rally! Man there was soooo many entre-po-negros at the rally. People were selling bootleg t-shirts left and right, heck I was telling my friend we missed out on a money making opportunity.

All in all I really enjoyed myself and was very happy to see so many people from different back grounds. Everybody from the thug to the senior citizens came out to represent at the rally. Y'all already know that Obama got my vote, just make sure you vote on Nov 4th.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Random Ramblings

Tonight I’m in chill mode and don’t feel like doing a thang. My house looks like a tornado blew threw but I’m stepping over clothes, forgoing dusting, not washing the dishes and forget about the damn floors….didn’t I say I was chilling.

Right now I am watching Real Housewives of ATL. These women are a trip, most of these women are depending on their men money. One women is waiting on a 7 figure divorce settlement, one woman is married to an NBA player, one woman admits she has a suga daddy , the other woman has a wealthy husband , only one has a job……and guess what her husband is an injured NFL player that was released from his contract, so right now he is unemployed: he works for her.

The NBA wife looks exhausted while getting the kids ready for school. Never mind, she has a chef cooking breakfast, all she has to do is get the kids up and get them dressed, and she acts likes she is working her fingers to the bone. But its good entertainment. Other than that it comes across as a bunch of spoiled, no depth, materialist, self absorb women with a show.

I went to the mall and spent way too much. Am I the only person that ever have shoppers remorse? I knew I should have left those dresses at the mall…… but I was bored and felt shopping would cure my blues. Now I’m looking for the receipt to take the dresses back and I can’t find it. I don’t feel too bad cuz sometimes you gotta treat yourself to something nice…...... right.

With that in mind, I gotta get everything straight because I want to buy a home the end of 2009. Right now the banks ain’t lending money to NOBODY. This credit crunch is giving me an opportunity to get my funds together while the banks are thawing out. So I won’t be blowing money again no time soon. You gotta do what you gotta do to get what you want.

Y’all remember when I was exercising and losing weight. Well that’s over, not that I want it to be, but I have not been doing what’s right. First of all, I’ve been eating fast food like my name is hamburgular. As soon as I get home, if I eat or not, I go straight to sleep. Of course I wake up like an hour before I have to be at work so I jump out of the bed running. I get to work and eat a muffin that ‘s about 400 calories and I snack all day. I think I’m going to join weight watchers. I know I can do it myself, but the support does help. I need to get healthier, but with all the drama in my life and my family life I let my healthy habits slip. But I’ll get back on the good foot soon.

Well I talk with ya’ll later it’s past my bed time… Holla

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

My City Is Bleeding Red

If you follow my blog you know I live in the murder capital of the United States, St. Louis, MO. OMG it’s getting bad out here. I knew it would get bad as the economy got worse but I never knew it would get this bad.

I am so paranoid I try not to go out at night. So many innocent people have been killed, you have to be careful of your surroundings at all time.

Recently a young man killed another man over a……...... Cheeseburger!

The victim is 26-year-old Carl Sharp. The name of the 16-year-old suspect has not been released.

Sharp returned home around 12:30 a.m. Sunday after purchasing three cheeseburgers at a Rally's restaurant, police said. The suspect apparently became angry because he had requested two burgers, not three, and an argument began.

The men ate the sandwiches and the suspect left. A short time later, police say the teen returned and shot Sharp three times. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
The 16-year-old fled the scene on a bicycle and was taken into custody Sunday afternoon.

Sharp was a recent college graduate who is survived by his wife and two children.

Think that is crazy it gets worse.

The north side of St. Louis is one of the most violent places in the city. People on this side of town live in fear. The children play outside at their own risk, elderly walk their dogs while keeping an eye on local gang activity. Dope dealers do deals in the light of day and police can't keep up with all the criminal activity, so they only show up to pick up the dead bodies.

Saturday two murders took place within 30 minutes of each other. The alderman of the area got so fed up he got on the local new station and advised all law abiding citizens to go buy guns.

Alderman Troupe says something needs to be done to take control, “it kills the good kids, along with the bad. They are in danger if they join a gang and they are in danger if they don’t join a gang, so it’s a lose lose situation for us.”

Troupe is encouraging his constituents to arm themselves for protection, but also wants them to call police “your only challenge is to stay alive until police get there and the only way for you to do that, in many cases, is to own a gun, know how to use it, and more importantly know when to use it.”

I am deathly afraid of guns, but I live alone and I often think about getting one. I live in the city, but in a "lower" area. But crime happens everywhere, there is no totally safe place.

I've personally lost two family members to murder this year, so this really hits home for me. Please pray for our city, cuz the way it's looking it's gonna get worse before it get better

Monday, September 29, 2008

A Nite At the Movies

Friday night I went to see Miracle at St. Ana. This is the new Spike Lee joint. I was really excited to see this movie because it explored the black experience in WWII. The media rarely shows any depiction what it was like to be black in the military prior to desegregation.

This film kept me guessing and thinking. It's complex in nature because you're constantly thinking what can happen next. You'll develop a love for the characters and find yourself rooting for their safety.

The film also explores the racism in that era with the tense interaction between the black solders and their white superiors. During that time the military felt it was important to place southern white men over black soldiers. In the mind of military officials southern men knew how to keep black men in order. Of course this was a recipe for disaster.

Miracle at St Ana vividly displays how black men were willing to die for a country that did not allow them basic freedom. How they were respected in other countries such as Italy, but treated as sub human in their own country. Yet these men put their very life on the line.

The man in the picture above is my granddaddy. He is a WWII veteran. Every time he speaks of the time he served he stands a little taller and smiles a bit wider. As a matter of fact, my grandaddy is the most patriotic person in my family. He believes the USA has the strongest, baddest and most fierce military on planet earth. He never talked greasy about the US Army no matter how bad they treated him.

I recommend you go see this movie, you will truly be enlightened. What I didn't understand was the lack of people at the opening night. There was about 32 people in the theater on opening night. I was a bit saddened because I knew that most people in my city would probably see the film on boot-leg. I really wanted us to go out and support Spike. Spike has a hard time getting financing for most of his movies. And most of his movies represent the lives of black people, yet we are the very people who don't show support.

If you have the money and the time please support Spike Lee's effort.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Flex Tells The Truth About R. Kelly Interview

I totally agree with Funk Master Flex. I was disgusted with the interview R. Kelly gave BET. Y'all know that was some bullsh*t how this man get on national television and ask "what do you mean teenager?" This man has totally disrespected his fan base by thinking everybody stupid. We all seen the tape, heard the the testimony and know about Aaliyah.

Toure was a straight punk. He did not ask the tough questions. Barbara Walters would've came at his azz like a real pro. By the end of the interview ole Babs would've had him confessing and crying, ask McCain. Not to mention BET in my opinion, has ruined a whole generation of kids.

I refuse to buy or bootleg any R. Kelly C.D.'s. The man is a pedophile pure and simple. I can't see how any mother or father could support this type of negro. That's like giving financial support to a serial rapist. Black people are the most forgiving people on earth. But we must draw the line somewhere. We must say enough is enough.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Oprah Is a Rider

Last week I heard a few (mainly white) women chose to boycott Oprah because she would not have Sarah Palin on her show. Initially I chose to ignore this mess, but now the Florida’s Federation of Republican Women (FFRW) has chosen to take this boycott nationally, I must say something.

The FFRW feels that Palin has recharged the political game. They feel she has brought…um…uh…eh.. freshness and zeal into the fight. Many feel that Oprah being the “Talk Show Queen” and the epitome of strong woman-ness should welcome Palin to her coach with open arms.

Now Oprah being Oprah politely responded by saying that she has already chosen her candidate and it would be unfair to bring the opposition on her show and claim to have some form of objectivity. As a matter of fact, Oprah says she will not use her show as a political platform for ANY candidate. The last time Barak Obama was on her show was in 2006, before he formally announced his plan to run for president.

Before I start my rant let me first say…. I love Oprah. I know many people have their gripes about her, but to me she is the true representation ingenuity. When we first met Oprah she was an overweight, dark skinned, jerri-curl wearing, less than attractive, over made up wanna be talk show host. But Ms. Winfery quickly figured out how to become a billionaire by playing up to her audience. For years she never took sides politically and she never did anything that would make her look negative in the eyes of her viewers. See Oprah had a plan, many thought she was a fool, thought she was playing up to the white majority. But all Oprah was doing was bidding her time and stacking her chips.

Now sistah girl got mo stacks that she can ever count and feels like she can do and say what ever the hell she pleases. And she can! WTF…. The show is called THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW, she can talk about whatever she want to. Oprah ain’t no rookie, she is at a point where she can express her feelings about where she stands in the world and if the people don’t like it ….. they know what they can do. Finally, Oprah is taking a stand on something and not letting what other people think, feel or say get in her way.

Personally I think the FFRW need to get a life. Maybe they can book Palin on Tyra Banks’s show she talks to any and everybody. But they need to find them a new target, cause Oprah already a billionaire… she don’t give a damn about no boycott. I don’t subscribe to O’s magazine… but after this I will be making it my personal business to get a subscription.

Let’s not even talk about the FFRW being a Florida based group. We all know how Florida jacked up the last election, don’t be starting no bullsh*t, ya’ll here me Floridians.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Lost Art Professinalism

I am having a dilemma at work and it is getting on my last nerve. One of my co-workers is so relaxed at work that he calls me "shortie". He'll walk past my desk and say " Is everything okay shortie, how you doing shortie". Let me tell you, that sh*t burns me up. Of course he is a young black man, who I feel does not appreciate his position or stature at work.

Our office dress code is business casual, but ole boy shows up to work with sports jerseys and jordans damn near everyday. If he doesn't wear that he will break out with the extra baggy jeans and extra extra long shirt.

When he is not calling me "shortie" he is butchering other co-workers name. For example, if your name was nicole, he'll start calling you nik-nik. One co-worker rolls her eyes every time he butchers her name.

To make matters worse, this dude thinks he is phyne... he is okay but phyne he is not. But he is constantly out of his seat trolling the building for women. He will tell my department that he is leaving to discuss a matter with billing. He'll be gone for 20-30 minutes and someone will say... ole dude is in the lobby cheesing up in some woman's face. Don't get me wrong he does work... just not as much as everyone else in the group.

These type of people also want to be seen as a person with a wealth on knowledge.
Everytime we are in a meeting or the big boss comes along here his azz go running his mouth like he knows what he is talking about, trying to represent the group and someone has to shut him up before he makes everyone look stupid.

I know the person that hired him and she assures me that he did well in the interview and seemed to have all the right answers. She feels she took a hit on her character for hiring him. Her words were, "I was bamboozled".

I love my job and I fought hard to get this promotion. My department was created to resolve specialized company issues. I was shocked that they hired an all black team to head this department. But I was happy they placed their trust in us to resolve the company's issues. I want to help the man because he is a young brother... but he just does not get it.

My co-workers and I have had meeting with him to discuss some of this issues.. but it is like talking to a brick wall. At this point I don't know what to do.. got any suggestions?

Monday, September 1, 2008

Girl's Nite Out

Wow I’ve been working like crazy. My job has offered me unlimited over time and I’ve been working like a Hebrew slave…whew. Twenty hours of overtime a week is very tiring and my social life (and blogging life) has been in the proverbial toilet.

However, this Saturday it was on and popping. My girlfriends and I had a girl’s nite out and we went home drunk and happy. This week was the blues festival so we went to the festival ate great bar-b-que and watched some phyne men sing the blues. Then we decided to go to the comedy club… of course everything is funnier when you’re drunk. I laughed really hard. You know those deep belly laughs, I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. I heard laughing was good for the soul and I believe it’s true.

Then after the comedy club we went to a real upscale bar (yeah more drinks). As we enjoyed ourselves men would come by and buy us a round a drinks. I was totally floored each time… I thought that was a thing that happened back in the day. Each man would comment on how we seemed to be having a genuine good time, acting like we were the only people in the bar.

That night I went to bed with a smile on my face. Before you ask…..I went home alone. The smile was on my face because I forgot how good it felt just to have a good time with my friends. Most times I am focusing on my goals and my problems so much I forget to just live life.

Life with its ups and down is still a beautiful thing. Life is truly a golden opportunity ..make the best of it.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Behind Every Good Man....

Is a strong woman. OMG I just finished watching the Democratic National Convention and I must admit Michelle did a phenomenal job. As I listened to her speak my eyes welled up with tears of joy.

I was filled with pride and admiration. Michelle inspires me to push further, harder and beyond my circumstances. This speech touched every demographic in America regardless of race, creed or color.

Who can't relate to a woman coming from an average background putting herself through school to become highly successful. Tonight Michelle present herself as every woman, she appealed to the single mother, the wife, the parent and the grandparent. Pretty much anyone that every had to fight to obtain a piece of the so called American pie should be able to relate to the Obamas'.

I would love to see Cindy McCain speak at the Republic Convention. Maybe she knows how many homes they own. Cindy has been very quiet compared to Michelle, but she may be able to give the American people a different perspective of John McCain.... not that I care.

Michelle did what no other wife of a presidential nominee has ever done, which is speak at the convention. She has raised the bar for future first ladies, we no longer expect them to be trophy wives. After Nancy Reagan and Hilary Clinton we all know how influential first ladies can be to their husbands. So it's very important to know where they stand too!

Michelle, thank you for showing America what a majority of black women represent on a daily basis. You are truly an inspiration.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Single and Satisfied

Today single black women face tough odds when it comes to obtaining a mate. As many of you have heard time and time again 45% of black women have never been married and the divorce rate has an average of 50%. They beat us over the head with this fact don’t they.

Most of us don’t have time to think and/or care about the statistics . But in the mean time and in between time how does one stay single and satisfied? Personally, I’ve had my share of unhealthy relationships and bed buddies; with age and wisdom my whole dating criteria has changed.

In my teens and twenties I just had to be “boo’ed” up all the time. Sometimes I really liked the person I was with, other times they were just something to do until the next best thing came along. After spending years on a rollercoaster ride of relationships, I began to get woozy, off balanced and empty: the ride was no longer fun. It wasn’t worth waiting in line, the anticipation wore off and I ran screaming out of the amusement park of bad relationships.

At this point in my life I’d rather be single and never married than to be with someone who is not right for me. It’s tiring starting over again..and again… and again.. and again…and again. I don’t think it’s worth it. As women, most of us know what we want in a man: I just haven’t figured out why we accept those that don’t meet our standards. Why deal with all the rehabs… ya know the fixer uppers, the ones with potential.

Women over the age of 28 don’t have the time or energy to deal with fixer-uppers. Most women have their stuff together at this age. Many of us are buying homes, creating businesses, graduating from college, pursuing advance degrees and running for political office like never before.

No longer are we sitting at home waiting on the phone to ring… we will take ourselves out. Trust me, I’ve been to movies, plays, wineries and vacations all by my damn self. I love doing things that I like and I will not wait until a man shows up to live my life…. Nor should you.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Trying To Keep It Together

I feel so empty today a bit off base. Today was my uncle’s funeral and I decided not to go, for my own personal sanity. I absolutely hate funerals, they make me mentally ill. So to save myself grieve I decided to go to work today. As a matter of fact to keep my mind busy I decided to work 11 hours. But guess what I kept peeping the time and around the time of the funeral my stomach got all tied up in knots, felt like I wanted to vomit and generally felt alone.

Not going to the funeral did not totally solve my problem. But I knew it would have been 10x worst if I had actually gone and peeked inside the casket. Honestly I am trying to keep it together; Sometimes it’s easy other times it’s hard.

My uncle was killed by someone close to our family and my emotions are everywhere. I know the person did not try to kill him… but the outcome is the same. I believe in God and the word says

TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,
A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,
A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
This says to me that while on this earth I will experience a multitude of joy, pain, peace, turmoil, happiness, love and hate. I remember I read somewhere that we were spiritual beings having a human experience, and truly I believe that.
I just hate thinking about my own immortality and that is what funerals make me think about. But on the other hand I think about how short his life really is. How important it is to live life to the fullest and fulfill your purpose. These past few days I’ve asked myself if I am living my life to the fullest, if I’m squeezing every drop out.
It’s becoming more and more important to me that I live a happy life. Not a live filled with complaints, unfulfilled dreams, and blurbs of happiness. So now I try not to trip off of things too hard. Stand up for what I believe with the understanding that we all may not get along.

There is no point in trying to make everyone happy. When I get down, I will no longer stay down. I will consciously try to move past things that don’t enhance or benefit my life. Balance is the key

Monday, August 11, 2008

RIP Uncle Jabbo

While many are mourning the loss of Bernie Mac... I am mourning Uncle Jab. Today my favorite uncle died and I am all messed up about it. When things like death come around everything during that time become singed in my mind. I will remember where I was at when I heard the news, what songs came on the radio, what I ate, what it smelled like and what I was feeling when I found out.

Years later I can hear the song I heard moments after the death of a loved one, and I will immediately associate the song with their death. But death of a loved one always brings my own mortality to the fore front. Like, I know one day I will die, but I can not say that I am looking forward to it. Death makes me reflect on my own life and my happiness.

You only get one life and ideally you want it to be full of joy, happiness, love and peace. When I think of loved ones that passed on I try to determine if they lived a full life and if they knew that that day would have been their last day what would they have said or did.

I often wonder did God come to them, if they had an out of body experience, if an angel escorted them to the pearly gates or if it's all a lie. Honestly, I am afraid of death, people tell me "if you know where you stand with God then there is no need to be afraid." But I am afraid of the unknown... afraid it may hurt, afraid of leaving what I know and afraid of being forgotten.

My uncle Jabbo was the baby boy of 12 kids. He was funny and very loving. He never
took himself too seriously, just a good guy. I hated to see him go, I know that's a
selfish statement..... but it's true. I HATE funerals, I hate seeing people laying there all stiff, in a wax like state. It's 1:20am and I can not get my uncle and his death off my mind.

I'm so tired of death.... I really just had dealing with the entire process. It's hard to see my family in such a sad state. I just pray we can get through this and keep his memory alive.

I love and miss you uncle jab..... rest in GOD's peace

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Prison Rehabilitation….. The BIG Con Game.

I must admit, I know more than a few ex-cons. Some are family members, friends, associates and friends of friends. They all have one thing in common…. the inability to start a fresh new beginning. Imagine trying to find a job in these rough economic conditions, and then imagine being a convicted felon and trying to find a job.

This year American prisons will release more than 600,000 inmates. To put it another way, a city with a population larger than Washington, D.C., leaves prison every year. By 2010 the prison system will annually release 1.2 million, according to University of California, Irvine, criminologist Joan Petersilia,

Millions of men and women face blatant job discrimination everyday. I’ve personally witnessed a man’s self esteem and self worth be crushed to pieces. In many cases when a job is found, it is often minimum wage doing menial task. I watched as my friend filled out hundreds of applications and going on many interviews only to be told, “Sorry we can’t hire you with a felony on your record.” Hey never mind the felony occurred 10 years ago.

Prisons do not offer job training or anything that will assist the prisoner upon released. We must give these people a fighting change if they are to make it. Yes, they made a mistake, but they have paid the price. Is it fair that they continue to pay the price for the rest of their lives?

Sadly, many ex-cons find themselves facing incarceration again due to the inability of finding decent employment. Nearly two-thirds of ex-inmates were re-arrested on serious charges within three years, and 41 percent were reconvicted and returned to prison.

My question is with 1.3 million people in prison, how can we continue to let employers discriminate against such a large group of people? How can we not equip these people with the tools required to succeed and finally why is the re-entry rate so high? I will give you three reasons.

Convicted felons are unable to vote. Elected officials feel it unnecessary to give precedence to people who can not help elect them? They treat felons as an invisible group who don’t deserve their service or attention

The prison business is big money. Privatization of prisons brings in billions of dollars for those who choose to get in the corrections game. According to Edwin Bender, executive director of the Institute on Money in State Politics, private prison companies strongly favor states with the toughest sentencing laws, in essence the ones that are more likely to come up with the bodies to fill prison beds. Those states, adds Bender, are also the ones most likely to have passed three-strikes laws.

A recent report from the Montana-based Institute on Money in State Politics reveals that during the 2002 and 2004 election cycles, private prison companies, directors, executives and lobbyists gave $3.3 million to candidates and state political parties across 44 states.

So you see it’s all a sham… a big revolving door. It is set up for the inmate to fail; the ultimate goal is recidivism, not success. With so many people in the African American community affected by this issue, it’s time we do something about this. I plan on writing my congressman, alder (wo)man and who ever else will listen.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Luv’n It

Well it’s Friday and I must admit that I am ready for the weekend. It seems like this week lasted a month. Anyway, I was looking at videos the other day and came across my new anthem.

Ms Keys hit the nail on the head when she made Superwoman. I LOVE this song. It is so refreshing and inspiring. The lyrics let people know that even when women are a mess, we still gotta be somebody superwoman.

We got issues…. But the kids are still hungry, we still gotta go to work, we still going to school to get the degree, our men need our support, the house need cleaning, the clothes need washing, gotta take the kids to practice and finally take care of ourselves. If that is not a superwoman I don’t know what is.

Here are the lyrics to my new favorite song.


Everywhere I'm turning
Nothing seems complete
I stand up and I'm searching
For the better part of me
I hang my head from sorrow
state of humanity
I wear it on my shoulders
Gotta find the strength in me

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

For all the mothers fighting
For better days to come
And all my women, all my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun
And all my sisters
Coming together
Say yes I will
Yes I can

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

When I'm breaking down
And I can't be found
And I start to get weak
Cause no one knows
Me underneath these clothes
But I can fly
We can fly, Oh

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Even when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Congress says.... I'M SORRY BLACK FOLKS

The week the United States Congress issued an apology for enslavement of millions of Africans. Honestly I don’t know how I feel about this so called apology. I am not happy, I am not sad but mostly I’m indifferent. It’s like when I was a kid; I used to make all kind of promises and apologies while secretly crossing my hands behind my back.

I mean really folks do you think America is sorry for slavery? Have you heard the apologies from corporate entities like Chase, Aetna, FleetBoston Financial Corp, J.P. Morgan , and New York Life, all of which are multi-million/billion dollar companies say …Opps I’m sorry. What’s sorry about virtually free labor guaranteeing profits for your company? Even today it’s hard for blacks to rise to the top while working for these companies, so you know they are not sorry about slavery.

Slavery is still relevant today in America. Yes the chains were removed, there are no whips and every black man woman and child can roam free. But the effects of slavery has reared is ugly head in all forms of discrimination. Hurricane Katrina proved the value of black lives. Black men are beaten and killed by police and it’s no problem, the jails are filled to full capacity with black men and women, schools in the “urban” areas are underfunded and it’s been proven that the federal government was aware that foreigners were flooding black ghettos with crack.

I am not so diluted in the blame the white man game that I do not understand personal responsibility… because I do. However, a simple I’m sorry will not do. There is still so much to be done and the words I’m sorry doesn’t begin to mend all that is broken. I am not sure if I support reparations. But I do support things like more social services in black communities or companies that benefited from slavery offering scholarship programs specifically for African Americans. Don’t tell me your sorry……show me you’re sorry.

We were promised 40 acres and a mule, but today blacks (and Latinos) are the primary people affected by the mortgage meltdown. I hope one day this country can heal from all the affects of slavery and maybe saying sorry is the step in the right direction. I just hope that it transcends more than just an apology.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bon Voyage Fallopian Tubes Pt 2

Although I respected Dr. Kumar I could not accept this information as truth. How could this be, I’ve always wanted to be a mother, I’m a little over weight but I am healthy. I decided that it was a fluke there was no way I was deemed infertile. My heavy bleeding continued, but I lived with it because I did not want to think about blocked tubes and scar tissue.

A few months after seeing Dr. Kumar, my job transferred me back home. The heavy cramps became unbearable and the blood clots were getting bigger and bigger. I thought it was a good time to go back and see Dr. Thomas. I trusted Dr. Thomas; he always seemed to know what to do and what steps to take. Also he was spiritual and comforting, but I decided to keep my previous diagnosis to myself.

I told Dr. Thomas about my bleeding, cramps and blood clots. He recommends the vaginal ultra sound……again. I reluctantly agreed but prayed he would find something different than Dr. Kumar. I feverishly prayed for a miracle. However, that was not the case. The next week Dr Thomas pulled me into his office and explained that I had an extremely bad case of endometriosis.

If you are not familiar with endometriosis please visit

He verified that my tubes were blocked, one of ovaries had a cyst and that my uterus had a lot of scar tissue around it. Because he had already performed laparoscopic surgery four years prior he felt another procedure was needed. With great regret he recommended the removal of my tubes, the ovary, and a DNC to remove all the scar tissue. However, he wanted me to be prepared for a full hysterectomy if he found damage to the uterus.

I signed the papers consenting to surgery but I felt numb the entire time. I kept wondering why my body turned on me. Did I do something wrong and would men look at me as a whole woman? All of my friends have kids…. Heck even my baby sister have kids (we are 10 years apart). God I really did not want to deal with it.

I finally broke the news to my mama. She took it kind of hard at first. I did not realize how she was looking forward to me having kids. But my mother is a cervical cancer survivor and had a hysterectomy 12 years earlier so she was very supportive. I had the surgery on April 22nd, 2008. There was no hysterectomy, but the tubes and ovary was removed. I’ve accepted that I will not have children in the traditional way and know that it has no bearing on my womanhood.

I decided to tell my story because there are so many women suffering with issues of fibroids and endometriosis, that results in infertility. Many of us suffer in silence because we are ashamed to let people know what we are going through. This affects millions of women but affect Black women in larger numbers. If you notice blood clots, severe cramping and excessive bleeding during your menstrual cycle please bring it to the attention of your doctor. I ignored the signs for years. I thought my cramps were just a normal occurrence and never knew the difference between a cramp and a severe cramp. I waited too late to … but I hope this will prevent others from experiencing my misfortune.

I am not down or upset anymore. Thankfully I’ve moved on. Life is still a beautiful thing, even with its ups and down. Nobody ever promised all rainbows and sunshine.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Bon Voyage Fallopian Tubes Pt 1

For many years I suffered with painful cramps, sever bleeding and large clots. Most of the time I did my best to ignore the pain. However, after soaking pads and tampons in record time I knew something was wrong.

In 2004 I changed to a male gynecologist. Dr Thomas was well into his sixties but seemed to listen and give great advice. When I told him that I experienced severe bleeding and cramps during my menstrual cycle he recommended a vaginal ultrasound. The ultrasound revealed fibroids and lots of scar tissue. Dr. Thomas felt that a laparoscopic surgery would be the remedy to my problem. The surgery consisted of removal of the scar tissue and fibroids.

The surgery went well and my period became tolerable again. Unfortunately, four years later the symptoms returned. This time it seemed as if it came back with vengeance. During my menstrual cycle cramps would appear out of nowhere. I would be just fine then a sharp pain would hit without warning. It almost felt like hard punch in the stomach. I would wear tampons and pads and still soak through them both in record time. Blood stains in sheets, cloths and chairs were a common occurrence. By this time I was living in California and could not get back to Dr. Thomas.

I tried to ignore the signs, but something in my spirit kept telling me, something is wrong you better get it checked out. Well after turning 30 and being unmarried I was beginning to fear if I could have kids. So I went to a fertility doctor to make sure everything was working properly. Dr. Kumar was warm and friendly and seemed like a good match for me. The doctor wanted to do a vaginal ultrasound…..again and a dye test. The dye test consisted of the doctor shooting dye into my fallopian tubes to make sure there was no blockage. After the tests were performed the Dr. Kumar told me that I had severe blockage in my fallopian tubes, a cyst on my right ovary and that my scar tissue had returned.

Dr. Kumar looked me in the eye and said “It would be very unlikely that you will be able to have children naturally. The best thing to do is to remove the scar tissue, the ovary, and both tubes. Invitro would be the way to go for a person with your condition.” I sat there with a crazy grin on my face, nodding up and down trying to look very intelligent. I told him I would think about what he said. I calmly walked out of his office, but broke down in tears while walking out of the building. As a matter of fact, I did not make it to my car; I sat down on the curb and just cried until no more tears would come.

*** Check back Weds evening for part 2

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Black In American vs. Black in CNN

In case you’ve been living under a rock or you don’t have cable/satellite, CNN is doing a six part series called Black In America. This series discusses all the things that ails Black America, such as HIV, dropout rates, infant mortality, unemployment, incarceration rates, ect…. They do throw in a few niceties for good measure. Of course I will watch the program, but I am an expert on being Black in America so I am sure nothing they say or present will surprise me.

My issues is with CNN it self. I love CNN and because I just recently decided to get cable again after going on a ten year hiatus, I watch it quite frequently. But what I noticed is there are no people especially women that look like me on CNN. Take a look at the pictures above whadda’ya think?

I mean I can’t watch it 24/7, so unless the sistah or brother comes on during my work hours or in the middle of the night, I’mma say there are no dark skinned sistahs or brothers working at CNN. No really… it looks like they did the paper bag test before they hired their reporters/anchors. They all are fair skinned with a good grade of hair. In fact if look at the pics above in some cases it’s hard to tell if some of these sistahs are black, white or a combination. Trust me I know we come in all flavors and colors and that is cool. But don’t hate me because I want to see a lil mo chocolate on CNN.

I was watching the first installment of Black In America and as I looked at Soledad O'Brien I thought what the hell do you know about being Black In America. This woman could pass for White. As she was asking questions to the panelist she seemed to be clueless as to why black men are locked up at disproportionate rates. This woman seemed totally clueless to the plight of black people.

It just seems like an oxymoron to me…. How are you doing a Black in America series and no dark skin people work at the company, well at least in the primetime hours? I don’t know maybe all the dark skinned brothers and sisters are in Iraq and Afghanistan. Whatever the case I just wish the media would show the entire spectrum of Black, instead of their own interpretation of beautiful Black people.

This is not a light skin vs dark skin post. This is me saying all black people are beautiful; we are not a carbon copy of one another. We come in shades like ivory, olive, red, cinnamon, bronzed, yellow, brown, chocolate, and ebony. We are the work Diaspora and we ALL are beautifully and wonderfully made.


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

AKA Turns 100… I Remember When I Gave A Damn.

I can’t front on the AKA’s I attempted to join their organization many moons ago. Prior to going to college I was not exposed to Greeks or the significance of their existence. In my neighborhood the only thing close to this was the Bloods, Crips, Gansta Disciples and the Vice-Lords.

My first few weeks of college I noticed how fraternities and sororities dominated our college campus. I made note that all the popular people belong to Greek organizations. I was captivated by the stepping, calls, gear and appearance of black sororities. On my campus there was always some beef between the Deltas and the AKA’s but it was all taken in stride.

Most of friends wanted to pledge Zeta, some wanted Delta, but me I wanted AKA. At that time AKA’s represented what I thought of myself. They were girly girls (such as myself), very business focused (another attribute of myself), community minded (me too!) and hated on by other black sororities.

My sophomore year came around and I was ready to pledge the pink and green. I went to their informational and was greeted with very professional women. They made me feel welcomed and suggested I would be a great candidate. However, the cost to pledge was $ 350.00. I was a little put off by the price, but hey this was apart of the process.

After filling out some paper work the next week I was officially on line to become a skee-weeing AKA. I was so excited I did not know what to expect but I met my line sisters and they seemed to be nice people who were just as excited as me. We were told from this point forward not to wear pink or green until we crossed over.

My first assignment on line was to meet my line sisters at a soror house. Once we arrived, we were told to clean her house from top to bottom. All the sudden these nice sorority chicks had become our pledge master and were screaming at the top of their lungs. WASH THEM DAMN DIRTY CLOTHS, SRUB THAT FLOOR ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES, POLISH THE SILVER, CLEAN THE TOLIET WITH A TOOTH BRUSH, WIPE DOWN THE WALLS AND CLEAN ALL THE CEILING FANS!!!!!!!

Hell, I had never cleaned my own house that good. Finally after a 6 hour cleaning session we were told to do the soror’s homework. After a full 8 hours of being subjected to cleaning and homework we were told to meet at another soror’s home at 11:00pm. After doing my own homework and working a few hours I was dead beat tired but I was ready when my line sisters showed up at my dorm room at 10:30pm.

That night we were told to wear white shirts and jogging pants. We lined up in front of a wall in a dark basement. Immediately we were hosed down with cold water. We were yelled at and humiliated as much as possible. They kept us there until 4:30am doing silly songs, dances, eating horrible concoctions and reciting AKA history on demand.

In the coming weeks the sorors made us babysit every weekend, pay for blunts and marijuana, pick kids up from school, do their homework, make breakfast in bed and drink tequila til we could barely stand up . As the weeks went by the insults hurled at us while on line got worse. “Do ya’ll really think ya’ll AKA material cuz ya’ll look kinda ugly to me”. “ Lil sista so in so , you can stand to lose at least 20 pounds.”

Then finally the wood came. The sorors began to hit us with wooden paddles when we did not answer questions correctly. Towards the end every mistake required someone be given wood. At some point someone reported the hazing to the University and they closed down the entire induction process. The AKA’s charter was kicked off campus for two years and could not pledge anyone at the school. During my senior year I was asked if I wanted to pledge again. I answered a resounding HELL NO.

Sorry I just did not like the hazing part. I just did not find it amusing to be cursed at, talked down to, and made to feel undeserving the entire time I was on line. Plus I knew the process from hell would start all over again. Not, to mention during that time I had matured greatly and no longer needed the Greek letters to feel accepted or important. My friends told me if you join without hazing you will never get any respect from the other sorors. I believe they were right, it just was not a right fit for me anymore. I do believe there are some benefits to joining a sorority, but I don’t know if it’s worth your dignity.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Life Reflected In Dreams

Have you ever had a bad dream that scared the crap out of you? Well this morning I woke up remembering a horrible nightmare. I dreamt my nephews (who happen to be 1 and 4) were a bit older my (5 and 7) in the dream got into my car and placed it in drive. In the dream I noticed the car was moving and jumped in the car but could not prevent it from crashing and hurting a lot of people. In the dream my nephews were hurt and the car ran over a lot of people.

It’s funny how dreams seem so real. I remember feeling hopeless and wanted to personally apologize to everyone that got hurt. I also remember feeling like I did not do a good job looking after the kids and how disappointed my sister would be.

I don’t know if this dream meant something or not, but once awake I immediately began praying for my nephews. I asked God to protect them and keep them in perfect peace. I felt a little better after that.

I personally believe dreams are meant to incite and evoke action. Of course every dream may not have a purpose, but there are some that virtually takes your breath away. You wake up feeling every emotion that you had in your dream and you vividly remember every detail.

I don’t have children so my nephews are very, very important to me. It is my goal to protect them from harm as much as possible. I’ve slacked off of “Auntie Time” and this dream just reminded me what the consequences are when you take your eyes off the prize.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tune Up

Lately I've felt off base. Like I've just been living but not quite paying attention. Ya know just getting through the day. Sunday I was at church and I felt more or less entertained, but truly not in a worshipping mood or spirit. My spirit has been on life support. I truly try to live a life that represent the true essence of God, while maintaining a balance in my life. But lately I've let life with its ups and downs get the best of me.

One of the demons that snatched my joy was complaining. I found myself complaining a lot and not being truly grateful for my blessing. I tended to focus on the things I did not have, and the things I had not achieved and took all that I had for granted.

Then I began to tolerate bullcrap. Dealing with people and relationships that I would have normally cut loose or not bothered with. It was getting really stressful.

Well now I am tired and ready to get back in tune mentally, spiritually and physically. This requires me to take my big girl pill and let some people out of my life. I also have to make up with my creator. Let him know I am sorry and that I miss our relationship.

Being out of tune with your spirit makes life hard and it makes a person resentful and full of hate. My goal is to life a GOLDEN life, free from unnecessary drama.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Obama.... Obama... Obama....

As many of you know I love Barack and Michelle Obama. To me they are the quintessential couple and would make a wonderful president and first lady. I also love what they represent… which is family and support of one another’s dreams and goals.

I am intrigued by this great man and woman and desire to know more about them. I was excited when Access Hollywood announced they scored an interview with the entire Obama Clan. Wow.. the girls would be given an opportunity to talk and show their personalities. It felt like an informal introduction to the family.

But haters will be haters and when change is in the air people will criticize. Some people felt it was inappropriate for Obama to allow his children to be interviewed. Today Show website states,

“The interview, conducted by Maria Menounos, prompted criticism of the candidate, who had said that he wanted to keep his family life private, but now seemed to be using his family to advance his candidacy.”

To this I say….HELL NAW. How can this man’s family advance his candidacy? Please tell me how a 7 and 10 year old can sway a persons vote. McCain’s family is on the campaign trail with him and his daughter has a blog devoted to his candidacy. I’m not hearing anything about that. Nor should I.

Actually I am not sure why some people have a problem with Obama allowing his children to be interviewed. This is the man that possibly will be running the country. I want to know as much about him as possible. Yes, there are some things that should remain private and out of the public eye. However, what they discussed was life for them on the campaign trail.

And for the haters that stated that Malia sounded like she was 19, should be shot. How can you condemn a child that is articulate, smart and well versed? In that case I need to see some 19 year olds act more like they were 10.

The only problem I have is Obama stated he would not let his children be interviewed again and he regretted his decision to allow them on television. To this I say… bullshit. He is feeling the heat and instead of defending his position he is cowering down to the naysayers. I know when one is attempting to be elected you place yourself in the people please business. But this does not change how I feel about Obama and I for one was glad to see his beautiful daughters on television.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Gas The New Luxury

Every trip to the gas station is a mini reminder of the economic down turn this country has taken. How many of you remember the good ole days when gas was .99 a gallon. How about when gas “skyrocketed “to $1.99. I thought I had seen it all during that time….. but never in my wildest dream would I have imaged that gas would be $4.00+ a gallon on regular basis. Stupid me, I always assumed that gas was a commodity that would always be affordable and readily available. Hell, years ago I never paid attention to the price of gas, all I needed was a couple of dollars and I was good to go.

Well now is a different time and gas is more precious than gold at this point. To fill up my car for a month would cost me the equivalent of one days work, a full 8 hours. If you think I drive a Escalade, Tahoe, F150 or Silverado….. think again. I drive a simple 4 cylinder Hyundai Excel, that takes 12 gallons to fill the tank. Unfortunately, for me I drive 60 miles round trip back and forth to work everyday and I need to fill up every 3-4 days. A fill up usually runs me $48.00 (in St. Louis gas is 4.00 a gallon, 3.89 on a good day). This is putting a hurting on a sistah’s pocketbook. It’s literally taking food out of my mouth. Instead of spending freely at the grocery store and buying specialty items (such as the delicious deluxe cajun crab dip, behind the seafood counter) I must stick to the basics. I am even considering using coupons and shopping based on what’s on sale… forget my taste bud and food preference.

Gas prices have touched the lives of everyone. Last week my local news reported that car lots have been hard by gas thieves. The thieves go to the car lots with cordless drills and drill holes in the gas tanks. Then they sell the fuel at a lower cost than the gas stations. Of course this left the dealership with $30,000 worth of damage… but it is the sign of the times. To save a few dollars people in California have resorted to driving across the border to Mexico to fill up the tank!

People that make their living driving are feeling the pinch more than others. Diesel fuel cost 4.59+ a gallon. It takes approximately 500.00 to fill up an 18 wheeler commercial truck. We all know that ultimately the consumer will pay for the spike in transportation cost.

I guess we all thought gas was our friend and would never betray us. As we watch places like Dubai, Saudi Arabia and other Middle Eastern countries get filthy rich off the skyrocketing oil prices we know the good times have come to an end. With developing countries like China using more oil than ever before and Americans greedily consuming every drop of oil we can get, don’t count on gas prices dropping too soon.

I get the feeling that driving as we know it will change. Soon the days of cruising will be a luxury and public transportation will be the way to go.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Chilling Out On Sunday

Today has been one of those lazy summer days. This morning I got up went to Sunday School but left right before the sermon. I was still tired so I decieded to go back home. Yeah I know that was wrong... but a lil word beats no word. I finally got my computer back up and running. I reluctantly let someone use my computer and the next thing you know BAM the operationing system crashed, wirless connection was lost and I was off-line. Of course you ask, "what happened, what did you do to my computer?" And the culprit responds " I didn't do anything, as a matter of fact the last time I tried to use it it wouldn't work for me either."

Well the lesson learned from that experience is hands off my damn computer. Go to the library for all I care. But your grimy little fingers will never touch my keyboard....ya dig.

Other than that I am chilling. My locs are growing... thank GOD that transistion part was kinda crazy. I really can't complain about the job too much, it's going well. My only complaint is all the killing going on around here.

Man they are killing people left and right in the Lou. The murder rate is out of control. Times like these will drive a person to their knees. Well I just wanted to check in and let ya'll know I was okay, I hope everything is blessed with ya'll. Until we talk again keep ya head up

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Father's Day Remembrance

Today is Father's day, but you would not know it buy looking in restaurants, the card aisle, or the electronic stores. You see there is not a mad rush to celebrate fathers.. mama gets all the thank yous and appreciation dinners most of the time.

I often think about my own father and what he meant to me. Actually we had a love hate relationship. My father believed in education. With that in mind, he taught me my multiplication in third grade.... all the way to multiples of 12. On the weekend he always wanted us to "play" school and review what we learned that week. I knew very early in life what my daddy expected from me educationally.

However, that is where the expectations ended. My father was a drug dealer but he was very careful not to expose me and my siblings to his life style. I was a teenager before I realized how my dad made his money... and by that time he was dead.

A Dad is a girl's first love. In many cases without a truly involved Dad many girls like myself make many mistakes when it comes to finding love. When my father was alive he ruled the house like a tyrant and often spoke to my mother in a disrespectful way. I think he thought his money and support gave him the right to rule with an iron fist.

Deep down I despised him and made a vow to never let a man disrespect me and rule me with his finances. My dad has been dead for 18 years, but my feelings towards him has affected many of my relationships. I have no desire to have a man take care of me or provide for me. I'm scared to totally depend on a man because I view that as being weak. In my young eyes my mother was weak because for many years of her life she needed my dad to survive.

I often wonder, what type of woman would I be if my Dad was alive today. Would I be as bitter towards men as I am today? Would I've made better choices in life partners?
Would we be estranged? I guess it really doesn't matter now. It is what it is..

But if he were alive I would still wish him a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A Slap In The Face

I remember when hurricane Katrina pummeled the Golf coast region. The government efforts were lackadaisical at best. Most of America felt helpless and sadden as they watched people lose their homes, family, and in the worst case their life. When the government finally decided to help in often cases it was not enough.

To add insult to injury CNN reported FEMA gave away about $85 million in household goods meant for Hurricane Katrina victims. The excuse used by FEMA was it cost 1 million dollars a year to store the material, and it viewed the items has excess. There is a great deal of homeless people in the N.O. who could have used the household goods. This is the government’s way of saying they are done with Katrina victims.

The recent rains have caused several areas in the Midwest to flood. People here are dealing with the same issues as people in the Golf Coast region. I ‘m curious on how the government and insurance companies will respond to white people losing all their belongings. Will the recovery efforts be swifter and involve less red tape.

I bet a dime to a dollar that mid-western white folks will have an easier time getting FEMA to offer assistance. Let’s be real… racism still exist. It’s alive and kicking and the government is the main perpetrator of blatant racist acts.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Heat and Violence

This week has been a very violent week in the city of St. Louis. Yesterday we had four people killed in a 12 hour time span. What makes it worst is the fact that two of the people killed were innocent bystanders. If this is any indication of what the summer will bring, then the city can go ahead an order those extra body bags cuz we gonna need them.

About two weeks ago the city had A Call To Oneness. This is basically hundreds of communities coming together to protest violence. Community organizers asked the community to come out and march against the violence in our city. Man 50,000 men, women, and children showed up with signs like..... stop the violence.... we want our streets back....real men don't kill, crack can go to hell. It was a beautiful thing to see that many people concerned with the safety of others. However, that night was another deadly night and several people were gunned down.

I lost my brother to this city, he was violently murdered and left in the alley like trash. I feel personally invested to help stop the violence. When I hear about a life lost I immediately feel pain for the families. I've often wondered how people who commit such acts of violence sleep at night, do they pray for forgiveness, are they hunted by nightmares of the dead and if they ever think about the heartbreak they left behind.

I know there are many factors that play into violence, such has unemployment, poverty, drugs and lack of education. But it's time we stand up for what is right, people are dying.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Fabulously Broke

I read today that Ed McMahon and Evander Holyfield are facing foreclosures on their homes. Ed states he is $644,000 behind on his 4,000,000 home. Ed ‘s wife stated, “we have less money than people may think and we could have done a better job managing their finances. We didn't keep our eye on the ball. We made mistakes," she said. "It's embarrassing to say the least, and it's sad, because you know, Ed's worked his whole entire life."

Evander’s $10,000,000 home is set to auction off by Washington Mutual bank on
July 1st, and if that was not bad enough he also owes $550,000 in loans used to pay for landscaping on his 95-hectare estate. Just when you thought things couldn’t possibly get worst for good ole Real Deal, his baby mama is taking him to court because missed two payments equaling $6,000.

While both of these men were once considered multi-millionaires, this is a testament that if you are not a good steward over your finances or anything for that matter, you will surely lose it. Ed McMahon has been working all my life. I remember seeing him on television as a child and though many of my adult years. Can you imagine working your whole life to end up broke at the age of 85? This economy is no freaking joke! Being financially prepared is a key component of survival now days. Paying the rent late to cop those House Of Dereon Jeans and those cute shoes out of Nine West is no longer an option. Cutting back is the name of the game, especially when milk is damn near $4.00 a gallon and gas prices are rising so quick if you blink the price will change.

Don’t even get me talking about that damn stimulus check. So the gub’ment wants me to spend that “extra” money on something nice eh. Well I spent mine on my rent, and paid a few bills. Again how the hell can I justify purchasing a $400.00 Coach purse when it takes me$ 65.00 a week to fill up my gas tank, huh. People this is not the time for stunting and fronting. I hate to see so many people losing their homes due to the credit crunch. Unfortunately, people are losing their jobs too. Companies are cutting back and laying people off left and right, leaving many people to rely on unemployment benefits, welfare and food stamps. Although, I am complaining I am blessed to have a job and able to pay my bills in a timely fashion. Believe me chile, it hasn’t always been like that. Embracing the spirit of gratefulness and sustaining my faith it usually gets me through what ever life throws at me.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Road Ends For Hilary

Even after Barack Obama clinched the victory, Hilary will not admit defeat. Believe me, Hilary is a woman after my own heart. I am stubborn, Strong willed and hate to admit defeat, but sometimes you gotta know when to acknowledge defeat. I watched Hilary give her speech on CNN last night and I just knew that she would be pulling out of the race...... but nooooooo not Hil, she gave much props to Obama but she never said anything about giving up. Although she is not my candidate I admire her spirit to keep fighting on, but honestly the fat lady has sang.

I am so excited for Obama and can not wait to see how he will defend himself against the republican machine. This is gonna get very interesting and I will be watching every minute of it.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Another Day In My Life

Hello Internet Friends and Family,

Well I have been off of work for almost 6 weeks for medical reasons. I swear I can not wait to go back to work. I always day dreamed about being at home and watching all the court shows and chilling while everyone else worked. Trust and believe that crap gets boring real quick. I was tired of that mess in two weeks. I like to stay busy and I am completely and totally bored out of my damn mind. However, I really can not complain about too much. I am trying to get negativity off my tongue and my mind, cuz it's contagious and it can create drama, and ya girl don't need no drama, ya feel me.

Summer is on the way and the day's are simply gorgeous. I love this type of weather, not too hot not too cold. The high around 75 and the low around 50..... perfect. There is no need to run the air or the heat.... can we say lower electric and gas bill... hooray.

This week my college alumni is having a gathering and I am thinking about going. I am a little self conscience due to the weight gain... but hey it is what it is.... right. I hope all those sonorities and fraternity types don't get to strolling and throwing up their gang signs all night, not to mention the cat calls they do. Most of these people should be well into their mid 30's but you never know. It will be interesting to see who married who, who works where and generally where people ended up in life.

Well I'mma get outta here. I am a certifed taxi driver since I'm at home all day. Hope these folks have my gas money. See yall later

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

My "New" Passion

I've always loved nature and the beauty it holds. Some would say that I have been a naturalist from birth. God and nature goes hand and hand to me. I remember when I was driving to AZ and as I was rounding HWY 40 coming through NM I was astounded by the large mountains. The beauty of the mountains was the essence of God's handy work. The sounds of the ocean calms me, looking off into the distance of the ocean it is hard to separate the water from the sky. When I drive home from work the sky is orange, red and blue and this is another form of beauty to me. Lately I've wanted to catch the beauty of nature, family and buildings on film. Last year I purchased a digital camera and often find myself snapping away at things that appeal to me. Honestly, I need a better camera, the one I want cost roughly between 500.00-550.00, so right now it is out of my price range. But it would make a great birthday/Christmas gift!!!!!!! The pics above is just things that I saw and thought wow I gotta get a photo. It seems as I get older new things appeal to me, and I want to explore new talents and gifts. I hope new gifts keep coming, it makes life exciting.