Single and Satisfied

Today single black women face tough odds when it comes to obtaining a mate. As many of you have heard time and time again 45% of black women have never been married and the divorce rate has an average of 50%. They beat us over the head with this fact don’t they.

Most of us don’t have time to think and/or care about the statistics . But in the mean time and in between time how does one stay single and satisfied? Personally, I’ve had my share of unhealthy relationships and bed buddies; with age and wisdom my whole dating criteria has changed.

In my teens and twenties I just had to be “boo’ed” up all the time. Sometimes I really liked the person I was with, other times they were just something to do until the next best thing came along. After spending years on a rollercoaster ride of relationships, I began to get woozy, off balanced and empty: the ride was no longer fun. It wasn’t worth waiting in line, the anticipation wore off and I ran screaming out of the amusement park of bad relationships.


At this point in my life I’d rather be single and never married than to be with someone who is not right for me. It’s tiring starting over again..and again… and again.. and again…and again. I don’t think it’s worth it. As women, most of us know what we want in a man: I just haven’t figured out why we accept those that don’t meet our standards. Why deal with all the rehabs… ya know the fixer uppers, the ones with potential.

Women over the age of 28 don’t have the time or energy to deal with fixer-uppers. Most women have their stuff together at this age. Many of us are buying homes, creating businesses, graduating from college, pursuing advance degrees and running for political office like never before.

No longer are we sitting at home waiting on the phone to ring… we will take ourselves out. Trust me, I’ve been to movies, plays, wineries and vacations all by my damn self. I love doing things that I like and I will not wait until a man shows up to live my life…. Nor should you.