Speak for Yourself

As my Grandfather once said…. keep stupidity to yourself. No one knows how stupid you really are until you fuck up and say something really stupid. Video Vixen Dollicia Bryan feels that wearing Christian Louboutins, a luxury French made shoe also known as red bottoms will make you a better competitor in life . The shoes range in price from several hundred to several thousand dollars.

Ms Bryan states

Okay, I’m looking at myself..you know I want to be up there. I want to be compared…I want to surpass. When you elevate in your career, you elevated in your fashion. You have a higher competition.

I don’t have to have a guy go out and get them. When I was able to afford it, I went and I started purchasing them. You don’t have to wear them. If I’m capable of purchasing that and still doing my job, I’m going to do that. If you’re not capable but you still want to be competition, I don’t know what to tell you. You just have to step up your game.

Maino got involved; that’s how it all started. He said the same thing. You know, I can’t take you around events I go to with Beyonce if you got Forever 21 shoes. I can’t do that. Don’t think you’re the baddest thing, what can we do?
That’s where it started. There are so many beautiful women out there but what sets you aside from them?

First I like to compliment Ms. Bryan on purchasing her expensive shoes herself and not waiting on a man to upgrade her. I personally believe that if we desire a certain quality of life it is each person responsibility to do everything (within reason) they can to obtain that lifestyle. However, Ms. Bryan e you lost me at buying insanely expensive things is a way to step up your game and set you apart from other people. Spending a huge percentage of your income on shoes is not stepping up your game, it is showing your level of stupidity and immaturity. I know you are a video girl… but do you own your home… have you invested in your retirement or learned another craft. I’m sure your time as a video girl is very limited and you will need that shoe money in a few years.

Yes it is totally with in reason that Beyonce wears Christian Louboutins … she is worth several million dollars and her future is very secure ……even if she doesn’t sing another note. You on the other hand… not so much. And on another note if a REAL man is truly interested in you and he would like to take you around his rich friends, if he feels the desire for you to look the part then he will purchase you the extravagant clothes if you can’t afford them. That is if he really wants to be with you for you!


Also if you are wondering how stand out in a sea of beautiful women…be yourself! Men respect women that know who they are and are not fake. Don’t break yourself trying to fit someone else image of what is acceptable. You can only hold a pose so long before the real you come out anyway. On another note, I think if you want to be a real actress or model you should shut up and stop giving advice.

Education Segregation Still Exist in the US

My mother for the most part was a single working mother. In the 80’s daycare was a luxury for my family. With that being the case, my grandfather made sure we got to school safely and returned home from school safely. My mom would wake us up at 5:00am get us ready and drop us off at my grandfather house. At the time we did not live in the best neighborhood and my Mom felt that the school in my granddaddy’s neighborhood was superior to the one in our neighborhood. It was decided that we would use our granddaddy address and go to the better school plus he was responsible for our care while our Mom work. I wonder if my mother would be willing to go to jail for her actions?

An Ohio mother did just that. Kelly Williams-Bolar was jailed for sending her children to a better school in her father’s neighborhood. Williams-Bolar used her father's address, where she alleges she lived part-time. Yet the Copely-Fairlawn School District felt she was lying about being a resident, and hired a private eye to follow her, videotaping Williams-Bolar leaving her public housing home and dropping her children off at the suburban school. They confronted Williams-Bolar, demanded that she repay the district $30,000, saying she didn't have the right to have her daughters in the district since she wasn't a taxpayer.

When she refused, Williams-Bolar was indicted on two felony charges, found guilty and sentenced to 10 days in prison. Because of the felonies on her record, the aspiring schoolteacher will never be able to enter the classroom

As a former educator I can tell you that not all schools are fair. The supports for schools are based on the tax base of the community. The more expensive the homes the higher the personal property tax, a great percentage of personal property tax goes directly to the school district. Of course those communities that suffer from high unemployment/underemployment rates, high crime, low percentage of homeownership, and little to no businesses have a very small tax base. It goes without saying that most of the urban (minority) communities find that there children are being cheated out of a fair education.

These circumstances create vast differences in our educational system. While some of the more affluent neighborhoods have schools with great technical advances, new books, new schools, new equipment, advance math and science classes and wonderfully paid teachers. On the other hand, the lower taxed communities have to deal with such nuisances as dilapidated buildings, out of date books, little to no technology, underpaid teachers, overcrowded schools, lack of educational programs…shall I go on? It is a crime that our educational system is still segregated but instead of being based on race it is based on class. Our children are paying the price with their education.


The “No Child Left Behind” act grants parents the permission to remove their child from a failing school and place them into another school district. However, what the law does not say is the other school doesn’t have to accept the child, in many cases they don’t. Schools don’t want to inherit the problems of the failing school so the parent is really left with no choice.

I believe Williams-Bolar did what she had to do for the betterment of her children. I just hate that her teaching certificate may be on the line because of the court decision to give her a felony. I wish her and her children the best.

Punk Azz Dems

So it seems some Democrats are not feeling the proposed tax package between President Obama and the Republicans. The package would extend tax cut to the wealthy, extend unemployment benefits for 13 months and cut of two percentage points in the pay roll tax. In addition, the plan extends current tax breaks for students and lower income Americans, and adjusts the estate taxes in a way that the Dems believe will only benefit the wealthy.


The President has been accused of compromising and not keeping his promise to cut taxes for middle class Americans. Republicans would not agree to keep tax cuts for the middle class while letting the tax cuts for the wealthy expire; it was an all or nothing deal. Not to mention, they were willing to let millions of unemployed American benefits expire, unless they got what they wanted.

Needless to say, the Dems slammed Obama for agreeing to such a deal. I seriously want to slap the shit out of the Dems. So now they wanna act like they got a voice… where the hell was the voice during the mid term elections. The Republicans have been kicking ass and taking names since the mid terms, Dems have been acting like scared little ……ahem…..female dogs.

I am so pissed I am thinking about becoming an independent, because the Dems are weak. The President main concern was for the unemployed… the people who are suffering. Yes, we know that primary concern of the Republicans is the wealthy. Many of their constituents are rich and white, that is their focus and their base. The Dems on the on the other hand are going rogue… they are not giving the Prez the support he needs, nor do they stand unified on any one issue.

Pundits and others say we can’t afford to extend unemployment benefits, but there are many things in the budget that we cant afford and we are not giving those things up. I feel the Prez is doing the best he can, with the scraps he was given. He did not create this recession; he came into office under a recession. How can a man fix something in two years, when it took 8 years to create?


Personally, I do not believe that tax breaks for the wealthy and unemployment benefits should even be discussed in the same sentence, let alone together in a bill. However, if that is what is needed to ensure that millions of Americans are able to feed their families and stay in their homes I stand behind the Prez on this one. There will be a time to fight and when the time comes I believe he will be ready. It is not cool to fight over the lives of people who depend on unemployment

Women Controlling The Purse Strings....Bad For The Relationship

When I was a little girl in the mid 80’s I remember my Mama singing a song from a perfume commercial. It said…


I can bring home the bacon
Fry it in a pan
And never ever let you forget you’re a man
Cause I’m a WOMAN!

I can rub and scrub this old house til its shining like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car and powder my face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing til 4 am and then
Lay down at 5 jump up at 6 and start all over again
Cause I’m a WOMAN!


Mama would be singing this song as she folded the clothes, vacuumed the floor, and moved the furniture around. This little song made me feel like I could do anything. It sent a little subliminal message to my brain saying you can do it all! Pay the mortgage, wash the car, take out the trash, fix the plumbing, change the tire, breast feed the baby, work 9-10 hour days 6days a week. Hell I watched Mama do it all the time, no need to believe I couldn’t do it too.


As I grew up and watch the women of my family be the breadwinners of their households it became very clear that I would run my household the same way. But I was always open to a man being the breadwinner and my income would be used to make the ends meet. My dating life was pretty normal, most of the men I dated held their own. They were financially independent and never looked for me to provide for them financially. Hell, many of them provided for me when I didn’t have a great deal of money.

Then I came across a man that I cared for very deeply….but he did not have a job. He didn’t have an emergency fund, he barely had a place to live and nothing to really offer me at the time. However, I fell in love with the man and felt that he was just going through a rough time and who was I to be judgmental of situation.

As we dated he would find a job here and there but could never seem to keep the job. Even when he did find employment he only made slightly more than minimum wage. We moved in together but he was never able to contribute to the household. He did not have presentable clothes and he needed so many things. I initially tried to help him and build him up as much as I could but it was getting very tiring.

After awhile he seemed to resent that I had a career and he didn’t. Our sex life came to a screeching halt. Each time he told me he couldn’t contribute or he lost another job my respect for him dwindled. It seemed the harder he looked for a job, the less call backs he would get. I started to resent the fact that he stayed home and I had to go to work. I would come home dead tired and he would want to talk all night.

I started to disrespect him by throwing his unemployment situation up as much as I could. He would disrespect me by calling me everything but the child of God. It got to the point where the house was always filled with tension. I was used to taking care of myself and if I was in a relationship my man would throw out a few dollars here and there.

This “man with no job” situation was foreign to me and after about 2 ½ years of it I started to feel like a hoe and my man was my pimp. I realized that a relationship can’t exist on love alone…….at least not for ME! I want to feel protected, I want to feel secure, and I want to feel like my man would do anything (legal) to hold down our household. I don’t want to be the HNIC when I have a man in the house.


Ultimately, the relationship did not work. But it was mostly wrecked because I could not take living with a man that could not offer me financial stability. Whether we like it or not roles are reversing, women are out earning men. It is causing many divorces, unhappy homes and breakups. Although I am a modern chick, I do expect my man to be the provider and head of the household. I expect him to know his role and accept that it is presumed that he will be making spiritual, financial and other decisions for the household. It’s a big responsibility for a man that is ready to take charge.

Now this in no way means that I wouldn’t hold my man down if we happen to fall on bad times. If I know that the man is a go getter and has proven that he will be my rock the I have no problem swinging my feet out the bed and going to work while he get his affairs in order. However, if you just playing around saying, “the man holding a brother down” and bullshitting around…then you may get left standing in the wind. I often wonder if single mothers have ruined the little girls and the little boys of America. Little girls watch Mama work and hold down the house and little boys get accustomed to Mama going to work and being the provider. The kids get all twisted and boys get their roles confused and so do girls.


What are your thoughts on this?

On Guard… Attack Is Imminent

I was reading an article titled Why Do Big Girls Get a Bad Rap? (Big Is Beautiful) over at freshexpress.com. The blogger wanted to know why some men have severe hang ups when it comes to plus size women. Which led me to another article titled “Do Blank Men Prefer their Women Larger?”

Let me be perfectly clear when I say that black women come in all sizes, all shades and all hair types. Truly God broke the mold when he made a black woman. Some of us have creamy white skin, some look like God used a bit of red clay in the design, many of us look like we have golden essence of the sun in our skin, while others look like God put a dash of cinnamon in our complexions, and some of us look like God used the finest, darkest coca bean when he made our skin.

We posse a great deal of strength and beauty yet it is constantly under attack. Our asses are too big , our boobs are too full, our lips were once considered too plump, our hair too kinky and our hips too wide. Imagine being constantly picked apart and told we like the full lips and the big ass. Shit even white women have accepted the lips and ass, just look and Kim Kardashian and Meg Ryan.! The other traits are deemed unacceptable, but not only by the majority, but by some of our own brothers!

Now there is nothing wrong with having preferences… they are simply measures that we use to determine what is attractive. I have preferences and hopefully you do too. However, preference does not mean this feature is better than that feature. It does not give men or women for that matter the right to say skinny is better than fat, long straight hair is better than short kinky hair ….ect. If anything we as black folk should have a broader understanding of beauty because our race is filled with a diverse look.




Check out this wig being sold at Kohls for Halloween. It’s a kinky afro wig named “The Ghetto Fab Wig”. I guess the white woman in the picture seems to think she looks ghetto fabulous! But I see many non-ghetto women rocking their real natural hair in this style. This is just another example of the world saying “This is another thing we don’t like black woman, your nappy afro hair”. It is a subtle subliminal message…but trust me I get it. I never seen a long blonde wig called the “Po White Trash Wig”.






I am so sick and tired of the world telling the black women she is not good enough. I just wanna throw up the middle finger and let them know I am not buying into your lies. You can brainwash whomever you like but you will never brain wash me. Yes I could stand to lose about 40lbs, but for health reasons not to fit inside some model thin dress. My hair is nappily natural and I love it, it’s not ghetto or any other demeaning name you can think of. Real beauty, true beauty is something on the inside, it doesn’t get old, it doesn’t need make up, it doesn’t require name brand shoes or clothing, it is unmistaken ably something divine, something that has been nurtured and purposefully hidden for only the true seekers to find.

Are You Serious?

Yesterday while getting ready for work I was stopped dead in my tracks when the Today show announced a segment about Anita Hill and Justice Clarence Thomas wife Virginia “ Ginny” Thomas. Ginny wanted Anita to apologize for accusing her husband of sexual harassment 19 years ago. I remember the case very well, during that time they were holding senate hearings to vote in Clarence as the new judicial Supreme Court justice.

When vetting a candidate it is not unusual for the FBI to do a complete back ground check on the perspective contender. They speak with past co-workers and other people who can relay professional and personal information about the candidate. Well in Clarence case they stumbled upon Anita and she told them about her experience with Clarence. She was led to believe that her interview would never be made public and this was simply a fact finding mission. However, the senate requested to view all information pertaining to Clarence during his confirmation hearings. Well that is when all hell broke loose.

On the tapes Anita claimed that Clarence sexually harassed her at their place of employment for about 3 years. She referred to specific incidents of Clarence’s behavior, including repeated requests for dates and references to pornographic material. On other occasions she testified he referred to the size of his own penis as being larger than normal and he also spoke on some occasions of the pleasures he had given to women with oral sex. Anita stated she was so stressed out a work, she decided it was better for her mental health to take a job teaching at Oral Roberts University.

Anita was called before the Senate to testify about what happened. I remember watching her on the screen and she looked completely embarrassed most of the time. Meanwhile Clarence simply looked angry, he stated the hearings "a national disgrace...a high-tech lynching for uppity blacks who in any way deign to think for themselves, to do for themselves." I agree that it seemed that the Senate wanted to expose every little nasty detail about his life. It is very rare that the FBI tapes are made public and I am sure a bit of racism was the reason behind it.

Needless to say the Republicans voted Clarence in and he became a Supreme Court Justice and Anita Hill went on with her life. However, many women of all nationalities believed (as I do), that she was telling the truth. In an effort to protect her career decided just to leave her job and keep quiet about the harassment. From that point going forward Clarence had lost all credibility in the black community, he was not considered an ally.


Now 19 years later here comes Ginny (come lately)Thomas calling Anita hill demanding an apology on behalf of her husband. Ginny left a voice message on Anita’s work phone saying…

Good morning, Anita Hill, it's Ginny Thomas,” said the voice. “I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband. So give it some thought and certainly pray about this and come to understand why you did what you did. OK, have a good day.”


When Ginny was asked to confirm if she really left the voice mail she said…

I did place a call to Ms. Hill at her office extending an olive branch to her after all these years, in hopes that we could ultimately get past what happened so long ago. That offer still stands, I would be very happy to meet and talk with her if she would be willing to do the same. Certainly no offense was ever intended.”

Anita responded by saying, “I don’t apologize. I have no intention of apologizing, and I stand by my testimony in 1991.”


Anita kept it classy and gave a simple statement. But Mrs. Ginny I’ma say what Anita wanted to say but couldn’t say. Here it goes…


You extending me an olive branch? I don’t give two rat’s azzes about you! Who the f*ck do you think you are ! I ain’t thought about you in 19 years what the f*ck made you believe that I wanted to befriend you! And further more, b*tch don’t call me that that bullshit. I said what I said and I ain’t changing my story. It ain’t my fault that yo man came on to me. You need to check that nigga…not me. And just so you know… hell naw I ain’t sorry nor will I ever apologize. Hoe you got some nerve calling me talking about a muthaf*cking apology, are you f*cking retarded, crazy, outta yo rabbit as mind! See in a minute you gone make me step off this throne and beat yo azz. So you and yo boot licking, uncle tomming azz husband betta leave me the f*ck alone cuz this the last time I’ma speak to you about this. Next time b*tch it’s yo azz. Now run tell that!

The New Definition of Swagger

Roland is now selling ascots. He says on his website that this is the new definition of swagger. Honestly Roland, you look kinda of gay-ish in the picture. I am in no way implying that homosexuals do not have swagger, cuz trust me they do! But I think even they would agree that swagger is not the word we will use for you in the picture above. For god sake’s you have a bloom of a flower in your hand, showing all 32 of yo teef, with a come-hither look in yo eyes. Please talk to your advertising folks cuz this pic doesn’t make a grown ass man purchase an ascot nor does it boost up his swagger.

Simply Magnificent

On my way to sleep last night I heard some fabulous news concerning our Fist Lady Mrs. Michelle Obama. I was drifting off to sleep when the anchor woman said that Michelle Obama had been named by Forbes Magazine as the most influential/powerful woman in the WORLD! It brought a huge smile to my face. I felt very proud and wished I could drop by the white house so I could give her a fist bump.

It made me feel like some one in my family had pushed passed the glass ceiling. Like my big sister had just broken a barrier that left the path wide open for the rest of us. I feel the same way about my other homie Oprah. They both make me want to press harder, go further, reach wider, be uncompromising, and stay the course until I succeed.

I love them both because they are not your typical success story. Both came from blue collar backgrounds and worked hard to succeed in their chosen fields. Neither climbed the letter of success by using their sexuality and both are smart as a whip. Oprah nor Michelle is considered drop dead gorgeous by today’s standards, but they both have a beauty that is so amazing, deep and profound that you can’t help but find them exquisite and admire their loveliness and splendor.


What can I say they are my idols and in my head they are my mentors. I remember interviewing for a job over the phone and I wanted to sound powerful, concise and basically impress the interviewer. I sat down at the kitchen table and put Oprah’s magazine in front of me. I just stared at her cover and said “ Lord if you can do it for her, you can do it for me”. Guess what… I got the job. That is how inspired these women make me feel.


I just want to congratulate First Lady Chelle and say great job. You are a wonderful shining exemplary example of what we all can be if we stay focused and put ourselves in the driver’s seat of our own lives.

Songs That Make My Skin Crawl

I am shocked by the things that are played on the urban radio stations today. It absolutely alarms me the things that are said or implied in the songs the programmers decide to play. What really pisses me off is they don’t even try to play certain songs during school hours or late at night to avoid the ears of young listeners.

One of the songs on my top hated list right now is Ciera’s new song called Ride. Here are a few of the lyrics.

I can do it big
I can do it long
I can do whenever or however
You want

I can do it up and down
I can do it circles
To him I'm a gymnast
This ring is my circus

I market it so good
They can't wait to try I I I I
Me e e a a
I work it so good
Man, these nigga's
Trying to buy I I I I me

They love they way I ride it (x3)
They love the way I ride the beat
How I ride the beat, I ride it


Just imagine your 8 year old daughter/niece/cousin singing this song. Then ask you what is Ciera riding mommy?


Although the next song is a great song I don’t think it should be played during the hours children are listening to the radio. Neighbors Know My Name.


Soon as we get started makin love goin harder hear a... (knock knock) knocking on the wall,
And as soon as I go deep getting it in then again there's a... (knock knock) knocking on the wall,
Girl your legs keep shakin I swear we breakin our new headboard headboard
And the love we make it feels so good girl you know I'm proud lookin in your lovley face scream my name you do it so loud


I bet the neighbors know my name
Way you screamin scratchin yellin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
They be stressin while we sexin,
I bet the neighbors know my name
My name my name
I bet the neighbors know my name



Again this is adult situations and it I just think it’s too much. I do believe in the first amendment and those artists have a right to create the best music they can. However, the PUBLIC radio station may not be the best place to exhibit some of the racier songs.

Janet Jackson has not had a #1 hit since her nipple made an appearance at Super bowl. We are not allowed to see explicit nudity scenes on public television, why then are we allowed to hear them on the radio.

I guess I am just old fashion in some

I'm Just Saying

Is it me or does Beyonce look a little pale in the photo on the top. This photo was taken yesterday of her at the Obama’s state dinner. I cant tell you when the other photo was taken. Look likes she called Sammy Sosa and borrowed some of the moisturizer. It makes me think of that quote by Audre Lorde’s, “The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.”



I’m just saying………..

Please Don’t Test….. That Teacher’s Gansta

I know you have probably seen the video of the teacher Sherri Davis whooping the ass of her student Isaiah Regan. When I saw the video I could tell that the teacher had snapped and had enough of this particular student’s bullshit. Davis appeared on Good Morning America and stated that the day had been "utter chaos." Just moments before the incident where she beat student Isaiah Reagan on video, she had to break up a fight in the hallway between a 16-year-old boy and a 13-year-old girl. She said that people there are not protecting the students or the staff at the school. Ms. Davis said that while her adrenaline was still building from stopping the student fight in the hallway, she heard the door to the classroom slam shut and the door lock. A white girl who was a special needs student who had just enrolled in the school was in the room, surrounded by mostly African-American male students who were "mimicking her." Isaiah Reagins, who she says has assaulted teachers and other students, "was bouncing around in a threatening, bullying position."

Obviously lil Isaiah has been a problem for sometime and still had not learned that school is not a place to act a fool. You may ask yourself how can a teacher go from being teacher of the year (twice) to beating the hell out of one of her students? Well let me answer that for you ….. bad ass kids with poor excuses for parents. If you think your job gets on your nerves try going into the classroom. Oh teaching is not how it use to be when kids respected grown folks and at the threat of calling the parents and/or grandparents was enough to make a child break down into a soggy pile of tears.

I hate to say it…… but we are witnessing what happens when crack babies have children. Yessssss……most of the children causing problems today grandmothers are/were crack heads in the 80’s. Of course this is just my opinion but I really believe that it is true.

I used to be a long term substitute teacher and I had to lay hand on a student too! I remember it like it was yesterday. My student name was Charles and he was very short and little for his age (14). Charles also had sickle cell but he was mad as a muth%$#@!!. One afternoon Charles clowned and talked and gave me the blues so when the end of day bell rang I told Charles he was to stay seated until he could be quiet for a full five minutes. The other children left to catch their buses and Charles was instructed to stay in seat and be quiet. Charles said, “If I miss my bus, it’s gonna be all your fault.” I told Charles every time he spoke his five minutes would start over again, so if he missed the bus it would be his fault. I got up from my desk and stood in front of the door. Needless to say Charles kept talking and I refused to let him leave. At some point he starting cussing and talking about what he was going to do if missed his bus. Then out of no where Charles picked up a desk and threw it at me.


I lost it on his ass! I grabbed that lil muth%$#@!!. by his throat and pushed him against the wall and lifted him off the ground by this throat. I told him, “Let’s get one damn thing clear here….. I ain’t the one to play with and if you ever attempt to hurt me again I will make you wish you ever laid eyes on me. Little did I know the principle saw the entire episode and calmly asked me to release the child. I let him go and he ran out the room. The principle left and went on about his business.


But I tell you what….. Charles was one of my best students after that. I never had a problem out of him again and guess what………he passed my class. We joked, smiled and continued on like what happen that afternoon never took place. Teachers I people too and if tested they make open a can of whoop ass on ya.

Many teachers are put in the position to be security. They have to protect kids from bullies as well as protect themselves. Schools with hundreds of students often have very little security …if any. It gets frustrating constantly trying to deal with behavioral issues and not doing what you were hired and educated to do…..TEACH! The government and states are trying to hold the teachers responsible for the children lack of learning…..but what about all the behavior and external issues that find their way into the classroom and must be dealt with before learning can take place. Now Isaiah mama is filing a law suit against the school and Ms. Davis. My question is…….where the hell was his mama when he was acting a plum damn fool! What was she doing to address her child behavioral issues? Had she ever sought professional help for her child, was there discipline in the home?

Please don’t judge Ms. Davis too hard. I’m sure she regrets ever placing her hand on that child, regardless how bad he was he is still a child. But, if she is to remember he is still a child he needs to remember that she is still an adult. We all make bad judgment calls and decisions in our life. I just hope that Ms. Davis can recover from this professionally and financially. I also hope that Isaiah understands that his behavior was inappropriate and his mother addresses h

Poor Body Image or Pure Bullshit...You Decide

I am a magazine freak. Beauty magazines, design magazines, financial magazines and career magazines are all piled up in my bathroom. Regardless of the magazine type there are always advertisements that tell women what they can do or use to improve/enhance our beauty. The models are beautiful and flawless, their hair looks healthy and shiny, not an once of fat on their body and their skin is poreless like pure silk. Yes we know most of the models are digitally enhanced and the advertisers are selling us a dream….but we want to look like the lady in the picture. Look what Kimora is selling… slim, sexy, and beautiful after birthing three babies. Oh yeah, she is hocking her new fragrance, but I barley notice the perfume bottle, all I see is her long hair and perfect skin. We all know that Kimora is a knock out without air brushing, but why did she feel compelled to present her audience with a fake body image. What about the young women that desire to look like the Kimora on the magazine…never mind that Kimora doesn’t even look like that in real life. What is wrong with promoting realness and accepting the fact that we all come in different sizes? There is nothing wrong with promoting healthiness and proper body image, but sadly this is not the case. Advertisers ,Hollywood and fashion designers want to sell us an unattainable dream, armed with airbrushing , photoshop and suggestions of diets. They believe our self esteem is so low and we are so stupid that we would believe that a bottle perfume would make us look/feel like the photo shopped Kimora. I can’t help it this aggravates me.


The statics show that the average size of the American women is a size 14 and weighs 162.9 lbs. Since I have gained a few pounds I no longer can shop in my favorite stores like The Limited, The Loft, Ann Taylor, White House/Black Market, H&M, Victoria Secret, BeBe, J. Crew, Hollister, Banana Republic, Express and The Gap. I would also like to include Macy’s and Dillards in this list because when you do find clothes that fit a larger frame, it is not fashionable, full of sparkles and look like a HAM. People I wear a size 16 and finding clothes in these store that fit me is damn near mission impossible. If you are over a size 10 (as a woman) you are damn near invisible to the fashion world and beauty world. Of course there are stores that cater to women size 14+, but there are only a small number and do all the plus size women in the USA want to shop at the same 5 stores? Did you know that Wal-Mart is the number one seller of plus size clothing, outside of internet sites? There are a few sites dedicated to plus size women but lets face it, we want to be able to touch and feel the merchandise before we purchase it.


I want to ask designers whom I love like Tracy Reese, Isaac Mizrahi, Donna Karan, Stella McCartney, Marc Jacobs, Vera Wang, and Diane von Furstenberg why don’t you make designs for women over the size of 14. Isn’t our money green like the skinny girls, aren’t we worthy of great design styles and great fashion? Although the market is ripe for plus sizes many designers feel that producing a plus size line will cheapen their brand. Despite the possibility for making tons of money, designers seem to fill as if women past a size 14 (really size 10) is unworthy to rock their clothes. Prada designer Miuccia Prada stated that she would not sell clothes over a size 10. In 2009 Karl Lagerfeld was quoted as saying “What I designed was fashion for slender and slim people," he said. And in an interview in the March 2009 issue of Harper's Bazaar, he sniffed, "The body has to be impeccable . . . if it's not, buy small sizes and less food." The perception in the fashion industry is that full figured women have less disposable income and are less concerned with new styles and trends.



Because some design houses fail to recognize the beauty and profit in the plus size industry is not reason for a full figured girl to look a mess. If they don’t want our money….cool. I just hope that someone sees the need and create a trendy and dynamic plus size line. In the mean time I would like to recommend Rachel Pally for plus size ladies. Pally's full-figured collection is one of the top-selling vendors for Nordstrom. Another great place to find wonderful plus size clothing is Kiyonna, this brand is find mostly online. Old Navy has a nice selection of plus size online. Target plus size section is ify but if you find something it’s usually nice. Then of course you have the good ole stand bys….Torrid, Lane Bryant and Ashley Stewart. My personal choice is to find a tailor, a great pattern with luxurious fabrics and have pieces made to fit my body.

Get A Clue

I was over at necolebitchie.com and I was reading a recent interview by Lisa Raye aka Diamond from Players Club. Here is what Ms. Raye had to say for herself and her choice of men:


“My whole life has been a fairytale. Every man that I have ever dated has always been powerful, had money and been generous to me. He (Michael Musicik) was just the next in line. It was like this is how I am supposed to treated. My father was my first introduction to power. I am attracted to power. So when people always ask me why you always date a man with money, why in the hell wouldn’t I? I have my own lifestyle, it’s like, I’m not going for less than what I have. If I can’t be spoiled because he is not that generous, loving and caring, I don’t want you. Go to the next one. I can wait. I don’t know what it is not to be pampered and spoiled. I don’t even want to try it. That’s like saying to me, I’ma be broke. What do you mean? What? No. That don’t work for me. That’s not an option for me. I’ve never been that.”

The more I read, the more knots appeared in my stomach. This seemed wrong on so many levels, where do I start? Well first let me say there is nothing wrong with expecting YOUR man to support you. So that we are clear lets define support.

Support= To uphold by aid or countenance; to aid; to help; to back up; as, to support a friend or a party; to support the present administration

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man aiding his woman financially. However, unless otherwise stated, I feel that no man is indebted to a woman to be her sole financial care taker. In this modern day and age we should be able to take care of ourselves. I understand once you obtain a certain level of living and a higher financial bracket your crowd may change. No one lives in Bel-Air and goes to Compton looking for their soul mate, at least not on purpose.

But expecting your mate to be rich and powerful may leave a very limited amount of men at your disposal. This mentality has contributed to the profound lonely black woman syndrome. Today Black women are more likely to have a college degree, decent paying job and many other wonderful accolades than her male counterpart. However, it seems like we all are chasing the same group of wealthy powerful brothers. Could this be the reason that the rich and power men have their prime choice of women and women wait their turn to be with these men? Is this the reason that we are hearing so many married rich and powerful men are involved in extramarital affairs with several women?

Men are not stupid creatures. No one wants to feel used or looked at as an open check book. Most men are attracted to women that can fully support themselves. Independence is a sign of confidence and control.

If we only limit our search for love to the rich and power we might miss the man that posses the characteristics that money can’t buy.

It's Tax Time.....Did You Get Screwed?

It’s that time again…..that’s right tax time. I for one will be glad when this mess is OVA. If you are still going over to H&R (Ova Charge) Block, Jackson (making money off yo azz) Hewitt or any other instant tax refund place you are already screwed.

You see these people job is to sell you everything but the kitchen sink. I feel that these places exploit people that make low wages. Truthfully, how many instant tax places do you see in the nice part of your city? Noooooooooooo they make their money in the hood. I know that it has been a hard you so to get an “instant” refund sounds very tempting. But honestly folks, you are giving away a percentage of your tax return. You deserve every penny of that return so why give it away to some vulture? Then they are willing to give you $25.00 if you refer friends that will give his/her money away too.


If you ask me these refund loans is nothing more but predatory lending practices. Tax preparers, both independent operations and major chains, charge interest rates that can run on an annualized basis well into triple figures, all for the privilege of getting money a few days earlier. The IRS further mitigates the risk to lenders with its Debt Indicator service, alerting them to any claims (child support, unpaid federal student loan) against refund-loan applicants' refunds. I am sure the tax preparers pay the IRS for the information they provide, making it even more ridiculous to even consider taking out an instant refund loan.

Consumer Federation of America released their first major report on refund loans and customers in 2002. The organizations' 2006 report, based on data complete through 2004, shows that 12.38 million taxpayers got refund loans during that filing season, a slight increase from the 12.15 million such loans in 2003. To obtain the loans, the report says, consumers paid almost $1.24 billion in loan fees, "essentially borrowing their own money at extremely high interest rates." They paid another $360 million in administrative, electronic filing and application fees. Based on national averages, an Eared Income Tax Credit ( EIC) borrower could expect to pay $900 in fees for refund loan, electronic filing, check cashing and tax preparation fees to obtain a $2,150 refund. This is the only federal poverty program where the cost of distribution is imposed on the recipients," says Jean Ann Fox, CFA director of consumer protection. "It's very cheap for the government to distribute the EITC because they have put the applicants in the position of having to pay a commercial entity to help them apply for it."

Refund Anticipation Loans (RAL) are big business and everybody wants in. Tax prepares have formed “partnerships” with car dealerships, rent-to-own stores, and furniture stores to offer programs that allow you to use your tax refund as a payment toward high end products.
Some tax prepares have stooped to a new low, preying on the those with little to no patience. Pay-stub or "holiday" RAL's, offered before the taxpayer receives a W-2, are based on the latest pay. Yes some people are foolish enough to take their last pay check stub and get a “instant refund”.

The estimated amount, however, may not reflect pre-tax retirement deductions, or money withheld for child support or taxes and the taxpayer will have to pay the full amount estimated on the pay stub whether or not the refund is large enough to cover the cost of the loan and fees.

What really piss me off is once they get people to sign up for the instant loan, they try to sell them more crap. “Ms. Single Mom, for another 100.00 we can offer you platinum protection on your tax return” or “Would you like to place your refund into a IRA account with us for 70.00 more” .
I know times are extremely hard and many people are without jobs, but unless it is a dire unavoidable emergency I would urge you to file online and get your money in 10-14 days. And people please get a savings or checking account, paying someone to cash your income tax check is stupid.
Businesses are out to get every dime they can during tax season. Everything is on sale and they are counting on you and me to be reckless spenders. Don’t fall for it, get what you need and put that money up for a rainy day. Most of those businesses mean the consumer no good and sells inferior products specifically for tax season.

Don’t get played this year.

Foot In Mouth Disease

I was reading the Chicago Tribune online and came across the article with the headline Blagojevich: 'I'm blacker than Obama'. Of course I was intrigued and read the article.


In the article Blagojevich states “I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up”

OOOOOOOOOOOkay and that makes you black? Why does this man consider living a hard life makes him black? Many ethnic groups …including whites have lived through hard times. Blagojevich only need to travel to "Little Arizona," home of Chicago's trailer park, if he needs an example of poor white people. It disturbs me that the former Governor identification of black is living in a cramped house in a bad neighborhood. If this statement represents his theory on what it means to be black, I can only assume that to be white would mean working high paying jobs, living in an affluent community and a low level exposure to violence.

I guess it was the black side of him that made him attempt to sell the Senate seat huh. No it was the black side that made him do illegal things to hook his wife up with a job. GTFOH…..

Blagojevich .......please do not confuse your diluted, uneducated, low level thoughts of black culture with the reality of what being black really means. And trust and believe you will never be blacker than Obama, his skin still requires him to work twice as hard to get half the recognition it takes for a white man doing the same job, and he is the PRESIDENT! Imagine what your average Tyone Davis must face everyday.

Tip…. Blagojevich go some where and sit down. Try to stay out of jail and live a low key life. The more you talk the stupider you

Breast Cancer Debate

Personally I hate cancer. Cancer has taken so many of my loved ones that it feels like I am in my own battle with the disease. My first encounter with cancer occurred at age 12. My mother was diagnosed with cancer; I remember when she told me. That night for whatever reason I wind up sleeping in the bed with my mama and she wrapped her body around mine and told me in a soft whisper that the doctor told her she had cancer. Before that night I had never heard the word cancer before. It meant nothing to me, but I remember my mama sounding like a frighten little kid , like she just accepted the fact that she was in the fight of her life. Soon after that mama started going to chemotherapy which made her feel weak and ill. Sometimes I would go with her; I don’t think anyone knew she was sick. In the waiting room were people from all ethnic backgrounds and ages. I still wasn’t too sure of what cancer was but from looking around the waiting room I could tell that age and racial make up was not a factor. Each person seemed to be at a different stage of the disease, some had hair, while others did not.

Soon it became very apparent that mama could not keep this cancer thing a secret. Finally she told the family because the chemo was making her so sick she could hardly get out of bed and go to work. Mama was losing weight so fast, at her normal weight she only weighed 130lbs and she had already lost 20lbs. My mama decided that she could not handle all four of her kids so she decided that my brother (who happened to be her shadow, they had a very close relationship) could not mentally handle seeing her deteriorate, so he went to Arkansas to live with my dad. My little brother and sister who were only 3 and 4 went to live with my Aunt. My Grandmother and two Aunties moved in and took care of mama 24 hours a day. Slowly the cancer started to eat away at her body. The doctors added radiation to the mix and this was like a jolt to her body. She began to have radiation rashes and lost 15 more pounds at this point she was skin and bones. She would spend weeks in the hospital and seemed to be tired of fighting. The cancer was winning and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. My mama knew the end was near and called my father and asked that he bring my brother home because she needed to see him before she left this world. I will never forget the look on my brother face when he saw my mama, he was completed devastated. A few weeks after his arrival my mama passed away. Since that time I have lost my father, aunt and uncle to this disease and that is just the people in my family.

So when a government task force said Monday that most women don't need mammograms in their 40s and should get one every two years starting at 50 I felt personally attacked. The task force also feel that breast self-exams are of no value. I know that I am not a medical professional but I also know that many women discover lumps in their breast by doing self-exams. I also know the benefit of catching cancers at the earliest stage as possible. Not to mention the fact that although white women get breast cancers at higher rates than black women, but black women are more likely to die from the cancer.

It is my fear that Medicaid and insurance groups do not fall in line with the suggestion of the government task force. This would be a tremendous blow to the life of many women that could be diagnosed too late to save their lives. It angers me that people that sit on a board get to make decisions that adversely affect the lives of thousands of people. I am willing to bet a dollar to a dime that big pharma or insurance companies is behind this “new” revelation. Why not it would save billions of dollars on test especially when the government may pass a law that entitles all Americans to insurance? People need to understand that this is about lives not dollars. Can someone please tell me how much a life is worth? When are we ever going to get past our greedy need for money and as much as possible at all cost? Sometimes capitalism is not as great as it is cracked up to be



PS. I have a high school classmate that is battling breast cancer. Lisa my prayers, thoughts and love are with you.

Sammy Done Turned White

In case you have been living under a rock you have probably seen the pictures of Sammy Sosa sporting his new look. Using what he called “skin rejuvenation” and contacts Sammy has become a lighter skin Dominican. Actually it made me mad and sad at the same time. Who knew that the desire to look Caucasian was a global thing. Well I actually knew that it was becoming a looming problem. Indians, Africans and Asians are top consumers of skin lightening creams. In many foreign countries lighter skin means an easier life. Of course African Americans have dealt with these issues since the day the stepped foot off the boat. However, not many of us indulge in skin lighting cream. Because in America black is black. For the most part it doesn’t matter if you the lightest of the light or the darkest of the dark , if black can be detected in your skin tone you will probably experience racism at one point or another in your life.



I am a darkie. I am one of the few dark skinned people in my family and I have been called every name imaginable. Blackie….black ass, darkness, African Boom-bata, African booty scratch er, ect…. And as a child it really bothered me. I would look in the mirror and wrap my head with a towel and try to imagine my skin being lighter and the towel would be my long straight locks. Each time I tried it would be hard to imagine myself as a light skin person. I could not put my finger on it, but I knew I would not be me if my skin was of a lighter shade. Today my skin tone is so integral to the person I’ve become. I could not imagine changing what God clearly thought what was best for me. What is the problem with being different? Why must we all be the same and look the same? Why do we feel that white is right and will sell our souls too look like what we have been programmed to think is real beauty.
I look at Sammy and although he is smiling all I see is hate. Look at what the brother did to himself he clearly does not like himself. Then he says that the camera flash makes him seem lighter than what he really is……..really Sam? And let me guess all you did was rub a skin cream all over your face and suddenly your face was white and your eyes were green. Sam….I am not Susie Sausage Head and I think you are full of it. But I can understand why he feels so pressured to lighten his skin. If you think African Americans have in bad in American, try being an African Latino in Brazil or the Dominican. The Dominicans consider anything black to be associated with Haitian. Haiti's slaves revolted against the French and in 1804 established their own nation. In 1822, Haitians took over the entire island, ruling the predominantly Hispanic Dominican Republic for 22 years. To this day, the Dominican Republic celebrates its independence not from centuries-long colonizer Spain, but from Haiti.


In much of Latin America -- the "one drop rule'' works in reverse: One drop of white blood allows even very dark-skinned people to be considered white. Racial identification here is thorny and complex, defined not so much by skin color but by the texture of your hair, the width of your nose and even the depth of your pocket. The richer, the "whiter." And, experts say, it is fueled by a rejection of anything black. Dominicans are encouraged to embrace Spanish Catholic roots rather than African ancestry. Walk down any city street in the Dominican and you will see a country where blacks and dark-skinned people vastly outnumber whites, and most estimates say that 90 percent of Dominicans are black or of mixed race. Yet census figures say only 11 percent of the country's nine million people are black.

It becomes painfully clear that being black is something people fear in many areas of our world. I could not imagine living in a land filled with predominantly dark skinned individuals and calling myself Indian, Latino or white. I am certain that each country has its shame to bear. But I guess I always imagined that if I lived in a land filled with black folks that we would treat each other like Kings and Queens. Sammy if you are reading this please stop the treatments. Get counseling and begin to heal by loving yourself. If people can not accept you then banish them from your life.

Bish Please

I know this story is a bit dated but I had to comment on it. Okay we all understand that Mechelle (Chelle) McNair is a bit pissy that her husband was killed by his mistress that then went on to off herself. I would be pissed too if I found out my man been out co-signing for Escalades and shit, taking a bish on trips, and chilling in a condo I knew nothing about with another woman. Oh hell yea I would be ready to chop that nicca head off and serve it to his mama on a silver platter…..he’d better be lucky he already dead !


So trust me Chelle when I tell you I understand that part of your frustration. But ummmm you wrong for not putting that man other kids down as heirs to his estate. Bish you wrong as two left shoes. How the hell you gone say some shit like you can’t confirm if the two eldest kids were actually your husband’s. Now that’s some bullshit if I’ve every heard any in my life. Did your man take care of these kids…..did he pay child support….were they ever over the house…..did they go on vacation with yall….did he ever refer to the children as “my sons” ? If you answered yes to any of those questions you know damn well those were that man kids. And just because you all pissy cuz you got humiliated in front of a world wide audience does not give you the right to take them babies inheritance.


But before you get all geeked up on buying you another house or some other crap get ready for a battle. Baby Mama’s (BM) do not play. I bet in the next 4-6 months yo azz gone be up in court explaining your actions to a judge. Quit being greedy bish! If that man considered those kids his then so be it. There are two types of money that never last long, that is income tax checks and inheritance money. Most of the time people fly through that type of money like water.

Chelle quit acting stupidly (as Pres Obama says) and do the right thing.

American Companies Assisted Apartheid

Think slavery was a bitch…..apartheid was no fun either. Imagine living in a land where your people are a majority and still subjected to being treated as a second class citizen. For those of you that is not familiar with apartheid I will give you a brief run down.



With the enactment of apartheid laws in 1948, racial discrimination was institutionalized. Race laws touched every aspect of social life, including a prohibition of marriage between non-whites and whites, and the sanctioning of ``white-only'' jobs. In 1950, the Population Registration Act required that all South Africans be racially classified into one of three categories: white, black (African), or colored (of mixed decent). The coloured category included major subgroups of Indians and Asians. Classification into these categories was based on appearance, social acceptance, and descent. For example, a white person was defined as ``in appearance obviously a white person or generally accepted as a white person.'' A person could not be considered white if one of his or her parents were non-white. The determination that a person was ``obviously white'' would take into account ``his habits, education, and speech and deportment and demeanor.'' A black person would be of or accepted as a member of an African tribe or race, and a colored person is one that is not black or white. The Department of Home Affairs (a government bureau) was responsible for the classification of the citizenry.






Now that we all on the same page… apartheid victims have won the right to sue companies in the United States.


In a major court ruling, victims of South Africa's apartheid era have won the right to sue General Motors, IBM and other multi-national corporations
for complicity in human rights abuses.
A federal judge in New York gave the green light Wednesday for class actions against the corporations under US law allowing rights claims from abroad to be addressed in a US court.



IBM is being sued because it is likely that the tool which made the most crucial contribution to the system of apartheid was the computerized population register. The Plural Affairs Department maintained the passbook system on the more than twenty five million Africans defined as black. These records were all kept electronically on British-made ICL hardware. The Department of the Interior maintained the "Book of Life" files on the other seven million citizens classified as non-blacks using an IBM hardware system. The main purpose of the population registry was administration of the influx control system, a system which channeled needed black workers into the labor force to be exploited, and confined others to the desolate homelands. The passbooks, which every black person was automatically given at the age of sixteen, coupled with the computer database, guaranteed one's instant identification and one's history of government opposition. If these passbooks were properly endorsed, the owner had the right to work or live in "white areas", and lack of these endorsements or failure to produce the passbook resulted in arrest and jail. Many were detained for months at a time without a trial and their families were not given notification of their whereabouts



The lawsuits argue that the car-makers knew their vehicles were being used by South African forces to violently suppress protests. Allegedly Daimler, Ford and General Motors aided and abetted apartheid, torture, extrajudicial killing and cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment -- in part because their security personnel were”intimately involved" with the torture and inhuman treatment of several plaintiffs and also because the companies provided the military equipment and trucks used by the South African Defense Forces and the special branch for attacks on protesting citizens and activists;


Based on the ties many American companies have with slavery it would not be a far fetch idea to believe they were involved with apartheid too. The American and European economy was built on the exploitation of Africa. Stealing her diamonds and her most precious commodity… her people. Not only do I hope the victims of apartheid are victorious in their court case, I also hope reparations can be paid to the descendants of slavery. I know this has been debated by far more educated and refined pundits, but I feel that issuing an apology is wack and not enough. Seriously, they paid the Japanese and Native Americans, why not pay the African Americans. Hell at this point 40 acres and a Ford F-150 don’t sound too bad.


The sad part about apartheid is it ended in 1994. I graduated from high school that year and I never knew that people in Africa was dealing with such racism and hatred. My school(s) never taught about the trials and tribulations of my African brothers and sisters. However, they did teach us about European history and every February we would talk about Martin Lutha Kang...Harriett Tubman, W.E.B. Dubois, and Fredrick Douglas. They acted like these were the only black people worth discussing for the 28 days of black history

Pirates of Somalia

When I think of pirates I think of the guy in the picture above. I’ve always thought that a pirate is white, has one good arm and the other arm has a hook attached to it, a patch over the right eye and a talking parakeet on his shoulders. Whoever knew that pirates were black African men?


We’ve all heard about the pirates taking over the American ship last week. I could not believe that the pirates took the Caption hostage and threaten his life. CNN kept me informed about the progress of the situation and I was relieved when they announced that they were sending a Navy ship over to assist in the situation. I felt like a true American, yeah that’s how we roll….we go get our people.

The media presented the pirates as terrorist and after 911 anything associated with terrorism have Americans ready to ride or die. Like many of you I never thought to ask why the Somalis keep hijacking ships. Sadly, it didn’t even cross my mind. But lucky for me I know a beautiful, insightful and intelligent young lady name Nyankor (Nya) Matthew.

Nya is a native of Liberia and helps me and many other African Americans stay informed on what is occurring in Africa. Because of her personal experience and knowledge of the continent she can provide a view from the perspective of the Somali pirates. Please take a moment to visit her web page and read her thoughts on piracy http://www.liberianforum.com/Articles/Somali-Pirates.html?ac=0


Did you know….

According to documents obtained by The Times, nearly two-thirds of Somalia was allocated to the American oil giants Conoco, Amoco, Chevron and Phillips in the final years before Somalia's pro-U.S. President Mohamed Siad Barre was overthrown and the nation plunged into chaos in January, 1991. Industry sources said the companies holding the rights to the most promising concessions were hoping that the Bush Administration's decision to send U.S. troops to safeguard aid shipments to Somalia will also help protect their multimillion-dollar investments there.

Many nations are committing piracy against Somali by illegally fishing in their waters. Europe, France, Spain, Greece, UK, and Norway has participated in massive illegal foreign fishing piracy that has been poaching and destroying Somali marine resources for the last 18 years following the collapse of the Somali regime in 1991.


European and some Asian companies have taken advantage of that anarchy to turn the Somalia coast into a toxic dump. These countries have been dumping nuclear and radioactive toxic waste on the shores of Somalia. It appears that most of the dumping is connected to the Italian mafia, which has found that it costs only $2.50 a ton to dispose of toxic waste of the coast of Somalia instead of $250 a ton at legal European dumps


The media would have us believe that these pirates or just as horrible as Osama Bin Laden. But most of these pirates are fisherman attempting to keep the waterways from being illegally fished and other countries from dumping their crap on the shores.

Of course there are some that are purely out for the money, but without a government what are the people to do? We must take most of the news coverage with a grain of salt, our thinking caps must be on at all times. It’s sad but in the United States we are spoon fed bullshit. We are so under read, undereducated, and unconnected to the rest of the world, this allows our media to bend our minds and tell us their perspective of the news.