One of guilty pleasures is watching Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. Yes, I know this show makes every self righteous black conscience, black aware person cringe. But hey, it is funny, sad, amusing and entertaining for me to watch. After watching the latest episode I was appalled and more than a little upset.
One of the shows main characters K. Michelle (KM) was speaking to some young lady about domestic violence and her experiences around the issue. KM alleges that one of her ex-boyfriends abused her and spent up a great deal of her advance money on frivolous things like jewelry. She seems to be stuck in that place where she can’t get past what happened to her. The wound is very fresh as she still cries every time she speaks about it, if she is not crying she seems to shows veracious anger when talking our the situation.
The ex-boy friend now is married to another one of the main characters (Rasheeda) good friend. Rasheeda decided to tell KM that she doesn’t believe that she was actually abused by her ex-boyfriend and she thought KM was exaggerating. Of course all that anger spilled out and KM told her that it did happened and that she was not there so how could she say what really happened. KM starting yelling and crying and eventually stormed off.
This ticked me off because as women we are so quick to judge each other. I know Rasheeda probably felt some sort of loyalty to her friend and wanted to go on record to say she didn’t believe it, but was that the right thing….absolutely NOT. How does she know that her friend is not getting abused physically and/or emotionally? What does she know about this man in his past relationships and behaviors towards women?
I have been in an abusive relationship before and trust me I was not running around telling my friends that I getting beat up weekly and verbally abused daily. It wasn’t until I was ready to end that relationship that I revealed the truth. In the end I was angrier at myself than him because I tolerated the abuse, because I stayed and allowed myself to be mistreated. All abusers are not the same, but the truth is until a person seeks help they will always abuse at some point.
As women we need to stop making judgments and be more supportive towards one another. I am particularly concerned about black women, we speak so ill of one another, we have a serious jealously problem as well as no solidarity. We bash each other without a second thought, we are our own greatest enemy.