Friday, November 19, 2010

Women Controlling The Purse Strings....Bad For The Relationship

When I was a little girl in the mid 80’s I remember my Mama singing a song from a perfume commercial. It said…

I can bring home the bacon
Fry it in a pan
And never ever let you forget you’re a man
Cause I’m a WOMAN!

I can rub and scrub this old house til its shining like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car and powder my face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing til 4 am and then
Lay down at 5 jump up at 6 and start all over again
Cause I’m a WOMAN!

Mama would be singing this song as she folded the clothes, vacuumed the floor, and moved the furniture around. This little song made me feel like I could do anything. It sent a little subliminal message to my brain saying you can do it all! Pay the mortgage, wash the car, take out the trash, fix the plumbing, change the tire, breast feed the baby, work 9-10 hour days 6days a week. Hell I watched Mama do it all the time, no need to believe I couldn’t do it too.

As I grew up and watch the women of my family be the breadwinners of their households it became very clear that I would run my household the same way. But I was always open to a man being the breadwinner and my income would be used to make the ends meet. My dating life was pretty normal, most of the men I dated held their own. They were financially independent and never looked for me to provide for them financially. Hell, many of them provided for me when I didn’t have a great deal of money.

Then I came across a man that I cared for very deeply….but he did not have a job. He didn’t have an emergency fund, he barely had a place to live and nothing to really offer me at the time. However, I fell in love with the man and felt that he was just going through a rough time and who was I to be judgmental of situation.

As we dated he would find a job here and there but could never seem to keep the job. Even when he did find employment he only made slightly more than minimum wage. We moved in together but he was never able to contribute to the household. He did not have presentable clothes and he needed so many things. I initially tried to help him and build him up as much as I could but it was getting very tiring.

After awhile he seemed to resent that I had a career and he didn’t. Our sex life came to a screeching halt. Each time he told me he couldn’t contribute or he lost another job my respect for him dwindled. It seemed the harder he looked for a job, the less call backs he would get. I started to resent the fact that he stayed home and I had to go to work. I would come home dead tired and he would want to talk all night.

I started to disrespect him by throwing his unemployment situation up as much as I could. He would disrespect me by calling me everything but the child of God. It got to the point where the house was always filled with tension. I was used to taking care of myself and if I was in a relationship my man would throw out a few dollars here and there.

This “man with no job” situation was foreign to me and after about 2 ½ years of it I started to feel like a hoe and my man was my pimp. I realized that a relationship can’t exist on love alone…….at least not for ME! I want to feel protected, I want to feel secure, and I want to feel like my man would do anything (legal) to hold down our household. I don’t want to be the HNIC when I have a man in the house.

Ultimately, the relationship did not work. But it was mostly wrecked because I could not take living with a man that could not offer me financial stability. Whether we like it or not roles are reversing, women are out earning men. It is causing many divorces, unhappy homes and breakups. Although I am a modern chick, I do expect my man to be the provider and head of the household. I expect him to know his role and accept that it is presumed that he will be making spiritual, financial and other decisions for the household. It’s a big responsibility for a man that is ready to take charge.

Now this in no way means that I wouldn’t hold my man down if we happen to fall on bad times. If I know that the man is a go getter and has proven that he will be my rock the I have no problem swinging my feet out the bed and going to work while he get his affairs in order. However, if you just playing around saying, “the man holding a brother down” and bullshitting around…then you may get left standing in the wind. I often wonder if single mothers have ruined the little girls and the little boys of America. Little girls watch Mama work and hold down the house and little boys get accustomed to Mama going to work and being the provider. The kids get all twisted and boys get their roles confused and so do girls.

What are your thoughts on this?

Friday, November 5, 2010

Rick Ross Suffers From Mutiple Personality Disorder

think I am big Meech

I think I am Larry Hoover

I’m MC Hammer

They call me Rick Ross...

The pseudo dope dealer, money making whose real name is William Leonard Roberts II think he is every body. I am starting to think that Rick Ross has multi personality problems. He aligns his image with those that were heavy in the dope gain or had great success and try to make us believe he is a representation of that group.

His past employer may remember when he looked like this.

But now he looks like this

He cleans up well doesn’t he?

Freeway Ricky Ross' lawsuit against rapper Rick Ross came to an end following the dismissal of the case.

It appears that the battle between former drug dealer Freeway Ricky Ross and rapper Rick Ross over the name “Rick Ross” may have finally come to a close. reports that the lawsuit against Rick Ross was dismissed earlier this week on Monday, November 1.

According to a court document the case was dismissed because the plaintiff, Freeway Ricky Ross, was unable to prove that his name was an actual trademark.

This sucks Fat Ricky basically stole the man life and made millions. Y’all know damn well Fat Ricky ain’t sold no kilograms or bricks. I will bet my life that Fat Ricky can’t spell Noriega let alone met the man. Considering that Fat Ricky keeps jacking other people persona only demonstrates how much a scam rap has become. That fool ain’t nothing more than a studio gansta.

Fortunately for him the new generation of hip hop does not require authenticity. Remember when a person found out Vanilla Ice lived a nice cozy life in the suburbs but was portraying to be a hard core street living thug? He got rejected by his audience as a fake and lost all credibility. Not any more….. since have the country is in sever debt because we pretend to be something we are not….we can now accept mirages like Fat Ricky.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

My Voting Dilemma

I DID vote today. But I must admit it was very problematic. I went to my usual voting place only to find that they no longer vote at that location. I kindly asked the teacher “where can I find the new polling station”, she replied

So I sit out in my car with my friend and try to use my smart phone to find the new polling place. After playing around on the board of election website I finally find the new place. I only have twenty minutes left to vote, so I run inside the place and give them my identification. I see the man with a strange look on his face. He asks me for my address I quickly recite it. He says I don’t see your name in our book. My friend gives his address; he says we don’t see your name either. They send us over to the inactive voter table and another lady check the inactive voter book and don’t find either of our names.

I start to get slightly agitated. I said “ look I have been voting since I was 18, I recently voted in the 2008 elections and I am a register voter so please find out what the problem is so I can leave and go to work.” So one lady hears the commotion and comes over and says I remember them from last time… let them vote. The lady at the inactive desk thought it was best to call the board of election. At this point I am 15 minutes behind the time I should have left for work.

She gets off the phone and tells me that “the system” is down and no one can verify if I am registered to vote and my friend voting poll is across town. Now he is upset, he says how did my polling place move? The lady says , “they say you live on the north side of town.” He replied, “I’ve never lived on the north side!”

Finally they tell me that I can do a provisional vote and my friend has to go across town to vote. I start breathing all heavy and ask, “Is my vote going to count?” The lady assured me that my vote will be counted once the system is up and they verify I am a registered voter. I begrudgingly filled out the “provisional” voter card. It was just a mess!

But don’t let me experience stop you. GET OUT AND VOTE

Monday, November 1, 2010

It's Getting Hard Out Here!

FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Armed security guards will be on hand at 36 unemployment offices around Indiana in what a state agency says is a step to improve safety and make branch security more consistent.

No specific incidents prompted the action, Department of Workforce Development spokesman Marc Lotter told The Journal Gazette for a story Wednesday.
Lotter said the agency is merely being cautious with the approach of an early-December deadline when thousands of Indiana residents could see their unemployment benefits end after exhausting the maximum 99 weeks provided through multiple federal extension periods.

"Given the upcoming expiration of the federal extensions and the increased stress on some of the unemployed, we thought added security would provide an extra level of protection for our employees and clients," he said.

The overall cost for the security is $1 million, paid for with federal funds designated for administration of the unemployment system, Lotter said.
State employees in the affected offices have also recently gone through stress-management training in which they learn how to respond appropriately to angry clients, he said.