Growing Up Too Soon

I remember going through puberty with both dread and excitement. I was super excited when I started getting hair up under my arms. I would show off that I had hair under my arm pits. My cousins were so jealous that I had hair and they did not. Then my boobs started to develop as strangely as it sounds it didn’t even notice. My dad told my mom that he think it was time I started wearing a bra. Without explanation was wearing a sports bra that flatten my chest even more. Then around 12 I started my cycle and was given a pad and shown what to do and that was it. No one spoke to me about sex, womanhood or pregnancy. Then again I was still playing with dolls and watching cartoons every chance I could get, boys were not even on my radar. It was 1987 and things were quite different then compared to now.

However, scientists are reporting that girls are going through puberty at a much earlier age than the girls before their generation. Nearly half of African-American girls start showing signs of puberty by 8 years old, and some American girls are developing as young as 5, even 4 years old, experts say.

As reported by MSNBC News:

The changes in Kiera’s body scared her parents. Though the 8-year-old seemed her usual chipper self, she’d started to develop headaches and acne. More alarming to her mom, Sharon, were the budding breasts on Kiera’s thin little chest.

“I thought, she’s too young,” remembers the Pittsburgh mom. “She’s still fearful about sleeping by herself. An 8-year-old just isn’t mature enough to handle this.”
For Kiera, whose last name is being withheld to protect her privacy, it was all so embarrassing. None of her friends seemed to be experiencing what she was. When they asked about the acne and her expanding chest, Kiera was evasive. “I didn’t want to tell them what was going on,” says the Pittsburgh girl, now age 9. “So I had to kind of lie to them.”

When Kiera’s parents took their daughter to the doctor, he assured them that nothing was wrong with the girl. Kiera was simply starting puberty early.
As it turns out, puberty at age 7 or 8 isn’t so unusual these days. A new study, published Monday in the journal Pediatrics, shows that more American g
The changes in Kiera’s body scared her parents. Though the 8-year-old seemed her usual chipper self, she’d started to develop headaches and acne. More alarming to her mom, Sharon, were the budding breasts on Kiera’s thin little chest.

“I thought, she’s too young,” remembers the Pittsburgh mom. “She’s still fearful about sleeping by herself. An 8-year-old just isn’t mature enough to handle this.”
For Kiera, whose last name is being withheld to protect her privacy, it was all so embarrassing. None of her friends seemed to be experiencing what she was. When they asked about the acne and her expanding chest, Kiera was evasive. “I didn’t want to tell them what was going on,” says the Pittsburgh girl, now age 9. “So I had to kind of lie to them.”

When Kiera’s parents took their daughter to the doctor, he assured them that nothing was wrong with the girl. Kiera was simply starting puberty early.
Personally I feel the exposure to different chemicals in the air and inside our food has girls to mature faster. Back in the 1700s, girls didn’t start to menstruate till they were 17 or 18, Garibaldi says. That had a lot to do with malnutrition. The assumption is that the steady decline in age since then has to do with more abundant food. Now we are shooting our meats up with hormones and dye, we pollute out air and use dangerous chemicals in household products that would kill if used in larger dosages.

Studies have linked an early start to menstruation with an elevated risk of breast cancer. And other research has shown that girls who go through puberty early tend to have lower self-esteem and a poor body image. They are also more likely to engage in risky behaviors which can result in unplanned pregnancies.

I could not imagine having a daughter and trying to tell her about the changing in her body at the age of 8. I also wonder if this will lead to menopause occurring at a younger age. We all know that women are given a set amount of eggs and the sooner we start using them…the sooner they are gone. I think this is something that must be investigated and taken seriously.

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Need A Mental Health Day

Today I am mentally exhausted. My brain is just not connecting with the work. As a matter of fact I feel like I am miles away from work……actually work is the last thing on my mind. I wish I could go back home get in the bed, cover my head and fall into a deep sleep.

I am starting to really detest my job. I really hate saying that because so many people are without jobs and I do not want to sound ungrateful. But I found that it worse to make good money at a job you hate, than making less at a job you love.

It’s crazy when your young you focus solely on the money and as you get older and wiser other things become more important. Today I am struggling liking my job…it’s too easy and I want to use my brain. Don’t worry I am not complaining out loud at the job, and I damn sure not submitting my walking papers. I guess I will just focus on school and chill out until other doors of opportunity swing open.

Today has been one of those crazy days…. my heel broke on my shoe. I needed more “always” and had to stop and Wal-Mart because I only had one in my purse. I wonder if I am just going through hormonal issues our something. Lately I get upset so easily….the slightest thing send me into a fit of rage. Sometimes I have to tell my self “it’s not that serious, calm down”. Not to mention I have been cussing like a sailor.

School is about to start in two weeks and I have to get my mind back in school mode. I guess I am just full of complaints today. I’m sure things will get better soon.

Being A Black Man

Check out this series about being a black man in America. I thought it was thought provoking an and a good read. Let me know your thoughts


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/metro/interactives/blackmen/blackmen.html

Chase Bank Can Kiss My AZZ

If you have read this blog for any length of time you would know that I used to be fiscally irresponsible and this lead to my bankruptcy. Bankruptcy was a very hard and very personal decision of me. Trust me I lost a great deal of material things when I decided to file Chapter 13, but it made me a better more responsible adult. I now understand that a person’s credit is tied directly to their character. However, I do understand that things in life do not always go as planned and even if your intentions are to pay the funds back….. if it’s choosing between eating and paying a bill, let’s face it we EATING!

About two years after my bankruptcy Washington Mutual ( WaMu) was nice enough to give me an unsecured credit card with a decent line of credit. I was so happy to have this credit card that I made a promise to myself to always make the payment. WaMu was the first bank to trust me and give me an opportunity to rebuild my credit. A few years later Chase purchased WaMu and they sent me a bunch of literature promising nothing would change.

This year I made a promise to myself to pay off all my credit card to a zero balance and only use one card as needed. I decided to make that card my Travelocity card because it offered air miles, so it is benefits me. I paid the rest of the credit cards off and was feeling really good about building my credit back to an acceptable score. I am also very thankful of the institutions that helped me get over the bankruptcy blues.


So imagine my surprise when I checked my Chase account (which was paid in FULL and has not had a transaction since April) and the credit line had been reduced to $300.00 ! WTF…. I was livid and confused. The account had never had a late payment and I always paid the bill so I was fit to be tied when I saw the line of credit had decreased.

I promptly called the credit card company and was told by a very RUDE “portfolio manager” that because I filed bankruptcy 4 years ago that I did not fit the standard set by Chase. She stated that Experian was showing a negative account on my bureau and between that and my bankruptcy I did not qualify to have such a high credit limit. I nicely explained to her that I got the card after I filed bankruptcy; she said we have different criteria than WaMu. I then told her that I have been faithfully paying this account on time for three years and have proven that I can handle having a substantial credit line. She nastily told me that the decision was final and I could accept the line of credit or close the account. I then said how the hell JP Morgan Chase get a bail out for 25 BILLION dollars from my tax dollars and say that I am not worth a line of credit. Not to mention the bail out was not used to make new loans….but to purchase more companies! I asked her who I could complain to because this was not acceptable to me. She smugly said, “ the decision in final.” I then said what could be done to increase my credit line, she told me to send in a copy of my pay check stub and proceeded to give me a PO Box in Delaware. Really…. Have you ever heard of anyone sending in a copy of a check stub to a credit card company? I then told her that I did not like the way she was speaking to me. She said I am not speaking to you any kind of way. I told her to close my account because I did not have to be mistreated by the person I pay to give me a line of credit and if I was not deserving of a substantial credit line, they were not deserving of my business. She closed the account and ended the call with a “you have a great day”. You know she said it in way like, I hope I ruined your day and this is my way of giving you the final jab before I let you off the phone.


I was more pissed when I hung up the phone. But I decided to calm down and call back. I called back and I reached a person that sounded delightful as soon as she answer the phone. I told her that I had just been treated rudely by one of her co-workers and I wanted the person’s name so I could include it in my complaint to the company. She said she could not give the person name out but would like to hear what happened so she could elevate to a supervisor. I explained the situation and she was apologetic and asked me some questions about my credit and took my gross pay over the PHONE…. in under 15 minutes my line of credit was restored!


It seems that credit can be given and taken at the discretion of company workers……….NOT your FICO score….NOT your payment history. It makes me really wonder what the underlying reasons could be. Yes I know the country is in a credit crunch but then again Black people have always been in a credit crunch.

Statistic show we pay more to borrow money even when our credit scores are comparable to white people. Lending institutions make more money off of selling black people cars, houses, boats and basically anything we finance because 9 times out of 10 the APR is higher.

Now that my credit line is restored…. I have vowed not to use that credit card. Chase should really watch whom they employ to speak with their customers. It’s sad to see people abuse power, especially when that power has such broad repercussions on others

The Cry Heard Around The World

I’ve finally completed my Chemistry class only to find out that I got a D in the class. Trust me when I tell you I cried like a new born baby when I found out that I had a D. I worked so hard in that class that it felt like I was giving it my call and I deserved at least a C. But honestly I could not remember and regurgitate all the things I learned when it came time for the test. There were times when I would literally have brain freeze. Most of my summer was spent at work, class, and studying. I haven’t attended a chemistry class since 1991, I don’t know what the hell made me think I could take an accelerated chemistry class and pass! I guess I was overconfident, but I really thought I could do it.

Tests were every Tuesday and we covered 2-3 chapters a day. So the test could easily cover 8 chapters and went on for 6 weeks. My problem was I never had time to really let the stuff sink in my brain. The class was Mon-Thurs, 6:00pm-9:20pm and because the class was only 6 weeks the teacher could not spend a great deal of time finely explaining every concept. I tried I really did. But a D was all I could muster.

I cried and even thought about reconsidering going back to school, heck I do have a master’s degree in Human Resources! I called myself dumb, stupid, comprehension smart and conceptually illiterate! Yes I beat myself up.


Then it happened………..God intervened. I went to do some job shadowing at a water treatment facility and was introduced “by chance” to the environmental compliance manager was introduced to me. We chatted pretty easily and I told him I was interested in becoming a civil engineer with an emphasis in environmental sciences. His face lit up and he told me he just finished up his master’s degree with that exact degree. Then I told him about the D situation and how I was starting to question if that was the path for me. He said, “Don’t sweat it……the classes are very hard, and I was no straight A student myself.” He admitted that he really struggled with it because he had no experience with science but he got through it and eventually began to understand it. And as a matter of fact he would be teaching chemistry at one of the junior colleges next year.

He made me feel…normal. I did not feel so stupid anymore, not all scientists were geniuses! With a little patience, studying and non accelerated pace I had a chance at success. So needless to say I will be back in chemistry this fall.

Staying Strong For Granny

My grandmother had a stroke recently and it really has left me in a daze. It seems like I am having a hard time accepting that she is getting older, weaker and more dependant on her children and grandchildren. My grandmother never seemed to age….she is 78 and still does not have one wrinkle! Not even crow’s feet under her eyes. In my eyes she has always been strong, sassy, independent and a fierce fighter for her family.



My Granny does not believe in letting grass grow under her feet. She still worked full time until she had her stroke. She said retirement was not for her…old folks retire and activity was good for the body and brain. So as long as she felt up to it her children (as if they had any say) continued to let her work.


Granny is a country woman born in Yazoo, Mississippi did not believe in going to the doctor. Shoot I’ve seen my grandma “cure” ailments a million times. Got a cold, granny can take some lemon, herbs, cognac and other ingredients and make some “cough syrup” we called a hot toddie. Man… that toddie had you feeling better in within a matter of hours. I’ll never forget the time she “cured” my cousin Lil Mike of asthma! Lil Mike kept having asthma attacks and she was tired of seeing those doctors push large does of medicines and steroids on her great- grandbaby. She called down to Yazoo, got the recipe from her Auntie and she was giving Lil Mike her version of a breathing treatment. It has been years since Lil Mike (who is not so little any more)

But now that Granny is sick who can “cure” the effects of her strokes. Could it be the doctors at the hospital, the pharmaceutical companies, the rehabilitation therapist or her magic herbs and potions? I’m not really sure but I am praying that we find a way to get her back to her old self as soon as possible.

Having to watch my Granny try to talk with slurred speech was heart breaking. It was painful to ask her to repeat herself so many time before my brain finally picked up on what she was trying to say. Her speech pattern is very abnormal and it frustrates her that people have to lean in close to her and really concentrate on what she is trying to say. It has gotten to the point that Granny does not like to talk because she hates that her family and friends can’t always understand what she is trying to say.

I was asked by the nurse if I would like to feed my Granny lunch! The nurse had so much enthusiasm in her voice when she asked me that question, but to be it was just another sign that my Granny was losing more of her independency. Part of me wanted to say no….my Granny is capable of feeding herself she is not a damn baby. But then I looked at her in the bed looking frailer and weaker than I’ve ever seen her in my life and gave the nurse a faint smile while nodding yes.


Shortly after her meal Granny feel asleep and I just kept looking at her praying and hoping that this was not the beginning of the end. I know that if my Granny does not get better anytime soon she will stop fighting for her recovery, she detest being an invalid that much. She is used to being the caretaker not the ill person.

But as difficult as it is to watch her deal with her health problems, I consider it an honor to feed her and help her through these trying moments. I am just having a hard time dealing with the fact that she may not ever be as strong as she used to be.

No Rest For The Weary

I just wanted to take a moment and say hey. Whew my life seems like a complete whirlwind right now. So many things to do and so little time. Like tomorrow I am taking a day off of work….but don’t get too excited because I for sure won’t be vacationing.

Lets see…. the grass needs to be cut in the front and back of the house. The weeds need to be pulled up along the fence and all that 4th of July trash need to picked up from in front of the house. Not that I popped any fire works or had a cook out at me house…but magically all the fireworks end up in front of my house.


Then I have to study for a test and a final! I cant tell you the last time I watched television. My day is jammed packed and if I could add a few extra hours to the day I most definitely would.

I few things have been going on in STL that has me scratching my head. There seems to be a war between the thugs and the police. Police have been getting shot and thugs have been getting killed, and the police cant always tell the difference between thugs and regular black men.

Seems like every time I get to hear the news the police have killed somebody or somebody tried to kill the police!


Then there is the VA clinic that could have possible infected over a thousand veterans to HIV and Hepatitis . These fools were hand washing their dental equipment instead of placing them inside the mandated cleaning devices. I am sure that there will be a class action suit regarding this foolery. I hope the person in charge gets fired and they person who thought they were doing their job hand washing the tools, they need to get fired too.


So I will post again really soon, until then stay prayerful and safe