Fighting the Fat

Due to depression and pure laziness I managed to gain about 80lbs over the last seven years. Earlier this year I decided to take control of my life and resolve some of the issues that have plagued me for years. In 2005 I moved to the west coast away from everyone and things that were familiar. Thankfully during this time I was able to hear God’s voice clearly and uninterrupted. Its amazing how when you don’t have family and friends to distract you from your inner struggle what one can accomplish. Don’t get me wrong my people never held me back, but it was easier to pretend that I was okay with my life as long as I had them around. When it’s just you and God he will show you your weakness and your frailty. When I moved to the west coast I wanted to get myself together and get a clear vision of what I wanted to accomplish in life. Needless to say I have dealt with a majority of my emotional issues now I must shed the weight. To me the weight is a representation of a time when I was walking around with my head in a cloud, so it is imperative that the weight comes off. However, losing weight is easier said than done. I started gaining weight in college (shout out to Central Missouri State University) and then once I got into the “real” world I ate when I was depressed, to celebrate, when I was bored, when I was happy, and any damn time I felt like it. So finally I said I ‘m not going out like Lutha and nem I was going to get myself healthy and lose at least 70lbs. I’d like to announce that I have successfully lost 26lbs, but now it is getting really hard. As I sit here typing I’m hungry as hell! This morning I was suppose to go for my morning walk and I was just not in the mood ( I got on the scale and I did not lose any weight and I got pissed off and went back to sleep). I generally walk/jog 6.8 miles 5-6 times a week, but the weight is coming off so slow that at times I get discouraged and say F*ck it, and today was one of those days. Tomorrow I will get back on the horse and start all over again. But I am still sticking to the eating plan,1000 calories a day, come on give a sistah a break you know I could snap out any minute living on a thousand calories a day with fruit for snacks and at least 8 glasses of water everyday. Okay, y’all I gotta get back to work. I may post again today if I get the chance.