The Danger Of Living In Your Own Corner Of The World

Well as many of you already know I share a home with two roommates. One of my roommates (let’s call her Suze) is originally from Jackson Hole, WY and the other one ( lets call her Diane) was born and raised in Ventura, CA. I have accomplished many wonderful things my job and education has afforded me the ability to live in wonderful neighborhoods and mingle with people from different cultures and high economic standing. But please don’t get it twisted…. I from the hood.. born and raised in the ghetto, many of my family still live in the ghetto and when I go back to St. Louis I spend a majority of my time in areas known as urban ghettos.


Both of my roommates are white and occasionally we clash on social issue and political forums. Saturday was one of those days. I love to watch The Wire and I was watching back to back episodes in the living room when the roomies came in. Both Suze and Diane sat down and began to watch the show; during this part of the show a mother had sold all the food in the home to feed her crack habit. Her son asked her what happened to the food? She told him that since he confiscated the food stamp card she had to do what she had to do. Suze asks Diane, “What are food stamps? “…. Diane says, “I think they are a governmental supplement used to purchase food….. right Black Doll?” Oh how the hell am I supposed to know….. do it look like I received food stamps or sumpthing? I look over at Suze and say you’re 40 years old and have never heard of food stamps…. yeah right. So we keep on watching the show, and the show discusses the broken Baltimore School District, dope boys, crack heads, killing ya know your basic things you encounter in the hood. So Suze starts chuckling to her partna Diane and says “ Does anything happy ever happen to these people?” Okay, now I’m hot and pissed off too! I say to both of them, “this show is the reality of many people in America, this show represents the plight of millions of people and you should thank God that you can not relate. You should shout for joy that you never heard of the word food stamps and that you never had to use them, you should do cart wheels in the street if you never had to attend a school that is dilapidated and teachers don’t give a damn, if you never encountered a crack head you should be grateful. But this is the reality of America not many of us can say we lived a life full of blessing and joy and that happiness followed us around like an annoying gnat!!!!!” I got up and left both of them broads setting there looking like…. what happened.


Excuse my French.. but how in the hell could you live 40 years on this earth and not know about food stamps and be so blind to the sufferings of people living in the “urban” areas. Surely people like Donald Trump with all of his billions of dollars do not think poverty does not exist. How can people live in the box of their own reality and not know what is going on in the rest of the world. This kinda reminds me of what went down in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina. All of the sudden people were saying they did not realize people were that poor in New Orleans and they did not know that the living conditions were so dire. And I say to that….. yeah right. We lead people to believe that America is so rich and her streets are paved with gold, opportunities are waiting for her occupants at each turn….. and that is not the SOLID truth. We turn our backs on our poor while we help other countries build up their nations. We offer substandard education and health care to the underprivileged, we use capitalism as a way to pay meager wages, we ignore or indigent and destitute people. Many of the upper middle class and wealthy folks have distanced themselves from the reality of those that are not in their economic circle. I understand we live in a… you scratch my back and I’ll scratch your back society and if you don’t have anything to give get away because this nation is built on give and take. I just wish people would be more conscience of the plight of others, sometimes it is better to give than to receive, sometimes it’s better to make a sacrifice for the sake of someone else. I urge you to look outside your little circle and see the reality of others and see what small difference you can make, just don’t pretend that it doesn’t exist, cause in that way you are making yourself part of the problem and not part of the solution.

Swinging in Texas

I know I’ve been coming at y’all with a lot of articles that I come across. But you have to admit there are some interesting things going on out there. Lately I can’t believe some of the things I read … and today is no exception.

What if you and your significant other decided to spice things up and add another couple to the mix? You know…….swinging ****blushing******. I personally am not ready for something like that but some people find it very…….. Ahem…. therapeutic for their relationships. Whichever way you feel about the situation do you feel it’s fair for the court to decide? While reading NEWSWEEK I found that a court in Texas is trying to stop a couple from having swinger’s parties at their home.

Jim Trulock and Julie Norris look like an average suburban Dallas couple. He's a graying middle-aged divorcé pushing 60. She's 30 years younger but partial to frumpy floral dresses. But on weekends their late-'70s split-level house in the southwestern Dallas suburb of Duncanville is transformed into "The Cherry Pit." Tubs of whipped cream are laid out with the chips and dip on the yellow Formica countertop. A garland of thong panties adorns a kitchen wall. After a game of Naked Twister or a turn under the disco ball, Jim and Julie and their most intimate friends might pile into their steamy oversize hot tub. And for the, ahem, climax of the night? A semiprivate romp in a side bedroom or a more gregarious encounter on white sheets in "the pit": a half-dozen beds pushed together in front of the fireplace.

But city officials said they had received dozens of complaints over the years that the "parties" on Cedar Ridge Drive were attracting streams of traffic to their normally quiet neighborhood. After examining the couple’s Web site, officials found a request for a suggested donation of $50 per couple (since removed) and accused Trulock of running a sex business from his home. In early November the Duncanville city council passed a law against sex clubs, calling them a public nuisance to the self-proclaimed family-friendly city.


The Cherry Pit parties continued, and Trulock was cited twice for the misdemeanor crime of operating a sex club. On Wednesday Trulock filed suit against the city, saying the new law is unconstitutional on the grounds that it invades the couple's privacy, denies them due process and is overly vague. "What they do behind closed doors, unless it's some kind of activity involving violence or children or animals or drugs, it's none of the government's business!"

I must say that I agree with the couple. I am sure that man is not making a great deal money off the parties. I bet they have to buy… wine, chips, dips, condoms, anal beads, dildos, k-y jelly, costumes, soap, sheets, and other miscellaneous things needed to have good sex parties. Why should they pay for everything? Y’all know that $ 50.00 was used to get the parted started. (lol) And around Christmas time you can find quite a few mama’s getting their “swang” on to get those babies some Christmas gifts. The court system (especially in Texas) need to get a life and concentrate on things that matter. By the way what’s your opinion?

Some Peope Just Don't Get It

Why does Christmas bring out the worse in some people? Many of us recognize that Jesus is the reason for the season and kindness, mercury, generosity, and forgiveness should be the theme of Christmas. Well unfortunately I can not tell you how many criminals look to take advantage of people around this time. Shopping malls, ATMs and dark parking lots are a few places where evil people lurk to take advantage of people like you and me looking to get our shop til you drop on. Hell some things are not safe in your own home. Here is a story that ran in the St. Louis Post Dispatch.


Police say someone broke into a home on the 1800 block of James Harvey.
Investigators say once inside the intruder took all of the presents in the house, and stole this Christmas from Denitra Green and her three little boys.
The single mother of three was at work during the break in, and the intruder used that time to take every gift she bought for her three little boys.
The thief even peeled away the wrappings before taking the packages.
With little time before Christmas and little cash, Green has no options left.
The Wellston Police Department is still searching for answers in this case.


This low life, no good, scum of the earth, loser had the nerve to open the gifts before he stole them. How hard does your heart hafta be to still from kids..huh. I hope someone in the neighborhood reports the offender… cuz lets face it in the hood at least one person knows who committed each crime. People this is a time to give and love, a time to offer a simple smile, maybe open the door for some one struggling with packages and reflect on the blessings of life.

I like many of you is already strapped for cash and gifts will be skeet this year. But I love this time of year and I am overly nice and kind during this time. And if you live in St Louis and happen to know who stole from these babies do the right thing and turn the bastard into the police.

The Professional Con Artist

Anyone that has ever dealt with insurance companies knows they are dealing with scammers. Insurance companies are legal con artist. Whether it’s health insurance or property insurance, most only care about the mighty dollar and customers come last. It is the only industry where customers pay for the “just in case” moments of life, but if you use the product you are subjected to higher prices or possibly being dropped all together. While reading the Wall Street Journal I was floored by the story of Deborah Shank and her run in with her health insurance company owned by Wal-Mart.

A collision with a tractor-trailer seven years ago left 52-year-old Deborah Shank permanently brain-damaged and in a wheelchair. Her husband, Jim, and three sons found a small source of solace: a $700,000 accident settlement from the trucking company involved. After legal fees and other expenses, the remaining $417,000 was put in a special trust. It was to be used for Deborah Shank's care.

Instead, all of it is now slated to go to Deborah's former employer, Wal-Mart Stores.
Two years ago, the retail giant's health plan sued the Shanks for the $470,000 it had spent on her medical care. A federal judge ruled last year in Wal-Mart's favor, backed by an appeals-court decision in August. Now, Deborah's family has to rely on Medicaid and her Social Security payments to keep up her round-the-clock care.


The reason is a clause in Wal-Mart's health plan that Deborah Shank didn't notice when she started stocking shelves at a nearby store eight years ago. Like most company health plans, Wal-Mart's reserves the right to recoup the medical expenses it paid for someone's treatment if the person also collects damages in an injury suit.


Until recently, many employers didn't vigilantly enforce the provision, and some states and federal courts didn't think the claim held water. But as the cost of covering workers continues to escalate, employers and health plans are getting more aggressive about going after the money. A U.S. Supreme Court ruling last year also has given them a clearer legal map to suing employees and winning. Employers and insurers generally didn't go after small claims. But a more-sophisticated claim tracking has made it easier. Recovery companies systematically search claims for certain medical codes -- say, a sprained ankle or head trauma -- that flag a potential accident. Claims examiners then mail a questionnaire and often follow up with calls. If the injured person confirms it was an accident, the firm tracks whether the patient files an injury suit.


In case y’all don’t know I hate Wal-Mart and will never give them a thin dime of my hard earned cash. But Wal-Mart is not alone in this type of behavior, it can be experienced at any company. While I understand that health care coverage is expensive, especially when there is a terminally illness or extensive injury involved. However, most employees are out of work and have no incoming funds to support their families during the time they are sick and to take money won in a settlement is ridiculous. The whole point of having insurance is to prevent the insured from coming out the pocket…… right?

Not to mention Wal-Mart does not pay much money to start with, this lady needs round the clock medical attention and this billion dollar company tripping off $470,000. Insurance company’s got the legislators by the balls because the contribute big money to campaigns to ensure they can continue fucking the American consumers. If you ask me insurance companies are the very ones that created the disparity in medical treatment. Between the doctors, the prescription industry and the insurance company they don’t give a shit if a muthafucker lives or dies only thing they care about is greenbacks…….period. I apologize for the profanity but this mess right here is very near and dear to my heart. I have lost a few relatives due to HMOs and their mission to save a dime or people not having insurance at all and receiving inferior treatment. I hope God deals harshly with those that exploit weak people for the sake of a buck. In the end we all will be accountable for our actions and I believe these companies will be accountable for theirs as well.

You Told Harpo To Beat Me?

Sunday I saw the Color Purple live and in living color in Los Angeles. When those tickets went on sale I was on them suckers like hotcakes. I have been waiting to see this play for a long time, but going to New York was not in the budget, I just thank my lucky stars that it finally made it to the west coast. It goes without saying, but the place was packed, it was so many people in the theater we looked like sardines in a can. I was pleased to see so many parents brought their kids to the play. It brought back memories of when my auntie use to take me to the fabulous Fox Theater in St. Louis to see plays like Dream Girls, The Wiz, and Raisin in the Sun. I love the theater and can not wait to drag my own kids to plays.

The play was fantastic and all the actors were great. Jeanette Bayardelle is the actress that played Celie did the damn thing. Her diction and pitch were perfect, she brought emotion and strength to the character. I must admit I shed a tear or two and was totally pulled into the life of Celie. Latoya London from American Idol played the role of Nettie, not only can this girl sing but she can act too! When it came to the part were Mister made Nettie leave the house, Latoya put so much feeling into that act, I started crying again. Did I mention that Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child played the infamous role of Shug Avery? I was hesitant to accept Michelle in this role, but she was very good and gave a great performance. Lesbianism played a huge part in this play. In the film it is slightly hinted that Shug and Celie had a “relationship”. Well in the play they become a couple……. can you believe that. After Celie leaves Mister and goes to Memphis with Shug and her husband, Shug’s husband leaves her for Squeaky (the girl that was dating Harpo, after Sophia left). Once Shug’s husband ran off… she and Celie became an official item.


The play also tackled domestic violence and reiterated over and over that women should not subject themselves to the abuse of a man. The mantra for domestic violence was “HELL NO”. There were many other highlights but I do not want to give the entire play away so I highly suggest you see it… when and if you can. Plus I hear that Chaka Khan is getting ready to play the role of Sophia… I would love to see her in that role. The play will be going nation wide tour soon so when you hear about it get your tickets and get ready for a great show. I give two thumbs up.

Crack vs Cocaine

I’ve discussed the disparity in the sentence structure involving crack cocaine and powered cocaine. It’s no secret that black people tend to get caught the crack and white people tend to deal with the powder. I hate, detest, dislike, loathe and abhor all drug dealers. If it was my decision they would all be sentenced to work in sweat shops in China, used years of indentured servitude. Although I am repulsed by drug dealers they deserve to be treated fairly, regardless of what type of drug they are selling. With that in mind, The Sentencing Commission recently changed the guidelines to reduce the disparity in prison time for distributing crack verses distributing powdered cocaine. New guidelines took effect Nov. 1 after Congress took no action to overturn the change.


Monday's Supreme Court ruling grew out of a decision three years ago in which the justices ruled that judges need not strictly follow the sentencing guidelines. Instead, appellate courts would review sentences for reasonableness, although the court has since struggled to define what it meant by that term. See this is where shit is going to get shaky, because the racist judges have a problem to defining the term “reasonableness”. Now these lower court judges have been lawyers at some point in their careers, went to law school and attended college yet a simple word like reasonableness confuses them. I need a promotion, let me be a damn judge. I am sure that all that is needed is some damn common sense. Why would I send Tyrone to Rickers Island for 15 years when he only got caught with 5 rocks? I would give’em 3 years, that’s reasonable right?
Justice Clarence Thomas, said that after Monday's decisions, "Sentencing disparities will gradually increase." The court's decision and the Sentencing Commission's change in the guidelines leave untouched the minimum sentences, which only Congress can alter.
Sorry Uncle Tom I just don’t buy that this move will cause a decrease in sentencing disparities. However, I do believe that this change in the guidelines will offer hope to many dope peddlers in terms of sentencing structures. Instead of Tyrone getting 15 years for 5 rocks he will get 10 years. Listen… as long as the judges in these cases are mainly white, and view black men as vicious animals that need to be caged there will always be a disparity. I will not go into my rant about the way the world view black men, but it does play apart in everything from employment, credit, judicial sentence structure, being pulled over and education just to name a few
This change in the guidelines could cut prison time for as many as 19,500 federal inmates convicted of crack crimes. So your local dealer may be coming home sooner than expected.

Tell A Sistah Sumpting She Don't Know!!!!

As I stated in the title I am not about to tell you anything new. However I thought this was interesting and wanted to bring it to the people and mix in my opinion of course.


The American Civil Liberties Union today released a scathing preliminary analysis of a recent government report to a United Nations committee about the state of racial discrimination in the United States. The report was submitted to the U.N. Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination (CERD) in Geneva.

Dennis Parker, Director of the ACLU's Racial Justice Program. “The report attempts to describe the state of race relations and intolerance in the United States, but it ignores the continuing persistence of structural racism and inequality in this country.

Now I gotta chuckle outta Dennis Parker. Mr. Parker did you actually think White America ( the gub’ment) would tell the truth and accept that racial equality in America is just a theory and not concept that is actually practiced. Hell the gub’ment is more concerned about healing the riff between the Sunni’s and Shiite’s than dealing with racial inequality here in America.

The International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination, a treaty signed and ratified by the U.S. in 1994. All levels of U.S. government are required to comply with the treaty’s provisions, which require countries to review national, state-wide and local policies and to amend or repeal laws and regulations that create or perpetuate racial discrimination. Since ratification, the U.S. has submitted only one report in 2000 on its compliance with the treaty, which combined three overdue reports. The United States was due to submit additional reports in November 2003, but failed to meet the deadline. The recent U.S. submission combines two overdue reports covering 2000 - 2006.


The United States don’t give a damn. How they gon submit the reports late, and if they are documenting racial disparities for the last 6 years they betta have several reams of paper ready cause all kind of mess has went down in the past 6 years. I will not hold my breath to see if they document all the issues of racial inequities we face in the good ole USA.

According to the ACLU’s initial analysis, when the USA did submit a report it was full of misrepresentations and omissions. For example, the report states that reasons for disparities in incarceration rates between whites and minorities is related to criminal activity, but solid research by academic and government sources demonstrates the disparities are due to government policies and disparate treatment of minorities in the criminal justice system. Striking omissions in the report include no mention of the Hurricane Katrina aftermath; the “school to prison pipeline,” whereby the criminal justice system overzealously funnels students of color onto a path toward prison; or the dramatic increase in hate crimes and xenophobia in America. Moreover, despite the clear requirement to provide state-related information, the government only comprehensively reported on four states – Oregon, South Carolina, New Mexico, and Illinois – inexplicably neglecting to provide adequate information on racially diverse states such as California, Texas, New York, Florida, or the Gulf Coast states devastated by Hurricane Katrina. In addition, the U.S. submission fails to report on gender-related dimensions of racial discrimination and on the treatment of migrants and non-citizens.

Uh huh…. Tell a sistah sumpting she don’t know. I get money slips from people I know in jail on a regular basis. Not to mention the gap in the sentence structure, they quick to send a nucca up the river, and send “Conner” to rehab.

“We will continue to call on the U.S. government to live up to its promises to end racial discrimination and to meet its legal obligations to submit more comprehensive and accurate information to the CERD committee so that a productive dialogue can ensue,” said Bhatnagar.
All I can say to that is Good Luck!!!!!

Adults Believe in Santa Clause Too

I was surfing the net and discovered an article about a family on the Upper West Side of New York. The family placed an ad in New York magazine pleading for $1 million to buy an apartment so they can stay in their wealthy neighborhood. The ad reads as follows….


"WE NEED HELP BUYING AN APARTMENT on the UWS (upper west side), 3bd 2 bath. YOU are a philanthropic, wealthy person who would not miss a million bucks and would be interested in donating (or even investing) in a highly targeted manner: to my family. WE are a wonderful, hard working middle class family who contributes to our UWS community, is entrenched, happy and desperately wants to remain on the UWS (lest the city lose yet another wonderful family to the burbs). We can afford 600-700K, so you see the predicament. Can you help us??"


Okay, since when is it fashionable to put an ad in the paper asking someone to buy you house and a million dollar house at that! They say they can afford 600-700k, WTF…. what do you mean you need help! This spits in the face of homelessness, poverty, the working poor, and any other situation that involve the needy. The sad part is it would not surprise me if these people find someone who will donate a million dollars to them, while stepping over people in need everyday. If I met the family member that placed this ad I would slap the taste of their mouth (as mama would say), because if you have at least $600,000 to work with you are already doing better that 85% of Americans, and you got the nerve to be begging. Nothing surprises me anymore. Since they can ask for someone to buy them a million dollar apartment…...... can I get someone to pay off my Hyundai Excel, and my Macy’s credit card… Holla at yo girl if you can help.

CAN U HEAR..... I TOLD U I WAS CRAZY!!!!

As many of you know I am on a sexual hiatus (celibate) and I’ve also decided to give up dating for awhile. This was really not a hard decision because after my last “relationship”, and I use the term relationship very loosely, I realized that I was making some poor choices in terms of who I chose to date. Not to mention, the “relationship” ended on very bad terms and I just need a break. So I am going on with my life, minding my very own business and POW……. I bumped into my friend’s brother, whom I haven’t seen or spoken to in about 16 years. This brotha tells me that he has had a secret crush on me since I was 15 but never had the guts to approach me and wanted to know if we could talk on the phone from time to time. I agreed, what’s wrong with talking…..it’s not a relationship right? So last night we were talking and the word relationship came up and I advised him that I was not in any condition to be in another relationship. We finish our conversation and I felt confidant that this will be a friendship and nothing more. So later that evening I speak to him again and he tells me that he is really feeling me and want to be more that just friends. So I decided to just keep it real with brotha man. I said, “I’ma be honest with you, I ain’t relationship material right now, I am nursing a broken heart, I’m still mad at that other nigga, I feel like damaged goods and I really don’t want to be in a relationship right now because I am having some trust issues, I feel all men are liars, and they thrive on hurting women. Now with that said I feel I would not be a good girlfriend for you. You would think he would go running towards the hill…..you would be wrong. He paused for a minute, then says “ I think you should try to move on and leave the past in the past. Why you gone let another man keep you from being happy. You should just dust yourself off and know that there is someone out there that will love you, care, for you, adore you, and accept you. So what he was not the one, that does not mean all men are dogs, and that you are damaged goods, it just means that you and him were not meant to be together.”


I roll my eyes up in my head, thinking this fool just does not get it. I try to explain to him that I do not want another dysfunctional relationship, I don’t wanna hurt nobody and I don’t want nobody to hurt me. Basically right now I am a crazy woman and I feel so sorry for the next man that hurts my feelings, I hope is mama has life insurance, cause the next man will be leaving the relationship with stitches if he breaks my heart!!!!! (lol) . I understand that not all men are dogs and that there are some good men out there but right now I just do not want to be bothered with a man… PERIOD.

My question is why do people want to deal with crazy people? I think I heard this on Oprah, “when people tell you or show you who they are….. believe them.” Here I am telling this man I am crazy, deranged and not good relationship material and he still wants a relationship! Don’t get it twisted, this guy seems to be really nice, he reads, he speaks well, and the conversation flows nicely but he is my friend’s brother and I don’t want to mess up our friendship over some relational issues with her brother. Plus I don’t want my friend to know all my personal business, he is very close with his sister and I can see him discussing our business with her, which will be a big no-no. Why the hell would the universe send me someone when I clearly stated that I am out the dating game….. I GIVE UP, DONE , FINISHED, SURRENDER, VAMONOS, CONCLUDING, COMPLETING, BOWING OUT, EXITING, REMOVING MYSELF, CEASE, END, TERMINATE, RELEASE, CONCLUDE, STOP in other words I am not dating again... FOR A LONG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I just want to heal, get my self together and learn to love me and accept me in all my beautiful glory. Ole boy did a number on my heart and I really don’t feel it’s fair to have another pay for crimes he did not commit. Maybe 6 months down the road things will change but right now this is how I feel. I really do want a good man, a committed man, and man that knows how to be strong and knows there are times when I need him to be sensitive. As I said in a previous post finding a man that is ready to commit can be very hard… hell finding a man that is willing to pay for a date without expecting a woman to put out at the end can be hard. However, if Mr. Right showed up today I am sure I would scare him away, so I wish this man would either be patient and just be my friend or accept the fact that I am just in a good place to be his woman.

Happy Berf-Day 2 Me

Well today is my berf-day, and things seem pretty normal so far. My berf-day always brings a time of reflection. If I could re-start my life I probably wouldn’t change a thing. Have I made wrong choices?..... Plenty of them, as a matter of fact I am sure to make a wrong choice before the end of this week, but as I grow my failures are becoming just as important as my successes. As I enter my third decade on this earth I realize some things are not as important as they seemed in my twenties. For example when I was in undergrad I would sit in my dorm room and plan my life. By age 25 I wanted to be halfway up the career ladder, by 28 I wanted to be married, by 30 start a family, retire by age 45, and live happily ever after. Thank God wisdom comes with age, because thus far I can only check the career off the list, because the other areas in my life can not be mandated by a check list. If you would have asked me 10 years ago if I saw myself chasing my career in Phoenix then moving to Los Angeles, single, living with roommates, no kids, and no husband ( or boyfriend for that matter) in site and loving it I would have yelled HELL NAW.. I ain’t leaving St. Louis ever, but life has a way of throwing curve balls at cha and things happen unexpectedly, it’s what makes life worth living. The failed relationships, the broken hearts, financial woes, job loss, horrible interviews, pay day loans, car repossession and deaths of loved ones have all shaped me into the person I am today, and I LOVE IT. To me every berf-day is a representation of being an over- comer, as Grandma would say sh!t happens……to good and bad people. At this time in my life I am finally letting go and letting flow, contentment can be your friend, chasing the next big thing can be exhausting. Believe me I am tired of the chase, so I am letting go and enjoying the scenery of life. Life is a beautiful thing …. I’ll be living my life like it’s golden again next year.

Entry Level Wages + Poverty = Share Cropping

Yesterday at church I was surprised by the Pastor’s choice of lecture, he chose to speak on the working poor and the extremely poor. My church is located in West Lake, CA, which is a very influential and economically sound area in Los Angeles County. The Pastor specifically spoke to the CEO’s and Executive Mangers about the coming holiday season and how many of the them look forward to giving or receiving expensive gifts, while many of their entry level workers would be struggling to provide Christmas gifts for their families. I was very surprised to hear this, but was glad that the church recognized the disparity between the million dollar salaries, bonus packages, employment perks, stock options, and great retirement packages offered to the CEO’s and Executive Managers, while front line and entry level employees teeter on the line of poverty.

In case you don’t know (where the hell you been?) The working poor is defined as individuals and families who maintain regular employment but remain in relative poverty due to low levels of pay and dependent expenses. Officially, in the United States, the working poor are defined as individuals who spent at least 27 weeks in the labor force (working or looking for work), but whose incomes fell below the official poverty level. Often, those defined as "working poor" have negative net worth and lack the ability to escape personal and economic contingencies.


I remember a few years ago I was laid off of work and was looking for a job for 6 months. After 6 months of looking for a decent paying job I gave up and starting to apply for any and all jobs. My unemployment checks had run out and I had a mortgage to pay. After putting in what seemed like hundreds of applications finally one place called…… yes! This job was a subsidiary of Daimler Chrysler and I would provide customers with recall information over the phone. The interview went great and I was ecstatic when they offered my job……. but my excitement soon faded when they told me that the starting salary was $8.75 per hour. I said, “Excuse me, did you say $8.75 per hour?” The HR representative stated the hourly wage again and had no shame in her game, a matter of fact she said it in a take it or leave it tone of voice. I was in school at the time and really needed some income like ASAP so I took it. I was miserable the entire time I was there; it was so hard to go to work and even harder to make $ 1250.00 stretch enough to pay all my bills, plus have money left over to do little things like, uh….. eat and buy gas to get to work. Luckily I could depend on friends and family to help me through this rough patch. ( I was so desperate I tried to go to the welfare office and get food stamps, and they told me since I owned a home and did not have kids I did not qualify, ain’t that some sh!t) I can not tell you how many payment arrangements I had on all the utility bills, and how many times I paid the minimum on everything and prayed nothing got turned off. I even went to some of those organizations that help people pay their utility bills, they told me that since I made over $10,000 a year I made too much money, and I was not on any government assistance.. ie foodstamps, wic, or getting a welfare check, they could not help me. Here I was a single woman trying to basically feed myself, but there were others that had kids as well as the normal expenses. I often wondered what they did to make ends meet, because I was short every month. It would make me so mad to see Chrysler making millions of dollars of profits and paying their workers chump change.

NY Post recently wrote an article about this issue and found:

“In a weak labor market, younger workers do the worst,” said Lawrence Mishel, the institute’s president. “Young workers are on the cutting edge of experiencing all the changes in the economy. The percentage of young adults who are working has dropped since 2000 largely because many have grown discouraged and stopped looking for work. This has happened even though the unemployment rate, which counts only people looking for work, has fallen to 4.4 percent for those ages 25 to 34. It is 8.2 percent for workers ages 20 to 24.


It makes my blood boil every time President Busch says that the economy is strong and getting stronger. I wish I could ask him where he was getting that information from, and does he have SOLID proof. The people I know are coming out of college loaded with debt and fighting for the few good paying jobs that are available.

I wish people of influence and prestige would begin to see that wealth should be shared not horded exclusively for upper management and CEO’s. In some companies entry level wages reminds me of share cropping because the low level employees only see a small portion of money, while the company profits millions. People have been saying for years that the middle class will eventually disappear and there will only be rich and poor. It’s getting painfully clear that we are heading in that direction.

BLACK KKK?

I fooling around on the internet and discovered an interesting article that spoke of the Black KKK. The author, Jason Whitlock believes that the Black KKK has caused the black community to suffer immeasurable damage that often goes unpunished. The Black KKK is very similar to the White KKK , both groups target black communities, both have no compassion for black lives, their goal is to rob the black community and cause black people to live in fear. Millions of black people live with the affects of the Black KKK, and I am sure you, your family, or your friends have dealt with a situation that involved the Black KKK. The Black KKK is comprised of African American men, women, and children that participate in the killing, robbing, selling drugs, or any activities that derogates the black community. The Jason goes on to say the following.

“Well, when shots are fired and a black man hits the pavement, there's every statistical reason to believe another black man pulled the trigger. That's not some negative, unfair stereotype. It's a reality we've been living with, tolerating and rationalizing for far too long. When the traditional, white KKK lynched, terrorized and intimidated black folks at a slower rate than its modern-day dark-skinned replacement, at least we had the good sense to be outraged and in no mood to contemplate rationalizations or be fooled by distractions . Let's cut through the bull(manure) and deal with reality. Black men are targets of black men. Period. Go check the coroner's office and talk with a police detective. These bullets aren't checking W-2s. “

I must agree with Jason, growing up in the ghetto we always hoped that the drug dealers would just go away. We relied on the police and governmental agencies to correct the problems in our neighborhood. In my old neighborhood there were many elderly people that owned their homes but felt helpless when it came to the Black KKK. As a kid all I could do is watch the devastation spread like a bad case of the claps. After years of living in hell, gun shots and police sirens were just the background music to our “hood”. Soon even the music started to reflect what was going own in many black neighborhoods, shortly after it seemed rap began to celebrate the virtual rape of the black community.
Jason Whitlock stated in his article that he believed our self-hatred has been set to music and reinforced by a pervasive culture that promotes a crab-in-barrel mentality. He passionately stated,
“You're damn straight I blame hip hop for playing a role in the genocide of American black men. When your leading causes of death and dysfunction are murder, ignorance and incarceration, there's no reason to give a free pass to a culture that celebrates murder, ignorance and incarceration. “

The Black KKK also has a mentality of thinking. People that are mentally connected to the Black KKK always represent the hood even when they make it out of the hood. T.I. is a great example of this. The "keepin' it real" mantra of hip hop is in direct defiance to evolution. Black KKK participants feel you're selling out if you move away from the immature and dangerous activities you used to do, you're selling out if you speak proper English, embrace education, dress like a grown man, do anything mainstream. The Black KKK is enforcing the same crippling standards as its parent organization. It wants to keep black men in their place — uneducated, outside the mainstream and six feet deep.

Jason Whitlock went on to say that Black people are the only people that can save the next generation and save themselves along the way. We are the solution to the sky rocketing percentage of incarcerated black men, high school drop out rates, HIV/AIDS, and other ills that plague our community. My personal goal is to start a non profit organization that will focus on girls/women living in extreme poverty. I also want to create a commercial/ residential real estate group that will bring businesses, jobs and affordable housing to urban black communities. My question to you is how will you help?

I'm Not The Only One...But It Sure Feels Like It

If your black, single, and fairly successful (you can pay your rent , buy some groceries, pay the utilities, and car note on time….that constitutes success to me) I will not be telling nothing you don’t already know. Not only is it hard out here for a pimp, it’s also hard out here for single black women. Never in my life have I experienced this much singledom. Finding a man that wants to be in a committed relationship is very hard in itself, but when you add additional characteristics such as productive, employed, preferably no babies, no gold teeth, articulate, and charming then thing get sticky. It’s not like these types of men do not exist, because they do…. no really they do, it’s just there is more inventory (women) at their disposal than ever before. According to statistics on college campuses there is a 7 to 1 ratio between women and men. Seven women to one man….. can you imagine how much pootang them brothers are getting. It’s like a virtual buffet of women and now days the men are more chooser than the women. Remember back in the day you could go out and just give a guy that “look” and within a few minutes he would be over trying to get ya number, well for the most part those days are long gone. In today’s market a sistah has to be aggressive and be ready to speak up if she wants a man. Batting eyelashes, swaying hips, and hair flips are things of the past, you must be prepared to ask him out and buy him a drink too!


Unfortunately, I am not that aggressive and still (somewhat) believe that men should do the initiating. I mean they are suppose to be the hunters and gathers right? I know the dynamics of dating while black is changing but I find it hard to get with the program. This phenomenon is not only affecting me it’s also occurring with several of my single sistah friends. Many find themselves dating below their normal standards due to the limited access to good “datable” men. For example you may find instead of dating the nice brother with a job and his own place you are being approached by the brother that just got out of Rikers Island, on house arrest, a gold grill, trying to get back in the “pharmaceutical” bidness but looking for a nice lady to spend his time with. Then you may say what the hell why not… next thing you know this brother trying act all brand new like he grade A top choice. I can not tell you how many times I have been left scratching my head tryna figure out how a man I’m really not all the interested in got the nerve to be acting a damn fool! I finally decided to just keep my cookies to myself… I am throwing my hands up and backing away from penis. Because right now I am thoroughly confused as to why a college educated, fairly decent looking, no kids having, good money making sistah like myself can’t find a man to save my life. No let me correct that, a man worth having to save my life.

And since I am complaining what’s up with marriage? If you happen to have a man according to the statistics the chances of you getting married to that man is very, very, very slim. The percentage of never-married black women 16 and older was 42.3 percent compared with 22.7 percent of white women, according to the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies in Washington. That means a white woman got double the chance of getting married that you and me. If you feeling high and mighty cause you are married I would suggest you check the statistics on the chance of you staying married and I’m sure that smug feeling you have will instantly dissipate. Cause based on statistics, there is a better chance that a black couple will die in a terrorist attack before their marriage last longer than 7 years. With that said I still wanna get married… at least give it a try. What gets me is you can meet a 450lb white woman missing all her teeth, and has one leg but I bet she is married. Then there is the Mexican lady with 8 kids, but guess what, they are all by the same man and he married her too! It seems like other cultures embrace the concept of marriage better than African Americans. Could it be that they are taught marriage and the theory of two is better that one at an early age? Maybe the men are taught that if you make babies with a woman make plans to marry her. I can’t really define the absolute reason behind the lack of enthusiasm of marriage in the black community, or why other ethnicities choose to marriage but I wish every woman and man could find their soul mate and live happily every after. Until then I am going to relax, live my life and see where this thing call life take me.

ONE OF OUR SISTAH'S IS MISSING

I lifted this article from afrobella.com because I think it is important to get this type of information out. Please copy and pass on.

Have you read about Latasha Norman? She’s been missing for over a week now, and the police chief in Jackson Miss. says race is the reason her disappearance hasn’t gotten more mainstream news attention. The Associated Press story quotes Jackson Police Chief Malcolm McMillin as saying that Norman’s disappearance should get “the same kind of concern” as that of Stacy Peterson. “As far as the interest by the national media in the story, I think race probably had an impact,” said McMillin, who is white. “It’s a small college in the South. It’s the daughter of simple people who maybe are not important outside of their circle, and maybe we don’t attach the same importance to them that we do for other people.” Tell us something we don’t know, Chief. I haven’t seen this story on CNN or MSNBC yet, so let’s raise the flags within our own community, and keep the Norman family in your thoughts and prayers

mandatory minimums hurt black people

I was reading US Today on-line and came across and article about a Federal Judge ignoring sentencing guidelines because she feels that mandatory minimums hurt black people.


A federal judge ignored federal sentencing guidelines Monday and used the conviction of a first-time drug dealer to make a rare policy statement from the bench, saying that mandatory minimum sentences for those convicted of drug crimes are hurting the black community.
"Isn't it time for us to say that there is on the one hand the impact of the drug trafficking and on the other hand the impact of mass incarceration of African-Americans from crack cocaine?" U.S. District Judge Nancy Gertner said in her Boston courtroom, according to The Boston Globe. "To suggest that the public safety requires the further incarceration of Mr. Haynes makes no sense."



Well it’s about damn time that somebody finally got the picture. Here it is blacks are only 12% of the population and 39.2% of the jail population. As a matter of fact, minorities make up 60 percent of prison population. To make matters worse, one in three African-American men aged 20-29 is in jail, on probation or on parole as opposed to one in 15 of their white counterparts. Mandatory sentencing guidelines and a growing number of drug-related convictions are factors in a continued growth of inmates held in federal, state and local prisons and jails in the United States.

An in my opinion a lot of this mess boils down to crack cocaine. I vividly remember the late eighties and early nineties when crack first came on the scene. The introduction of crack into the black communities brought massive devastation. I heard tales of women selling their babies, prostituting their young daughters, all kinds of stealing, and a colossal murder rate. All of the sudden you saw good hard working men with good jobs turn into homeless zombies stealing from Family Dollar to support their crack habits. Women that were once good mamas looking like death warmed over. Our once thriving communities became virtual war zones, while gangs and drug deals fought over territory. I began to see a lot of homes on the block become crack houses; others stopped taking care of their home and soon the entire neighborhood look dilapidated and unsafe.


Now twenty some odd years later all these black men are in prison doing looooooog stretches and the black is in scrambles I just glad at least one judge realized that the problem is so much bigger than handing out jail sentences like candy.

If meth dealers and users were handed mandatory sentences there would be uproar in the white community because the tables would turn and suddenly whites would be going to jail in large numbers. I hate drug dealers, regardless or race, religion, creed or color. I feel they all should be punished, but the punishment should be fair and just. It should not matter if the drug is powder cocaine, crack cocaine, heroin, ect. we should be focusing on justice, rehabilitation and the economy .

How may "discount" cards to you have?

This week I've been shopping like a maniac, I needed soap, then I need a few groceries, had to stop by Borders to pick up a book and on and on. As much as I shop you would not know that I hate crowds. But now I have another pet peeve that I recently added to my list. What’s up with the “discount” cards stores are now offering? In my area, each grocery store, book store, vitamin shop, and drug store have some type of “discount” card going on. So far I have collected 7 discount cards, which by the way is very hard to keep track of. But don’t fear if you don’t have your card they can look up the card number by your telephone number or email address. That’s right you have to register the card to get the “savings”. If you are wondering why I keep placing parenthesis around discount and savings, well the truth is in most cases there is no discount or savings to be had. For example, a loaf bread is regularly priced at $ 3.85, but with your discount card you can get the bread for $3.32 a total savings of 53 cents ( if that much, most of the time the saving are very minimal) . Stores are now using these cards to track customer spending habits and to determine how often you visit their stores. It’s basically a marketing ploy to get to the core of the consumers spending habits. Stores like CVS and Borders don’t offer instant savings, but they will send cardholders emails with coupons. Discount cards also allow companies to contact their customers via email or phone because you are required to provide that information prior to the card being issued, or you can do like I do and give a fake email and a fake phone number that way they can not sell your personal information. I mean I really don't have time for all these damn cards. First you gotta swipe the discount card, then you gotta swipe your credit or debit card. Too many steps if you ask me, but what's a sistah to do.

What you selling now.

I don’t know about your co-workers but regardless of what company I work for there is always at least one employee that is constantly trying to hock something. Either they are selling something for themselves, for their kids, for their spouse, or for their friends. Unfortunately, I’ma sucker for crafts and stuff in magazines, I don’t know why but show me a magazine of the stuff you are selling and I will find something that I like guaranteed. But check this out, my co-worker came in with the Avon book and says she is taking orders for her friend and wanted to know if anyone in the office wanted anything. Needless to say, I looked in the book and saw some good Christmas gifts and ordered a whole buncha stuff because I was going to charge it on my credit card. Y’all know buy now, pay later. I placed my order and went on about my merry way. A few days later co-worker was collecting the money and I let her know that I was paying by credit and to tell her friend to call me. She let me know later that day that her friend does not take credit. I said well on the back of her books it said that credit cards were accepted and even listed the ones they took. The next day I discovered I can order the stuff from Avon.Com and use my credit card, so I told the co-worker to tell her I would just cancel my order and order off the internet. I was even nice enough to tell her that I would give her friend’s name on the internet form so she could still get credit for the sale. Wouldn’t you know that she said, “Well she already has the stuff at her house, what do you want her to do with it.” I looked at her like, are you stupid? I said she can return it or resale it what eva she wants to do with it. A few days went by and then my co-worker left a note on my desk saying her friend wants me to pay for shipping to return the merchandise. Oh naw you dident!!!!! I told my co-worker I ain’t paying for no damn shipping. I advised her that she should have advised her “sales agents” that she does not take credit cards, and she should x out the credit card acceptance part on her books. She asked me again….. so what you want me to tell her. ( pure silence, can you here the crickets ) I said, “Tell her I’m not paying for shipping, and that it is an unfair business practice.” My co-worker started looking at me as if I was the devil himself. I apologized for any inconvenience but was adamant about not paying for shipping. I guess I can count on her not asking me to buy anything else from her or her friends, but oh well.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

When I was little my granddaddy use to tell us God made girls from sugar and spice and everything nice. And as I child I really believed that, he made me and my other cousins believe that God only used the best material to make little girls. However, as I matured and came of age I began to question my granddaddy’s tale of God’s perfection. Every month magazines attempt to diminish its subscribers (mostly women) self esteem by reminding them that a size 12 is considered plus size ( WTF, that’s skinny to me), and suggest some exercises that could possibly get you closer to that Amy Winehouse physique . Maybe your man has lost interest in sex, the magazine will tell you the top 10 sexual positions and tricks that may revive your relationship. Just when you thought you found the perfect hairstyle they are quick to advise you that bangs are last season and if you are wearing them you are totally out of season and out of style. And for the sistahs 30 and over you can forget it, you need to cop that $ 135.00 face cream because those smile lines are already starting to show. And we all know it is okay to be 30 but to look 30 is a big, big no- no. I went to a dermatologist office not to long ago and he was promoting something called Lipo-Disolve. Supposedly, this shot melts the fat away in 11-15 shots @ $300.00 a piece. I briefly wondered what type of ingredients dissolve cellulite, and would I really want something that is so potent that it dissolves fat injected into my body. Lets face it, women of all colors are constantly being told how imperfect they are and there are billions of dollars being made based on the insecurity of women. Since Kanye mother, Donda West died due to complications of plastic surgery I can’t turn on TV without hearing the good and the bad about plastic surgery. Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, The Insider and My Two Cents have all addressed plastic surgery (all week) and has included footage regarding Donda West untimely death. I will not make a defense for or against plastic surgery because sometimes it is medically necessary and other times it is used to “enhance” a person’s appearance. Either way it’s time for women to accept themselves and appreciate all that comes with being a woman. There will inevitably be times when plastic surgery is necessary but make it a last resort. As far as I am concerned there is no one standard of beauty. Beauty can be seen in a person’s smile, their attitude, physically, spiritually and many other ways. As Americans we have been taught to strive for a certain standard of beauty that is totally unattainable for most of us. Beyonce, Halle Berry and Alicia Keys are all beautiful women but if you are trying to obtain that standard of beauty and your 5’2, dark skin and 180lbs you can forget about it. Basically find what works for you and go with that, because beauty is really a subjective thing anyway certainly not worth dying over.

Slow Monday

Sorry for the lack of post but lately my life has been pretty normal and very uninteresting. Which in itself is a good thing, believe me I’ve had enough drama to last two lifetimes. Well it’s the beginning of the month and I’m broke all ready. I hate the beginning of the month because everything is due, and I watch my bank account slowly dwindle down to nothing. Y’all already know how I feel about paying the outrageously high rent and that was due plus other necessities like food and the car note. And to be honest I don’t think making more money would save me grief, because I am a typical negro, the more I make the more I spend, but I am slowly coming out of that thinking pattern. I recently returned things that still had tags on them that I really never needed to begin with. I hate debt but I am an impulse shopper so now I am avoiding the malls like crazy. Sadly, Christmas is coming up and most of the time I end up with more gifts for myself than for friends and family. Maybe I can shop online this year, but that would mean no last minute shopping (yeah right). Anyways, I got my locs and I love it. I really thought I was gonna look kinda like a nappy headed ho….. but that was not the case at all. My locs are very neat, well maintained and works well in the professional environment. It’s really a slow day today and I am bored out of my mind. Well I finally got the boot leg copy of American Gangster so I guess I will watch that tonight and just chill out. Speaking of American Gangster how did so many boot leg copies (good ones at that) get put on the market before the movie came out? This type of boot legging happens to the Tyler Perry's of the world, not movies like this. I was getting calls from St. Louis to Sacramento telling how great the movie was and how it's the best boot leg movie ever! And this was two days before the movie came out. Please believe boot legging has no color, a white guy on my job hooked me up with a copy. I'ma ask him to get me Why Did I Get Married next. Yeah I get boot leg especially when they are free. I got so many boot leg CDs that I hafta put them in the back seat becase I am running out of space. As they use to say.... don't hate the player .... hate the game

Waiting to Exhale

I’m not sure if it’s TBN or USA but they keep playing Waiting to Exhale at least once a week. Let me just say that I absolutely positively love this movie. When it first came out I was about 19 or 20. I liked the movie then but did not have enough experience in the field of love to really get it…. know what I mean. Yeah, I had my feeling hurt a time or two or three but nothing that made me evaluate who and how I love. So now that I’m a Full grown woman and had plenty experience in the area of relationships and love, I now see things in the movie that I can relate to more than I could in my early twenties. For example, when Savannah had sex with her date from the New Year’s Eve party, she really was not into him but she just needed some sexual relief. Come on ladies raise your hand if you ever had sex with a man knowing darn well you wouldn’t want to be caught dead with him outside the DARK bedroom . And as soon as he leaves you say, “I don’t know why I keep f*cking with that n*gga.” I could defiantly relate, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Then when Gloria was interested in her next door neighbor she had to make sure he was into fat women so invites him to dinner after telling him all the good food she planned to cook. After the neighbor declines she says, “To be honest, I don't have no business eating any of it as big as I am. “ Now my friend Rashida who is a phaty girl uses this type of action all the time. She says she has to know if the man can handle all of her thickness so she throws a few innuendos his way and if he can handle it, it’s on and popping.


Oh lets not forget Bernie. Y’all remember how her husband left her for the white girl and she was on the verge of a nervous break down. Then she says the infamous, “I give you 11 fucking years of my life and you're telling me you're leaving me for a white woman?” I loved how she was initially angry but with the help of friends did what was best and just kept it moving. After getting over the shock, selling some of his shit, slapping his bitch, and burning up his clothes she did some self reflection and realized she had put him and his needs before her needs. Now this taught me a valuable lesson such as, don’t get so busy taking care of someone else that you forget to take care of yourself. A real man wants his woman to live out her dreams too. Then remember at the birthday party she got so mad that she was gonna call the girlfriend and cuss her out. Thankfully she had some true women friends that let her know that sh*t was childish and to handle it like a grown woman. Lesson in this: Never let em see you sweat. Don’t let em see you break down crying and acting a fool, keep yo cool girl we gone get’em later.


Then we got Robin the typical woman. She was just looking for Mr. Right and kept finding Mr. Right Now. First she was in love with Russell who was a married man that kept saying he was gonna leave his wife. She let him come in and out of her life as he pleased and of course he never left his wife. Then she started messing with ole dude Michael from the office, again not really her type but he was worth a try. When she got’em home he was a horrible lay with a small member (if you know what I mean). He got on top started grunted and moaning and she looking like where’s the beef? They start talking after sex and he told her that he thought she was beautiful and smart and would love to offer her the world. So she was like okay, but just like most women who feel like they are settling she didn’t take no sh*t off of him, and dumped him after an altercation at work. How many of us have passed up on a perfectly good man that could make all our relationship dreams come true, but because he either didn’t look, act, or have the same cash as our last loser boyfriend we pass the good brotha on up. Then she gets with dope fiend Troy and he ready for her to meet his mama on the 3rd date. Not to mention he stole her wallet. This mess reminds me of my girl Gina she is notorious for finding the craziest men that keep stalking her all the time.

How many of y’all single sistahs can relate to Savannah’s mama. She kept telling Savannah to keep dating Kenneth because he was a “good” man. Let’s not bring up the fact the “good” man was married with kids and his wife was pregnant. Savannah mama was acting like if she did not get with Kenneth she would never find another man in her life. Finally Savannah told her mama that she was a single, successful, beautiful woman and she is okay with the fact that she may never get married. That is how I feel at this very moment! If the man comes great, if he doesn’t that’s great too. Life doesn’t stop because your single and I do not have the time or the patience to concentrate on such things for too long anyway.


Last but certainly not least is when Gloria was trying to convince Tarik to spend time with his daddy. Tarik got mad and told her why don’t she spend time with him since she sleeps with him every time he comes. See ladies I am convinced that most men still sleep with their baby’s mamas. The more they say they hate them, the more likely it is they are sleeping with em. Ask any baby mama and I bet 85% percent of them will tell you that she slept with her baby daddy this year. Even though she has a man and he has a woman, that’s why I prefer to date men without children.

I just love this movie because every woman can identify with one of the sistahs in the movie. I see a little of myself in every one of the characters. Unfortunately I have been in many of the same situations that the ladies in the movie encounter. Check TBN or USA and see when the next time it’s coming on, make you a drink, get you some popcorn, lay on the couch and have you a good ole time. Not to mention this sound track is slamming. Every song is a great one.

Just Another Manic Monday

Hey Everybody,


Well it’s Monday and work is ……well work. Looks like our computer system is going down, which means that we will have to do everything manually and that means I’ma really hafta work today…. damn. Nothing extraordinary happened this weekend, but I did see the locktian so she could see the condition of my hair. Now the locktian is in Inglewood and I am in Ventura which is about 45mins to an hour apart. Well wouldn’t cha know that on a Saturday afternoon the 101 and 405 freeways were packed to FULL capacity? It took me 2 hours to get to the locktian. Of course I was full of anxiety and pissed when I got there, but she was very nice, showed me a video of the process and everythang. I even have some sample locks in my hair. I finally set a date of Nov 9th to get the locks put in. I’m kinda excited but scared at the same time. My friends keep asking me if I am ready to look crazy and hafta explain my hair to my predominately hispanic and white co-workers.

I am aware I may look a little different once the locks are in, but I really have wanted locks for about 5 years. However, I kept worrying about what people would think, if I would be seen as pretty and dateable, if my job will see my hair as acceptable, and the undeniable “crazy” looking stage during the initial process of locks. Well finally I have gotten to a point in my life where I really don’t give a damn about what other people think. As my Mama use to say “Opinions are like a$$holes, everybody got one.” So with that said I am very confidant about getting my sisterlocks and will wear them with confidence and pride. As far as the co-workers I will have to educate them on my hair, BUT there will only be one speech given, then I will refer them to google. I hate explaining my hair choices to other ethnicities. Every human being has the same hair makeup. Hair is made of protein… peorid; the only difference is texture and thickness. Sorry about the hair thing and talking about it so much, it’s just that people place so much value on the hair and how it affects how other people see you it just makes me mad sometimes.


Anyways, my friend called me a racist. I was shocked but even more dismayed when she said that I was racist toward BLACK people! She says that calling them coons, buffoons, and ignorant is a form of discrimination. Ms Lady says that because I personally don’t like something doesn’t classify it as stupid or coonery. I really agree with her. However, there are people who are ignorant, stupid coons and do nothing with their power but make black people; no I take that back, make themselves look like buffoons to the world. Do I think people like Flavor Flav, New York, T.I, Beyonce, Jay-Z, and Dave Banner( just to name a few) are pillars of the black community………………. HELL NAW. But these people are in the spotlight and are subjected to my commentary be it good or bad. And if they do things that cause me to give them the sideways glance then ya know I’ma talk about it.

Too Bad You Can’t Buy Common Sense

It ceases to amaze me the behaviors displayed by black rappers and athletes. One would think when one amasses a great amount of wealth they would adjust their behavior to reflect their new status. This is especially true for those who started off poor and destitute. Why is it that you never hear about Bill Gates slapping a waitress upside the head or Donald Trump getting pulled over and massive amounts of marijuana found in his possession? Have you ever heard of billionaire investor Warren Buffett shooting one of his partners over an unpaid debt? The answer to all of these questions is a resounding NO. You see white folks (most of them anyway) know how to at least act civilized when they get a little dough. This is not to insinuate that all black people that go from rags to riches act a got-damn fool; however it seems that many of these rappers and athletes get a god complex and actually start to believe they are untouchable. They start to live out the things they rap about. Many tend to forget that at the end of the day they are black and subjected to the same bias laws as “Raheem” who stands on the block all day. The only difference is the system knows they ain’t gon get too much money outta “Raheem”. “Raheem” may drop a few stacks (which he probably got from his baby mama’s income tax return and his mama’s 401K plan) to pay for a defense team. On the other hand, when people like Vick commit crimes the judicial system smiles because they know he may have to part with hundreds of thousands of dollars maybe millions to put on a proper defense. This does not include any financial compensation given to the victim or restitution ordered by the court. The courts system will straight break a black “rich” person down to their pre millionaire status. A great example of this is Michael Jackson if he’s not broke he’s damn near broke, the same goes for Ms Foxy Brown, what lil money she had from shaking her ill na na is now in the hands of lawyers and the judicial system.

I just shook my head when I heard about the T.I. situation. Here this man made 18 million dollars last year, self proclaimed King of the South, and overall great performer busted buying a machine gun. That sound like an oxymoron doesn’t? What the hell was this man thinking, what was running through his mind, why would he even be involved with something like this? People say, Oh he is a gun collector. However, he is also a convicted felon who is NOT supposed to have guns let alone be a gun collector! That’s equivalent to letting a child molester open a string of daycares because they love children. Rumors are saying that in order to be considered for house arrest he will need to give the courts 3.7 million dollars and some property. Before hitting it big I bet Mr. T.I. could not even image what 3.7 million dollars look like let alone spending it on something as frivolous as bail. If and when he gets out of this you can bet he will be a few million lighter, as a matter of fact he may be heading back to College Park to his old four family flat with Tamika and the kids in tow. The system is gonna make sure they bleed him dry before they let him go. It kills me how all these people still wanna remain gansta and let everyone know they still hood. My question to that is why? If I made 18 million last year do you think I will still be going to the hood hanging on the block just chilling? I would do my best to help revitalize the hood with things like community centers, scholarships, first time home buyer assistance, ect. But with that type of money you have nothing to prove to anyone but God. So as y’all can tell I do not, in any shape form or fashion for T.I., Claude Terrell, Mike Vick, Adam “Pacman” Jones or Foxy Brown.

Very few people get to really live their dreams. Not many people get to become multi-millionaires in their life time. So it is imperative that when one goes from rags to riches they protect themselves by displaying the appropriate behavior. The people that love you, love you for you and would never ask you to do something to jeopardize your career just to prove you are still down. Also try to humble yourself (Claude Terrell and Foxy Brown) you are not above the law; you are not God you will be held accountable for your actions. Last but not least get you some wisdom, (Mike Vick, Adam “Pacman” Jones) if you feel that you can not make good decisions and your judgment is a bit off, surround yourself with wise intelligent people and LISTEN to what they are telling you. Because Mike Vick, Adam “Pacman” Jones are the laughing stock of the sports industry at this moment, over some pure foolishness.

Burn Baby Burn

I am really getting the California experience. I happen to live in Southern California and Tony Tone Toni was right (almost) when they said that it never rains in Southern California. I love the rain and believe it or not I got more rain when I lived in Phoenix. I can honestly tell you that it has only rained 3 times this year, maybe 6 if you wanna count those times in rained overnight for a few minutes. And when it does rain, it only rains for a few hours then its back to baby blue skies.


On top of that we have the Santa Ana winds to deal with. If you are not from California you probably never heard of the Santa Ana winds. The Santa Ana winds are hot, dry, strong gusts of winds born near the Rocky Mountains. The air is then pushed westward out through the deserts where it warms at a rate of 5 degrees per 1,000 feet. These winds are very, very hot and very very strong. While at church yesterday the winds were blowing so hard that the minister had to stop his sermon and pray for the winds and protection of the parishioners vehicles. No lie, people were concerned that the winds would blow their cars over. Yesterday the winds were at 70mph in Ventura County. Y’all know I was holding on to my drawstring ponytail hoping that it did not fly off.


Then to add fuel to the fire so to speak, a power line was blown down by the wind and caused this huge fire in Malibu. I live fairly close to Malibu and was very concerned when I heard that it was burning. I personally never experienced fires until I moved to California. People here are so laid back and calm, me I got my bags packed and ready to roll if the fire marshal says its time to evacuate. Y’all know I ain’t leaving my clothes and shoes for nobody. I use to do the same thing when they would do a fire escape practice at school. I would go to the coat room and grab my coat before I left the room. The teacher would chastise me for getting my coat, but my mama would not be happy if I left my London Fog coat in the coat room and someone stole it while we were practicing the fire plan. Hell even if there was a fire you can betcha last dollar that I will be getting my purse and London Fog coat.


Yesterday my neighborhood resembled what I imagine Armageddon would look like. First there was thick black smoke everywhere. The smoke was so thick that it covered the sun and it look like it was mid night at 3o’clock in the afternoon. Thick ash was floating around the sky coating the trees, grass, and cars. It was very hard to breathe because the soot would stick to your nasal passages, and when you do the hock spit it is really black due to all the soot in lungs. The smell of burnt grass permeated throughout the house and started to give me a severe headache. Not to mention that the smoke down my street was so thick that people were unable to see the cars in front of them. I just kept looking out the window like a kid watching her first snow storm. I was strangely fascinated and scared at the same time. Please keep the people directly affected by the fires in your prayer because this is a very serious thing for them, and they could possibly lose their homes.

Enough Is Enough

Damn I don’t know when it happened or how it happened but I think I am a grown ass woman now. Last night I was watching TV and I saw that the BET Hip Hop Awards were coming on in 5 minutes .For the first time I had no desire to see those ignorant, over paid, under educated, Negros perform. I was very surprised to find that my views regarding hip hop has changed so drastically. I think when I started hearing lyrics like “back that ass up”, “ shake it like a dog” “Ooh Na Na Naa Naa I'm so horny”, or the very latest “ “shawty, shawty, shawty wadsyaname is, wadsyaname iz, wadsyaname iz”…. Really….. Is this something a grown ass woman wants to listen to and call entertainment? For me the answer is no. My hip hop collection is shrinking radically, because I can’t get with what these brothers (and in some cases sistahs) are saying.


I decided to watch Law and Order, but when that went to commercial I flicked over to BET and Kanye is on the stage with pink pants on. I caught about 15 minutes of the show and many times I felt a twinge inside, similar to the one I use to feel for contestants on Show Time at the Apollo, when the contestant really could not sing. You know that feeling of being embarrassed on behalf of the contestant. That’s the way I felt watching those measly 15 minutes of the BET Hip Hop Awards.

My friends make fun of me all the time because I really do not listen to song with lyrics that are offensive to women. What really burns me up is when a song (using term loosely) calls women bitches, whores, or speak of supermanning that hoe and women be the first on the dance floor, snapping our fingers and shaking our asses. One time I was in the car with my friend and Mystical’s song “shake it like a dog” came on and I told her to turn it off, because I did not want to hear that crap. My friend thought I was taking it too far, but I did not feel like hearing garbage.

I look at rappers like Jay-Z and shake my head. I can not believe we (the consumer, no I take that back, white suburban kids) have made this man a multi-millionaire. We have provided this man with the means to sail around France in his yacht, buy a basketball team, and open up several restaurants. In the meantime our schools are failing, HIV is on the rise, black kids are dropping out of school like crazy, black men are going to jail at an increasing rate and good jobs are becoming harder to find than a needle in a haystack. All that buying power going astray, as the black community suffers power economic blows. I guess hard times makes for good rap material for the future rappers of America. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on the man but when people rap about selling drugs and they ain’t seen a piece of crack since at least 1997 need to find something new to talk about, the same with Lil Wayne and many other rappers. But their massive fortunes and spending habits really doesn’t concern me. I personally buy most of the hip hop that I do have from the boot leg man. I rather see the man on the corner make a come up than the rapper reminding me about how much weight he used to push or how many hoes he f*cks.



So BET, MTV. and VH1 can have as many award shows as they like, I’m no longer anxiously awaiting to see who will win best rapper of the year. To show you how crazy VH1 is they gave a tribute to the Wu-Tang Clan. How the hell you gone jump from MC Lyte ( a real raptress) to the Wu-Tang Clan. What about Dougie Fresh, LL Cool J, Roxanne Shante, hell even Cool Moe Dee.

Well that’s my rant for today, y’all folks have a great Thursday and I’ll talk to y’all later.

A Night With Jill

I am still feeling good from last night. In my venture to create a life in LA I decided that I would go see Ms Jilly from Philly live at the House of Blues. And what a divine, decadent treat it was. I was so close to Jill I could see her sweat, and the show was sold out, so you know the house was packed to full capacity. Y’all know I go everywhere alone so another sistah that came alone became my friend for the night. My new friend told me I was in for a sho nuff good a$$ show. Jill looked and sounded great, she exuded love and confidence, and her aura was simply glowing. I’m glad Jill decided to take off the wig she wore to the Why did I get Married premiere and rock her fro. Her band was on point them boys were cutting up, especially the one on the guitar. Jill sang most of her new cuts, and a few of the all time favorites. One lady up front kept asking Jill to sing different songs, she was actually screaming at Jill while she was on stage: sing this, sing that. Jill gave the woman the side eye the first time, and then she gave her the ice grill. Neither of this deterred the woman from making requesting. Finally Jill just said, “Shut the fuck up, if you do not shut up I will have you escorted up outta here and give you your money back.” The crowd started to clap and the woman got so embarrassed she left early. Which is a shame because this same woman came in late, and pushed her way to the front of the stage, bypassing all those that waited in line before her so they could have a great view. I guess kama is a b*tch. The concert continued and she rocked the house for close to two hours. I must admit I was very satisfied with this concert and would love to see her again soon.

I was really concerned with what I was gonna wear to the concert. I try to look diva-lious when I go out but my diva senses was advising me to leave the stilettos at home and wear something more comfortable. I was conflicted because as a single eligible woman looking for “Mr. Right” I try to keep my style game on point because ya never know who you might meet. Plus I did not want to be the only one in the crowd dressed casually and everyone else would be as my grandma use to say, cleaner than the board of health. Thankfully I trusted the diva senses because not only was there a line to get in but the House of Blues is a standing room only type of venue. Yes, I was on my feet for at least 2 hours. Don’t get it twisted I still looked great but I opted for a more relaxed look. As usual I had to pay for parking which was an additional $15.00; you may ask why I did not park on the streets. Well I am glad you asked, the meters in LA run until 2:00AM. Believe me the meter maids are working all night long, and will give you a ticket in a minute. Plus you can only be in the same parking spot for a maximum of two hours, if you are there longer your than two hours you will be ticketed. So basically you are forced to pay for parking. Another funny thing that cracked me up was all the stunners in LA. It may have been 65 degrees last night and I can not tell you how many people had on their faux fur and mink coats, it was crazy. But, I must admit that most of them were on their style game.




All I can say is if you get the chance to see Ms Jill, go see her. It was worth all the trouble I endured from ticketmaster.

Good Times

Hello Beautiful Ones,


Saturday I went to the Taste of Soul in LA and had a blast. I was really hesitant because I thought I would not have a good time but man I am so glad that I decided to go. First of all, there was so many beautiful black people there (75,000 to be exact, no kidding) and everyone was getting along and having a good time. I just kept looking around at the crowd and feeling like I was at home. To be honest with y’all I have not seen more than 15 black folks at one time since I left St. Louis. When I lived in AZ the only time I saw a group of black people was when I went to church, other than that I generally only saw 2-3 black people a week. Now that I live in Ventura I still see only 2-3 black people a week. My roommates are white and that my co-workers are either hispanic or white so I have grown accustomed to being the only black girl in many situations. Well the Taste of Soul provided me with my much needed fix of black folks. I wanted to personally hug every black person that day, all 75,000 of them! The Taste of Soul was on Crenshaw in Liemert Park so I knew that it would be in the hood, and personally I miss the hood. The food was great; I ate fried catfish, fries, and blackberry cobbler to my hearts content (restarted my diet today) . Y’all know those greasy spoons in the hood have the best food. That damn catfish was fried to perfection, and the old lady in the restaurant put her foot in the cobbler. I was smiling all day. There were plenty of black vendors to suite everyone’s taste. I was amazed that there was a Macy’s on Crenshaw. Macy’s could never exist in my old neighborhood, my people would have robbed poor Macy’s blind, and there were several Starbucks which I also found astonishing. People in my old hood would not pay $3.65 for a cup of coffee, plus my Aunt insists that White Castles coffee is much better than Starbucks anyway. I guess LA has classy ghetto folks.


Towards the end of the evening there was a concert and I had the pleasure of sitting with a few ladies that was about my momma’s age ( around 48) and boy did those ladies know how to party. The performers were Evelyn Champaign –King, Angie Stone, The Mary Jane Girls, Bobby Brown and Angela Windbush. I was glad that my momma kept those records playing when I was a little kid because I knew all the words to most of the songs. That concert took me back to when I was a kid, on Saturdays my momma would get her albums out put the records on the component set. She would make sure the needle was good, then she would place a penny on the top of the needle and we would be grooving all afternoon ( sorry nostalgic took over). Man Evelyn Champaign –King did her thang. I know that lady has to be in her middle 50’s and she looked like she was at least 35. I was grooving with my crew when the Mary Jane Girls began singing In My House, Candy Man, and All Night Long, we lost our minds. It was straight ole school, we were waving our hands in the air, chanting “Go Mary Jane, Go Mary Jane, Go.” Me and my crew were dancing, lip syncing, and having a good ole time. Speaking of looking good, Angie Windbush was looking fabulous. She told the crowd that she has been fighting cancer for the last 4 years and is now cancer free, but while fighting cancer she was also in the mist of a divorce from Ron “Mr. Big” Isley. I must say it looked like she recovered nicely and her voice is still very soulful. I was pleasantly surprised by Bobby Brown. He appeared to be sober, clean, and ready to rock the house. Bobby actually did a good job and gave a great performance; he worked the stage and came with plenty of energy too. I used to love the old Bobby Brown, he could sing, slow grind, and make you wish you were his tender roni. Finally Angie Stone came on the stage and tore it completely down. I just had a great time and went home full and happy.

If My Chocolaty-ness Offends.. Oh Well.

Last night one of my very good friends pissed me off so bad I considered telling her to kiss my ass and get a life. Don’t get me wrong I love my friend and she has been there for me through some really rough times in my life, however even the people we love can have very foolish opinions.

I was telling my friend that I am cutting all the relaxed hair off because I was tired of dealing with two textures of hair. She then asked me how long my hair would be when I cut off the relaxed portion of hair. I told her that I would be left with about 3” of hair and I may wear a small afro or twists. She got really, really quiet, then she said I think you are gonna look crazy with that nappy hair on your head, especially if you wear it in an afro. I asked her what she means when she says crazy. She said I just think you won’t look right with short natural hair because you are dark skinned. Now I’m getting pissed but strangely I’m interested in what she has to say. So I press her further. “What does my skin color hafta do with me wearing my hair short and in its natural state?” She replied, “Dark skinned people that have short nappy hair, look like they are from Africa, and they just don’t look right.” Then she went on to say that she needed a photo of me after I cut my hair to make sure that I looked okay because she has some very important people she wants me to meet and she does not want me to be looking all crazy when I meet them.


You may ask is this b*tch really a friend. I would hafta still say yes, she just may be a bit ill informed and suffer from what I call “white is right syndrome.” My friend is black but like many blacks she thinks that dark skin is not all that beautiful and nappy hair is certainly not an accepted practice. Most people would probably have told her a few choice words and never spoken to her again. Then again, this is something that I am unfortunately used too. I have grown accustomed to people “making fun” of my skin, being thought of as less attractive or undesirable all due to the hue of skin. Many of my family members tried to instill high self esteem and self worth but they could only shelter me so much because at some point we all have to deal with the real world. It took years for me to realize that I am not damaged and that God made me this way, and in his eyes I am perfection at its best!

Even with that said I am still amazed that some black people still trip so hard off of skin tones. We have been so brain washed to believe that beauty comes in the form of light skin (the lighter the better), narrow noses, light eyes and thin bodies. Hell, until Angelina Jolie full lips were a big no-no, but since it’s been socially accepted by white folks we can start to feel good about our naturally full lips again. And as far as hair is concerned I am still trying to figure out why nappy is considered a four letter word that should never be used in association with a well groomed, pretty black woman. Is it that “pretty” girls don’t have nappy hair and dark skin? Why are we so afraid of our natural hair, it’s the way we were made. Do you see other ethnicities using permanent chemicals to make their hair look like black folks hair? Then why must we all conform to making our hair resemble the hair of our European counterparts. Once again I have no problem with the way anyone, black or white wears their hair, but please do not tell me I am not beautiful if I do not look like the prescribed perception of beauty. I have learned that beauty is really in the eye of the beholder and beauty is different things to different people. But in my mind India Arie is just as beautiful as Rhianna and Me'Shell Ndegéocello is just as radiant as Alicia Keys. So many black people have allowed white folks to shape their views, perceptions and opinions of their own race. Some of us have no idea of what real beauty is because we have become comfortable with main stream (white) America telling us what is acceptable and like ” good black folks” we believe what massa says. And if you go against the grain you will be punished with people questioning your authentic God given beauty. Expect name calling, elitist behavior and superiority issues.

As I’ve grown older thankfully wisdom as followed and I know inevitably self love is the most important asset a person can possess. When a person has a good level of confidence people are immediately drawn to them. Most people can’t even explain why they like confidant people normally they say “it’s just something about them.” I like to call it swagger and recently, my swagger increased about ten folds. My new swagger lets people know I think I am beautiful, radiant, lovely, personable, and divine. If my chocolaty hue offends, oh well, I am what I am. Like Mary says, “Take me as I am, or have nothing at all, I can only be me.” So I guess I won’t be meeting my friend’s people anytime soon, and to be honest I really don’t give a damn what she thinks either. Oh and don’t look forward to receiving that photo because I don’t need approval. I love my life, and I try to live each day like it’s golden.