My Secret Addiction

I have a confession to make. I am a person that loves to gossip. When my girlfriends tell me that they have some juicy news I get really excited and often interject my opinions before they are through with the story. Gossip is my heroin, other people’s business is my crack and spreading gossip is my meth. Recently, I started gossiping about “family business” with my cousin and it really went too far. Have you ever gossiped with someone and they took it to another level? For example just straight dogging the person like they ain’t sh*t and that was really not what you were going for. I mean it just got real nasty and I really didn’t like how she talked so grimy about my people. But, like a coward I didn’t say anything. Now that she found religion when we gossip she cloth it in the disguise of “genuine concern” and add I’ll pray for them at the end of every damn sentence. Here I am trying to get the dirt or spread the word and she talking about praying for them and she is spreading the gossip worse than me! Long story short, I am getting pretty tired of gossiping about people. I know it is a very unattractive thing to do in the first place but I often find myself in the mist of gossiping before I really know it. After dealing with my cousin she make a sistah want to stop talking about people all together. I try to keep my sin and my GOD completely and totally separated but when I see her combining the two it makes me feel really low and forces me to acknowledge that gossiping can get out of hand and it is just wrong. Not to mention the person that we were gossiping about is good people and would do anything in the world for anybody (most of the time), and she would be so hurt if she heard some of the things we said about her. I actually hate I said anything at all and would take it back if I could, but since I can not undo what has been done I am no longer going to entertain gossip. I can tell that the whole situation is putting a drain on my spirit and maybe stopping my blessings as well. I can not promise I will stop cold turkey, but I will be slowing my roll when it comes to wagging my tongue about other people’s business, not to mention it is just a spineless thing to do. I have been trying to become a person of good integrity and great character. This may be God is using my addiction to gossip to turn me towards the path of truth. I can not stress to you how bad I feel about our last gossiping session, heck I may just have to cut her off for awhile. But in my defense I come from a lineage of gossipers. My grandma would know everybody’s business in the neighborhood and could give dates and times. By the time I came home from school she would give the dirt that happened on the block, like who was cheating with who, who was tricking for crack and what time the booster was coming on the block with the stuff she stole from the mall. My mama knew all her co-workers business and would tell it to anybody that would listen. Even my brother gossip, but he is the Ms. Jenkins type of gossiper (I’ma tell you about this, but if somebody ask you how you found out, you ain’t heard it from me) he could tell you who the homo thugs were and who was snitching to the cops. Anybody know of a good 12 step program in the LA area for me to join? Because this is going to be a serious fight and I know by tonight I will be jonesing for some gossip, please do not call, write, email, or text me anything that is gossip. If I start gossiping simply hang up on me or tell me to shut the hell up.