The Starter Husband

In America, based on statistics a married couple has a 50% chance of staying married longer that 7 years. Now if you are a black couple your chances decrease to a 30% chance to making it to that 7 year anniversary. Heck that is not even enough time to make a dent in a 30 year mortgage or other debts married couples may accumulate. I was reading an article in Marie Claire titled “The Starter Husband” and it gave insight to why many young marriages may be failing. According to the article many young women have a casual disregard for the institution of marriage, something that can be slipped in and out of very easily. That is especially the case when there are no children involved. One woman in the article is quoted as saying, “Today marriage is the new dating and having children is the new marriage. I would have never gotten married if I didn’t think I could get out of it.” For some a starter husband is like a starter home- a semi commitment where you’re willing to do some of the surface work, like painting the walls, but not heavy lifting, like gutting the whole foundation; he’s just not a long term investment. Others compare starter husbands to a first job, where you learn some skills and polish your resume before going after the position you really want. We live in an H&M culture, where you can go out and by 10 cheap items for the season, then toss them, rather than investing in one beautiful coat you’ll wear another 10 seasons. More and more women have that throwaway mentality with their first marriage. Most of us find ourselves married and we don’t know what a real marriage is or what it is suppose to feel like. Pressure is coming from every angle to get married and start a family especially if you are 25 or older. We want to do the respectable thing and get married right ? However, women today are making new rules to divorce. Unlike their mothers and grandmothers who stayed in failed marriages for financial reasons, today’s woman can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. There is no longer a need to stay put in an empty shell of a marriage---an agreement on paper only, instead young women are divorcing in record numbers and remarrying within 5 years. Tell me your thoughts on this do you think women between the ages of 18-35 are looking for starter husbands’ not permanent life partners.

* orginal article found in Marie Claire, written by Gretchen Voss