There's a thin line between "THICK" and FAT

I've never been a skinny person, I was a self described "thick" girl. But along the way the lines between thick and fat got really blurry. When I was lonely, depressed, happy or sad I ate. In my teens and early twenties I could eat whatever I wanted, however during the late twenties the weight started to stick. This was not a problem for me because most of my friends were bonified "thick" chicks. Plus gaining weight had a small advantage…..more booty. Contrary to that, not only did I get extra booty, I got extra stomachs, a pound of back fat, bigger breast, and stretch marks came with the territory as well. In four years my destructive eating led me to gain more than 75 lbs, that is about 18.7 lbs a year. Crazy me, I still thought I was phyne and thick, kinda like a crack head looking in the mirror after losing 80lbs and still thinking she is the prom queen. After moving to the West Coast I went back home for Christmas last year still thinking I was phyne. Needless to say, that thought did not last long, everybody kept saying "damn you big", "what chu been eating", and the straw that broke the camels back "are you pregnant?". Oh my gosh, could it be I was actually fat. Yes I went from 149 to 224 but I was still thick right? Here I was living in my own delusional world thinking I was thick when I was just plain ole FAT.

After getting teased relentlessly by family and friends, I had a self intervention. I asked myself what is thick and what is fat. For me thick is someone that still had a shape and had meat on her bones. Thick chicks were healthy and did not use food for comfort. My doctor advised me I had high cholesterol, was on the verge of diabetes, and my blood pressure was on the rise. I realized I was not thick and immediately joined Jenny Craig. I was determined to lose at least 45lbs in a year. Guess what y'all I have lost 27lbs; I need to lose additinal 18 lbs by Dec 22nd. I can't lie, losing this weight has been hard. Most of the time I do not feel like working out, and all this healthy food are expensive. I no longer eat for comfort, but I do still eat my brownies from time to time. My back fat (back cleavage as I call it) and my gut is getting smaller. I feel so much better, I have energy and I can breathe (no more snoring)... yay. I am so excited to be finally getting back into old clothes and going to the mall again... I am starting to feel like me again and I luv it.


Side note…. I am trying to let my hair grow out. I decided not to perm my hair anymore, by wearing braids, my afro puff or wigs. I love wearing my hair in a natural hair in an afro puff. It takes no time to get ready , a little conditioner and Optimal Care moisturizer and I’m good. Well I went to the beauty supply last week and saw this cute wig, and had to have it. Sunday I washed my hair and plaited it up so it would be flat under my new wig. I was okay on Monday because it was a bit cooler, oh but today is another story. It’s kinda hot today, and my head is on fire and itchy. I keep running in the bathroom stall taking off my wig and scratching my head. Whew, this is more than I anticipated, I don’t know how Beyonce does it, these wigs are nerve-racking. I guess tonight I will retire the wig and put my hair back into the afro ponytail. I thought I was gonna be able to switch it up while my hair grew out but I may need to rethink how I wanna handle this situation. I gotta go y’all my head is itching hella bad.